Marie's Favorite Things

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

 

[gga]

View attachment 2689908

This brings back memories, watching on Channel 38 out of Boston.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

It's hard to see people who hurt others succeeding. If that's what people want, that's what they deserve.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

View attachment 2689913

@Browneyegirl75

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

East of Eden was an incredible show and I'm sure the book was better. It's been a week since I watched it, but some of it has stuck with me too much. It has really triggered me.

Spoiler alerts ahead:

The main antagonist was an SA survivor, same type as me. She becomes a sex worker and it's said that many sex workers reach a certain age and choose to end things. Their "profitability" is less, so depression and anxiety take control.

Every once in a while, Lit makes me feel like a sex worker. Today, it wasn't someone's actions. It was my own thoughts. My stupid thoughts telling me that my worth in the world is much different than what I act like in the threads. That I'm a placeholder for the next person. That things are transactional here, just like a sex worker. That me having fun is rightfully something to be sneered at by other women. That none of these men would want to see the real me, much less desire me. That the idea of me is so much better than the actual me (Allegory of the Cave). When my brain starts down this path, I try to cuss it and call it a liar. Sometimes that doesn't work and I still feel dirty and damaged. So I cry it out in the shower.

We can't change what has happened to us, but we can change our reactions to it. I believe that was the main point of the story. You can let it destroy you or you can choose to be better. You can participate in the generational trauma or you can end it. You can abuse others out of anger and pain or you can use that to make you kinder and more understanding.

One character chose destruction. Others chose Timshel.

"Timshel: The Hebrew concept meaning "thou mayest," which signifies human free will and the capacity to overcome inherited guilt or moral destiny."

It's up to us to choose to overcome the guilt.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Had to skip the last post. I'm very interested to watch it, but waiting for hubs to get home from a work trip. I've read the book and seen the movie. I am looking forward to see what the series can do with more time.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Had to skip the last post. I'm very interested to watch it, but waiting for hubs to get home from a work trip. I've read the book and seen the movie. I am looking forward to see what the series can do with more time.

You already know my trauma anyway. lol

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I “loved” this because I appreciate you sharing something so personal

Every once in a while, Lit makes me feel like a sex worker. Today, it wasn't someone's actions. It was my own thoughts. My stupid thoughts…

Our thoughts can be our worst enemies or our best friend. They carry so much power.

I spend a fair amount of time reflecting on my reactions to things so I can better understand myself, change thought patterns to better serve me, and choose things that bring me peace and joy.

That I'm a placeholder for the next person.

I hate this so much. If someone made me feel this way, I’d be gone.

But I think there’s a mental aspect as well. If you compare yourself to anyone else, you’ll always lose just by way of engaging in the act itself. People are all sorts of wonderful, unique individuals and should be celebrated that way. No one is worth more or less. I like to focus on the qualities they bring to my life and if that makes it net positive or not. And also on the personal dynamic and connection I have with them - is it worth making space in my life for them? Do I want to share pieces of myself with them?

The rest? Just noise.

That things are transactional here, just like a sex worker.

I think that just because things might not be permanent, doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be transactional either. And who knows where things will go anyway? I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so I want to ensure I enjoy today.

Plus…the surprises! I’ve had some completely unexpected people come into my life that I would have lost big money if I had bet on their longevity and importance in my life a decade later. I generally only regret the things I didn’t try, but wanted to give a chance.

That me having fun is rightfully something to be sneered at by other women.

This will set me off every single time. Fun and joy should be celebrated. We should be building each other up, not tearing each other down.

Anyone who makes themselves feel better at the expense of hurting or putting down others? Not anyone welcome in my world. I actually struggle when I see people like this friends with my friends. I don’t want that for them and it makes me consider backing away to keep my world free from the ugliness of that.

That none of these men would want to see the real me, much less desire me. That the idea of me is so much better than the actual me (Allegory of the Cave).

Real people are so much more interesting than just the public glimpses! I love really getting to know the person behind the profile. The quirks and flaws and unfiltered version are some of my favorite things.

I admittedly don’t have unlimited time to get to know even a fraction of the people I suspect I would enjoy, but it’s so worth it when I make time for the right people. Quality over quantity every time. And if I have a really good feeling about someone, it’s rare I’m disappointed.

When my brain starts down this path, I try to cuss it and call it a liar. Sometimes that doesn't work and I still feel dirty and damaged. So I cry it out in the shower.

Water always makes me feel the best kind of reset. A day of diving, a swim in the pool, a long hot shower. Followed by soft pjs and clean sheets…all worries seem to disappear and my mind is empty.

We can't change what has happened to us, but we can change our reactions to it.

I couldn’t agree more. We can’t change our pasts or control how we feel, but we sure as hell can control how we act.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Our thoughts can be our worst enemies or our best friend. They carry so much power.

Those jerks can ruin an otherwise good day!

I spend a fair amount of time reflecting on my reactions to things so I can better understand myself, change thought patterns to better serve me, and choose things that bring me peace and joy.

You are a wise woman!

Anyone who makes themselves feel better at the expense of hurting or putting down others? Not anyone welcome in my world. I actually struggle when I see people like this friends with my friends. I don’t want that for them and it makes me consider backing away to keep my world free from the ugliness of that.

I struggle soooooooo much with this! It's not my place to control them, but at the same time I know long term it will damage our friendship.

I admittedly don’t have unlimited time to get to know even a fraction of the people I suspect I would enjoy, but it’s so worth it when I make time for the right people. Quality over quantity every time. And if I have a really good feeling about someone, it’s rare I’m disappointed.

I'm greedy so I want both. And I want all of them to be friends too. Once I "forced" two different singles groups at two different churches to interact on a regular basis. I loved having all my friends together in the same place!

Water always makes me feel the best kind of reset. A day of diving, a swim in the pool, a long hot shower. Followed by soft pjs and clean sheets…all worries seem to disappear and my mind is empty.

Yes! Too busy I have an appointment and had to get dressed. But the shower helped me get my thoughts together and get them out of my head.

I couldn’t agree more. We can’t change our pasts or control how we feel, but we sure as hell can control how we act.

I knew you were good people cause you're friends with Muse. Thanks for reinforcing that opinion!

 

[MrPimms]

Bit of a silly question (I have lots), is East of Eden based on the Steinbeck novel?

I need something to watch that’s a change. I tried ‘Carrie’ yesterday but could not get on with that.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Bit of a silly question (I have lots), is East of Eden based on the Steinbeck novel?

I need something to watch that’s a change. I tried ‘Carrie’ yesterday but could not get on with that.

It is! And you get to see some very nice boobs.

 

[MrPimms]

It is! And you get to see some very nice boobs.

On the TV or … *lifts my shirt* … yep, TV.

 

[EyesOnHers]

East of Eden was an incredible show and I'm sure the book was better. It's been a week since I watched it, but some of it has stuck with me too much. It has really triggered me.

Spoiler alerts ahead:

The main antagonist was an SA survivor, same type as me. She becomes a sex worker and it's said that many sex workers reach a certain age and choose to end things. Their "profitability" is less, so depression and anxiety take control.

Every once in a while, Lit makes me feel like a sex worker. Today, it wasn't someone's actions. It was my own thoughts. My stupid thoughts telling me that my worth in the world is much different than what I act like in the threads. That I'm a placeholder for the next person. That things are transactional here, just like a sex worker. That me having fun is rightfully something to be sneered at by other women. That none of these men would want to see the real me, much less desire me. That the idea of me is so much better than the actual me (Allegory of the Cave). When my brain starts down this path, I try to cuss it and call it a liar. Sometimes that doesn't work and I still feel dirty and damaged. So I cry it out in the shower.

We can't change what has happened to us, but we can change our reactions to it. I believe that was the main point of the story. You can let it destroy you or you can choose to be better. You can participate in the generational trauma or you can end it. You can abuse others out of anger and pain or you can use that to make you kinder and more understanding.

One character chose destruction. Others chose Timshel.

"Timshel: The Hebrew concept meaning "thou mayest," which signifies human free will and the capacity to overcome inherited guilt or moral destiny."

It's up to us to choose to overcome the guilt.

Wow, this was a read.
Not all of it, but enough to really resonate.

And your words feel like the stuff I say in my head while staring at myself in the mirror.

 

[Apisto42]

East of Eden was an incredible show and I'm sure the book was better. It's been a week since I watched it, but some of it has stuck with me too much. It has really triggered me.

Spoiler alerts ahead:

The main antagonist was an SA survivor, same type as me. She becomes a sex worker and it's said that many sex workers reach a certain age and choose to end things. Their "profitability" is less, so depression and anxiety take control.

Every once in a while, Lit makes me feel like a sex worker. Today, it wasn't someone's actions. It was my own thoughts. My stupid thoughts telling me that my worth in the world is much different than what I act like in the threads. That I'm a placeholder for the next person. That things are transactional here, just like a sex worker. That me having fun is rightfully something to be sneered at by other women. That none of these men would want to see the real me, much less desire me. That the idea of me is so much better than the actual me (Allegory of the Cave). When my brain starts down this path, I try to cuss it and call it a liar. Sometimes that doesn't work and I still feel dirty and damaged. So I cry it out in the shower.

We can't change what has happened to us, but we can change our reactions to it. I believe that was the main point of the story. You can let it destroy you or you can choose to be better. You can participate in the generational trauma or you can end it. You can abuse others out of anger and pain or you can use that to make you kinder and more understanding.

One character chose destruction. Others chose Timshel.

"Timshel: The Hebrew concept meaning "thou mayest," which signifies human free will and the capacity to overcome inherited guilt or moral destiny."

It's up to us to choose to overcome the guilt.

I love what you said about breaking generational trauma. Being a dad I had two main goals, break the cycle and raise a man who treated women well.

As far as not feeling like enough:

 

[AngelicaS1780]

You already know my trauma anyway. lol

Sorry. I thought you were writing about your impressions of the show, so I skipped it. I'll go back.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

We can't change what has happened to us, but we can change our reactions to it. I believe that was the main point of the story. You can let it destroy you or you can choose to be better. You can participate in the generational trauma or you can end it. You can abuse others out of anger and pain or you can use that to make you kinder and more understanding.

It takes strength and courage to examine traumatic experiences and how they have influenced the ways we see ourselves and move through the world. And it takes determination and effort to change those ways. I'm still getting there myself.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Wow, this was a read.
Not all of it, but enough to really resonate.

And your words feel like the stuff I say in my head while staring at myself in the mirror.

We can get through it if we have others to lean on, especially those who struggle too.

I love what you said about breaking generational trauma. Being a dad I had two main goals, break the cycle and raise a man who treated women well.

As far as not feeling like enough:

You are a good man, Angry Bunny

It takes strength and courage to examine traumatic experiences and how they have influenced the ways we see ourselves and move through the world. And it takes determination and effort to change those ways. I'm still getting there myself.

You know I will always kick your butt when you need it. And vice versa.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Changing to a lighter vibe to wind down.

Proficiency: Master

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

One of my spirit animals, enemy of insects.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

And might taste good. Possibly.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

I would buy these, absolutely. So pretty!