Lost Babygirl

[rulickable]

Hello everyone...this is a really hard post to make but I didn't want to disappear without an explanation. Well so many people have said that I look so sad in my pictures, and I haven't been shy to talk about my issues with depression. Unfortunately, I know now that my past sexual abuse has done more damage to me than I wanted to admit. It's the reason why I have been so self destructive in the past and it explains my hyper sexuality. Most of the time that I want to have sex, it's because I want to feel safe, comforted and loved. Not for pleasure. I want to feel a connection.

Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I've had risky sex in the past and I suspect now that I may have contracted something (I have a tiny bump on my labia that hasn't gone away for a month). Initially I felt angry at myself but now I see that I have been hurting so much because of these traumatic events and it has affected my life in every way. I have changed so much in the past two months for the better. I am being more positive, meditating, reading more than ever, being in the present moment. Dealing with these negative emotions that I've shunned for most of my life and replaced with meaningless casual sex, alcohol, food and shopping.

It makes me really sad that such an intimate, lovely experience has been forever ruined and tainted for me. Thankfully I am seeing my therapist next week and I will tell her all of this. But I think it's best for me to be done with this hyper sexual image of myself that isn't the true me. I am very philosophical, intellectual, and compassionate. I have more to give to the world than just sex. I am going to have this bump checked out. I'm going to focus on writing other genres. I am not sex negative now but I guess I feel enlightened, in a way. My mind's in other places besides carnal, base desires.

I deleted a bunch of profiles online and I'm going to focus on my healing and recovery, which will probably be lifelong. But I want to help others in any way that I can. I see how strong I am now and I want to keep going. I've met so many kind, lovely people on here and I will poke my head in here once while to see how everyone is doing.

Love,

Luna/Raven.

You will be sorely missed beautiful.

 

[Planetbeat1]

Agreed, you will be missed, but we all understand I am sure and wish you nothing but happiness dear Luna xxx

 

[THE_UNDERTAKER]

Hello everyone...this is a really hard post to make but I didn't want to disappear without an explanation. Well so many people have said that I look so sad in my pictures, and I haven't been shy to talk about my issues with depression. Unfortunately, I know now that my past sexual abuse has done more damage to me than I wanted to admit. It's the reason why I have been so self destructive in the past and it explains my hyper sexuality. Most of the time that I want to have sex, it's because I want to feel safe, comforted and loved. Not for pleasure. I want to feel a connection.

Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I've had risky sex in the past and I suspect now that I may have contracted something (I have a tiny bump on my labia that hasn't gone away for a month). Initially I felt angry at myself but now I see that I have been hurting so much because of these traumatic events and it has affected my life in every way. I have changed so much in the past two months for the better. I am being more positive, meditating, reading more than ever, being in the present moment. Dealing with these negative emotions that I've shunned for most of my life and replaced with meaningless casual sex, alcohol, food and shopping.

It makes me really sad that such an intimate, lovely experience has been forever ruined and tainted for me. Thankfully I am seeing my therapist next week and I will tell her all of this. But I think it's best for me to be done with this hyper sexual image of myself that isn't the true me. I am very philosophical, intellectual, and compassionate. I have more to give to the world than just sex. I am going to have this bump checked out. I'm going to focus on writing other genres. I am not sex negative now but I guess I feel enlightened, in a way. My mind's in other places besides carnal, base desires.

I deleted a bunch of profiles online and I'm going to focus on my healing and recovery, which will probably be lifelong. But I want to help others in any way that I can. I see how strong I am now and I want to keep going. I've met so many kind, lovely people on here and I will poke my head in here once while to see how everyone is doing.

Love,

Luna/Raven.

WISE DECISION, GOOD LUCKY.

 

[knuts1]

LBG I hope with all my Hart you find happiness in your life and and are able to come back from time to time to visit!!

 

[gentlemanlydark]

You are truly, such a couragous person LBG. *wishing you happiness*

Been here a short time - but I know you will be missed by so many *hugs* take care

 

[shypassionguy]

Hello everyone...this is a really hard post to make but I didn't want to disappear without an explanation. Well so many people have said that I look so sad in my pictures, and I haven't been shy to talk about my issues with depression. Unfortunately, I know now that my past sexual abuse has done more damage to me than I wanted to admit. It's the reason why I have been so self destructive in the past and it explains my hyper sexuality. Most of the time that I want to have sex, it's because I want to feel safe, comforted and loved. Not for pleasure. I want to feel a connection.

Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I've had risky sex in the past and I suspect now that I may have contracted something (I have a tiny bump on my labia that hasn't gone away for a month). Initially I felt angry at myself but now I see that I have been hurting so much because of these traumatic events and it has affected my life in every way. I have changed so much in the past two months for the better. I am being more positive, meditating, reading more than ever, being in the present moment. Dealing with these negative emotions that I've shunned for most of my life and replaced with meaningless casual sex, alcohol, food and shopping.

It makes me really sad that such an intimate, lovely experience has been forever ruined and tainted for me. Thankfully I am seeing my therapist next week and I will tell her all of this. But I think it's best for me to be done with this hyper sexual image of myself that isn't the true me. I am very philosophical, intellectual, and compassionate. I have more to give to the world than just sex. I am going to have this bump checked out. I'm going to focus on writing other genres. I am not sex negative now but I guess I feel enlightened, in a way. My mind's in other places besides carnal, base desires.

I deleted a bunch of profiles online and I'm going to focus on my healing and recovery, which will probably be lifelong. But I want to help others in any way that I can. I see how strong I am now and I want to keep going. I've met so many kind, lovely people on here and I will poke my head in here once while to see how everyone is doing.

Love,

Luna/Raven.

You're confronting a terrible, horrendous thing that was inflicted upon you without your consent. Something that important NEVER requires an apology, justification or explanation to any of us.

Thank you so much for sharing yourself on here in the way you did, and here's hoping your therapist can provide you with the help you're seeking. No matter what you've been conditioned to believe up to now, being sexually abused is NOT your fault, and does NOT reflect your worth as a human being. You have value far beyond how you appear to others in pictures. You are awesome, plain and simple.

Take care.

 

[Lowrider69]

Hello everyone...this is a really hard post to make but I didn't want to disappear without an explanation. Well so many people have said that I look so sad in my pictures, and I haven't been shy to talk about my issues with depression. Unfortunately, I know now that my past sexual abuse has done more damage to me than I wanted to admit. It's the reason why I have been so self destructive in the past and it explains my hyper sexuality. Most of the time that I want to have sex, it's because I want to feel safe, comforted and loved. Not for pleasure. I want to feel a connection.

Unfortunately, I'm ashamed to say that I've had risky sex in the past and I suspect now that I may have contracted something (I have a tiny bump on my labia that hasn't gone away for a month). Initially I felt angry at myself but now I see that I have been hurting so much because of these traumatic events and it has affected my life in every way. I have changed so much in the past two months for the better. I am being more positive, meditating, reading more than ever, being in the present moment. Dealing with these negative emotions that I've shunned for most of my life and replaced with meaningless casual sex, alcohol, food and shopping.

It makes me really sad that such an intimate, lovely experience has been forever ruined and tainted for me. Thankfully I am seeing my therapist next week and I will tell her all of this. But I think it's best for me to be done with this hyper sexual image of myself that isn't the true me. I am very philosophical, intellectual, and compassionate. I have more to give to the world than just sex. I am going to have this bump checked out. I'm going to focus on writing other genres. I am not sex negative now but I guess I feel enlightened, in a way. My mind's in other places besides carnal, base desires.

I deleted a bunch of profiles online and I'm going to focus on my healing and recovery, which will probably be lifelong. But I want to help others in any way that I can. I see how strong I am now and I want to keep going. I've met so many kind, lovely people on here and I will poke my head in here once while to see how everyone is doing.

Love,

Luna/Raven.

These are the ones that are Heart Breaking .. LBG .. Good Luck , Stay safe and know that You are Loved !