Naoko's news, views and shoes thread

[oggbashan]

Naoko, what is the difference between a dating site and Lit? It doesn't cost a cent to meet and get to know interesting, available, intelligent, sensitive, 'real' men.

And some of us who have met the real Naoko are old enough to be her father.

As well as being happily married - and Naoko knows we are.

But we love her, and her legs.

x 4

 

[Handley_Page]

And some of us who have met the real Naoko are old enough to be her father.

As well as being happily married - and Naoko knows we are.

But we love her, and her legs.

x 4

Amen to that.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Awww, thanks guys

Yes, Michael , it's the distance. I dunno, I just have this whim to meet an interesting, available, intelligent, sensitive, real man in the flesh. To actually be bought a real drink - OK, I got that one, but it would be nice if he wasn't some married basturd on a trip away from home. I don't expect to be offered a diamond ring straight up, just that there could be the possibility of meeting up a second time

Actually, he doesn't have to be that sensitive. Well-hung will do <snerk>

I am starting to feel like a plate of meat - no wonder women avoid these sites. This is supposed to be a bang-up classical music site but you would be amazed at the desperate dogs sniffing my profile and sending me hopeful one-liner messages. Good thing I didn't put my photo up ... uh, not that the picture of an ex-rugby player with mommy fat would add anything .

I forgot I was supposed to do online teaching tonight. While supervising the Piglet catgut scraping lesson. I better put vain dreams of unattached realistic men in the locality out of my head, and shelve these piles of books, hide the ironing in my bedroom and hoover, before the violin teacher gets here. Thank Goodness my sympathetic colleague agreed with me that we can do a re-run of the tutorial I already taught two weeks ago, so I don't have to write a whole bunch of new slides on an assignment none of us have read up for yet.

*sigh*

 

[curl4ever]

and chocolate

to fortify you while you search for the right one

 

[beachbum1958]

I tried to make Tripehound take violin lessons; I should have known better (sigh)...in hindsight, I'd have had more success teaching cats to do the backstroke. Tripehound fought me all the way, refusing to give up her pre-teen addiction to Slipknot and Judas Priest for what she referred to as 'noise from a bunch of dead guys; I don't bloody think so'.

Being away so much, I missed out on giving her so many things; a bloody good belt with a 'Bugger-Off' stick would have been top of the list, but even at age 10 Tripehound knew how wide was the gap between me wanting to give her a good clip around the earhole and actually being allowed to; instead, she'd give me that expression, the one all parents know, the one that's just aching for a slap.

I think I finally admitted defeat when I found her and her friends playing badminton doubles, and they were short a racquet, so Tripehound was using her violin...

We eventually came to a truce; I'd stop trying to turn her into a little lady, and she'd stop referring to my very occasional dates (news like Tripehound got around fast) as Bang-Bang Lulu or Bimbo the mattress-tester. Still, my wife has the very first thing Tripehound said to her when she first met her, engraved inside her wedding ring; 'I've got a bad feeling about this...'

 

[NaokoSmith]

Oh beachbum , I was just thinking I must come on and thank you for your excellent advice about the warm coconut oil. I have been gently rubbing it into my scarred knee for two months, and it's much better. Thank you so much.

I'm going to keep it up for a bit longer to really give the scar a chance to recover.

I use the coconut oil on my hair too once a week - the ends get very dry with all the swimming.

We started Piglet on the violin very young, before she had been able to do more than acquire a taste for David Bowie because her Dad used to show her a video of him. She went to some top Welsh conservatoire, LOL, and actually is a good violinist. For about two years I have been coaxing her back into it after she took a scunner to it during the breakup, and now she has actually started playing tunes from a Disney songbook of her own volition! Luckily she is driven by the wish to do better in her upcoming Grade exam than Swiss Army wife's youngest boy, who is doing the same exam.

Ugh, I feel very tired after my non-day-off, and tomorrow I have to do a load of extra teaching (although at least for some of it I'll get some extra money). Plus I have to do marking at some point this week. I was hoping for an easy day on Friday but no chance.

 

[Handley_Page]

I tried to make Tripehound take violin lessons; I should have known better (sigh)...in hindsight, I'd have had more success teaching cats to do the backstroke. Tripehound fought me all the way, refusing to give up her pre-teen addiction to Slipknot and Judas Priest for what she referred to as 'noise from a bunch of dead guys; I don't bloody think so'.

Being away so much, I missed out on giving her so many things; a bloody good belt with a 'Bugger-Off' stick would have been top of the list, but even at age 10 Tripehound knew how wide was the gap between me wanting to give her a good clip around the earhole and actually being allowed to; instead, she'd give me that expression, the one all parents know, the one that's just aching for a slap.

I think I finally admitted defeat when I found her and her friends playing badminton doubles, and they were short a racquet, so Tripehound was using her violin...

We eventually came to a truce; I'd stop trying to turn her into a little lady, and she'd stop referring to my very occasional dates (news like Tripehound got around fast) as Bang-Bang Lulu or Bimbo the mattress-tester. Still, my wife has the very first thing Tripehound said to her when she first met her, engraved inside her wedding ring; 'I've got a bad feeling about this...'

Love it!

Oh beachbum , I was just thinking I must come on and thank you for your excellent advice about the warm coconut oil. I have been gently rubbing it into my scarred knee for two months, and it's much better. Thank you so much.

I'm going to keep it up for a bit longer to really give the scar a chance to recover.

I use the coconut oil on my hair too once a week - the ends get very dry with all the swimming.

We started Piglet on the violin very young, before she had been able to do more than acquire a taste for David Bowie because her Dad used to show her a video of him. She went to some top Welsh conservatoire, LOL, and actually is a good violinist. For about two years I have been coaxing her back into it after she took a scunner to it during the breakup, and now she has actually started playing tunes from a Disney songbook of her own volition! Luckily she is driven by the wish to do better in her upcoming Grade exam than Swiss Army wife's youngest boy, who is doing the same exam.

Ugh, I feel very tired after my non-day-off, and tomorrow I have to do a load of extra teaching (although at least for some of it I'll get some extra money). Plus I have to do marking at some point this week. I was hoping for an easy day on Friday but no chance.

Coconut stuff:
Are we talking what my ole' Dad called "Coconut Milk", ie., the liquid to be found inside a real coconut ?
Or maybe some other form of oil vaguely related to Coconuts ?

Have you considered playing some Stephane Grapelli (Quintet of the Hot Club of France) music. THe rhythms are amazing. . . .

 

[oggbashan]

I tried to make Tripehound take violin lessons; I should have known better (sigh)...in hindsight, I'd have had more success teaching cats to do the backstroke. ...

When I was at boarding school the only available music lessons were for the violin. I had my doubts from the start. Not only were my fingers uncoordinated (they still are) but the lessons were in the farming block, above the pigs.

The pigs didn't appreciate our attempts on the violin. We didn't appreciate the scent of pig shit. We appreciated the venue even less in winter because the only heating was from the pigs' bodies. Sometimes my fingers would stick to the metal strings because of the cold.

After two terms of futile lessons the tutor and my parents decided that the violin was not for me, to my relief. Every time I hear a beginner practising the violin I remember the pungent aroma of pig shit.

 

[NotWise]

Every time I hear a beginner practising the violin I remember the pungent aroma of pig shit.

It's hard to listen to a beginner on most any instrument, even without the aromatic association.

When my older sister was learning the bassoon -- a lovely-sounding instrument when under the control of a skilled musician -- I thought the noises she made were most reminiscent of a dying calf.

 

[beachbum1958]

Love it!




Coconut stuff:
Are we talking what my ole' Dad called "Coconut Milk", ie., the liquid to be found inside a real coconut ?
Or maybe some other form of oil vaguely related to Coconuts ?
.

Actual coconut oil is a pressed oil from the coconut itself; you can buy it in Boots, Superdrug, or in Holland & Barrett. It used to be classed as the most dangerous fatty oil, but now, after a little objective research, it's been discovered it's rich in Lauric acid, the saturated fat found in mother's milk, and has both anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties; as a result, it's being used in the treatment of AIDS. It's also been shown to lower cholesterol, as it doesn't enter the bloodstream, but travels straight to he liver.

Coconut water is the clear liquid inside the young coconut, and is quite different from coconut milk. I once watched coconut milk being made in up-country Cambodia, by boiling the flesh of the coconut and straining it; boiling it down even further made coconut cream.

One of the tricks I discovered a long time ago in the wilds of the world is that fresh coconut water is both sterile and isotonic, which means it has the same balance of salts as human blood, and can be used safely in place of a saline drip, something a lot of jungle hospitals in Brazil capitalise on when supplies of saline run low.

Also, humans being humans, it was discovered a long time ago that coconut water ferments quickly and makes a pretty powerful booze; luckily, fresh coconut water knocks the hangover right back...

 

[NaokoSmith]

...luckily, fresh coconut water knocks the hangover right back...

Yayyy!

I'm going to have a stiff whisky now, after managing to teach while Piglet was doing violin in the next room! I had two students, to my surprise, and they really learned something - which is always a bonus.



Maybe I will have some of those little biscuits I bought today too.

And chocolate.

 

[Hypoxia]

...fresh coconut water is both sterile and isotonic, which means it has the same balance of salts as human blood, and can be used safely in place of a saline drip, something a lot of jungle hospitals in Brazil capitalise on when supplies of saline run low.

Kewl! Okay, fresh coconuts are going into my aid bag, stat. And if the coco water just happens to ferment, well... that's medicinal too.

Meanwhile we're prepping to cruise down to Death Valley and environs for the Superbloom. But not on Supertuesday. No, we'll wait a few days. We have a Sherlockian engagement this evening, a meeting of Holmes' Hounds at The Hub in downtown Jackson CA. We'll be the tall ones. Let's see, tonight's reading assignment is The Man With The Twisted Lip -- ooh, a drug story! Break out the seven percent solution, Watson! And maybe some coconut water...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Kewl! Okay, fresh coconuts are going into my aid bag, stat. And if the coco water just happens to ferment, well... that's medicinal too.

Meanwhile we're prepping to cruise down to Death Valley and environs for the Superbloom. But not on Supertuesday. No, we'll wait a few days. We have a Sherlockian engagement this evening, a meeting of Holmes' Hounds at The Hub in downtown Jackson CA. We'll be the tall ones. Let's see, tonight's reading assignment is The Man With The Twisted Lip -- ooh, a drug story! Break out the seven percent solution, Watson! And maybe some coconut water...

We were in Death Valley and headed up to Zabriskie Point for the Sunrise one August day some years back. Thought we'd be quite alone, but found ourselves in the midst of nearly 200 Italians. Antonioni had died the week before, and the memorial tours had already started; there were four buses there when we arrived and two more coming as we left.

 

[beachbum1958]

Yayyy!

I'm going to have a stiff whisky now, after managing to teach while Piglet was doing violin in the next room! I had two students, to my surprise, and they really learned something - which is always a bonus.



Maybe I will have some of those little biscuits I bought today too.

And chocolate.

It's after dinner, so time for a few cocktails; I'm having a proper martini, made with gin, vodka, vermouth, and nice piece of lemon peel, shaken, no ice, and Lori is a Margarita kind of girl, although I've been known to tempt her into the occasional Cuba Libre. Lechayyim!

 

[TxRad]

Naoko, you might be interested in the one comment I've gotten on my April Fool's story. They said it was cute! I think I should have added more sex butt....

Thanks for the quick edit. At least they can't complain about that.

 

[Handley_Page]

This student is most grateful for the information.
Should I ever require a prompt blood transfusion, I'll have a couple of Coconuts on standby. . . .
On the other hand, if I run out of real booze. . . .

 

[R. Richard]

Coconut water is good to drink, but it may be contaminated. To decontaminate coconut water: http://www.cocobayresort.com/antigua-resort-hotel-blog/rum-and-coconut-water

 

[NaokoSmith]

Naoko, what is the difference between a dating site and Lit? It doesn't cost a cent to meet and get to know interesting, available, intelligent, sensitive, 'real' men.

The other thing is, Michael, what's to stop me coming on here and carrying on chatting with all you interesting, even-if-unavailable, intelligent, sensitive, 'real' men (and women)

I know that if I meet someone he might not like it, but is that the kind of person I'm likely to settle down with?

That is a tough one on the dating sites. There is a list of things that turn you on, which includes erotica. But of course I don't tick that one! I just say I like 'writing books' If I'm asked, I shall say I am writing romance novels - which is sort of true. I did want to put in my profile that I record poems and upload them to Soundcloud, mainly as if people found my profile on Soundcloud it would be an easy and free way of messaging me. But one of my interesting, unavailable (because he lives in France; ), intelligent, sensitive friends warned me against it. He said men are hypocrites, if they find out on the third or fourth date that you write smut, they will be thrilled and think they have hit a winner, but if you put it up straightaway, they will assume you are a slag.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Naoko, you might be interested in the one comment I've gotten on my April Fool's story. They said it was cute! I think I should have added more sex butt....

Thanks for the quick edit. At least they can't complain about that.

Ooh fab! I must check it out.

See - I told you it needed more sex 'n butt, and no buts


Well, beachbum, Hypoxia, Tio, HP and R. Richard - the amount I have learned about coconuts could probably help me survive and found a small town with a hospital and a bar on a desert island.


I was going to try to catch up with one of my modules, but I logged in to find that owing to scheduled maintenance, the website is down so I can't If a business was run like this university ... well, I strongly suspect the place is in financial meltdown anyway, so go figure.

I am feeling pretty chaotic right now. I also feel like I've just passed a crossroads in life and am looking for a new start. I want to try to get my head round things and organise myself better. But is it possible?

Here I am now: teaching out one module and just starting a new and fairly intensive one (the students are Level 1s and new to the university, so they require a lot of support). I have extra teaching responsibilities going on because it's the new start to the module, plus the old ones I had ticking along anyway. I am conscious that next October, if there is a drop in student numbers, I may lose the module I just started teaching. Then I will have no work over the winter. Unless by a miracle, our permanent contracts are agreed between management and the unions by October. (Very unlikely.) I am keen to go online and see if there is any new upcoming teaching available which I could apply for - but I can't as there is scheduled maintenance going on. Plus, my line manager mentioned a new module. It's a criminology one, which I can teach but I always lose out on those to people who are already teaching the current criminology modules. I also ought to apply for my expenses but I want to catch up on my teaching, collect my marking, do my marking - but I can't because of the scheduled maintenance.

Yes, that's what my head feels like most days too.

Today at 7.45 I was already speaking to a young person doing a dissertation on school governors for a half hour interview to help her out. At 10 am I am going online to give a tutorial to another student who has kids so can't make the evening tutorials (yes, I have told and told and told management to organise some of them in the daytime but they don't want to know), then if the wind and rain die down sufficiently I hope to go on my bike rather than drive to see another student with early dementia to help her out. Then I would like to come home and catch up on my teaching but I expect I will be very tired and have to put my head down for a rest.

Plus I am extra agitated right now, as the Fella has been away for two weeks and I have had total Piglet maintenance to sort out during that time. I love Piglet but I also find it a relief to have one or two days when I can spread myself, do my work as and when I please, and don't have to get up at a particular time to make a nutritious packed lunch and good breakfast, and think about what homework someone ought to be thinking about so she can do it in good time.

When Piglet is away, I usually eat a big meal early afternoon, then I'm good for the day, whereas when she is here, I have to wait for her to come home and sometimes I have to pick her up; I have to fit dinner in with her riding or violin lessons, so I have to try to think of something to eat for lunch to keep myself going.

As well as all of the above, I would like to do more writing about the teaching I do. I want to write some articles for our newsletter, raising cool points about the way we're managed in as tactful a way as possible. Perhaps I'm silly to hope that senior management might read these articles and even take on board my ideas. But I would like to try.

I would also like to keep doing the academic writing I started about my teaching. I would like to apply for HEA Fellowship (never mind what it is, it would be a Good Thing). But I barely have time to come on here and dash off a flirtatious note and I berate myself for not getting on with the academic writing, even while I rush out the door to give the student with early dementia some vital one-to-one support or to pick up Piglet to take her for a swim.

For weeks I haven't posted a review on my blog. Mainly I have just been too busy. But it crossed my mind that perhaps I will drop my reviewing, editing and writing smut work. Maybe as my academic career takes off, those under the covers ... I mean undercover activities will cease to mean much to me.

But they don't. I love teaching, however I also love writing reviews, editing and drafting up smutty stories. I am passionately interested in the writing and reading of erotica, and how that works. It's just that I don't get paid for it, so it has to slide down the priority list. I keep meaning to try to sort things out so I could get a little money for doing it, then I might be able to keep myself even if I lose that winter teaching contract. Another thing I berate myself for not getting organised enough to do!

Is it too much to hope for a man who would understand how much I enjoy and believe in that work, as well as my teaching? And who might give me a bit of support in figuring all this out? I have met such men - sadly living a long way away and/or married - who have encouraged and advised me, and helped me. But I know it's a bit different having a friend who is running in circles trying to organise a patchwork academic and smut-writing career, and actually being willing that your partner should be like that.



(Shoes soon! Honest.)

 

[curl4ever]

There are so many of us here who have such admiration and affection for you, and always sending you best wishes!

 

[MichaelinChina]

The other thing is, Michael, what's to stop me coming on here and carrying on chatting with all you interesting, even-if-unavailable, intelligent, sensitive, 'real' men (and women)

One day you might get lucky and meet him here.

I know that if I meet someone he might not like it, but is that the kind of person I'm likely to settle down with?

That is a tough one on the dating sites. There is a list of things that turn you on, which includes erotica. But of course I don't tick that one! I just say I like 'writing books' If I'm asked, I shall say I am writing romance novels - which is sort of true. I did want to put in my profile that I record poems and upload them to Soundcloud, mainly as if people found my profile on Soundcloud it would be an easy and free way of messaging me. But one of my interesting, unavailable (because he lives in France; ), intelligent, sensitive friends warned me against it. He said men are hypocrites, if they find out on the third or fourth date that you write smut, they will be thrilled and think they have hit a winner, but if you put it up straightaway, they will assume you are a slag.

Glad you kept thinking about my earlier comment and came back to continue.

Seems to me that you have to hide certain facts (writing erotica) on your dating site profile. When I was using dating sites, I too, thought it a bit sleazy to a potential partner if I mentioned I was into erotica.

Here, however, most assume you might write erotica, those who have read your stories will quickly find out. Others have known for quite a while. But they will also, I am sure, by realising how well crafted they are, the language style you use, the vocab, come to understand what kind of woman you are.

Oh and referring to your earlier comment, you say you get unwelcome 'hits' from the sleazes. I am sure you get your fair share on Lit too.

So, I repeat: how different is Lit from regular dating sites?

 

[NaokoSmith]

There are so many of us here who have such admiration and affection for you, and always sending you best wishes!

Awww, thanks curl *sniffles*

Oh and referring to your earlier comment, you say you get unwelcome 'hits' from the sleazes. I am sure you get your fair share on Lit too.

So, I repeat: how different is Lit from regular dating sites?

Well ... massively different. I know I am a bit unusual among women writers, but I get no hits at all from sleazy men. I hardly ever have PMs asking me to chat or flirting with me. About once a year, a man tries to chat me up by pretending to be interested in rugby or feminism, and I am usually so surprised I engage in conversation for a few PMs before I realise he's actually interested in my "freshly ironed white cotton knickers".

Once I did stray over to the General Board and join in a couple of threads and got a bit of unwelcome attention so I avoid it now. (Unwelcome attention meaning a man so idiotic that he asked me how old Piglet is! and couldn't understand why I felt that was an offensive question from a total stranger I had met on a smut site.)

Men here are intelligent and witty, skilled at bad-inage Men elsewhere are unbelievably stupid. Here is a sample of real life email exchange:

Too-young-bloke: ... I will try anything, come round - I will buy a cucumber, we can do it on public transport. The only thing I'm not interested in is homosexuality.
Moi: Uh ... that story was a joke, I don't actually want to have sex with vegetables on buses!
Don't worry, male homosexuality is probably the one thing I can't manage, although my ex-girlfriends will give me a good reference for rumpy-pumpy .
Too-young-bloke: No no, I don't think you understand. I am not interested in homosexuality.

I mean, can you imagine a guy on here not picking up on my reference to lesbian sex and pretending he would be interested in hearing more about what I did in bed with my ex-girlfriends?

Yes, yes, guys, I know you would all be very very respectful about it and only pretending to be interested (Actually real life lesbian sex is very boring for everyone except the women doing it, LOL.)

The guys on the dating site are probably not that dull, but most of them are remarkably boring-sounding. One even put as his tag line: "Recently widowed and don't know what to do!" No, I did not show any interest in that one, LOL. Many say they are looking for a special lady. (Uh ... of course! or why are you on here?) Several have Favourited me even though I specified people within a 100 miles of where I live, and they live in farflung parts of the Midlands and Cornwall.

One or two sound a little bit more spark-y. I am willing to risk a dull evening out, compared to taking my netbook to the cocktail bar and having an engrossing chat on here while I sip my Floral Martini, because I would like to be felt up as well as chatted up. Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the smell of men, the texture of their hairy bodies, that firmness of muscle or softness of fat - I don't really mind which.

It has been a long long time since I sucked a cock and I would really like to see if the actual experience lives up to the way I imaginatively write about it.

 

[TxRad]

"Recently widowed and don't know what to do!"

Having been widowed, I understand how this guy feels. You've been married to one woman for x number of years and now you're back on the market, so to speak. You're not the young chap you were and you have no idea how to go about getting back in the game. The clubs where you met your lost wife are now far too young.

You might be passing on a good deal but you might want to find out the names of a couple of the wife's good friends for references.

On a side note, after my wife passed, I suddenly found myself being the center of attention of several hoards of middle aged ladies that i didn't know existed until then.

 

[oggbashan]

I was looking for a favourite quote by Ernest Bramah appropriate to Naoko's last post, when I found this:

"He who has failed three times sets up as an instructor."

Change instructor to manager...

What I was looking for about Naoko's quest was this:

“It is a mark of insincerity of purpose to spend one's time in looking for the sacred Emperor in the low-class tea-shops.”

And this one fits many Literotica stories:

“The inimitable stories of Tong-King never have any real ending, and this one, being in his most elevated style, has even less end than most of them. But the whole narrative is permeated with the odour of joss-sticks and honourable high-mindedness, and the two characters are both of noble birth.”

 

[NaokoSmith]

"Recently widowed and don't know what to do!"

Having been widowed, I understand how this guy feels....

OMG, I totally understood how the guy felt! I just didn't think a dating website was the best place for him to figure it out.

On a side note, after my wife passed, I suddenly found myself being the center of attention of several hoards of middle aged ladies that i didn't know existed until then.

Exactly! I didn't want to be one of the hoard, or even horde If I can't be unique, I like to at least stand out from the crowd

I was looking for a favourite quote by Ernest Bramah appropriate to Naoko's last post

I might reply:
Alas! It is well written, "The road to eminence lies through the cheap and exceedingly uninviting eating-houses."

I love Ernest Bramah's stories! especially this quote:
"However entrancing it is to wander unchecked through a garden of bright images, are we not enticing your mind from another subject of almost equal importance?"

I have been through quite a number of cocktail bars, high- and low-class tea-shops and even cheap and exceedingly uninviting eating-houses, and have yet to meet someone I felt turned on by in the flesh. (I mean except the rugby CEO, who was clearly not in it for the long term - I just felt a bit icky when he tactlessly revealed he was married.)

I figure I will have more success if I go on a high-class dating site where men actually tell you that they are single and up for it in the flesh. Although I fear I am going to have pay for the privelege!

Still, There are few situations in life that cannot be honourably settled, and without loss of time, either by suicide, a bag of gold, or by thrusting a despised antagonist over the edge of a precipice upon a dark night.

Being an erotica, not a detective story, writer - I'm going to eschew thrusting fellow middle-aged ladies over the edge of a precipice in a mad stampede for a vulnerable widower, and I also favour the bag of gold option over suicide.