Metempsychosis

[a_libertine]

Closed for AngelofyourNighmares

"Do it Griff."

Griff looked up his sky blue eyes looking up at his boss and friend. "No Rob, I can't. It doesn't feel right. Carrie is only 10. I can't. "

"You can and will. You are paying for that dating site and yet never go on a date. I saw the picture of the latest woman remember? She is freaking gorgeous. Who knows why she isn't a movie star but she looks the part."

Griff shook his head, not sure any more. Internally it never felt right to go out and date, bringing a woman into his daughter's life. Yet when he said it out loud his mind realized how stupid, lame, and weak it sounded. None of those words described Griff. He was just shy of brilliant, worked hard and was driven, at 30 he was already a senior vice president of a large regional bank. "Maybe you are right," he half whispered.

Rob sensed his victory and said, "It is settled, my step daughter will be there tonight at 6:00 to watch Carrie while you are out."

"Fine. I am leaving at lunch, I want to get a run in prior to tonight."

Hours later Griff stood in front of the mirror looking at himself as he dressed. Standing just shy of six foot three, he weighed a light 180 pounds between the running and weight lifting at lunch it kept him in good shape. Salt and pepper hair caped his head in his normal disheveled stated.

The door bell rang jerking him back to the here and now. He heard his daughter scream "I got it!"

Huffing out a grin and yelled back, "I am coming. "

Griff headed down the stairs and nearly tumbled down the stairs. At the foot of the stairs impossibly was the spitting image of his long dead wife. White knuckled he held onto the bannister and croaked out, "Hi, I am Griff, and you met Carrie already."

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Alexis, most people just simply called her Alex or Lexi, she didn't care, all she knew is she was tired of her parents treating her like a damn kid, she was far from a child, dammit she was going to college, living in her own apartment slightly off campus, and was working two jobs, a part time waitress and now taking up baby sitting, she was after all going to school for child psychology, and she adored children, even being only 20 she was very mature well for the most part, she was still a virgin, and didn't have a lot of friends making herself more of a loner, worrying about her jobs, and her education, she was doing pretty good for herself, now if she could make her parents realize she wasn't a child, that would be a miracle in its own.

She was nervous, cause she was meeting with a new client, and most clients didn't like younger sitters, even if she was exceptional with children, always has been since she started baby sitting at 16 she knew she wanted nothing more than to be a caregiver someday, but when she got older, she really wanted to help children.

10 was a iffy age, she knew at that age children either thought she was to young, but once they got to know her most of the time they were really open, and she treated them like people not just kids that most adults just throw to the side, but this man seemed like a good dad or at least what she heard of him was all good.

She was so nervous as she drove her cheap old bug to his house, and he had quite a house, Alexis was far from poor but this was a different stature all together.

She grabbed her things and stepped out of her car, rubbed her now sweaty hands together and walked up to ring the door bell.

She had never been more nervous than this time, and she had no idea why after all... she smiled and finally rang the bell, as a cute little ten year old girl greeted her.http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25800000/Alexa-alexa-havins-25862831-240-320.jpg

 

[a_libertine]

Griff worked his way down the stairs not trusting his legs at the moment. "I won't be more than a couple of hours, it's, uuh, it's a first date." He handed her a business card and said, "My cell is on there, if anything comes up that..."

Griff shook his head, " I am sorry. My manners have taken flight. Of course you can handle anything that comes up. Your step father speaks highly of you, a veritable chorus of praise."

He waved off to the left, "The kitchen is off that way help yourself to whatever you would like to have. I also left some money so you can order something to be delivered. Carrie loves Chinese and pizza equally."

He turned to the right and said back there is a computer room, help yourself if Carrie gives you any space to get away."

He gnawed on the inside of his right cheek a moment then said, "Yeah well, have fun girls," then virtually bolted through the kitchen to the garage.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She smiled up at him as he started walking down the stairs. She looked at him kindly when he started to speak, he was a handsome man she thought to herself, and then wondered why she would have such a thought. She took the card from him gently and smiled once again. "Thank-you for having me, I appreciate you giving me a chance considering my age.''

She smiled at his comment, kinda surprised that her step-father would give her such compliments in the first place. ''Thank-you for that, I will be sure to thank him for his praise as well.'' She slightly giggles. ''Sorry, my parents are a little over protective guess I wasn't expecting him to say things like that.''

She looked to where he gestured and smiled softly, "Sounds good to me, thank-you again for giving me a chance." She glanced around his house, wondering if he had a rough divorce, cause her step-father hadn't really given her much insight about him, all she knew is he was going on a first date, much from him, and that he was a single dad, so she just assumed divorce.

She laughed at that. "I am sure me and Carrie will find a lot to do together, I am actually in school for child care, and psychology... not that, that makes a difference.'' And now I feel like a idiot, why the heck was she so nervous in the first place. ''Sorry I don't really know why I said that."

She smiled as he told them to have fun and watched as he vanished.

 

[a_libertine]

He knew it was the worst first and last, date in the history of dating. Everything came out of his mouth wrong, not even close to what he normally would have or could have said. He rationalized it to himself with the things one would have guessed. He had not dated in more than 12 years, he was rusty, he was worried how Carrie was doing with Alexis. Worried how Alexis was doing with Carrie and so on.

All lies he knew. He wasn't worried about Carrie, she had long been able to take care of herself for an hour or two. Truth be told he had been using her age as an excuse to not date. After all he was a runner and there was no way Carrie kept up on his Saturday runs with him. She did well running but no more than a 5K at a time, he didn't want her to hate running before she had a chance to love it.

The truth was simply Alexis herself. She looked so much like Rachel that it unnerved him. Same height, hair color, facial structure. She looked so much like Rachel and Carrie they all could be related. Most of the date was trying to figure out how to get Alexis to come around again, and frequently if he could muster it.

On the drive home a couple hours later his palms were clammy and his nerves were on fire. He pulled his 2010 BMW 750i into the garage and sat a moment. He got out of the car and headed into the kitchen. It was too early yet for Carrie to be in bed but she was likely in her room reading.

He walked in to the lights in the kitchen off. He found Alexis in the computer room her eyes intent on the screen and headphones over her ears masking the sounds of the house. He backed up a half step making it less likely she would see him and he watched her for a minute.

Turning he went upstairs to check on Carrie only to find her fast asleep. He stepped in and kissed her gently on the forehead and left again.

He went back down to the computer room to see Alexis still staring holes into the computer screen and cleared his thought, trying to get her attention. That failing , he asked, "How did it go?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She ordered a pizza shortly after Griff had left, Carrie was a delightful child, more mature than most at her young age, she was slightly worried about that, but then again she was mature for her age, but she was sure she wasn't that mature at the age of ten, it gt her thinking about Griff and wondered what made a child so mature, she sighed and stopped worrying about it.

They ate together and she would ask Carrie how she liked school, things that she was into, they even played a few games, and Carrie explained how she loved to read something her and Alexis had in common.

She and Carrie enjoyed a movi together, and Carrie seemed genuinly comfortable with her, and she was grateful for that, sometimes kids were quite iffy at that age, but Carrie wasn't. Carrie was probably the best child she had ever watched in her life, which shocked and made her happy all at the same time.

Carrie told Alexis to help herself to the computer room, that she was going to go read, Alexis was skeptical but she would check in on Carrie in a few moments.

She smiled as Carrie walked away and then she headed to the computer room, took her iphone out and turned on pandora and pulled up some of her work online to study for a few, she went and checked in Carrie whom had fallen asleep, she turned her light off and left the door cracked and headed back to the computer room.

She did not hear when Griff had gotten home, completely imersed in her school work.

She slightly jumped at his voice. "It was great, you have a wonderful daughter, you and her mother must be very proud."

 

[a_libertine]

Griff nodded as he listened to Alexis' statement. "Yeah, she would be. Care for a glass of wine or a beer?"

He walked across the room and poured himself a bourbon and her a glass of white wine. "Don't worry, I won't let you get drunk, and if you do you can stay in the spare room. Rob need not know."

Placing the glass in front of her he said, "You can keep at whatever you are working on, it seems important."

He strode across the room his head was swimming and his emotions were drowning in a memory of a ghost he had once loved with all his heart. Her death giving birth to Carrie had shocked him and the doctor alike. This is modern America where that wasn't supposed to happen anymore. Yet it had. He was shocked back into reality a few minutes later as the couch moved beside him and Alexis sat down, folding her legs underneath her. "Working on homework?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Would be Alexis thought to herself, she didn't comment, either it was a really bad divorce and or the mother wasn't coming around as often as she should.

She smiled when he offered her a drink, why not she thought to herself it wasn't as if soon she wouldn't be 21 anyway. ''Sure sounds good, but if my dad finds out he'll have both of our heads." She said with a giggle.

She looked up at him as he placed a glass of wine in front of her. "It's just a essay for class, its not due for another two weeks, I guess Im a little ambitious, or a nerd." She laughed.

She noticed he seemed a little taken aback, like he had some heavy burden on his shoulders, or as if something were on his mind, but she didnt put much thought into it, it wasnt her buisness anyway, she was the babysitter and they knew nothing of one another, and Alexis liked it that way, she didnt open up to a lot of people, she had one serious boyfriend she dated but because she wasn't ready to have sex he decided to go behind her back and sleep with her so called best friend, so she decided it best to focus on her classes, and her carrer, between work class and babysitting she didn't have time for anyone anyway.

She sat next to him not to close deciding it was time to leave soon.

 

[a_libertine]

He nodded, "I was the same in school, working into the wee hours of the night. Just not usually on Friday night." He grinned at he in a lopsided school boy manner his blue eyes flashing. "I thought Rob said you had a boyfriend? How come you aren't sprinting out of here to meet up with him?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She smiled and looked over at him, "I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, I don't have time for dating or much of anything else for that matter...." She wasn't going to go into details of why they broke up, or the fact she didn't plan to date for a very long time.

''What about you, how did the date go?"

 

[a_libertine]

Griff chortled at her question, replying, "I knew there was a reason to not date. Let's say that it was bad. Very bad."

He stood poured himself another bourbon and topped off her glass of wine. "Rob said something about you waiting tables, where do you work?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She smiled at his comment, and wondered why it went so wrong, he was handsome and seemed from the little she knew was a very good guy.

She sipped her wine, she rarely drank once in a while after a day of work, classes, the gym and studying she'd soak in a hot bubble bath and have a glass of wine.

"It's a little bistro, off of nine mostly college kids, cause its literally right downt the street, called Bellas Bitro, they actually have really nice food and drinks, there mochas are to die for." She said with a bright smile.

Her blond hair had fallen in her eye, and she pushed it back slightly.

"Your lucky to have a daughter like Carrie, she's sweet and more mature than most for her age.''

 

[a_libertine]

Griff mulled it over a moment and replied, "yes she is. Her mother died in child birth so it has been Carrie and I all along. "

He shifted uncomfortably a second then continued, "Right or not I have used her as a shield to protect me and her from dating people or more appropriately exposing her to the vagaries of dating. "

As he went Griff became more comfortable with the topic and continued, "Your step father has been on me for years to date, maybe five or so. He talked me into trying an online dating service, which is where I met the woman I took to dinner tonight." He grinned sheepishly and asked, "Too much?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She looked over at him gently, as he started to speak.... and what he told her stunned her, she felt like a fool now thinking he was going through some divorce, when in reality he had been through far worse. ''Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know." She felt like pod scum.

She understood protecting him and Carrie at the same time. "It may not be right, but your protecting your daughter and thats a admirable thing." She smiled tenderly at him, her face red blushing for some strange reason lord the man was ten years older than her, her fathers closest friend, and had a child, she wasn't sure how to act.

"Not at all my father can be a bit overwhelming but he really means well, and he considers you one of his closest friends, so I can see why he would want some happiness for you." She said with a smile.

"He might have a point, if Carries ten does that mean you haven't dated since you lost your wife?" She asked softly

 

[a_libertine]

Griff nodded, "Correct. Quite frankly I sort of forgot what it is like having a female, well, woman, in the house. Not that we were married all that long prior to Carries birth."

Griff sat there a moment and glanced a Alexis and before he could stop himself he swept her hair back behind her ear and caressed her neck in the same motion. As her realized what he had done, "Crap, I am sorry, I shouldn't have done that. "

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She smiled at him softly, and wondered what it was like being a single, working father, alone with no mother to help raise a child, she had to admit she was quite impressed and it took a lot to impress her.

She looked at him emotions flooding all over her, not like feelings, she had just met him after all and he was her fathers best friend, and he was also, older than her, obviously more worldly than her, and what kind of man would want a virgin, with trust issues? Not that it mattered it wasn't going to happen, she was sure neither of them would let it happen.

When he brushed her hair out of her face a shiver ran through her slightly, and she was shocked in her reaction, and shocked at his response.

"No harm, it was in my eyes.'' She said making a joke out of it.

 

[a_libertine]

Griff looked at her a moment then nodded. His mind raced for something, anything to talk to her, to keep her there longer. "Pardon me a moment," he muttered and headed to the restroom. Griff washed his face and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Twenty," he said. He knew the age to be correct and that part of his mind tried to reason with him. The problem was the part of his mind that was in charge kept seeing his dead wife, and he so desperately needed to hold her. Take her.

Sighing heavily he left the bathroom after drying his face and returned to the computer room.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She looked at him, he looked conflicted again, maybe her major made her read way to much into people. There was probably nothing at all wrong, it was just her mind playing games with her, but there was something about the way he looked at her, she thought back to the first time he seen her, it was as if he had seen a ghost... overthinking again..needs to stop she told herself.

She wondered what bothered him, and then wondered if it was something she said and she hoped not. She took a deep breath and stood up and walked to the window, it was getting late, and she had class she should probably say goodnight.

She didnt hear him come back into the room, as she looked out the window, confliction in her eyes, as she wondered what she should say, or how to sayd goodnight rather, and then realizing it wasn't that hard she had class in the morning.

 

[a_libertine]

Griff walked into the computer room and watched her for a moment or two. Walking forward he laid a hand on her shoulder and watched as she turned around. She struck him as besutiful, in her own right. In that moment at least he separated the two women from each other and realized that before him stood Rob ' s stepdaughter.

And Rob would kill him for getting her drunk. "Are you okay to drive? Maybe I should take you."

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

His view was spetacular and the evening was amazing, it was a bright full moon and she wondered why a man like him hadn't been snatched up, for if she trusted men, and she were a bit older perhaps she'd be a good canidate if he'd have her.

She jumped slightly as he touched her shoulder, ''Oh sorry I was admiring the view your home is really beautiful." She said softly wondering why she was feeling the way she was feeling.

She smiled at him softly but didn't say anything else until he spoke. "I think i'm okay but if you feel more comfortable, then feel free." She said softly and grinned at him.

 

[a_libertine]

Griff nodded, "Yes, actually I would feel better If I did." He turned and headed toward the kitchen. On the whiteboard he wrote a note for Carrie letting her know where he was in case she woke.

He opened the door to the garage and held it for Alexis; then he held the door of the car open for her and shut as she settled into it.

They chit chatted about everything and nothing as he took her home. Griff walked her to her door and asked Alexis, "What time should I pick you up to get your car?"

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She slightly laughed at him saying he would feel better if he took her home, but at the same time she felt safe.

She hated in a sense leaving because he and his daughter had made her feel so very welcome into there home.

She got to know little things about him, and for being older than her, she found herself extremely attracted to him.

"I have a early class but anytime after that would be fine, I finish at about 10, but whateveer time after that is good for me.''

 

[a_libertine]

He stood at the door with Alexis and made a mental note of the times she laid out. The lock of hair that always seemed to cover part of her face was back in its usual position. This time he was aware of what he was doing as he brushed it back behind her ear. "Whatever you do don't cut your hair. Like you its beautiful."

Alexis seemed to have leaned her head into his hand slightly and Griff whispered softly, "How about Carrie and I pick you up and take you to lunch."

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She smiled at him kindly as she looked at him, telling him the times that would be best. "But if it interferes with your work schedule or Carries school, then you just tell me whats best.'' She said and smiled.

Her heart was racing and she had no undertsanding of why.

She smiled lightly as he tucked her hair behind her ear once more. She blushed three shades of red, and her face became hot when he told her she was beautiful. Oh this wasn't good, this wasn't good at all.

She leaned into his hand gently, unsure really of why she did so.

"That would be great.'' SHe said sweetly, not thinking much of it.

 

[a_libertine]

Griff nodded and said, "See you tomorrow."

He turned and went back to his car chastising himself the whole way. "Stupid idiot he thought to himself, that is Rob ' s kid. You can't be calling her beautiful."

He drove home and about half way decided what was done was done and that it probably should never happen again. Rob would kill him.

Despite that as his eyes closed to sleep after he got home, his last thought was Alexis.