Longest time without sex??

[celiaKitten]

Amen

I'll agree to that statement Pagan..

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: UGH, its been so long....please tell me its like riding a bike

I had to pick a decade because it has been 8yrs...closest to that than 5yrs

It has been interesting to me to note that I am not the only one that has gone for years without sex.

I really should work up a web page and write a little Java app to collect interesting stats like this. I found one survey result where they classified the age of loss of virginity by country (17-18 seems to be average). I think 'net surveys my actually may be better than some other forms of surveys (phone, face to face) for sex related questions due to their anonymity.

No physical intercourse for that long, however have had some oral sex, and always masturbation.

It would be interesting to break out oral sex from intercourse, but I think the former does qualify as sex - it can certainly be as gratifying as intercourse, and probably does help many people with satisfying their sex drive.

I am pretty sure my weight is 1 reason that keeps guys away: 5'2" 170lbs. In reality looks are impt no matter what people say that it shouldnt matter.

I agree - there has to be a physical attraction for most people, and while it may make someone feel better to say looks aren't important, that, in my book, is being dishonest with someone. It is very important to be tactful about appearance, yet more important to be honest.

A well adjusted person, regardless of their looks, will be secure enough with themselves to be able to handle such situations. I am not a Rob Lowe, I don't have washboard abs, and I don't begrudge a woman who needs that from looking elsewhere. If a person needs a certain type of physical attraction then by all means that is what they should go for - anything else is denying human nature and it will come up sooner or later.

Of course, on the other hand, for me, a person could have the most physically attractive and their mind/personality/attitude can just turn me right off.

I think and have been told I have very nice breasts and very pretty face, but I find in reality the way someone's body is is definitely at the top of the list of importance for men.

I don't know about top of the list, but some attraction has to be there - after all most romantic relationships have some sexual connotation to them, and physical appearance is an important part of that - it is just human nature.

I personally do not need a woman to have a super model's body for me to be attracted to her (actually many of them are flat out too skinny), but on the other hand I have no physical attraction to someone who looks like that woman on the Drew Carey show (I don't really watch it, so I don't know her name). Maybe it is cultural (although studies indicate against it) or physical, but whether I can help it or not, I am not attracted to that body. Sure the person may be really nice, but if I wanted a platonic relationship I would get a puppy dog. I already have women freinds that I have platonic relationships with, I want a romantic relationship, and that entails sex, and that entails some physical attraction.

I do think there has to be some type of attraction, but there is def more ways to be attracted to someone than just their body

Absolutely. As I said, I need a nice personality/attitude/mind - I could pick up on my friend's ex if I wanted to - she has a nice body, but her mind just turns me off (not very smart, and she thinks that at one time she was abducted by aliens).

I also have some weird way of looking at intercourse where love is needed. I am a consummate "nice girl" (raised catholic by strong mother--she def did her job well... boo hoo). Odd tho, I am very kinky and open to all sorts of new sexual things, and dont need love for that....just intercourse (I am sooo weird).

We all have our ways of drawing the line - my ex would have casual intercourse, but if she wasn't in love she wouldn't kiss (sometimes).

Looking for anonymous sex, feel-good no strings attached sex, (well maybe scarves... ) without anything more, no expectations of being called for a date, or getting too personal. Does that sound really slutty?

By the strict definition of the word - maybe yes. But "slutty" has such a strong negative connotation to it - that I wouldn't use it except for someone who was being unfaithful.

So in my opinion, no, it isn't slutty - just casual sex. Having had some bad experiences with casual sex (two different women who were trying to get pregnant by me, both to marry me, one to cause her husband to divorce her) I make a rule not to engage in it. When I was young and foolish I had casual sex, but the costs were too high so I discontinued that practice.

STG

 

[luv2tvl69]

Shy Tall Guy

Thank you for such honest and straightforward feedback and comment. its rare... I appreciate such candor.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: Shy Tall Guy

Thank you for such honest and straightforward feedback and comment. its rare...

I understand why people say some less than totally honest things to make others feel better about themselves (although I think sometimes that may be harmful in the long run) - being brutally honest can be very hurtful, and it is very important to be tactful - but I usually just can't tell an total untruth to someone just to make them feel better. In most cases I just keep my mouth shut rather than say something hurtful - honesty does not mean you have to point out every little flaw, or even the big ones. And what may seem to be a flaw to me is someone else's attraction - for the most part who am I to judge?

However, if I am going to develop an intimate relationship with someone, I think it is very important to be as honest as possible with them as I can. If I do not find someone physically attractive and the goal is a romantic relationship, this is going to come up sooner or later. Feelings may get hurt, but sooner is better than later in this regard.

I read one fantasy story here on Lit where the writer fantasized about two people meeting online, lying about their weight/size as much smaller, then meeting in a restaurant and finding they were both significantly overweight and they lived happily ever after. Yeah right.

I do not really understand people who intentionally fake their appearance (such as the guy who used a male model's photo as his personal photo) or other attributes (personality, age, wealth, whatever). I understand why they do it - I just don't understand how they think they will get away with it; sooner or later, if they want a RL relationship, they are going to have to be honest and fess up that they were being untruthful.

Dishonesty is not a good basis for a relationship, not even one where the dishonesty is never revealed. And being upfront at the beginning (with tact) is better than putting it off - omittng some issue until later in the hopes that it won't be important is not only being dishonest with the other person, it is being dishonest with yourself. If it isn't that important then it won't really be an issue regardless of timing, but it might be and it should be broached early on if it could be an issue. That way expectations on both sides don't get built up and feelings hurt - or at least to a lesser degree.

Maybe the dishonesty is not intentional, maybe they don't even know they are doing it, but it isn't going to help, and it is most likely going to hurt.

I appreciate such candor.

Thanks. Sometimes I get into trouble when I am not tactful enough; I say something before I think about it, or I say the wrong thing without picking up the signals that someone is sensitive to something.

STG