Mine doesn’t always work….

[FurryFury]

Absolutely.

With a menopause supplement my physiological sex drive re-awakened just a tiny bit.

Having the nearly 20 year old IUD yanked out and going on a low estrogen pill has bumped my body even more awake sexually. Yay!

Of course it might be helpful that you don't have something that you want to be up

 

[missgiter]

It depends on the porn. Some of that crap is just so stupid. Male or female porn. Or maybe I'm just picky.

You aren't the only one. Most of it I tend to just laugh at and approach the "are you fucking kidding me" factor.

 

[Shankara20]

Time to dust off this old thread as it is now "Mine does not work at all..."

Well, more-or-less not at all.

In Jan I have a prostatectomy to deal with prostate cancer. Prognosis is good for the elimination of cancer. Side effects include no longer being able to ejaculate ever again, long term difficulty achieving an erection and some loss of bladder control (although I am making progress thanks to my commitment to kegel exercises )

As my mind was not removed I'm still turned on by thoughts about sex - it is just the equipment that is not functioning. My MD and I are working to recover erection ability but this could take 6 to 18 months to become successful

It is very interesting that now the ability to orgasm is not connected to ejaculation. My MD told me of "dry orgasms", but ?????

So, while surfing porn about two weeks ago I lingered with my non-erect equipment and low-and-behold it started to feel very hot. No change in my non-erect status, but I bid achieve what was clearly an orgasm. Not real strong, but Woo-Hoo!

This has happened two more times. Pondering this change I reviewed my knowledge of male/female genital anatomy remembering that the clitoris and penis are generally the same anatomical structure so by stimulating my glans I can achieve something akin to a female orgasm. Erection not needed.

The getting hard again thing with be great, especially for Wife. But there are other ways to share the Joy.

Anyone have stories to share?

 

[twister947]

I cant believe I read the whole thing, but I'm glad I did. Found myself nodding my head in agreement several times.

On the topic of Viagra, et al, the side effects can be rough, but as noted, reduced doses can still provide the desired result, while mitigating those side effects. Viagra, for instance, is available in 25, 50, and 100mg pills, and I find the 25 satisfactory.

 

[Shankara20]

I cant believe I read the whole thing, but I'm glad I did. Found myself nodding my head in agreement several times.

On the topic of Viagra, et al, the side effects can be rough, but as noted, reduced doses can still provide the desired result, while mitigating those side effects. Viagra, for instance, is available in 25, 50, and 100mg pills, and I find the 25 satisfactory.

I'm glad you gave this topic a review. Some men don't want to deal with this, but it is just biology.

Before this recent event I found 50 mg worked nicely for me with tolerable side effects.

Right now I'm taking a 5 mg Cialis every other day to stimulate blood flow for healing. The lower back pain is much less with this low dose and appears to be diminishing with time. In two weeks my MD and I will reevaluate.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm glad you gave this topic a review. Some men don't want to deal with this, but it is just biology.

Before this recent event I found 50 mg worked nicely for me with tolerable side effects.

Right now I'm taking a 5 mg Cialis every other day to stimulate blood flow for healing. The lower back pain is much less with this low dose and appears to be diminishing with time. In two weeks my MD and I will reevaluate.

I'm glad you've got a plan and a sympathetic doc to help you get back into your groove.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Shankara20]

FYI - 6 months following my prostate surgery I have started using a medical grade penis pump daily to increase blood flow and eventually once again obtain an erection suitable for fucking...

We might even be giving it a test run this weekend.


6 months with out an erection is a loooong time...


On the other hand I have learned a lot about "dry" orgasms and for the first time in my life a vibrator has become a dear friend

 

[cascadiabound]

FYI - 6 months following my prostate surgery I have started using a medical grade penis pump daily to increase blood flow and eventually once again obtain an erection suitable for fucking...

We might even be giving it a test run this weekend.


6 months with out an erection is a loooong time...


On the other hand I have learned a lot about "dry" orgasms and for the first time in my life a vibrator has become a dear friend

wishing you the best of luck friend.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

wishing you the best of luck friend.

And wishing you the best of fucks, my friend

 

[Shankara20]

Well, darn....

I did not pump myself up hard enough - so penetration was not successful

Wife did O a couple of times, I got a bit stressed out and could not O myself, but still felt good nonetheless.

I give this round an 8.

After some rest time, I see if I can pump myself firmer, or use a smaller band to keep from loosing any firmness.

 

[JoanneA]

I've done that before and was quite surprised. It was the drugs I was on, I think. I looked around for it.

My babies.

 

[Shankara20]

Well, darn....

I did not pump myself up hard enough - so penetration was not successful

Wife did O a couple of times, I got a bit stressed out and could not O myself, but still felt good nonetheless.

I give this round an 8.

After some rest time, I see if I can pump myself firmer, or use a smaller band to keep from loosing any firmness.

It is now 4 months later. In another thread it was asked if anyone have fucked lately. This is my response:

Well FUCK

Hard-on Check (Thanks pump & pills) (Fucking funny story to follow)

Wife = The Big O Check

Me = The Big O Nope (vibrator just could not find that damned SPOT) (PS: Fuck You Cancer)

Overall Fuck rating 90% Damn Fine Fucking - So, what-the-fuck, an orgasm is just an orgasm.


Thanks folks for giving a fuck...


​

That post generated a request for a report of said fuck. (the thread is the "Fuck" thread over in the Cafe so "fuck" is used with abandon in posts, so... )

I posted a reply telling the story. It crossed my mind that it might be helpful here as this thread is meant to a place to discuss erection difficulties in a helpful way.
I am open to comments about male erection issues. I find it helpful to me to be able to talk openly about this.

Here is a link to that story LINK

 

[justonetesticle]

I have a small penis (1+1/2 inches flaccid; 3+1/2 inches erect) and just one, very small, testicle; and have suffered at various time in life from retarded ejaculation; premature ejaculation; and erectile dysfunction. So, no it doesn't always work and even when it does it isn't very big!

 

[Shankara20]

Previously...

I have ED following prostate removal surgery. I'm now 18 months out after surgery and been using a pump to get enough of an erection for penetration. To date I have been unable to orgasm while being sexual with my partner, partially due to the nature of the way I feel while pumped "up", as it were. I can work out an orgasm alone at times but would like to be able to share that with Wife. She can work up to several big-O's when I am pumped "up", so that is cool.

I am considering trying injections in place of the pump for several reasons including that I can stop using the "little blue pills" (no luck so far getting "up" with those alone) and they make me light headed. My Doc is cool setting me upon for TriMix and training any time now.

Any words of wisdom???

 

[cookiecat]

Injections are painful. I dated someone several years ago who injected his penis in order to maintain an erection. Penetration was a good thing, it took him some time to orgasm. But once he did, it was painful for him. Penis was uber sensitive and his erection wouldn't go away. You'd think that would be a good thing! It was annoying for both of us -- painful for him, sad for me because he got pretty cranky.

I'm not sure where he's at today and what his erection situation is now!! Ask about side effects. What kind of sensitivity issues occur after ejaculation? Will your erection go away?

Fast forward to me and mr. cookie. He's had ED since we met. He wanted to pursue ways to achieve an erection but we got so focused on outcome, it became a drag to have sex. I said fuck it!

We threw intercourse out the door and had a lot of fun trying every other way to feel fucked. He used a strap-on. I used one for the heck of it! He got lots of oral and prostrate monkey business. Yada yada.

He said hand jobs and oral felt excellent - just as if he had an erection. He still had sensation. I had to wrap my head around the fact it felt good for him even though he wasn't getting hard. I equated my sexual success with his hardness.

He could orgasm so that wasn't an issue.

Our sex life changed and his kinky lewd levels diminished so I was no longer distracted from the fact we weren't connected by penis/vag sex and that was tough.

For us, it was right to stop focusing on the erection as the goal. It got too frustrating. It did open the door to being more open and creative in finding ways to be penetrated.

 

[Shankara20]

For us, it was right to stop focusing on the erection as the goal. It got too frustrating. It did open the door to being more open and creative in finding ways to be penetrated.

For some reason I missed this from several days ago. Thanks for your POV.

 

[Shankara20]

Saw my Doc this afternoon and learned "hands on" to stick a needle in my dick. We started with a lowest dose of TriMix and once I get the script filled and pics up the injection tools I'll start increasing the dose a little each time until the right amount is reached. Wife went along and is rather excited about what this process might hold for us.

More info and things develop. As always, your insight is welcome.

 

[twister947]

I admire your openness and generosity in sharing this journey. Thank you.

 

[twister947]

Btw, sticking needles in your cock under medical supervision is kinda groovy.

 

[cookiecat]

Btw, sticking needles in your cock under medical supervision is kinda groovy.

haha! My ex who did this was super sadistic (which is part of the reason I liked him). I did get some secret satisfaction watching him put a needle in his dick after he'd been particularly cruel.

 

[cookiecat]

This is totally random and am unsure if this fits here. I'm hoping someone can talk me off the ledge.

My world is my husband - he has ALS - and I've been his full-time caregiver for the past 3 years. So I have a really limited world. I'm wondering if the following views are partially because I'm too hyper focused on being in caregiver mode. He's now in a nursing home, which, I think, has contributed to my warped perspective on ever having sex again.

The thought of ever being with someone else squicks me out. Not because I'll be forever loyal to the idea of mr. cookie. I've been loyal to him through all of this. I'll continue to choose NOT to fuck around as long as he's here with me. That is worthy of a whole 'nother thread... maybe if I did engage in some fuckery, some physical contact, I'd be over this?? That, however, is not my question. It's easier to be really black and white about that choice.

I've always assumed at some point, after mr. cookie is gone I'd jump back in to the penis/vagina fuck pool. Lately, though, the thought of exchanging blood sweat tears and fluids sends me in to a dry heave. I make the same face thinking of fucking as I do when I taste brussel sprouts.

sidebar: Thinking about the future in any way (work, sex, life without him) is guilt inducing and adds another layer of muck and confusion to this.

I think it's because I've dealt with so many unsavory, shitty things like shit, ear wax, boogers, drooling -- the decay of the physical body is overtaking my sex thoughts. I still get horny but sex with myself is a lot, ummm, cleaner. I like looking at porn. I still get those happy, clenchy feelings. In the past, I'd always put myself in those situation and think - this would be cool to try! Now, it's more clinical. Clean.

Being at the nursing home has put a spotlight on this -- the smells, the decay. Fears about growing old, maybe? Not sure. This funk seems to be more visceral.

Not having sex is lonely. I can testify to that. I don't want to be forever lonely. But more and more, this gross factor is creeping in to my brain and harming my fantasies.

Has anyone ever been in this situation? Am I just tired? Will I get over this??

 

[Farawyn]

This is totally random and am unsure if this fits here. I'm hoping someone can talk me off the ledge.

My world is my husband - he has ALS - and I've been his full-time caregiver for the past 3 years. So I have a really limited world. I'm wondering if the following views are partially because I'm too hyper focused on being in caregiver mode. He's now in a nursing home, which, I think, has contributed to my warped perspective on ever having sex again.

The thought of ever being with someone else squicks me out. Not because I'll be forever loyal to the idea of mr. cookie. I've been loyal to him through all of this. I'll continue to choose NOT to fuck around as long as he's here with me. That is worthy of a whole 'nother thread... maybe if I did engage in some fuckery, some physical contact, I'd be over this?? That, however, is not my question. It's easier to be really black and white about that choice.

I've always assumed at some point, after mr. cookie is gone I'd jump back in to the penis/vagina fuck pool. Lately, though, the thought of exchanging blood sweat tears and fluids sends me in to a dry heave. I make the same face thinking of fucking as I do when I taste brussel sprouts.

sidebar: Thinking about the future in any way (work, sex, life without him) is guilt inducing and adds another layer of muck and confusion to this.

I think it's because I've dealt with so many unsavory, shitty things like shit, ear wax, boogers, drooling -- the decay of the physical body is overtaking my sex thoughts. I still get horny but sex with myself is a lot, ummm, cleaner. I like looking at porn. I still get those happy, clenchy feelings. In the past, I'd always put myself in those situation and think - this would be cool to try! Now, it's more clinical. Clean.

Being at the nursing home has put a spotlight on this -- the smells, the decay. Fears about growing old, maybe? Not sure. This funk seems to be more visceral.

Not having sex is lonely. I can testify to that. I don't want to be forever lonely. But more and more, this gross factor is creeping in to my brain and harming my fantasies.

Has anyone ever been in this situation? Am I just tired? Will I get over this??

I think you will.
I think it has a lot to do with the object of your love and sex being the one that you are caring for. Physically, I mean. Physical care of someone else can be gross if you're not of that mindset. Then the emotions. He went from your Dom and husband to someone you have to help poo. The mind fuckery on that is just cruel. The sadness. The loss. The guilt.
How can this not play on you? How can this not put you off?

We are fluids and sweat and flaws and growths and scars and illness and cramps and pain and weakness and blood at times.
You are dealing with this on a CONSTANT BASIS. With the person you love.
It's more than many of us can handle.

Give it time, my sweet friend. You are sexy and loving and funny and smart.
You will find another way, someday. Maybe not like before, but you will. I'm certain of it.

 

[Farawyn]

Shank is The Man. I love that you share this. Thank you.

 

[cookiecat]

Give it time, my sweet friend. You are sexy and loving and funny and smart. You will find another way, someday. Maybe not like before, but you will. I'm certain of it.

Thanks.

The maybe not like before struck me. In the past I would've said I was a physical masochist. Now, those harder things do not appeal. I find myself going in to the Spread Everything thread and saying "no no no" to a lot of images I would've swooned over in the past.

Emotional masochism, emotional humiliation is appealing. I'm wondering why that is?

Anyways, thank you.