My first ever erotic poem

[GImik]

Hi guys, this is my first time posting and my first ever time asking anyone to read something I've written so please be gentle!

I've written a few non-erotic poems which I have published to this site (most still pending) but this is the one and only erotic style piece.

All critique wholly welcome!

https://www.literotica.com/p/rope-9

 

[spiidermonkey]

I'm no poetry critic, or literary critic of any kind for that matter. But I know what I like, and that poem reads very sexy to me. Vivid imagery.

 

[GImik]

I'm no poetry critic, or literary critic of any kind for that matter. But I know what I like, and that poem reads very sexy to me. Vivid imagery.

Thank you ever so much, that comment has made my day

 

[SmilingLez]

Hi guys, this is my first time posting and my first ever time asking anyone to read something I've written so please be gentle!

I've written a few non-erotic poems which I have published to this site (most still pending) but this is the one and only erotic style piece.

All critique wholly welcome!

https://www.literotica.com/p/rope-9

My fave - The Fear

Most meaningful line - "You have boldly declared "Fucking love you", But do you realise you've forgotten the 'I'?"

 

[GImik]

My fave - The Fear

Most meaningful line - "You have boldly declared "Fucking love you", But do you realise you've forgotten the 'I'?"

Thank you That's my favourite line - for how often do we forget the importance of owning our words?

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Loved reading them all.

---
You say it's to me your heart will defer,
But still you avoid making her cry.
---

What a fucking warhead of a line...

There is an Urdu word called tadap. Loosely translated, it means painful intense longing, and your poems have that in their soul.

If there is one suggestion I may offer, please consider tightening your flow a little. The core of your poems burns bright, and fewer loose words might emphasize the intensity with more clarity.

 

[GImik]

Loved reading them all.

---
You say it's to me your heart will defer,
But still you avoid making her cry.
---

What a fucking warhead of a line...

There is an Urdu word called tadap. Loosely translated, it means painful intense longing, and your poems have that in their soul.

If there is one suggestion I may offer, please consider tightening your flow a little. The core of your poems burns bright, and fewer loose words might emphasize the intensity with more clarity.

This comment made me smile so thank you ever so much!

The impression of true longing is something I'd hoped to convey, so hearing someone say that they get that from them is a huge compliment.

I do struggle hugely with flow, the emotion comes easily to me but consolidating that into concise lines isn't quite as simple!

 

[calmlikeabomb]

This comment made me smile so thank you ever so much!

The impression of true longing is something I'd hoped to convey, so hearing someone say that they get that from them is a huge compliment.

I do struggle hugely with flow, the emotion comes easily to me but consolidating that into concise lines isn't quite as simple!

You are gonna be awesome. Keep writing and rewriting, and you will get so much better over time, that it won't just be simple, it will become second nature.

 

[GImik]

You are gonna be awesome. Keep writing and rewriting, and you will get so much better over time, that it won't just be simple, it will become second nature.

I really appreciate the comments, thank you again. I will keep at it!