Limited Offer

[pensivepoet]

Giving you a little bump this morning as an apology. I haven't had as much fun in weeks though, so I can't be too sorry.

As you can see from my post count, I don't post much as so many of the threads here skip all the fun stuff and go straight to the point. I happen to love foreplay, and teasing is a big part of that. So, you tickled me

Now, off to Brazil. Rodrigo has offered me the use of his yacht as I start writing my next Lit story submission, and ya'll are too distracting for me to concentrate.

I'm not sure "y'all" works in Rio.
And now that you have me stuttering, my pitch is ruined.
Just my luck, I'm a sucker for a great tease.

 

[EquinoxRising]

Well, he did take me on the ten dollar mt rushmore helicopter ride so that was kind of cool.
Deadwood, not so much.

Ah, groovy.


Suuuuure... Insult my town! *cry*

 

[pensivepoet]

Ah, groovy.


Suuuuure... Insult my town! *cry*

I would've loved it 150 yrs ago.
It just isn't the same when you have to put a quarter in your horse.

 

[EquinoxRising]

I would've loved it 150 yrs ago.
It just isn't the same when you have to put a quarter in your horse.

Or your serving wench.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

Or your serving wench.

LOL! Now that made me laugh

 

[EquinoxRising]

 

[AKentuckyLady]

I'm not sure "y'all" works in Rio.
And now that you have me stuttering, my pitch is ruined.
Just my luck, I'm a sucker for a great tease.

Oh, "ya'll" works everywhere in the world. Don't you know that everyone outside of the US loves a southern accent?

Smooth as silk, sweet as honey with a little devilry in the delivery...

PS - I think you ruined your own pitch when you threw in the Ginsu knives...

 

[pensivepoet]

Or your serving wench.

That might be a plus
I've never had a wench. Always wanted one.

 

[pensivepoet]

Oh, "ya'll" works everywhere in the world. Don't you know that everyone outside of the US loves a southern accent?

Smooth as silk, sweet as honey with a little devilry in the delivery...

PS - I think you ruined your own pitch when you threw in the Ginsu knives...

No, you're thinking of the clapper.
Clap on/clap off
Ginsu is timeless as tomatos
Y'all

 

[pensivepoet]

I've got it!
We can all take a 3 hour cruise, a 3 hours cruise, to Gilligan's Island.
KyL can be Ginger, Equi can be Mary Ann cuz in my fantasies she looks really good in them shorts.
Chris can be the skipper, Jett can be Gilligan, and I'll be the professor so I can invent really cool toys out of bamboo.
We wont bring the Howells cuz we'd kill em the first day anyway, and steal their scotch.

 

[jezzilee]

Be still, your beating heart
In this one time only offer, I'm generously offering myself on time share.
Yes! It's true!
In conjuntion with Ginsu and Bill Shatner enterprises, this one time offer is now being made available to the general public!
For only 89.99 a month, you too, can have a piece of me.
What will you get for this ridiculously low price?
For three weeks a year, you can whisk me off to an island of your choice.
Once there, you can wine me and dine me while I nod, smile, and act attentive to your every supercilious need!
If I don't fall asleep, pass out, or run away with the waitress, there may even be sex involved!
*an added charge if you're over 80 years old, more than 500 pounds, or have a better moustache than me*
But wait! There's more!
I will also send you a card on your birthday, and three holidays of your choosing!
To good to be true, you ask?
And there's even more!
I will sit for a family portrait, and one lucky girl will win a Thanksgiving with me!
So act quickly, ladies. The weeks are filling up fast.
*all expenses are to be paid by Mastercard-yours*

Is there a Christmas clearance offer?

 

[pensivepoet]

Is there a Christmas clearance offer?

Hey, it's Jezzi!
Well, we've had to scale back from Monte Carlo to Gilligan's Isle cuz Laurel wanted her cut for not having me arrested.
The good news is that Bill Shatner has agreed to sing and pole dance on the voyage.
If you sign up today you'll get a complete set of Ginsus.

 

[jezzilee]

Meh...I think I will have to pass. I spent my summer on the island!

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j8/jezzi_lee/278.jpg

 

[AKentuckyLady]

I've got it!
We can all take a 3 hour cruise, a 3 hours cruise, to Gilligan's Island.
KyL can be Ginger, Equi can be Mary Ann cuz in my fantasies she looks really good in them shorts.
Chris can be the skipper, Jett can be Gilligan, and I'll be the professor so I can invent really cool toys out of bamboo.
We wont bring the Howells cuz we'd kill em the first day anyway, and steal their scotch.

Count me in. Anyone that can wear a spotless, ironed, button-down on a deserted island and also happens to have clever hands would be worth missing Monte Carlo this year.

 

[pensivepoet]

Meh...I think I will have to pass. I spent my summer on the island!

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j8/jezzi_lee/278.jpg

Without me?
Hmph
I'm cancelling my tramp stamp for the Jezzi and Jizz tour.

 

[pensivepoet]

Count me in. Anyone that can wear a spotless, ironed, button-down on a deserted island and also happens to have clever hands would be worth missing Monte Carlo this year.

That's the spirit!
But I've had to scale back a bit more.
We'll be sailing on Alcatraz Cruise Lines. Some of us may have to chop bait on the voyage out.
The boat~I mean ship, is a bit smaller than I'd hoped.
The bar will be a keg on the back and a case of Jim Beam.
There's a weight issue, so clothes will not be allowed.
Some of the berths will be on the rubber raft I stole~I mean borrowed, from a derelict.
It will be towed and it's the prime spot for whale watching.
It'll all be in the pamphlet.

 

[jezzilee]

Without me?
Hmph
I'm cancelling my tramp stamp for the Jezzi and Jizz tour.

There's a rope swing there and everything...beer pong, that frisbee game with the beer cups, music...the pirate ship (pontoon) even has a huge bonfire pit that we put out at night and brings a flat screen for packer games early in the season....a fun time was definitely had by all.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

That's the spirit!
But I've had to scale back a bit more.
We'll be sailing on Alcatraz Cruise Lines. Some of us may have to chop bait on the voyage out.
The boat~I mean ship, is a bit smaller than I'd hoped.
The bar will be a keg on the back and a case of Jim Beam.
There's a weight issue, so clothes will not be allowed.
Some of the berths will be on the rubber raft I stole~I mean borrowed, from a derelict.
It will be towed and it's the prime spot for whale watching.
It'll all be in the pamphlet.

Awww, you're bringing Jim Beam for me? What if I prefer Maker's Mark, can you *spring* for that instead?

You go right ahead and chop bait. I'll be up on the top deck, making sure the captain stays happy and satisfied

 

[EquinoxRising]

So far I haven't seen anything about my buddies...Jose and Mr. Bacardi.

 

[hotsweetdesire]

Can I get on this ship too? My credit card is out and I'll pay double, as long as you can guarantee AKentuckyLady is there for entertainment. I'll even bring Mark, Jose and Mr. Bacardi with me.

 

[EquinoxRising]

Can I get on this ship too? My credit card is out and I'll pay double, as long as you can guarantee AKentuckyLady is there for entertainment. I'll even bring Mark, Jose and Mr. Bacardi with me.

*perk*

 

[pensivepoet]

There's a rope swing there and everything...beer pong, that frisbee game with the beer cups, music...the pirate ship (pontoon) even has a huge bonfire pit that we put out at night and brings a flat screen for packer games early in the season....a fun time was definitely had by all.

Whew! That was close
I didn't see you were a cheesehead in the application.
Captain Smitty would never go for that. It would jinx his catch.

 

[pensivepoet]

Awww, you're bringing Jim Beam for me? What if I prefer Maker's Mark, can you *spring* for that instead?

You go right ahead and chop bait. I'll be up on the top deck, making sure the captain stays happy and satisfied

That's no problem. I have Makers Mark labels. (I've had this happen before)
For the bait chopping, I've decided to do a raffle. You know, *wink wink* win "be a fisherman for a day" contest. Every dollar helps.
Be careful with cap't Smitty. He isn't quite right.
Jus saying

 

[pensivepoet]

So far I haven't seen anything about my buddies...Jose and Mr. Bacardi.

Just look in the cabinet where the flares and life preservers are supposed to be.
But keep it a secret

 

[pensivepoet]

Can I get on this ship too? My credit card is out and I'll pay double, as long as you can guarantee AKentuckyLady is there for entertainment. I'll even bring Mark, Jose and Mr. Bacardi with me.

I think we can work something out. Have you ever scraped barnacles?