Make your reader climax in 200 words or less

[Laydia]

afternoon delight

Came home on my lunch break to find my boyfriend stretched out and napping on our bed.. Mmmm. I quietly slipped my shoes off, then my jeans and lastly my panties. I jumped up on the bed and straddled my guy, pushing his shirt far up his chest I began to kiss my way back down to his belt. I quickly unbuckled his belt ( he was starting to wake up) and his pants and dragged them down his hips to his knees. I began to lick and suck his cock, he really likes it when I suck hard on the tip.. He got hard quickly and I stuffed his cock into my wet pussy and began to pump him- straight up and down- the way he loves.. I could tell by the noises he was making he wasn't going to last long.. I continued to fuck him- watching his dick move in and out of me- getting wetter by the second. "Babe" he said in a strangled voice- "Cum for me" I demand.. I kept up the fast pace and felt him start to spurt inside me and that always makes me cum..

Have a great day!

 

[MichaelinChina]

The bus was crowded, standing room only, and as she gripped the same pole he was clasping, he allowed one finger to stroke one of hers. That's all it took, together with a knowing look in each other's eyes, for her to move closer and press her bare thigh insistently against his bulging erection. Simultaneously, his free hand crept between her thighs and he slid his middle finger along her heated slit, already nicely lubricated, and soaking her panties. He gasped in her ear and whispered "I want to fuck you." Deftly pulling her panties to one side so that his finger could slip inside her drenched lips to finger her, she leaned back into his chest, moaning softly, as she moved rhythmically against his hand...

126 words.

 

[MichaelinChina]

He's gone. Out of her life now. But his presence remains. His smiling photograph still lives beside her bed, and as she lies, warm under the quilt, alone in the half-light of morning, she wishes it was his hand instead of her own, that dips, down, down, between her thighs; his fingers not hers, that graze her clit as she slowly builds a rhythmic dance inside her pussy, getting herself more and more gloriously wet, loving the warmth that spreads throughout her body. She closes her eyes and pictures, clearly, his almond eyes peering up at her as his insistent tongue licks and whirls and drives and teases and swirls around and down and up her scorching cunt. She moans, both at the sensations she is producing and the fact he is absent, cursing him for leaving her, yet needing his strong, thick cock pummeling her pussy. As her orgasm builds, fragments of their fucking, like scenes from a film, appear in no particular order in her mind - his bottom, his balls, his broad back, his bulging biceps, his beautiful tongue and oh, his big cock - and, groaning, she gives in, once again, to her pleasure.

(197 words)

 

[ImogenBlake]

First attempt

Hi all, I have just joined the site and have not posted before but I thought I would test the water. This is an extract from the first chapter of my first book. I am 90,000 words (6 chapters in) and thoroughly enjoying writing it with a secret dream that one day it may be published. I have never shown anyone my writing and so would appreciate any feedback. Deep breathe here we go.

Her index finger already drawing tiny circles around her already hardened and ever tender clitoris. It was usually the tightening of her legs as she stretched them out, pointing her toes and building up the tension in her inner thighs that both roused and aroused her. She lifted her left hand to cup as much of her full breast as she could and slowly squeezed her nipple as she searched around her head for a suitable visual picture to just give her that little push over the edge. Imogen could feel the tightening starting to subside, no! She must find that image quick, ah, there he is, tall, broad, tanned and those bright green eyes, the man with no name, ah yes! She thought, the tension returning at full speed now. Imogen could feel the quivers of electricity fluttering down her legs and then her spine starting to arch and stretch, just a few more circles and yes, there it was, the total feeling of pure pleasure as she let out an almost silent moan which seemed to have come from the depths of her soul. Just this involuntary sound, with her whole body stretched so tight was enough and she shook with a thousand tiny little jitters joining together to rock her world. Oh bliss, just a little longer, she hung on to her visual picture as though her life depended on it and then it was gone. Gone until the next time leaving her laid on the bed heavy and languid, relaxed and at peace with the world.

Let me know what you think.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hi all, I have just joined the site and have not posted before but I thought I would test the water. This is an extract from the first chapter of my first book. I am 90,000 words (6 chapters in) and thoroughly enjoying writing it with a secret dream that one day it may be published. I have never shown anyone my writing and so would appreciate any feedback. Deep breathe here we go.

Her index finger already drawing tiny circles around her already hardened and ever tender clitoris. It was usually the tightening of her legs as she stretched them out, pointing her toes and building up the tension in her inner thighs that both roused and aroused her. She lifted her left hand to cup as much of her full breast as she could and slowly squeezed her nipple as she searched around her head for a suitable visual picture to just give her that little push over the edge. Imogen could feel the tightening starting to subside, no! She must find that image quick, ah, there he is, tall, broad, tanned and those bright green eyes, the man with no name, ah yes! She thought, the tension returning at full speed now. Imogen could feel the quivers of electricity fluttering down her legs and then her spine starting to arch and stretch, just a few more circles and yes, there it was, the total feeling of pure pleasure as she let out an almost silent moan which seemed to have come from the depths of her soul. Just this involuntary sound, with her whole body stretched so tight was enough and she shook with a thousand tiny little jitters joining together to rock her world. Oh bliss, just a little longer, she hung on to her visual picture as though her life depended on it and then it was gone. Gone until the next time leaving her laid on the bed heavy and languid, relaxed and at peace with the world.

Let me know what you think.

It sux.

 

[ImogenBlake]

James B Johnson

Thank you very much for your well spelled, educated opinion.
The content of your comment speaks volumes about your character.
I do hope I encounter other members with maybe just a little more to say on the constructive side.

 

[xelliebabex]

Taking her hand he pulled her with him into darkness. Spinning her quickly he pushed her to the wall his hand wrapping about her throat firmly. She gasped her eyes blinking in the darkness as he held her immobile, she felt him move closer pinning her with his body and she tilted her head up straining to see if he was angry with her. His mouth descended upon hers kissing her deeply, passionately taking her breath away. "So beautiful," picking her up and moving swiftly into the dark room, he draped her over the back of a lounge chair her ass high as his hand crashed onto it making her cry out into the darkness.

Moving against her, his hardening cock nestling in the groove of her ass as his hands ran the length of her body pushing her dress up until it crumpled around her shoulders holding her arms in place. The darkness of the room enveloped her heightening her other senses as he stroked, teased and smacked her increasingly heated body. Her hips rolled begging for more. He stepped back one hand loosening his belt and pants. She gasped her eyes flaring wide in the darkness as she felt him, her hot aroused state making her need him, eager to know how it would feel to finally be fucked by this Master.

 

[runningonblade]

I just want you guys to know that the story that I'm answering this challenge with happens to be a sexual fantasy one.
------
It began on my first day on the job as a plumber for Roto-Rooter in Berea, Ohio when this woman whose name happens to be Denice had called to get her toilet unclogged.

While my partner was busy with puting the finishing touches on the job, I went downstairs to see if she had any more work for us to do.

That was before I took a peek and saw her laying naked on the living room sofa and fingering herself while she was watching an X-rated movie on the TV set entitled Sex Asylum Four starring Christy Canyon.

That made me unzip my pants and start jerking off while she was watching this one scene with Christy and two of her co-stars Ashley Nicole and Blake Palmer fucking each other's brains out.

As the film got to its final scene, Denice and I had masturbated ourselves until we were finally able to cum.

That was when I heard Denice say, "Who is in there? What do you want?", which made me zip up my pants and haul my ass back upstairs to see that my partner had already got the job done in time to get out of there.

 

[BackroomLover]

Hi all, I have just joined the site and have not posted before but I thought I would test the water. This is an extract from the first chapter of my first book. I am 90,000 words (6 chapters in) and thoroughly enjoying writing it with a secret dream that one day it may be published. I have never shown anyone my writing and so would appreciate any feedback. Deep breathe here we go.

Her index finger already drawing tiny circles around her already hardened and ever tender clitoris. It was usually the tightening of her legs as she stretched them out, pointing her toes and building up the tension in her inner thighs that both roused and aroused her. She lifted her left hand to cup as much of her full breast as she could and slowly squeezed her nipple as she searched around her head for a suitable visual picture to just give her that little push over the edge. Imogen could feel the tightening starting to subside, no! She must find that image quick, ah, there he is, tall, broad, tanned and those bright green eyes, the man with no name, ah yes! She thought, the tension returning at full speed now. Imogen could feel the quivers of electricity fluttering down her legs and then her spine starting to arch and stretch, just a few more circles and yes, there it was, the total feeling of pure pleasure as she let out an almost silent moan which seemed to have come from the depths of her soul. Just this involuntary sound, with her whole body stretched so tight was enough and she shook with a thousand tiny little jitters joining together to rock her world. Oh bliss, just a little longer, she hung on to her visual picture as though her life depended on it and then it was gone. Gone until the next time leaving her laid on the bed heavy and languid, relaxed and at peace with the world.

Let me know what you think.

Hi Imogen. Like you I am new to this site but not new to the world of internet forums. Please don't take rude comments to heart. There are people who simply enjoy trying to upset others.

I'll try and give you some more considered feedback from the point of view of a reader.

I'm a man so forgive me if I don't fully appreciate what you are trying to express. I liked what you are trying to do and know that it's difficult to describe the build up to an orgasm.

My first comment is that I think that you need to try bring some more intimacy to the writing. Let me give you a couple of examples.

Her index finger already drawing tiny circles around her already hardened and ever tender clitoris.

The use of the word 'already' twice in this sentence is unnecessary. It would read better if one of them was omitted. There is also no verb in this sentence but that doesn't necessarily matter although you might try replacing 'drawing' with 'draws' and see how that grabs you. The use of the present tense gives a sense of immediacy. e.g.

Her index finger draws tiny circles around her already hardened and ever tender clitoris.

Here's another example.

She lifted her left hand to cup as much of her full breast as she could and slowly squeezed her nipple as she searched around her head for a suitable visual picture to just give her that little push over the edge.

Again try changing this the the present tense and see how it feels. e.g.

She lifts her left hand to cup as much of her full breast as she can and slowly squeezes her nipple as she searches around her head for a suitable visual picture to just give her that little push over the edge.

These comments may not be appropriate as I don't know the context from which you have lifted the lines but let me know if they have been of any help at all.

BackroomLover

 

[Faithful_Shadow]

She slowly undid its confines; her jaw dropped at the size. She had never handled anything this big, and had no idea how her tiny frame was going to adjust it. Her cheeks were flushing crimson with the thought of it, and what it would do to her. Her fingers trembled as she grasped its base with both her hands, lifting it slowly, measuring its weight. Her eyes had not lied; it was as heavy as it had looked.

Her legs involuntary spread as she prepared herself for the massive thing. Her whole body was already glistening with a slick sheen of sweat from the anticipation as she began to lower herself down. The toned muscles of her buttocks clenched; the first inch seemed to touch her soul, causing her moistness to grow. The second came easier as her butt began to bob up and down, desperately struggling to take the large thing inch after inch. She felt areas of herself she had never knew existed being stretched and strained.

Soft moans and cues slipped over her lips as she developed a rhythm, becoming a hot dripping mess. Unexpectedly her whole body began to convulse, and then she was gone…..




Epilogue: She had finally moved the new dryer into place after three attempts.

 

[MichaelinChina]

She slowly undid its confines; her jaw dropped at the size. She had never handled anything this big, .....

Soft moans and cues slipped over her lips as she developed a rhythm, becoming a hot dripping mess. Unexpectedly her whole body began to convulse, and then she was gone…..




Epilogue: She had finally moved the new dryer into place after three attempts.

haha That's very good! Very clever. Not sure why the moistness came into it though. I mean why would someone become moist while heaving a dryer round.

 

[Faithful_Shadow]

haha That's very good! Very clever. Not sure why the moistness came into it though. I mean why would someone become moist while heaving a dryer round.

Sweat saturates a body and clothing...making a person and their clothing moist.

Ambiguous descriptions that we automatically assume as sexual are fun to play with.

 

[MichaelinChina]

Sweat saturates a body and clothing...making a person and their clothing moist.

Ambiguous descriptions that we automatically assume as sexual are fun to play with.

I'm sorry..of course...sweat. Forgot that!

 

[MichaelinChina]

Your hand roams your body, as you lie relaxing in the early morning light.

Lips parted, eyes lightly closed, you caress your nipples, teasing and tweaking them until they are fully erect and stiff.

Gently pinching them between your thumb and finger, rolling them round and round, cupping and caressing each mound of breast, you feel so relaxed yet increasingly excited. But you have another more urgent need.

Your hand delves down between your warm soft thighs, to discover with a smile, how deliciously moist your pussy is becoming, and as your fingers delicately prise open your pussy lips, you find it hard to resist slipping a finger slowly inside your opened petals.

Your clit is on fire! Begging, aching, wanting, needing, to be given some loving attention. Throbbing, twitching, flickering with passion, its hood peeled back and that little love button simply aching to be touched, felt, rubbed, teased until the direct link between your hard nipples and your excited clit has been made.

And you feel so exquisitely womanly, deliciously horny, so fucking EXCITED that you know that only a tongue and a big hard cock will completely satisfy your desire.

(193 wds)

 

[reddirtwriter]

a first attempt

Rance tugged frantically at his man's shirt. Michael's six-month deployment had been a strain, and anticipation had them both at a fevered pitch. Their urgent needs were overwhelming and Rance soon found himself writhing under Michael. He issued a guttural scream as Michael's teeth sunk into his shoulder, the passion of long separation frantically seeking release.

Michael whispered, "God, babe. I've missed you so much".

Rance groaned, his skin aflame with Michael's touch. He sighed in anticipation as his man's thick forearms pressed his legs upward. His pale, smooth butt was quickly exposed, and he gasped in anticipation.

Rance felt Michael rock hard manhood seek entry and wrapped his legs around Michael's torso, begging to be taken. Michael's response was immediate and wonderful, plunging in urgently, his fingers digging into Rance's torso, as he fucked with animalistic desire. After a few hard thrusts, his long deigned climax began. Rance felt each volley as his lover filling his gut, triggering his own orgasm, echoing Michael's urgent passion. With a low guttural scream, Rance exploded, shooting violently, coating them with jets of hot cum. Rance kissed Michael gently as a very content smile bloomed across his face, "Welcome home, soldier."

~~~
198 words

 

[Kikoro]

Her hand traced my thigh through the slit down the leg of my dress, starting from the outside and working its way inward. My tongue hungrily invades her mouth, her breath tickling my cheek. Our breasts firmly pressed together, my nipples hardening with the sensation. I squeeze her ass as I slip a leg underneath her skirt, rubbing her crotch against it. Glassy-eyed, our lips part, now releasing soft moans as her dampness spreads along my thigh. I roughly rub against her, pulling her in close, hungrily touching every inch of her still-clothed body. Her fingernails trace my spine through the silky fabric, tickling as they pass. Her other hand moves from my thigh to my crotch, sticky sounds emanating as her fingers invade without panties to prevent their entry. I hungrily grind my hips against her fingers, and my leg across her crotch. Our breathing quickens. Her back arches as I plant my face firmly into the voluptuous chest of her blouse. She squeals, and then I sigh, shuddering, both of us falling to the floor panting.

176 words (or 178 if you count compounds as two words).

These exercises invariably turn into more of a free-form poem than a story for me.

 

[pandapompom]

I’m up late reading and the words on the screen are my delicious secret. I eat them up like candy, insatiable for the electric spark that ignites in my mind and burns down my spine (it shivers). I brush the fingers of one hand lightly down my belly (it quivers) and under my panties (they are damp). I marvel at the silky skin and push one finger through the folds (testing). They part easily, my tropical flower blossoming lushly. I balance the laptop on my chest scooting lower down the headboard, trying not to wake him as my other hand joins. Two fingers pressing in, in, in. Another finger mashes my button. Everything down there slickens, heats, pulses. The words are lightning that strikes my brain, electrifies every nerve, culminating at my clit with every pass of my finger (its pace quickening). With these flashes comes the thunder moving my other hand (slow, deep, rumbling with power). I am silent as the storm builds secretly in my body (arched, taut with effort). Just when I can no longer withstand the pressure, the rain sluices down miraculously and I fall over the edge (panting, trembling, electric).



195 words. I'd love constructive feedback. Thanks!

love this, it's almost poetic! so sexy, just wish there could be more. Do you have any stories on here?

 

[Faithful_Shadow]

I felt you, and I knew that you knew. The subway cart was crowded, but that was no excuse, and you made none. It was hot, and I was surprised. I’d had never felt one give off so much heat. At first it tickled as it rubbed against me, and I didn’t know exactly what you wanted, but then…it was so quick I had barely time to gasp before it was inside. It was huge, bigger than anything that had come before, and the sickly pleasant pain of being stretched made it abundantly clear. The barrier of my panties had been nothing as they were easily slipped aside, and now I was suffering the consequences of their insufficient defenses….and enjoying every inch of it. By the fourth stop I could finally feel the heavy full sacks of your balls pressing against my clit, and by the eighth chime you were issuing low growls in my ear as you emptied yourself inside me. I couldn’t help myself when I reached down under my skirt and squeezed you dry. No one noticed the faint trails of your mark running down my legs as we stepped off the subway.

I love you Daddy.

 

[Acktion]

For years, I have dreamed of this moment.

An aching need burns within me as I piston my hips within yours. I quash that edge, forcing it back, determined to savor this moment for as long as possible.

You have never looked more beautiful than you do with your head thrown back in a silent scream of pleasure as your hands claw at my back. I feel my skin give way beneath your passionate embrace, but am determined to bear this badge with silent solemn pride as you lift your hips to meet my thrusts.

Sinking slowly back to the bed, your hips slow and then stop. I pause in anticipation. Your eyes open and focus on me.

"Oh God," You pant. "Didn't you cum?"

"Not yet, my love." I begin to gently move within you again. "Not yet."

 

[PenelopePendergasp]

JellyBoned

She closed the door, nervously noticing all the unkempt details of her little studio. She hadn't planned this. Who does? He stood in front, ignoring her embarrassed glances at the clothes and unwashed dishes strewn about. Her back settled against the door and they shared an awkward moment as she nervously counted old splatters of morning coffee spilled on hardwood flooring nearby.

"Hi." He whispered.

She glanced up to his eyes, let out a nervous little laugh, and was about to reply when his hand came up to her face and bushed away a lock of hair. What had begun as a glance became a stare, burrowing through her pupils and into the depths of her soul as if in slow motion. His eyes would not release her as those fingers trailed down her temple. With tremendous strength she forced eyelids down into blackness as she tilted her cheek into his palm. A breath was sucked in through her teeth.

His palm gently cupped her face as if it were a breast, until those fingers curled and he ran a knuckle down the jawline to her chin and pulled her face back toward his eyes. A slight nudge woke her from that trance and as their eyes connected again she felt him close in. Her mouth opened for a kiss and once again her eyes closed. A breath blew against her as their lips met and he wrapped an arm around to pull her as she arched in toward him. His lips were gentle caresses.

He is a burley man with thick tattooed arms in a tribal pattern that stretched the fabric of his black T-shirt and she had expected something more forceful. A hard fuck to release weeks of built-up tension. Instead, he was making love to her lips, stubble on his chin gently scratching, until a tongue probed inward and she lost herself in the moment.

When their lips parted, fingers moved down her neck and across her blouse, circling a nipple clockwise. Her tummy clenched and she bent into his hand as a little moan escaped her lips, her hands running up and down that barrel chest of his. From her neck, he began unbuttoning the blouse all the way down until skin was exposed. Her nipples pierced out from behind the bra like embroidery.

"I expected something... different." She whispered.

"Something like this?"

He quickly turned her and she was pushed against the door. Palms rose up to break the forward movement and she sucked in a deep breath. Underneath that blouse, his hands trailed up and down her back, and she couldn't help but push her bottom out for him until a curve formed along the small of her back. His fingers reached underneath the fabric of her skirt and he yanked it down until it fell to a heap on the floor.

"Yes." She moaned, not sure if the comment was rhetorical or she was answering his question.

A knuckle stroked her sex over cheap and sensible flower print panties and she felt a flushing down there as a rush of heat opened and prepared her for him. The panties were soaked. He unzipped and she felt a throbbing hardness probe against her, rubbing across those panties where his finger had been. Her breath turned raspy in quick bursts and he pulled down that last cloth barrier between them over her thighs until it came to her ankles. She stepped out and widened her stance.

He probed again and she began to open. Her slickness offered no resistance to his prodding and soon he had slowly penetrated until his pelvis pushed her forward. Her head dropped and hair flowed across her face as she moaned helplessly.

"You like it gentle." He noted.

She looked over her shoulder and with a fierceness in her eyes, sternness in her face, and jaws clenched she commanded through her teeth, "Yes. But I also like it hard."

He smiled, a cocky and self-assured expression. She turned back, saw the door and closed her eyes.

"Fuck me," she said. "Fuck me until I'm jelly wriggling on the floor!"

He grabbed her hair and pushed until a cheek and her breasts were pressed against that door, grabbed her waist, and began a pounding that sounded like a sledgehammer demolishing the apartment. Her yelps of ecstasy echoed through the halls outside until a final scream of oblivion tore through her like a seizure that buckled her knees, causing more than one neighbor's door to open quizzically nearby. He gently lowered her hips down onto hardwood, towering above her, and she curled up in a fetal ball as she became that jelly on the floor, cooing in gasps, sweaty and spent, and didn't care a whit for what they thought.

"Do it again." She begged, gazing up into his eyes.

 

[PenelopePendergasp]

Way more than 200 words. Oh well. Sigh.

A C+ for effort at least?

 

[MichaelinChina]

Way more than 200 words. Oh well. Sigh.

A C+ for effort at least?

You can break the rules anytime. That was hot Penelope!

 

[PenelopePendergasp]

You can break the rules anytime. That was hot Penelope!

Thanks! Re: the 6 word thread, my mandarin is pretty bad - only took two years at uni - and keeping to six words / characters makes it all the more difficult. lol.

I'm genuinely jealous that you live there.

 

[British Filth]

Darkness heightens the feeling of danger, doesn’t it? I can’t believe we’re doing this. They say when you take one sense away, it strengthens the others. Maybe that’s why our colleague’s noise passing this stationary cupboard panics us so much! Ssshhh, stop giggling! Mmm, balance your leg on that shelf. Open your thighs. Wait, no panties? You little slut. I love it! Push yourself onto my face. Mmmm, you taste divine. You know what? Let’s get naked. Fuck it, if they catch us like this we’re screwed anyway. Let’s do it. God this is insane! We’ve never torn off our clothes so frantically. Wait until you see how stiff I am. Mmm, yes that’s right suck on it, baby. Let me grab these two shelves and sink into your mouth. Savour my pre-cum; I can’t believe that didn’t leak through my pants when you flashed me at your desk! Now quick, let’s fuck. Push back on me thrusting into you. Damn! You feel amazing. They surely must have heard that. Fuck, I’m going to explode inside you. I can feel you cumming on me! Wow, you’re inredible. Ok, quickly dress. I’ll exit first and knock when the coast is clear…


(200 words)

 

[tactful]

Love bitten

She leaned forward, her hands pulled his head upward. Bringing his lips to meet hers, he took in her scent. The kiss was soft and deep, with lips parting, her tongue probed his, slowly opening them, she thrust her warmth into his waiting mouth. He struggled, with bound hands, to keep his balance, her hands gripping his hair, held him steady.
He felt himself harden, sucking on her tongue, to bring it deeper into his mouth. She fed him, her nipples hardened, while he fed from her.
Pulling her tongue from him, he moaned for more, as if taking a cue from her kiss, he did likewise, forcing his tongue deep into her mouth, accepting his offering, she sucked it into her warm mouth, while hands tightened their grip on his hair, as if annoyed, he tried to back away. She bit down hard, almost drawing blood from his tongue, his cry muffled by her lips. Releasing the invader, she backed away from him, still holding his head firm. Sliding back into the lounge chair, she positioned her legs over the arms, while pulling his head downward, into her moist pussy, now, you may please me, she cooed.
His tongue gingerly moved, ever so slowly, up one side of her pussy, and than the other, while she purred with pleasure.