My journey

[naxalite0906]

*smiles*

I am glad to see your journey is going well..... I hope it continues to be like that too..

Nice av too, but i see I am not the only one who thinks so

 

[sexycaz22]

*smiles*

I am glad to see your journey is going well..... I hope it continues to be like that too..

Nice av too, but i see I am not the only one who thinks so

Thank you, it's very kind of you to say so, Nax!

Yes, I hope the journey is going well and that it is going to get better, beyonds my dreams!

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Notice that it is so shiny you could say it glows....

 

[sexycaz22]

Notice that it is so shiny you could say it glows....

Yep, it was glowing with a lovely rogue colour...but right now, the ass cheeks are fading....

But had an offer to go back for a second spanking this weekend with ~A...but dammit, I have plans....*groans!!* Oh why?????

Been feeling a bit low yesterday and today....already I miss the spankings and the snuggling up at the end. It just hit me, how much I enjoyed the spankings, and that I really, really need another one. The emotions are going through me, at the moment, and feeling a bit disassociated etc....

I wonder...is this the 'sub drop' everyone were talking about?

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I wonder...is this the 'sub drop' everyone were talking about?

Sounds like it.

I'd offer you a hug.. but I think that is A's job now. But I will give you an affectionate squeeze if I'm still allowed.

((Caz))

 

[sexycaz22]

Sounds like it.

I'd offer you a hug.. but I think that is A's job now. But I will give you an affectionate squeeze if I'm still allowed.

((Caz))

Chris, a hug from you is ALLOWED! I am not ~A's sub, and I don't think I will ever be his, he is a good friend which might spank me occasionally!

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[Chris_Xavier]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CAZ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


runs hands down to your bottom.. hmmmm.. kinda cold down there..

 

[sexycaz22]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CAZ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


runs hands down to your bottom.. hmmmm.. kinda cold down there..

Thank you.....

Wait.....what are your hands doing down there?

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Wait.....what are your hands doing down there?

I thought you knew I was a perv...

 

[sexycaz22]

I thought you knew I was a perv...

I knew you were a perv....but shhhh....I don't want them to know that I know you know that I know you.....wait...I am lost!

 

[SubKekiLee]

Congrats Caz I am sorry I hadnt posted sooner I had been busy with MyD since Saturday and then entertaining friends and then Him again today but I am so glad to see you enjoyed yourself.. I know your feeling about not sitting down as that is me after Saturday and today..)
{{{{caz}}}}}}}}

 

[sexycaz22]

Just a little update.....

Going for a second helping of a lovely spanking with ~A tonight!

Then going for a coffee with a lovely Dom who is nearer my age tomorrow afternoon; we met through CollarMe. So a blind date! *laughs*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ever since last Friday, when I had my first spanking, I felt so disassociated and feeling a bit low mainly because I realised that the kinky side is WHO I AM - I mean the REAL me. Because when I was spanked by ~A, I felt so happy, I was kinda floating on clouds and the pain sensations did make me feel more de-stressed; and for two days, I was on cloud nine then on Monday, the world came crashing down on me, and I realised that nobody knew the real me, that none of my "vanilla" friends did not know about my kinky side; especially a couple of my really, really good and closest friends.

But, I am so happy today, is in a good mood - because I finally told my really good friend who I knew for a good few years, and she was fine about it. She said, that she was not really surprised, and that if I was happy then she is happy for me. She even said that she has noticed that I have became more confident and more happier. And I am so happy that she knows about it. I was really scared that I would lose our friendship for good, but I am glad I have made the decision to tell her! She even went on to tell me that one of her friends is also into this kind of thing, and that the friend is deaf also! I don't know who it is, although I do have a suspicion, but I am glad to know that there ARE some deaf people out there who have similar interests as me!

So, a question for PYLs and pyls;

Do any of your friends or family know about your "strange" interests? What were their reactions? Did you lose anyone because of their not understanding why you have interests in the BDSM?

 

[SubKekiLee]

Just a little update.....

Going for a second helping of a lovely spanking with ~A tonight!

Then going for a coffee with a lovely Dom who is nearer my age tomorrow afternoon; we met through CollarMe. So a blind date! *laughs*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ever since last Friday, when I had my first spanking, I felt so disassociated and feeling a bit low mainly because I realised that the kinky side is WHO I AM - I mean the REAL me. Because when I was spanked by ~A, I felt so happy, I was kinda floating on clouds and the pain sensations did make me feel more de-stressed; and for two days, I was on cloud nine then on Monday, the world came crashing down on me, and I realised that nobody knew the real me, that none of my "vanilla" friends did not know about my kinky side; especially a couple of my really, really good and closest friends.

But, I am so happy today, is in a good mood - because I finally told my really good friend who I knew for a good few years, and she was fine about it. She said, that she was not really surprised, and that if I was happy then she is happy for me. She even said that she has noticed that I have became more confident and more happier. And I am so happy that she knows about it. I was really scared that I would lose our friendship for good, but I am glad I have made the decision to tell her! She even went on to tell me that one of her friends is also into this kind of thing, and that the friend is deaf also! I don't know who it is, although I do have a suspicion, but I am glad to know that there ARE some deaf people out there who have similar interests as me!

So, a question for PYLs and pyls;

Do any of your friends or family know about your "strange" interests? What were their reactions? Did you lose anyone because of their not understanding why you have interests in the BDSM?

I have a few close friends who know but most of my friends dont know Caz they wouldnt understand.. you have to introduce it slowly I think... Im happy you are getting out and meeting people and that your gonna see A again... I am hoping to see mine tonight as well. and let us know how the blind date goes..=0)

 

[ShyVixen]

Just a little update.....

Going for a second helping of a lovely spanking with ~A tonight!

Then going for a coffee with a lovely Dom who is nearer my age tomorrow afternoon; we met through CollarMe. So a blind date! *laughs*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ever since last Friday, when I had my first spanking, I felt so disassociated and feeling a bit low mainly because I realised that the kinky side is WHO I AM - I mean the REAL me. Because when I was spanked by ~A, I felt so happy, I was kinda floating on clouds and the pain sensations did make me feel more de-stressed; and for two days, I was on cloud nine then on Monday, the world came crashing down on me, and I realised that nobody knew the real me, that none of my "vanilla" friends did not know about my kinky side; especially a couple of my really, really good and closest friends.

But, I am so happy today, is in a good mood - because I finally told my really good friend who I knew for a good few years, and she was fine about it. She said, that she was not really surprised, and that if I was happy then she is happy for me. She even said that she has noticed that I have became more confident and more happier. And I am so happy that she knows about it. I was really scared that I would lose our friendship for good, but I am glad I have made the decision to tell her! She even went on to tell me that one of her friends is also into this kind of thing, and that the friend is deaf also! I don't know who it is, although I do have a suspicion, but I am glad to know that there ARE some deaf people out there who have similar interests as me!

So, a question for PYLs and pyls;

Do any of your friends or family know about your "strange" interests? What were their reactions? Did you lose anyone because of their not understanding why you have interests in the BDSM?

Caz, it sounds like your journey is going wonderfully. I'm so happy for you! ((hugs)) Ohhh, a blind date and a spanking?! You lucky thing! Enjoy! I know you will

None of my friends or family know about my interests. I think my family would be fine with it, I'm sure my friends wouldn't take to it too well.

 

[the captians wench]

So, a question for PYLs and pyls;

Do any of your friends or family know about your "strange" interests? What were their reactions? Did you lose anyone because of their not understanding why you have interests in the BDSM?

See my "I think I'm turning my mom kinky" thread.

My mom knows everything, and now she's kind of exploring parts of s&m. We talk very openly, she tells me when she's ready to dive a little deeper into my world, and when she's happy with the amount she knows. But it wasn't always like this.

When I first started getting into bdsm, my mom was all against it. She saw it as nothing but an excuse for some asshole to use to be able to abuse me. She hated my collar, and refused to even speak to me if I was wearing it. But she knew that I had to learn on my own who and what I want to be. Since we've always had an open relationship, it was easy for me to keep her informed on what was going on, and that made her happy and helped her to come to terms with my choice. She's still not a fan of D/s and she still thinks that I take s&m too far, but she doesn't worry about me quite as much as she once did.

I usually wear my collar all the time, and some times my cuffs, so my family have all seen them, tho they think that I'm just going thru some sort of faze with all this goth stuff. And that's fine with me. Some of them know what it means, my great grandma called me out on it one day. (now that's an interesting discovery, finding out your 90year old great grandma is kinky). She looks at me one day and looks to my grandpa and says "who's got her locked up so tight?" (incert wenchie's blushing from head to toe look here) my grandpa replys "I don't know who the guy is" in a real grumpy mannor. So I know he knows what it means too, but he won't ask about it.

I've also had "accedents" where I forgot about a bruse and it was visable to family memebers.

My brother and his family know what I'm into, just not the details like mom does. My brother is embarassed by it, while my sister in law is all questions. And my niece won't speak to me unless I'm wearing my collar. My nephew thinks my collar is cool as hell, but doesn't understand why I would want to wear a dog collar. You learn to choose your words carefully with 5 year olds. "I wear it because some one gave it to me and it means a lot to me, it makes me happy to wear it", that pretty much satisfies him.

Most of my friends know, of course I met most of them at the place where I sold my costumes, so most of them have been there to open my eyes a bit.

I didn't really have to worry about loosing anyone. I knew either my mom would get over it or she would just ignore it. I think I've been lucky that way. I've read a lot of stories from people here who say that they feel so alone because no one would understand so they have no one in r/l to talk to. I have a great suport system. And I think that made my start into self discovery easier.

 

[subtleone]

To answer your question Caz

I've told no-one about the dynamic change in our marriage - the really kinky stuff kinda falls into the 'it's our sex life & we're British and don't discuss such things' category and the dynamic itself doesn't get discussed (well occasionally Sir will tell my friends/family that the reason we're so happy is because a good beating once a week keeps me in my place - but I don't think they believe him *giggles*)
If I thought people would just accept it and move on I'd happily drop it into the conversation but unfortunately there are an awful lot of reasons why this would simply not work in my life, sort of the same reasons I cannot go to work with green hair and a mini skirt

ETA: Really hope the date works out

 

[northwoods_sub]

family and friends

Nobody knows about the change in our marriage. I completely relate to how you feel though Caz. I feel like I am lying to everyone, I finally feel complete and I don't have anyone to tell why there has been such a big change in how I feel.
My mom would never understand, hell my stepdad would probably arrest my Husband if they knew.
My dad and stepmom might understand but I am not ready to tell them anything yet.

Since I have no one to talk to this about in RL I spend a lot of time here on lit. I feel comfortable here with people who understand who I am more than by bestest friends. Maybe soon I will feel more comfortable talking to others but not yet.

 

[DVS]

Nobody knows about the change in our marriage. I completely relate to how you feel though Caz. I feel like I am lying to everyone, I finally feel complete and I don't have anyone to tell why there has been such a big change in how I feel.
My mom would never understand, hell my stepdad would probably arrest my Husband if they knew.
My dad and stepmom might understand but I am not ready to tell them anything yet.

Since I have no one to talk to this about in RL I spend a lot of time here on lit. I feel comfortable here with people who understand who I am more than by bestest friends. Maybe soon I will feel more comfortable talking to others but not yet.

Welcome to the real world. I have kinky friends and I have vanilla friends. It's just sad that my oldest usually most trusted friends are the vanilla friends. My newest friends, the kinky ones, are obviously the ones I can tell anything to.

Some people are just born judgemental, and you can't do anything about it. Shit, as an example, my sisters will go to a family dinner and spend the day talking to all of the relatives and seemingly having fun. Then, they trash a lot of them for how they looked, their new husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends, the weight they'd gained, or even the clothes they wore, on the way home.
It's amazing how many they can talk about in an hour's drive.

You really have to watch who you confide in. You might think you can trust someone, but it can all backfire on you, too. And, something like this can end up hurting your family life...your job...just because you are a little kinky. That's why I have vanilla friends and kinky friends.

 

[sexycaz22]

First of all, I wanted to say thank you to those who have replied to my question:

SubKekiLee
ShyVixen
the captians wench
subtleone
northwoods_sub
DVS

Thank you all for your answers/comments - I appreciate it, and it is really nice to hear other experiences similar to mine!

A special note to Wenchie - I have to say, that you are a very lucky girl to have an open relationship with your mother, and I have enjoyed reading your threads, always...and I loved hearing about your stories about your niece, I thought that was really fabulous and funny! I don't think my mum will ever understand my kinky side, but then she might prove me wrong, one day!

_________________________________________________

Last night, with ~A was brilliant, I ended up staying overnight. *blush* We had some nice spankings but at the end, we went further than just cuddling up, we played with each other (no inmate details here! But if you want to know more..PM me ) and it was really nice waking up besides him!

In about an hour, I am off on my blind date - I hope it will go well. I will be back tonight to tell you all about the blind date!

 

[SubKekiLee]

Your welcome Caz.... I am glad it went well... I got to see mine last night but he got called out to work so I THINK we are gonna try again to see if we can do it again and not get interupted..... Good luck on your blind date

 

[sexycaz22]

Your welcome Caz.... I am glad it went well... I got to see mine last night but he got called out to work so I THINK we are gonna try again to see if we can do it again and not get interupted..... Good luck on your blind date

Oh, no! Sorry to hear that. Hope next time, you won't get interrupted!

____________________

The blind date went well, some nice chats about the BDSM, how we first started out, and I explained about my experiences etc. We also talked about books and movies etc. It was nice.

Unfortunately he had to work early tomorrow so he had to go. It wasn't as long as I thought, but the chats were flowing and we found some similar interests in common.

Who knows........?

 

[naxalite0906]

Last night, with ~A was brilliant, I ended up staying overnight. *blush* We had some nice spankings but at the end, we went further than just cuddling up, we played with each other (no inmate details here! But if you want to know more..PM me ) and it was really nice waking up besides him!

In about an hour, I am off on my blind date - I hope it will go well. I will be back tonight to tell you all about the blind date!

You know you wanna spill the dirt hehe...

I am glad things are going well for you Caz... you deserve to be happy and to have fun

 

[sexycaz22]

You know you wanna spill the dirt hehe...

I am glad things are going well for you Caz... you deserve to be happy and to have fun

Thanks, I am more happier than before, not feeling so low anymore...feeling more cheerful and more myself!

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Thanks, I am more happier than before, not feeling so low anymore...feeling more cheerful and more myself!

You were lost and now you are found?

 

[ShyVixen]

_________________________________________________

Last night, with ~A was brilliant, I ended up staying overnight. *blush* We had some nice spankings but at the end, we went further than just cuddling up, we played with each other (no inmate details here! But if you want to know more..PM me ) and it was really nice waking up besides him!

In about an hour, I am off on my blind date - I hope it will go well. I will be back tonight to tell you all about the blind date!

*raises hand and jumps up* oh, oh I want to know details lol

Seriously, many many congratulations! Sounds like you are having a wonderful time on your journey