Masculine submission

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

I’m imagining various role play scenarios. Perhaps like the show ‘Sparticus’ Where I am a strong male figure but totally at the beck and call of my partner. Could be used by her.. or made to play with her and her friends or just serve them during gatherings. Made to be naked or scantily clad and objectified.

I'm not particularly into roleplay but I definitely like the dynamic of the scenes you're describing! That notion of submitting your physical strengths to her will and also being valued on that aesthetic sounds like a very appealing way to serve a dominant.

EH

 

[NovaLight]

Can one be masculine and submissive? Absolutely. I actually think it enhances the the submission.
(Loving the "Spartacus" type imagery!)

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Can one be masculine and submissive? Absolutely. I actually think it enhances the the submission.
(Loving the "Spartacus" type imagery!)

Nice to see there are likeminded people out there

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Bump for a worthwhile thread

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Much appreciated Lady Jenna, unfortunately I've been away for a bit (pesky real life and all that) but hope fully we can keep this discussion going

EH

 

[ThePhun1]

Cautious

There are two aspects of submission, from a male side, which I can comment on: The desire to please, to make a woman smile and laugh, to be a gentleman, gallant, loyal, and the "boy to warm her mother's heart" is one aspect. This stems from a feeling that it is better to give than receive, and thus, many male subs are wired to be the givers of pleasure, which in turn gives them pleasure.

On the kink side, the ability to withstand physical pain for her sake is also a part of where the masochistic side stems from. I also believe, for my own personal health and livlihood, in maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle and physique, for my partner's sake but as much for my own.

I do see a fair amount of stigma towards male submissives and female-led BDSM relationships, even on this site, and sometimes even in this forum. Part of that, I think, does stem from traditional gender roles in a relationship. The notion that a male is submissive to a woman, or (especially) engages in certain heavy compromising kink behavior, cuckolding, etc with a stronger female- all this probably makes some people in traditional gender-relationship roles a bit uncomfortable. And a lot of that is just the demographic, it's in the numbers- If the majority of BDSM practitioners are male dominants and female submissives, I suspect many of these people are probably not comfortable with, or even very accepting of, the opposite dynamic.

Having submitted to a strong woman all I can say is sometimes it feels wonderful to be a slut and give a gift that only a submissive can give

 

[tiez]

Something I've found that commonly crops up in my conversations on Literotica is the reconciliation of masculinity and submission, as many social constructs and gender roles make submission antithetical to the male gender identity. While I'm sure many in this community shirk the concept of stereotypical gender roles and accept the inherant dimensionality of gender identity, fetishes like sissification and feminisation often rely on these heuristic associations.

My Mistress likes to have a masculine man submit to her. So even though I might like the idea of wearing panties (and occasionally sometimes do), but I've since got rid of my collection of panties. She just doesn't want me in them.

Some other submissive gestures, like being shaved of body hair, she also doesn't like. She LOVES my chest hair and would never ever think of getting rid of it. It's a masculine part of me that she really loves.

I might want a little more sissification than she wants, but then, she's the one in charge. And if she's paying attention to me, I'm happy for that attention. I'm more about what she wants than what I want, so I encourage the things she enjoys doing to me.

Hope that helps.

 

[surferjake]

Doesn't it express a stronger power dynamic and a more genuine submission when a man, who *could* physically be stronger, and is masculine in all other ways, does submit to a woman?

I'm not particularly into roleplay but I definitely like the dynamic of the scenes you're describing! That notion of submitting your physical strengths to her will and also being valued on that aesthetic sounds like a very appealing way to serve a dominant.

EH

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Doesn't it express a stronger power dynamic and a more genuine submission when a man, who *could* physically be stronger, and is masculine in all other ways, does submit to a woman?

In my view masculine submission is less about the physical masculinity of the sub, but rather the methods in which the submission is expressed. The male form is a factor in this, but more as a focal point of an appreciation rather than the controlling of said form.

In terms of power dynamics personally I don’t think those kinds of bonds fit with that metric, rather the strength of a D/s dynamic is the trust that is placed in the Domme by the sub.

 

[surferjake]

Hmm.. that's an interesting point. The expression versus the pure "He's a fine physical specimen of a man" (or similar... the cliche fireman/athlete/stereotype 'man' figure).

I suppose on the power side, I was thinking more mentally, from a sub's perspective, of being that 'stereotypical masculine man' to be willing to shed that. But I get your point.

In my view masculine submission is less about the physical masculinity of the sub, but rather the methods in which the submission is expressed. The male form is a factor in this, but more as a focal point of an appreciation rather than the controlling of said form.

In terms of power dynamics personally I don’t think those kinds of bonds fit with that metric, rather the strength of a D/s dynamic is the trust that is placed in the Domme by the sub.

 

[Ginlover]

I have been reading and watching this thread with interest as my current WiP is about a male masochist and submissive. It looks at his interactions with a pro Domme while also developing a connection with a woman who will eventually move into a FLR with him. I want to capture the strength of his submission.

I've followed this thread as I am interested in how my story will be received as it's not typical of the BDSM category on here. The man is a stereotypical alpha, in fact the story is called The Reluctant Alpha.

Here is an extract

Today I was not a Captain who had to tell five families their husband, father or son would never be coming home. Today I was not the Commanding Officer who had to visit sixteen soldiers disfigured and disabled. Today I was not the boss who had seen his best friend almost bleed to death.*


She gave me a break from the man in control and in charge. I gave Mistress my power and authority and in return, she gave me peace.*

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

I have been reading and watching this thread with interest as my current WiP is about a male masochist and submissive. It looks at his interactions with a pro Domme while also developing a connection with a woman who will eventually move into a FLR with him. I want to capture the strength of his submission.

I've followed this thread as I am interested in how my story will be received as it's not typical of the BDSM category on here. The man is a stereotypical alpha, in fact the story is called The Reluctant Alpha.

Here is an extract

Today I was not a Captain who had to tell five families their husband, father or son would never be coming home. Today I was not the Commanding Officer who had to visit sixteen soldiers disfigured and disabled. Today I was not the boss who had seen his best friend almost bleed to death.*


She gave me a break from the man in control and in charge. I gave Mistress my power and authority and in return, she gave me peace.*

I hope reading the discussion has been beneficial to your writing

From what I have seen so far inclinations for both masculine expression of submission and affirmative domination seem to vary greatly amongst the community. There definitely seems to be a relationship between one's adherence to stereotypical 'alpha' (not a big fan of the term but I will use it for clarity here) traits of masculinity, perhaps exploring that interrelationship within your characterisations could be beneficial.

I noted from your excerpt that one of the primary drivers for submission is the deference of responsibility. I think this could be a good motivation to look at as I believe that much of my submissive tendency stems from anxiety about sex and dating, so the concept of a female partner taking the lead and initiating intimacy removes much of the anxiety-stimulation.

EH

 

[Ginlover]

I hope reading the discussion has been beneficial to your writing

From what I have seen so far inclinations for both masculine expression of submission and affirmative domination seem to vary greatly amongst the community.

EH

That's the key. No one persons submission- where ever they are on the gender scale or sexual orientation - looks the same as another's. And the submission one person offers in a dynamic can be very different to how they submit in a new or different dynamic.

What sort of man do dominant women like to be with, or have submit to them is as broad as asking what colour of eyes do you like in a partner?

Media and porn has shaped the views people who do not identify as male submissives see the role.

If we look at how gay men were portrayed by the media in the 70s and 80s even 90s and compared that to actual gay men there is a much broader descriptive. I remember the British TV show Queer as Folk being ground breaking at changing perceptions and raising the conversation with the public.

 

[Erosfan]

Having submitted to a strong woman all I can say is sometimes it feels wonderful to be a slut and give a gift that only a submissive can give

This is my take as well. My wife knows I will do anything she wants, whenever she wants. I love to give her my all.
She calls me her slut and I love that!

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

This is my take as well. My wife knows I will do anything she wants, whenever she wants. I love to give her my all.
She calls me her slut and I love that!

I am a big fan of being slutified as well, although often it's paired with sissification/feminisation which is less up my alley (pun intended).

 

[Ashesh9]

Whooooaa...take a deep breath...slow down...

Now, speak slowly and carefully, gather your thoughts, focus, and explain what you are trying to say.

Just saw this: will definitely revert tomorrow. am tied up right now and not in any shibumi double entendre way

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

Ashesh not 100% sure I followed your post but if what you're alluding to is submission as a form of recompense for patriarchal rape culture personally I don't think that's a very sex-positive form of masculine submission. Do you mean this sort of act literally or in some sort of roleplay (in another thread you referenced groups that use genital mutilation in their worship, hence why I am asking).

EH

 

[Ashesh9]

Ashesh not 100% sure I followed your post but if what you're alluding to is submission as a form of recompense for patriarchal rape culture personally I don't think that's a very sex-positive form of masculine submission. Do you mean this sort of act literally or in some sort of roleplay (in another thread you referenced groups that use genital mutilation in their worship, hence why I am asking).

EH

EH : lemme' giv U a backstory here first. We Hindus believe in a Dark Goddess full of Energy Who Tramples upon Her Lord full of Cosmic Consciousness.
Together they Rule.
In a deeply patriarchial, caste ridden society like Hinduism i found it funny that Men routinely , systematically put down/degrade women and worship The Lady Who Must Be Obeyed!?
I myself had dualistic fantasies of spanking nubile fleshy taut girly/womanly buttocks as also being humiliated by a stern superior Woman.
Ultimately EH i had no option but to turn to Kali My Cosmic Mistress'n Creatrix as a solution to this Riddle.
Now I am saying my unproven belief which may possibly be untrue but it solves my existential dilemma: Ma Kali is a typically Indian Mother Who Divinely Mama-Coddles Her Sons and Whups Her Daughters-in-Laws' Asses painfully and humiliatingly!!!
But She is Divinely Incestuous too so She wants Her Sons to Worship Her

 

[Ashesh9]

MY KEYBOARD GOT LOCKED, SORRY.
Becoz Creatrix demands/needs Masculine Worship She created a Submissive Male software which She implanted deep in Macho Psyches!!! But She wanted 2 humble Her Daughters out of sheer feminine jealousy so She created Male dominated Patriarchy , Burning of Witches , Burning of Widows on husbands' funeral pyres, clitoral mutilation in Africa, tying up of baby girls feet in China , Spanking of wives by drunken hubbies etc etc etc.... all unfair atrocities but what Creatrix wants Creatrix gets.......but ....but ...but somewhere along the line She noticed Her daughters were enjoying submissive orgasms from spanking'n humiliation sooooo She surreptitiously co-opted Herself into every Spanked Womanly derriere 'n psyche to enjoy humiliatory surrendered sweeeet orgasms!!! Weird???? Go figure .....to be contd.

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

I appreciate the theology lesson, although you have explained this to me before on a different thread.

In terms of the combination of religious beliefs and BDSM I won't comment on that as I have very little to do with any religious belief structure. One thing I would note is that a claim of a divine authority when it comes to dominance over any sex/gender is somewhat contradictory to the willing/consented submission in BDSM as I understand it.

In an effort to remain on topic, do you feel that the juxtaposition of adopting dominant roles with some women and submissive roles with others forms part of the masculine identity in submission? I would also suggest you look into Switching if you are looking at that dynamic.

EH

 

[Ashesh9]

I appreciate the theology lesson, although you have explained this to me before on a different thread.

In terms of the combination of religious beliefs and BDSM I won't comment on that as I have very little to do with any religious belief structure. One thing I would note is that a claim of a divine authority when it comes to dominance over any sex/gender is somewhat contradictory to the willing/consented submission in BDSM as I understand it.

In an effort to remain on topic, do you feel that the juxtaposition of adopting dominant roles with some women and submissive roles with others forms part of the masculine identity in submission? I would also suggest you look into Switching if you are looking at that dynamic.

EH

EH: in reply to your comment as well as continuing with my yesterday's narrative......
i am not saying my belief system is superior to yours or i am not proselytizing or sermonizing here. i do not want to convert any single person to Hinduism but certain aspects of Hinduism lend themselves effortlessly to Femdom/ BDSM Kinkiness!!!
as i said i tried to compromise my red hot masculine desire to spank nubile femme asses with my desire to serve strong dominant womanliness . The only Logical reason i cud giv was that a Divine Creatrix who was Female but Not Feminist created my complicated psyche where i wanted to both smack female girly butts but also lick /worship Pussy/Yoni on my bent knees!?
Ma Kali wants Her Sons to Worship Her and only Her but spank and dominate GFs and wives!!!
to be contd.

 

[supercollider00]

This is my take as well. My wife knows I will do anything she wants, whenever she wants. I love to give her my all.
She calls me her slut and I love that!

This is a big part of submission to me as well. The act of really WANTING to give myself completely over. It's not about me but about my Domme and how I want to please her in any possible which sometimes might include pushing what I think I can or cannot do. The feeling when you're able to enter that headspace and feel fully submissive is quite divine honestly. I find myself having trouble putting it into words or even really understanding what has happened, what I liked, didn't like etc in a session at first. It's very powerful.

Also, justifying submission of any gender (ethnicity or anything else) through religious practice to me seems quite disingenuine as it would then be to follow faith not one's will which goes against most of the rules of BDSM in my humble opinion.

 

[Eloquent_Hedonist]

What you're describing sounds more like abuse than BDSM since you mentioned literally "forcing her".

This thread has taken a distinctly odd left turn, however it is nice to see you Supercollider! Hope you are well

 

[supercollider00]

Yeah it's a pretty bizarre turn on an important topic haha. I've been ok, thanks for asking. I hope things are well with you as well.

 

[Erosfan]

I am a big fan of being slutified as well, although often it's paired with sissification/feminisation which is less up my alley (pun intended).

I'm not into "sissification/feminisation" so much as I want to be whatever she wants, sexually. I am hers to do with as she wishes, anywhere, any time and she knows it. I said this on another discussion. I want to be her fantasy.