Lit blog

[champagne1982]

nj, you have your pm's off so I have sent you a note on editred. Good thoughts are headed your way. Be easy.

 

[normal jean]

................

 

[Guest]

.........

 

[tungtied2u]

i love you guys. thanks for caring, my meds arent working and hubby made me realize that last night, so i am going to the hospital so that they can adjust my dosage or whatever they do. im sorry for spilling in here.

It's good to see you this morning.

 

[champagne1982]

i love you guys.<snip>. im sorry for spilling in here.

Never apologize for things beyond your control. It's like telling a diabetic they shouldn't go hypoglycemic or a hound not to bay. I'm glad you're here.

 

[Homburg]

I walked on the beach yesterday. The wind was turbulent and fierce, and little bits of mother ocean leapt to meet me. The sand felt good on my skin, even when the wind tossed it hard enough to sting. It was good to be there, good to humbled. Mountains rise above, loom in their majesty, and my heart will always be there, but the ocean quiets me. Vast, impenetrable, and a fear that I acknowledge even in the brightest of days. Some day I fear that mother ocean will reclaim me. Being at her side helps me deal with that fear, and also to remember that I am not god in my own solipsist existence. I can't be god because this thing, this susurrating hungry mass, is so much greater than myself. And she moves, chtonic and uncaring.

Some days I need that reminder. I am human. I am small. And there are things out there that would crush me without mercy.

--

Hugs to Normal Jean. I hope things smooth out for you.

 

[Angeline]

i love you guys. thanks for caring, my meds arent working and hubby made me realize that last night, so i am going to the hospital so that they can adjust my dosage or whatever they do. im sorry for spilling in here.

Vaya con Dios, mi paloma.

 

[Senna Jawa]

i know life is precious, and i know i should appreciate every breath i take, but i feel so abandoned.

Dear Maria (NJ), world is but chaos, nonsensical chaos. But there is no chaos without flukes. Some are persistent. Some are Evil, some are Good - that's our perception. And in all this nonsense we live for the sake of the beautiful flukes, which make life worthwhile.

Best regards to you, get well,

Wlodek
​

 

[champagne1982]

<snip> there is no chaos without flukes. Some are persistent. Some are Evil, some are Good - that's our perception. And in all this nonsense we live for the sake of the beautiful flukes, which make life worthwhile.

Wlodek
​

That is a joyous thought, to live a life of beautiful flukes. Beats the heck out of awful mistakes, doesn't it?

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Magical night! In New York for the performance of a series of one acts which, through a series of odd accidents, included my little poem Grab Bag, and I met people with whom I'd only conversed online. It's so lovely to meet folks one feels close to and to discover one was right to feel that way. AND I got to shake hands with The Countess who performed my poem at the Neighborhood Playhouse on 54th. Schmoozed with a film director, rubbed elbows with Tina Louise (yep THE Tina Louise!) Which is all huge stuff for a simple gal like me.

I'm completely exhausted but so, so happy! Thank you, Literotica, and to Eluard for that 5-5 thread.

 

[Eluard]

Sounds like you had a really terrific time PG. You're moving up in the world! Don't forget us when you're famous!

 

[Anschul]

Magical night! In New York for the performance of a series of one acts which, through a series of odd accidents, included my little poem Grab Bag, and I met people with whom I'd only conversed online. It's so lovely to meet folks one feels close to and to discover one was right to feel that way. AND I got to shake hands with The Countess who performed my poem at the Neighborhood Playhouse on 54th. Schmoozed with a film director, rubbed elbows with Tina Louise (yep THE Tina Louise!) Which is all huge stuff for a simple gal like me.

I'm completely exhausted but so, so happy! Thank you, Literotica, and to Eluard for that 5-5 thread.

Tina Louise??? OMG!!!! Ginger???

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Hah, Eluard, not a chance of either probably. It was just happy accident that the bloke I wrote that poem for had a friend with a sister who was a producer. Even though it was pretty negative, turns out the guy was flattered to have a poem written about him.

And yes, A., Ginger! And she's still gorgeous.

 

[Anschul]

Hah, Eluard, not a chance of either probably. It was just happy accident that the bloke I wrote that poem for had a friend with a sister who was a producer. Even though it was pretty negative, turns out the guy was flattered to have a poem written about him.

And yes, A., Ginger! And she's still gorgeous.

God, I was always a Ginger guy! MaryAnne was too nice for a guy like me!

 

[LeBroz]

Job Scams

.
.

One of my ground rules is that if it almost sounds too good to be true, I'm about to get royally fucked. Which is why I never responded to the unsolicited job offers that began to appear in my e-mail in early February. Some had stilted English, some sounded almost respectable and lucrative with excellent English, at least one even referenced my resumé at careerbuilder.com — an easy red flag as I've never posted my resumé there. Today's e-mail had a new offer from MBC Co. with English so bad it was ludicrous. So I turned to my good friend Google and found this new posting about job scams, with the same e-mail reproduced in full. I researched further and found that this type of scam has been ongoing for at least 6 years. If someone responds to this type of 'job offer' it sounds that, at best, they'd be a low level pawn in criminal activity and, at worst, end up having their bank account sucked dry.

Consider the alternatives — unemployed and fighting to make ends meet, hanging on by your fingertips or, taking one of these 'jobs' and taking on the FTC, FBI, Homeland Security, etc.

.
.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Two shots short of a latte grande.

How to Amuse Yourself with Bijou's Caffeine Dependence


First, make sure I have fewer shots than usual in my morning cuppa. (Five is standard).

Make sure there's a hidden camera installed in the shop. Then, buy me a smoothie from the local fruit-hippie place.

Here's the key: Don't tell me that there are large cracks in the straw.

When the smoothie gets down below the holes in the straw, I will become terribly bewildered for at least half an hour. There's a bit of time pressure that will make this especially amusing, because the smoothie is now melting and I can't seem to get anything but air through the straw. This will completely preoccupy me, and elicit some really creative and bewildered profanity. It will take me a really tragically long time to think of examining the straw, which although it is cracked will not show any obvious holes, since it is red and covered with red fruit.

Eventually, after about half an hour of struggle, I will figure it out. Then you can have the second chapter of the amusement when you watch me rummage around in drawers until I find the packing tape, suck the excess out of the straw, and miss some drops which fall onto the keyboard and have to be cleaned up with the tail of my shirt.

I'm really not good with tape. A five-year-old has more mastery over a roll of tape than I do. So eventually, after more struggle and highly nautical profanity, the straw will be a mass of mashed "FRAGILE" packing tape, three layers thick in some places.

Then you can watch me try, unsuccessfully, to fit it back through the little hole in the lid. Why is it important that I put the lid back on? I don't know. Eventually I will give up on this, throw the lid in the trash, miss, and rummage around for paper towels to clean the fruit smoothie mess off the carpet.

All in all, this whole project, with very little effort, should net you about an hour and a half of vast amusement.

And don't ask me why I didn't just give up and drink the smoothie without a straw. Because I don't know. Just shut up and go get me a proper latte with five shots like I told you to in the first place.

 

[Eluard]

How to Amuse Yourself with Bijou's Caffeine Dependence


First, make sure I have fewer shots than usual in my morning cuppa. (Five is standard).

Make sure there's a hidden camera installed in the shop. Then, buy me a smoothie from the local fruit-hippie place.

Here's the key: Don't tell me that there are large cracks in the straw.

When the smoothie gets down below the holes in the straw, I will become terribly bewildered for at least half an hour. There's a bit of time pressure that will make this especially amusing, because the smoothie is now melting and I can't seem to get anything but air through the straw. This will completely preoccupy me, and elicit some really creative and bewildered profanity. It will take me a really tragically long time to think of examining the straw, which although it is cracked will not show any obvious holes, since it is red and covered with red fruit.

Eventually, after about half an hour of struggle, I will figure it out. Then you can have the second chapter of the amusement when you watch me rummage around in drawers until I find the packing tape, suck the excess out of the straw, and miss some drops which fall onto the keyboard and have to be cleaned up with the tail of my shirt.

I'm really not good with tape. A five-year-old has more mastery over a roll of tape than I do. So eventually, after more struggle and highly nautical profanity, the straw will be a mass of mashed "FRAGILE" packing tape, three layers thick in some places.

Then you can watch me try, unsuccessfully, to fit it back through the little hole in the lid. Why is it important that I put the lid back on? I don't know. Eventually I will give up on this, throw the lid in the trash, miss, and rummage around for paper towels to clean the fruit smoothie mess off the carpet.

All in all, this whole project, with very little effort, should net you about an hour and a half of vast amusement.

And don't ask me why I didn't just give up and drink the smoothie without a straw. Because I don't know. Just shut up and go get me a proper latte with five shots like I told you to in the first place.

This is hilarious — silent comedy at its best! I'm saving this to favourites — or sumpin'.

(Coffee really is very good for the brain! 'Sbeen proved recently.)

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Then there was the morning I nearly poured the entire decanter of coffee into the milk jug.

Somewhere in my brain there was this tiny voice that pointed out that the hole I was aiming for was way too small to be a coffee cup.

I'd tell you that it only happened once. But I'd be lying.

 

[Eluard]

Then there was the morning I nearly poured the entire decanter of coffee into the milk jug.

Somewhere in my brain there was this tiny voice that pointed out that the hole I was aiming for was way too small to be a coffee cup.

I'd tell you that it only happened once. But I'd be lying.

There should actually be a coffee and creativity thread — incorporating a "no-coffee and dumb-ass thread" — because I swear that the older I get the more I absolutely NEED two cups of really strong espresso even to function on a human level. Three espressos and I'm good for the entire day.

 

[tungtied2u]

There should actually be a coffee and creativity thread — incorporating a "no-coffee and dumb-ass thread" — because I swear that the older I get the more I absolutely NEED two cups of really strong espresso even to function on a human level. Three espressos and I'm good for the entire day.

Sure El, it's the lack of coffee. Have you ever done this one ? Looking for your glasses when you're wearing them. I don't know if lack of coffee can cover for that one....

 

[Eluard]

Sure El, it's the lack of coffee. Have you ever done this one ? Looking for your glasses when you're wearing them. I don't know if lack of coffee can cover for that one....

Yeah, you'reright you'reright, but I'm going to continue to blame it on the lack of coffee. Never done that thing with glasses, no, but there have been plenty of times that I've been looking for something that is *right there* in front of me. (I swear God censors vision periodically for a joke.)

 

[unpredictablebijou]

We have a tradition in our household, called "Coffee Names."

It assumes that one is basically a different person before coffee and must be treated differently and have a separate set of interpersonal guidelines.

Round my house, they call me "Dick" in the morning. Dick is to be treated very gently. One does not try to discuss politics, money or schedules with Dick. Dick is also no longer allowed to get on line, after some Really Bad Things happened a few years back.

It's well known to the whole family. The other day my father called around noon, needing to talk a bout some property tax details. He actually said, "Are you still Dick? You wanna get some coffee before we talk?"

The mates are Melvin and Ivan. Melvin is moody and petulant and must be plied with fruit juice. Ivan is argumentative, overly verbose and cannot be reasoned with.

They have found it best to leave the coffeemaker set up so that only a single button needs to be pushed. Dick tends to get coffee grounds all over the floor, or put water into the wrong place, or forget to stick the pot back into the machine.

Many of our friends have picked up this technique and say that it makes their households more peaceful. My shop co-owner is "Gunther" and her coffee is shoved toward her with a long stick, from a safe distance. A friend of my father's has named himself "Happy Ted". His long-suffering wife is "Trudy" in the morning.

There was talk of a "Dick and Gunther in the Morning" radio show for a while, until it was pointed out that the FCC would never stand for it.

 

[Homburg]

And don't ask me why I didn't just give up and drink the fucking smoothie without a straw. Because I don't fucking know. Just shut the fuck up and go get me a proper fucking latte with five fucking shots like I fucking told you to in the first fucking place.

Dickspeak?

 

[Eluard]

We have a tradition in our household, called "Coffee Names."

It assumes that one is basically a different person before coffee and must be treated differently and have a separate set of interpersonal guidelines.

Round my house, they call me "Dick" in the morning. Dick is to be treated very gently. One does not try to discuss politics, money or schedules with Dick. Dick is also no longer allowed to get on line, after some Really Bad Things happened a few years back.

It's well known to the whole family. The other day my father called around noon, needing to talk a bout some property tax details. He actually said, "Are you still Dick? You wanna get some coffee before we talk?"

The mates are Melvin and Ivan. Melvin is moody and petulant and must be plied with fruit juice. Ivan is argumentative, overly verbose and cannot be reasoned with.

They have found it best to leave the coffeemaker set up so that only a single button needs to be pushed. Dick tends to get coffee grounds all over the floor, or put water into the wrong place, or forget to stick the pot back into the machine.

Many of our friends have picked up this technique and say that it makes their households more peaceful. My shop co-owner is "Gunther" and her coffee is shoved toward her with a long stick, from a safe distance. A friend of my father's has named himself "Happy Ted". His long-suffering wife is "Trudy" in the morning.

There was talk of a "Dick and Gunther in the Morning" radio show for a while, until it was pointed out that the FCC would never stand for it.

I really think you need to move to an espresso machine if you are currently using drip.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Dickspeak?

*laughing really loud*

yup. thanks for the edit.

I really think you need to move to an espresso machine if you are currently using drip.

oh sure. and the first time the boys forget to put it together for me I'll blow up the kitchen.

We actually have a small espresso maker. Dick is not allowed to interact with it.

eta: Dick is entirely too amused and fascinated with the espresso maker's "Perfect Froth Attachment."