My life is miserable - Thoughts from a sub

[richard_daily]

Im sitting right now in my car I just wanna share my feelings to a bunch of strangers...Dont ask me why!
I feel depressed / miserable I think that it doesnt matter if I die because I know my life will be shitty forever.
Im an extreme submissive to women with strong foot fetish I cant have vanilla relationship I cant have sex in the normal way I tried alot and I failed..I only get hard when I feel humialted specially under a domme feet.

All the dommes I have met are sluts who do this only for money most of them are not even true dominant.. I had a D/S relationship with some woman who happened to be a true sadist/domme..I was so happy with her I fell in love with her and I was devoted for her..but recently I discovered that she cheats on me and she does sessions with other guys. Now my heart is broken I know its very hard ro find a true dominant who would commit a BDSM relationship.

I want to talk about another thing which is I just hate the idea that some women take advantage of the need of the the submissive and take high rates of money per 1 hr for the sessions to do what the submissive need and like I said before they are not even true dommes they just want cash....Why?? We dont need more suffering!!

My point is I as a sub suffer from my twisted desires besides, I cant do normal sex..so ...I dont know I just want to end my post with Mike Tyson quote:

I'll never be happy. I believe I'll die alone. I would want it that way. I've been a loner all my life with my secrets and my pain. I'm really lost, but I'm trying to find myself. I'm really a sad, pathetic case. My whole life has been a waste. I've been a failure. I just want to escape.

Thanks for letting me share

There is something wrong with you, but that something isn't submission.

From this post, you sound angry and depressed. I'd recommend getting some therapy from someone who is kink-friendly and when you find another person who will engage with you in the way you want, set realistic expectations. If you're just starting to date someone, don't expect that they won't see someone else.

If you say your Domme "cheated on you", did you have an exclusive relationship? Was that a conversation that you had explicitly had, or was that based on assumptions?

Have good communication, and relax a little bit. Sometimes people are varied and complex. I have dated a lot of switches women, and while I am drawn to the submissive aspects, I don't consider them "less submissive" because they sometimes engage in dominant behavior with others. Calling them "fake" would only serve to further isolate myself if I was having trouble finding partners.

Accept that not everyone is here to cater to your needs, and just because others aren't doing it exactly the way that you want them to, doesn't mean that they're doing it wrong.

 

[Tristan861]

If you say your Domme "cheated on you", did you have an exclusive relationship? Was that a conversation that you had explicitly had, or was that based on assumptions?

Since you brought this up; Yes, that was based on assumptions. Now I can tell that '' I'm her primary source '', not her ''only source''.

Love in M/s relationship is complicated in my opinion, or maybe I made it complicated because I fell in love with her and after I fell in love with her I became completely devoted to her and my submission to her became more and more. She's a very strict dominant, we have been knowing each other for 3 years, and having a ''slave'' is essential in her life and if she had to chose between vanilla and BDSM relationship she would go for the BDSM [She told me that]. We have a very strong relationship with each other, we talk/text each other almost every day and see each other almost every week. She wants me to address her as ''mistress'' , I don't call her by her name.

She tells me that I'm her slave and her dear friend at the same time... She Never confessed that she ''loves'' me though, personally I guess because she thinks that addressing this verbally will make her lose a bit control over me and she's as I said before an extreme dominant... but I'm sure she does love me back (maybe not romantic love, but love comes in many forms anyway).

How do I know for sure that she sees other guys? I just know. Once we talked about it and she said: '' I don't want to talk about it, I will just tell you that there is something that you cant give it to more than one person at the same time''. probably she meant her heart, that's why I'm assuming I'm her ''primary'' and not her only partner.

Besides that, she's very conservative in telling details about her life, she doesn't like to talk about it. I as her slave thought that I should compromise a little bit but no, not anymore.

Maybe some people would ask what do I want from her? the answer is I wanted to be her only one just like she was my only one. anyways that doesn't matter anymore.


Back to the main subject here, currently I don't have energy to get a therapy now, but in the near future I should get one and like most people advised me here maybe I should look for a girlfriend not a dominant then telling her about my kinks and yes I should try my best to minimize my fetish.. who knows maybe it works!!

 

[Brian70]

Im sitting right now in my car I just wanna share my feelings to a bunch of strangers...Dont ask me why!
I feel depressed / miserable I think that it doesnt matter if I die because I know my life will be shitty forever.
Im an extreme submissive to women with strong foot fetish I cant have vanilla relationship I cant have sex in the normal way I tried alot and I failed..I only get hard when I feel humialted specially under a domme feet.

All the dommes I have met are sluts who do this only for money most of them are not even true dominant.. I had a D/S relationship with some woman who happened to be a true sadist/domme..I was so happy with her I fell in love with her and I was devoted for her..but recently I discovered that she cheats on me and she does sessions with other guys. Now my heart is broken I know its very hard ro find a true dominant who would commit a BDSM relationship.

I want to talk about another thing which is I just hate the idea that some women take advantage of the need of the the submissive and take high rates of money per 1 hr for the sessions to do what the submissive need and like I said before they are not even true dommes they just want cash....Why?? We dont need more suffering!!

My point is I as a sub suffer from my twisted desires besides, I cant do normal sex..so ...I dont know I just want to end my post with Mike Tyson quote:

I'll never be happy. I believe I'll die alone. I would want it that way. I've been a loner all my life with my secrets and my pain. I'm really lost, but I'm trying to find myself. I'm really a sad, pathetic case. My whole life has been a waste. I've been a failure. I just want to escape.

Thanks for letting me share

Hi Tristan, there's nothing wrong with you. We all have our own journey to follow. Normal isn't normal.

 

[richard_daily]

Since you brought this up; Yes, that was based on assumptions. Now I can tell that '' I'm her primary source '', not her ''only source''.

Love in M/s relationship is complicated in my opinion, or maybe I made it complicated because I fell in love with her and after I fell in love with her I became completely devoted to her and my submission to her became more and more. She's a very strict dominant, we have been knowing each other for 3 years, and having a ''slave'' is essential in her life and if she had to chose between vanilla and BDSM relationship she would go for the BDSM [She told me that]. We have a very strong relationship with each other, we talk/text each other almost every day and see each other almost every week. She wants me to address her as ''mistress'' , I don't call her by her name.

She tells me that I'm her slave and her dear friend at the same time... She Never confessed that she ''loves'' me though, personally I guess because she thinks that addressing this verbally will make her lose a bit control over me and she's as I said before an extreme dominant... but I'm sure she does love me back (maybe not romantic love, but love comes in many forms anyway).

How do I know for sure that she sees other guys? I just know. Once we talked about it and she said: '' I don't want to talk about it, I will just tell you that there is something that you cant give it to more than one person at the same time''. probably she meant her heart, that's why I'm assuming I'm her ''primary'' and not her only partner.

Besides that, she's very conservative in telling details about her life, she doesn't like to talk about it. I as her slave thought that I should compromise a little bit but no, not anymore.

Maybe some people would ask what do I want from her? the answer is I wanted to be her only one just like she was my only one. anyways that doesn't matter anymore.


Back to the main subject here, currently I don't have energy to get a therapy now, but in the near future I should get one and like most people advised me here maybe I should look for a girlfriend not a dominant then telling her about my kinks and yes I should try my best to minimize my fetish.. who knows maybe it works!!

Love in an M/s relationship isn't complicated. Left of slash folks are just as capable of love as those right of slash.

The way it's expressed can take a variety of details, but I want to highlight a huge assumption that you made, and that you're basing a lot of your viewpoints on why she "was a slut"...

She never "confessed" that she loves you. There may be a simple reason for this. Maybe she didn't? You can have a relationship for 3 years and not be in love with the other person. That's not a relationship that I'd ever want, but perhaps she WAS only able to love 1 person, and maybe that person wasn't you?

You will never know, because you didn't have the conversation, so making assumptions now are beyond pointless.

You're absolutely right about one thing... as a slave, you shouldn't compromise. You should get what you want. From my experience, the only way to do that is to figure out what it is that you want, communicate it to you partner/s, and negotiate how to get it with them (rather than from them).

Again, I don't think your problem is your kink or fetish... I think it's depression and other mental health issues. I'd work on that as a top priority if I were you.... It will make all the other things a lot easier.