Lit blog

[DeepAsleep]

Woke up and drove the girl to therapy (....that comment is appropriate in so many different ways) and then I got my taxes done. I cleared just over ten grand, this year, and like I do every year, I try and remember what the fuck I spent all that money on. Yeah, rent and utilities, sure, car payments, but... still.

Did I really spend that much on cigarettes, beer, and beef jerky? GAWD.

Waiting for the freshly therapped girl to get back, hopefully with condoms. Shrink to fuck with her head, and me to...

heh!

My hair looks fit for any punker, this afternoon and I should be off doing laundry.....again, but I've got poetry to deal with, tonight. So, who knows? Girl didn't pay her bar tab, last week, so I'll prolly have to cover it, plus I owe Clarence (www.nabraskapoet.com) some dough for that CD he gave me. I'm leaking money like the titanic took on water and it's driving me crazy. Fuckers around here need to start paying rent.

Ghetto poetry was awesome, last night, though I always feel like the loneliest cracker amongst a roomful of black poets. Everything I hear until I get onstage is poems about chocolate this and chocolate that, being a single mom and, "Don't call me mothafucka! Mothafucka this! Mothafucka that! You hate me because I won't eat yo' cat?" (which is an actual poem I heard, and it was way more awesome than I can tell you about) The promoters/organizers keep telling me to come back, though, so.. props to me for practicing my delivery so much, I suppose.

If I don't shave, the girl's gonna get rugburn on her face. I like being a rumpled, unshaved poet-type, though.

I'm fairly certain that the halfway house stray who asked me about sucking my own dick is masturbating clandestinely on the couch, as I type this, not eight feet from me. She's watching some WB bullshit on the TV. I hear little sounds and she keeps looking at me. The whole blanket moving tellingly around her crotch area thing is a pretty dead giveaway, too. This isn't happening. WHO MASTURBATES TO FUCKING CHARMED?!

A past conversation:

Me: "I notice you own a lot of swords. Are you a ninja?"

Her: "No, I love the Samurai."

Me: "Ah.... 'In what does the way of the samurai lie?' "

Her: "........Honor?....." (Insert vapid expression here)

Me: *clubs her with a copy of the Hagakure*

If you've never read the Hagakure ('In the shadow of leaves'), incidentally, I'd highly recommend it. There is a lot of useful advice and some random tidbits of wisdom there that are applicable even to a life not lived with sword at hip.

I am going to bash this girl with an empty beer bottle and then go take a shower. I feel like filth.

~Ross
"I will not fear (masturbators). Fear (of masturbators) is the mind killer...." - Dune (adapted)

 

[annaswirls]

We are moving to Texas this summer. It is official. I am a bit concerned that I have not felt any sadness in leaving everything that I have built here in the past four years, or moving further yet from my family. Maybe it is denial, or maybe I am getting better with transitions. Maybe it is just becuase I really love Austin, and have this romantic delusion that maybe things will be better.

 

[Senna Jawa]

i am having the crappiest birthday of all time.

C'mon, Mojo Cat, happy birthday!!! And life at Literotica starts after 3.

Senna Jawa​

 

[Senna Jawa]

My hair looks fit for any punker, this afternoon and I should be off doing laundry

d'u mean "...off to barber"?

 

[Maria2394]

Wwit?????

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Good Morning!

There is a glorious sunrise this morning and I am listening to New Orleans is sinking by the Tragically Hip. I'd love to kiss Gord Downies big bald head...no, not that one the one in between his shoulders.
I am waiting for my orchids to bloom...I have been takeing care of them for over a year and they have not bloomed for me yet. I think they need some food.
I rearranged my rose garden yesterday, I have over thirty rose plants...they are hard to grow well in this area of the world. I moved my lillies around too, there is always some adjustment to do this time of year.
The sky is the color of lemon sherbert right now, my coffe is cold and getting to the last syurpy inch at the bottom. I am going for a new cup now and I take it back, Gord Downie could have me.

 

[annaswirls]

the baby is asleep without me in her crate (filled with soft things)

three people have told me to wrap up a ticking clock for her, and I got it ready for next time-- wrapped in one of my stinky t-shirts so she can smell me. I used to do that with the boys, nurse them to sleep and then slip out of my pajama top to lie next to them and sneak out of bed....

I know she is a puppy not a person, but it is nice to have a baby in the house

 

[eagleyez]

unusually warm again
high winds-
candles on the ready
flashlights as well.

 

[annaswirls]

unusually warm again
high winds-
candles on the ready
flashlights as well.

have you seen (and felt) the ones you shake shake shake
to generate the electricity to light the bulbs?
This is not a poem.
I do not feel this coming from my soul
just the tips of my fingers, shaking
magnets grabbin electrons jumpin photons
out of my mind.

they really are cool
you don't have to worry about little monsters leaving on the flashlight and draining the batteries, you just make them shake em, and they see how much energy is needed to light the way.

 

[eagleyez]

have you seen (and felt) the ones you shake shake shake
to generate the electricity to light the bulbs?
This is not a poem.
I do not feel this coming from my soul
just the tips of my fingers, shaking
magnets grabbin electrons jumpin photons
out of my mind.

they really are cool
you don't have to worry about little monsters leaving on the flashlight and draining the batteries, you just make them shake em, and they see how much energy is needed to light the way.

Sounds like the old watches that you "wound" by shaking them.

Cant say as I have, but can relate to the little ones leaving them on under the bed.

Flat as a pancake by morning.

*this is not a poem, either."

 

[DeepAsleep]

d'u mean "...off to barber"?

No, I meant 'off to fuck you.' Pack your bags and move away from me.

~~~~~~~

Slowly getting things back to smooth with the girl. It's been a rocky couple of weeks and she's only just moved away from her husband. The heinlein quote about how there's 'only one way to console a widow' comes flitting into my brain, but it's too early for that shit. Besides, as my brain sheds sleep and the rice kicks in, something tells me that a girl who celebrates moving away from her husband by coming to my house with two twelve packs (one beer, one condoms) prrrrrobably doesn't require much in the way of actual consolation. Unless you consider the fact that she's celebrating with me, of course. Hah, self deprecation. I love you.

She forgot her hair straightener, when she packed her 'getting ready at your house, tonight!' luggage and when she let her hair out of the bun a the end of the night, I found out it was lightly curly. I feel robbed of watching her hair bounce and be all cute. Though, I can understand her wanting to avoid looking any more like Velma from Scooby Doo than she already does. It's bad enough I chase her around screaming, "Jinkies!" as often as I do. Albeit, she's a sexy looking little thing, in a way that....... Yeah. I just don't get it. She spends so much time getting ready, straightening her hair, getting her makeup just so... And I just throw on a t-shirt and run wrinkled out the door. I guess I'd like it if she felt a little more comfortable in her own skin. You can only reassure someone that they're beautiful (And she is absofuckin'lutely gorgeous - I'm a lucky bastard) so many times before it gets a little exasperating, but... Meh. Her therapist says I am good for her self-esteem. And she has been a little more confident, lately. Little steps.

Days off are over, and I did accomplish some laundry, which I am glad of. Next is a bachelor sized load of dishes and making the stray get a goddam job. She's been asleep on my couch for eighteen hours, by my estimation and I wanna know how that's possible. No one brings drugs into my house without my permission and if this bitch is done up on downers, I'm going to give her a Johnny Walker enema.

Yes, that's lethal. No, I wouldn't recommend it.

Days off are a sick joke when you work overnights. You think you're free to rejoin the rest of the world for a little while, but you're really not. To be active during the rest of the day, you've got to sacrifice sleep, somewhere, and god help you running a day full of errands, or you've either got to sleep through the evening (the fun part of the day) or stay up and be crack-eyed and either way, you screw your sleep schedule up until it's the day you've got to work and you're up six hours before you're supposed to be, eyeing the sleeping pills and wondering if it's worth the risk, just so you won't be tired mid-shift.

I need a new job and the rest of my college education. This driving a forklift in a freezer shit's got to stop. Haha, waste of potential! Just got to hold out for profit sharing. 2000 reasons to wait a couple more months. Is it worth the disconnection? Probably not.

Shit happens.

~Ross

 

[Guest]

o neo's AV

how I am admiring your bones, the slope
ofyour jaw the lines of your lips
the piecing, I want to touch your face
feel the place where your poetry is born,
beneath the skin and blush, the rush
of words from brain to fingertips

I reallywant to touch your face

Big flirt

 

[DeepAsleep]

We played pool all night, that time at the bar. Seven guys sitting around drinking pitcher beer and I'm the quiet one, for a change, looking over my shoulder and wondering if I should be heading home instead of back to the bar for a fresh one.

I talked to Jewel on the phone for the last time, that night, before I dropped my cell plan and decided I didn't want to be leashed. She calls me her brother and if my heart's a pistol, then hers is a hand-grenade and with my finger on the pin and hers on the trigger, we're back to back with a cardial arsenal against the world. I love it when she calls me cowboy.

And I'm a little cowboy, at heart. There's something deep, dark and midwestern in me that likes that I'll inherit land and likes that I want a family and kids.

The rest of me wants a beer and a band and sometimes (Oh, God, I'm gonna tell you this) a zen temple. (www.prairiewindzen.org) Ideological self-war! I am more than the sum of my self, and I am less. Fuck you!

I miss those nights that are only months behind me, because everything was simple, then. Shooting pool with one hand and a phone in the other, not paying attention and sinking shot after shot - dumb luck, only dumb luck - but it felt like fucking magic. I miss my Jewel and her daisy teeth that bite my poems and leave them better. I miss my sister.

Gotta get a phone.

 

[Guest]

2.

For some reason I write blog entries and then delete them - a bit like I do with my poetry.

 

[Tzara]

Woke up at 2 AM today. Insomnia—it's what was dinner. Or maybe not.

Walked around like Hamlet's father for a couple hours—barefoot, to cool myself down so I could sleep. Read Rilke and Euripedes. Should have been soporific, but wasn't.

Once back in bed, I slept until 8:15. Groggy all day.

 

[Rybka]

It was wet all day
no squirrels, cats, nor crows
Rain melts snow in puddles to freeze
tonight after twilight temperature
drops below slipperiness
mush with dog lead
around legs at eleven.

I feel old and ugly
alone in woods of winterness
wild brambles and naked vines
leafless except for beech
and needles of pine and spruce
I grouse but none were there
where Lucy went.

I worry about her fate when
she has howled for days
to be let out
or be fed
after I am gone
and two days dead

~30~

 

[duckiesmut]

I attended a ‘refresher’ course yesterday on labor/interviewing/scheduling. We are recently finishing up a series of ‘refresher’ courses that the upper management has decided direly needed completing. (The sentence prior to this parenthetical thought is one of those where one can string four words together and just giggle at their semi-nonsensical nature.) All of the fifty-ish (in number, not age) supervisors in this market have been required to attend these courses, and be refreshed. *cough, cough*

A key fact that would have made these courses more stimulating, educational, and …well…useful would have been a teacher who could impart more pearls of wisdom than just ‘page three, bullet point three reads…’. (Monster run-on.)

Such is life.

If I were a certain monkey, I would have brought beer.

 

[DeepAsleep]

I attended a ‘refresher’ course yesterday on labor/interviewing/scheduling. We are recently finishing up a series of ‘refresher’ courses that the upper management has decided direly needed completing. (The sentence prior to this parenthetical thought is one of those where one can string four words together and just giggle at their semi-nonsensical nature.) All of the fifty-ish (in number, not age) supervisors in this market have been required to attend these courses, and be refreshed. *cough, cough*

A key fact that would have made these courses more stimulating, educational, and …well…useful would have been a teacher who could impart more pearls of wisdom than just ‘page three, bullet point three reads…’. (Monster run-on.)

Such is life.

If I were a certain monkey, I would have brought beer.

I'd loan you my flask fulla scotch...

 

[duckiesmut]

Yes, please.


hides my straightener, just in case

 

[DeepAsleep]

Yes, please.


hides my straightener, just in case

You don't have to hide it. I won't steal it or break it.

But, yeah, I'd totally give you my flask.

 

[Tathagata]

Doctor visit
he reminds me that I've " dodged a bullet" ( ie: I should be dead) and tells me I should lose some weight because " how many times can you go to the well?"
I refrain from telling him that death is a gnat on my ass ( for you eve) and that I didn't " dodge' anything it just wasn't my time.
he asks about the colitis and recommends me seeing a gastro guy " It will save you a rectal exam today'
i say
" No it will save YOU from a rectal exam today"
he laughs.
His name is O'Brien
I like him
I like his secretary Lynn even more, she brings me a johnny and keeps having to pull the shoulder of her sweater up because its showing me a brown slip strap and a lavender bra strap
I don't mention my testosterone levels.
I think about her giving me a rectal exam

I have blood drawn by a hot little number with a pierced lip
when she nails my hard to find vein on the first time i compliment her
she winks at me
I think she may be a vampire


I come home and break out the absinthe and put on strange music
You have to love a song called ' senegal fast food" sung in both french and arabic to a reggae beat.

Insomnia is back and there are several reasons
it will pass everything does
meanwhile i watch iron chef at 3 am and think about a girl in California
i compose poems in my head and get up at 4 am to write them down
i read them at 7 and realize i'm a hack
if i could get paid for surfing porn i'd be a millionaire
maybe i should write a poem about that.

I'm convinced rachel ray says strangely obscene things on purpose
ex: " you don't want your meat shrinking"
" I just love to butter my muffin"
or maybe its just me.


apparently I will be watching the Superbowl with a racist alcoholic ex boston cop who is a friend of my father in laws
i threw him out of the house once for being ' disgusted' that I had a black guy there for a party
The little monkey in me thinks having a few beers and a sardonic attitude will make it a fun day
Of course I also want to do his wife so...if he leaves she leaves

Life....it's a bitch


ps to Duckie:
beer is no good for a meeting
hard liquor produces the proper attitude in half the time

pss I haven't forgotten the audio poem

 

[duckiesmut]

You don't have to hide it. I won't steal it or break it.

But, yeah, I'd totally give you my flask.

I'd give it back (eventually).

ps to Duckie:
beer is no good for a meeting
hard liquor produces the proper attitude in half the time

Note to self...liquor. Must have liquor. That flask'll come in handy.

pss I haven't forgotten the audio poem

Good monkey.

 

[annaswirls]

I know blogs are not meant to be critiqued, but I have to gush a little bit:


This is my favorite thing I have read of yours.

beautiful. REAL. so human these worries, you led us right to them

I love it.

It was wet all day
no squirrels, cats, nor crows
Rain melts snow in puddles to freeze
tonight after twilight temperature
drops below slipperiness
mush with dog lead
around legs at eleven.

I feel old and ugly
alone in woods of winterness
wild brambles and naked vines
leafless except for beech
and needles of pine and spruce
I grouse but none were there
where Lucy went.

I worry about her fate when
she has howled for days
to be let out
or be fed
after I am gone
and two days dead

~30~

 

[Man Ray]

Yesterday was a good day, a day off from the rigours of trying to look busy in work. So what did I do? Well, I worked in the garden, feeding the birds and planning this years planting. Then I had lunch with my two cats, Soxsie and Nurgle. Not much conversation but pleasant company all the same.

After lunch I knuckled down to painting an Indian elephant. The struggle is to find the right colour, are they brown of grey? Personally I choose shades of grey but I have seen debates on the subject which have almost led to fisticuffs! We wargamers / painters are a strange bunch!

Later I went to the gym and worked like a demon to shed the `winter` pounds that have crept up on me due to laziness at said gym plus a liking for fish, chips and mushy peas didn't help! Still, my loyal gym buddies, Hendrix, The Doors and The Stranglers make me work that bit harder as their music floods my senses. I did try listening to David Sylvian at the gym but his music is more in tune with relaxing and contemplating life and love so he now stays at home.

In the evening it was a choice between `An Affair to Remember` or `Cross of Iron` as viewing pleasure? And guess what? I lost and my choice of film was left on the shelf...again! But don't tell anyone but I actually like `An Affair to Remember` so what do you think? Am I gay?


ps I'm not... ...just for the record!

 

[Maria2394]

Wwit???