BrianCaster
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2009
- Posts
- 315
I remember that I had many true friends during primary and high school days. At that time I couldn’t understand their love. Even I ignored them completely. It is one of my biggest mistakes of my life. One reason behind this is, I couldn’t need anyone that time and I was lacking maturity. I was too absorbed in my family problems. Now I can feel that it was my mistake.
In 11th standard I felt the need of good friend. I wanted to gain love and care which I think my parents never give me. I can say, I had the thirst of love (which is unquenchable now). I remember that I was attracted by a classmate. His name was Bein. Whenever I saw him, my love fountains started to sprinkle. I felt that we had the relation of many lives. I tried him till 12th, but…
I remember the beginning day of 11th standard. He and his friends abused me on a public road. Later he told me some slang words also. But I didn’t concentrate on that because I internally love him and spelled bound by his charm. I had a faith in my heart that, one day he would become my best fried. By God’s grace, day by day his behaviour changed and became friendly towards me. One day he claimed that, you are my best friend. The pleasure of that time I can’t express in words. I thanked God also for giving me this friend. I was studying in science stream, but whole day I thought about him. I always pondered on him that how I could reduce the farness between us. If I was on road, I wished that he met me and we exchanged smile. During night I wished that in embracing position, we slept together without any clothes on our body and we enjoyed sex. I wished that he kissed me whole night till I became wet. I wanted to see him naked and what types of brief he wore. I wished to take bathe with him and we rinsed each other’s body. I wished to cut each other’s hair near our sexual organs. I wished that we would enjoy the like till our last breathe of the life. I never wanted to part with him. But it never became true. I hadn’t enough courage to propose him for live with each other. I thought that God might communicate my thoughts to him and he would offer me one day. But according to my knowledge, he was not complete homosexual. He interested in girls and their breasts only. When he was talking to our girl classmates, he tried to ignore me. If a girl smiled towards him, he forgot me.
During the chemistry practical, he came near me sometimes. I felt that because our intimacy, he came. But this was wrong. He came near me because my neighbour in practical was an attractive girl and by using me he flirted with her. As I knew this, I really disappointed. He had another close friend also. He loved him greater than me. They met each other’s home and also enjoyed parties at their homes, but he never invited me in his birth party. Sometime I felt that he played with my sentiments. But I couldn’t see anything except him. When teacher studied us, I always stared at him to get a smile. But he never cared about me. I couldn’t concentrate in my study. My whole mind obsessed about him day and night. I watched my self with him in dream and reverie.
I prayed God, please give me one chance to prove my self, but it never happened. I imagined that he met with an accident and he had to deal with scoundrels with whom accident was happened. Then they tried to thrash my friend. But at that time I reached there and we both thrashed those scoundrels and our love increased.
In annual exam, I failed in all science subjects. I desired that I got good percentage and we would get admission in the same college and hostels. Then we would thoroughly enjoy our life. As I failed, I tried to forget him. By God’s grace I succeeded.
I am still finding a person who loves me, who cares me and who never deserts me. I am of twenty five years old, so maturity come, but hunger of love is not satisfied. If one loves me then I promise to cut whole life with him. I doesn’t interested in age. It may be twenty or sixty years. My sole interest is indescribable love. I desire to attain love which I never get and also give love to my companion. Do you be my partner?
[/SIZE][/SIZE]
In 11th standard I felt the need of good friend. I wanted to gain love and care which I think my parents never give me. I can say, I had the thirst of love (which is unquenchable now). I remember that I was attracted by a classmate. His name was Bein. Whenever I saw him, my love fountains started to sprinkle. I felt that we had the relation of many lives. I tried him till 12th, but…
I remember the beginning day of 11th standard. He and his friends abused me on a public road. Later he told me some slang words also. But I didn’t concentrate on that because I internally love him and spelled bound by his charm. I had a faith in my heart that, one day he would become my best fried. By God’s grace, day by day his behaviour changed and became friendly towards me. One day he claimed that, you are my best friend. The pleasure of that time I can’t express in words. I thanked God also for giving me this friend. I was studying in science stream, but whole day I thought about him. I always pondered on him that how I could reduce the farness between us. If I was on road, I wished that he met me and we exchanged smile. During night I wished that in embracing position, we slept together without any clothes on our body and we enjoyed sex. I wished that he kissed me whole night till I became wet. I wanted to see him naked and what types of brief he wore. I wished to take bathe with him and we rinsed each other’s body. I wished to cut each other’s hair near our sexual organs. I wished that we would enjoy the like till our last breathe of the life. I never wanted to part with him. But it never became true. I hadn’t enough courage to propose him for live with each other. I thought that God might communicate my thoughts to him and he would offer me one day. But according to my knowledge, he was not complete homosexual. He interested in girls and their breasts only. When he was talking to our girl classmates, he tried to ignore me. If a girl smiled towards him, he forgot me.
During the chemistry practical, he came near me sometimes. I felt that because our intimacy, he came. But this was wrong. He came near me because my neighbour in practical was an attractive girl and by using me he flirted with her. As I knew this, I really disappointed. He had another close friend also. He loved him greater than me. They met each other’s home and also enjoyed parties at their homes, but he never invited me in his birth party. Sometime I felt that he played with my sentiments. But I couldn’t see anything except him. When teacher studied us, I always stared at him to get a smile. But he never cared about me. I couldn’t concentrate in my study. My whole mind obsessed about him day and night. I watched my self with him in dream and reverie.
I prayed God, please give me one chance to prove my self, but it never happened. I imagined that he met with an accident and he had to deal with scoundrels with whom accident was happened. Then they tried to thrash my friend. But at that time I reached there and we both thrashed those scoundrels and our love increased.
In annual exam, I failed in all science subjects. I desired that I got good percentage and we would get admission in the same college and hostels. Then we would thoroughly enjoy our life. As I failed, I tried to forget him. By God’s grace I succeeded.
I am still finding a person who loves me, who cares me and who never deserts me. I am of twenty five years old, so maturity come, but hunger of love is not satisfied. If one loves me then I promise to cut whole life with him. I doesn’t interested in age. It may be twenty or sixty years. My sole interest is indescribable love. I desire to attain love which I never get and also give love to my companion. Do you be my partner?
[/SIZE][/SIZE]
