Male Orgasm Denial

[PaulBlart]

I am extremely interested in having my wife control my orgasms. We played with this for a while, but it was mostly one sided. I would get her off with my tongue (our usual prelude to intercourse) and then ask her to tell me I couldn't have any. We'd end with her bringing me right to the edge with her hand or her feet (I also have a foot fetish) and then stopping. She would never say whether this appealed to her or not, but her sex drive seemed to soar while we were doing this. But, I needed for this to be out of my control and she was never willing to be active in controlling my orgasms, so it died out. I recently had the idea of proposing a game to her. we will have a bag with several white poker chips (maybe 5 at first) and one red one. She gets nightly foot rubs (she enjoys them and rubbing her feet gets me really turned on) and at least one full body massage weekly. She gets an orgasm (oral or fingering) any time she wants (she usually wants one at the end of a massage and sometimes after a foot rub). For each orgasm she has, I get to draw a chip from the bag. If it's red, I get to cum. If not, I don't. She can have intercourse if she wants, but I have to pull out before cumming and, if I masturbate or cum without "permission" all the chips plus one additional white one goes back in the bag so my odds of getting off go down. Has anyone ever tried this? How did it work out? Women (especially those not in to femdom and/or orgasm denial) does this sound appealing/interesting or at least not repulsive?

 

[SweetErika]

It could sound great to me and every other woman here, but that matters not. What does matter is whether or not it sounds good to your wife, or if it's something she's willing to try at least once, occasionally or for a limited period of time. If it's not something she's into, but she's not totally unwilling either, ask her what WOULD work for her. Maybe she has a compromise that will work for both of you.

 

[PaulBlart]

Thanks for the response Erika. Mostly looking for a reality check. I'm quite a bit kinkier (is that a word?) than she and I've been searching for a comfortable way (for her) to touch on my kinks. Just wanted to get some thoughts from the more vanilla among us before pressing on with this little proposal.

 

[subwannabe]

I wish my wife would be more into this kind of thing. Your idea sounds hot and very similar to ideas I have had. It's all about communication, communication, communication. Unfortunately I think my wife tries once in a while to please me and then it gets put on the backburner after that until I have to communicate, communicate, communicate again and then we get stuck in that same feedback loop over and over. After a while I just get tired of "communicating" when it seems like I'm just talking to a brick wall. I guess it kind of bothers me that I would do anything to please her but she doesn't seem to have the same thought process in return. It's not like I'm asking for anything so complicated or gross. I wish you better luck in your endeavors.

 

[goldmoon]

I am a teaser by nature so I know exactly what you are talking about. I find nothing more exciting to tease and edge a guy for long periods of time. The longer I tease, the more powerful his orgasm.

But one thing you need to remember. Girls are taught from a very young age (by boys), that being a cock tease is a very bad thing so she may have some of that in the back of her mind to get over.

Communication is the best you can do, preferably in a non sexual situation. Just be very clear that you in no way want to force her to do something she does not like but if she has an open mind maybe you can gently let her that this is more than just a fantasy one time thing for you.

 

[jenni7]

Thanks for the response Erika. Mostly looking for a reality check. I'm quite a bit kinkier (is that a word?) than she and I've been searching for a comfortable way (for her) to touch on my kinks. Just wanted to get some thoughts from the more vanilla among us before pressing on with this little proposal.

I really like how your going about this. Bringing a pretty tame game in to create the situation you want. She is still getting pleasure and you will hopefully get your denial.

The idea sounds very fun to me. I've flirted along the lines of Orgasm denial with a few and I love teasing but I think im way on the tame end of it. I deny it in a situation and moment, then move onto a new act, can bring them up then deny again. I've never actually denied the who thing and left a man without coming (if it was in my power to make them cum) and truthfully the reason why is I would feel bad if they didnt cum.

 

[PaulBlart]

Jenni, I think my wife would agree with your last statement. She has said the very same to me before. But, I've tried explaining that, to me, being denied is more powerful and more pleasurable than getting off. Getting off is easy and, to a certain extent, disappointing. Being kept on edge and denied release while giving her pleasure just extends the sexual experience outside the bedroom for me. I'm hoping this little game will be non-threatening enough to make her comfortable.

 

[jenni7]

Jenni, I think my wife would agree with your last statement. She has said the very same to me before. But, I've tried explaining that, to me, being denied is more powerful and more pleasurable than getting off. Getting off is easy and, to a certain extent, disappointing. Being kept on edge and denied release while giving her pleasure just extends the sexual experience outside the bedroom for me. I'm hoping this little game will be non-threatening enough to make her comfortable.

To me it would be very non threatening. I would still hold guilt though i think. How many days are you hoping to prolong for?

That being said and all unreasonable guilt aside if he said hey i want to try this, see if i like it, heres a cool way to maybe go about it I would def be willing to try it and hell if thats what he wants why not he does stuff for me that i know isnt quite his cup of tea and by granting his fantasy it doesnt hurt me in any way you know.

 

[zont]

One of the things we've done is for me to lay on my back while she strokes me. I tell her how I'm feeling, and have her stop just as I feel the cum starting. She slows up until I tell her to start again. She starts and stops, and before long the cum starts to flow (without me having a real orgasm). She'll do me like this for maybe 20 minutes, before I have to cum----she could deny me at this point, but she never does, and the orgasm turns me inside out.

We always laugh because by the time she is done, her stroking has whipped up the cum like whipped cream...

 

[PaulBlart]

Jenni, as far as duration, it would be random and depend on the number of white chips we put in the bag. Since we are basing my ability to draw on her having an orgasm, it depends on how often I get her off. She tends to be an orgasm factory, so it might not be very long. I'm thinking two weeks or so would be a strain for me, but I want to be challenged.

Zont, I've tried to get my wife to do the same, but she has an issue with patience. After the first couple of edges, she can't wait anymore and starts pumping.

 

[zont]

That's funny. My wife is impatient, but its for her orgasm. Once we start, she has to cum...now! But, when she's doing me she seems to get into what's happening with me, and goes to my command..... If you can slow her down maybe she will get into the moment...

 

[subwannabe]

The chips thing is fine. One of my favorite ideas though is just a plain deck of cards. You can set the rules to determine your percentages, like face cards you get to cum and others you don't. Dice could also be used. If you roll doubles you get to cum, if not you don't.

 

[OrelP]

Poker chips? Man.. just get her to lock you in chastity and start cooking and cleaning for her. Let her get used to being spoiled and see where that goes...

I'd just go for a mean girl who gets off on torturing guys. You'll wish you were playing with poker chips. One in five chance of cumming would actually be some pretty good odds.

It does sound like a fun game though

 

[PaulBlart]

Poker chips? Man.. just get her to lock you in chastity and start cooking and cleaning for her. Let her get used to being spoiled and see where that goes...

I'd just go for a mean girl who gets off on torturing guys. You'll wish you were playing with poker chips. One in five chance of cumming would actually be some pretty good odds.

It does sound like a fun game though

a.) I already do all the cooking and cleaning. She already "wears the pants" in the family, but doesn't intentionally and openly exert her authority, especially not sexually. It just is what it is.
b.) Very few women are accepting of chastity devices
c.) Very few women get in to torturing guys and I'm not married to one
d.) I'm trying to find something that will satisfy my kink while hopefully giving her something interesting...or at least something that isn't repulsive to her.

 

[manyways4u]

I had an ex who was very adventurous sexualy did this to me to teach me a lesson for doing a little tease and deny a few nights before. She brought me right to the edge like 4 times before letting me cum. Even tied my hands so it was easier for her to control me.