Naoko's news, views and shoes thread

[oggbashan]

Sailing?

The best guide for absolute beginners, as in many subjects, is the Ladybird book of Sailing. It explains the basic principles in simple terms with pictures.

If you have studied the Ladybird book you should be ready to start with an instructor for the real thing. Obviously the RYA books are much more detailed, but the Ladybird book assumes you know absolutely nothing.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Obviously the RYA books are much more detailed, but the Ladybird book assumes you know absolutely nothing.

I know a little bit about sailing, having been pushed into lessons when I was about 13 with a horrid old seasalt who used to make sure he had our attention by hitting us on the head with his pipe.


Well, I have come back after delivering the car to the garage for its MOT workover (please please let it not be even more than they estimated!) I had a good walk over the fields in the rain; I'm determined to start working off some of my figure which is starting to closely resemble Winne the Pooh's. When I try to button up blouses over my boobs, it's like June bursting out all over - and it's only April!

MrB, the only caveat I have about telling your business partner that you wish to sever all ties, is Do you do any of the people management yourself? Is there a possibility that he does a difficult job, not well but better than you might do it on your own? People are not always best managed with kindness, sad though that seems. Perhaps he has to juggle maternity leave, temporary staff, inductions of new staff and people phoning in sick a lot during the World Cup, as well as pensions? Perhaps he would much rather do the actual business you do, rather than the management bit of it! but unfortunately someone has to do the management.

I've just had a narrow escape from management myself. I wrote in Isolated Blurt about those idiots my line managers, who managed to f@ck up yet another lot of appointments. I was very cross about it, particularly as I am nervous I'll lose my one teaching contract over the winter months. I also realised I probably won't even be allowed to sign on if I do, as I still hold two contracts for the summer months so the DSS will certainly say I'm not making myself available for employment and refuse to pay me anything

The particular appointment the line managers f@cked up was for a temporary replacement for the line manager who has only just arrived and is larking off already on a year's holiday ... I mean study leave. This went to one of the other tutors, but without any of the rest of us being asked if we might like to give it a go. (Plus, the line manager told me that applications for the proper replacement of her post would be unlikely to succeed owing to people having Prior Consideration due to redundancy notices blahblah.)

I was incensed at this Carry On Managing malarkey, and I turned over whether to write to the Head Honcho and complain (again). But instead, I wrote a steaming letter to the two line managers, saying: How did this person just happen to get appointed to this role? It's unfair on everyone including them, as people are saying it was due to favouritism. I added that I was the most vulnerable of the tutors, because of this liklihood that I'll lose my one winter teaching contract, and complained that I had not only never picked up one of the many small additional jobs I applied for, I had never even had messages to let me know the outcome and offer me feedback.

I thought I would apply for the year's replacement job. I knew I wouldn't get it but I felt it would Do Me Good to go through my many skills and accomplishments - which happen to include successfully managing a research centre and several teams of staff on diverse projects. (That would doom me from the start!)

Then I had an epiphany. Of course I need the money and the not-much-but-slightly-more-secure job, but I realised
- I won't get the job;
- It will be a lot of hard work applying for it;
- I don't want to be a manager! it's boring. I want to be well-managed, and to teach.
Just because I could do the job much more efficiently than them, is no reason to stress myself out with actually delivering on it.

I realised if I didn't apply I could spend my time and energy on more enjoyable things, like my editing of smutty stories , and actually writing a couple of papers about teaching which I have got in mind.

I have been working my socks off in the last couple of months and have just got myself back to a place where I can row back a bit, relax and survey my surroundings, spend some time swimming, and even come back on here for a little gentle posting. I don't want to give that up in order to run after a job I'm not even going to get.

Meanwhile, did I get any reply from my line managers to my request that they provide proper information to show that this mystery appointment was not an act of favouritism?

No, I got a message from the one line manager offering me additional - paid - work doing a presentation which I realised I could build on to write a paper about teaching. And I got a message from the other line manager saying: Would you like to go for coffee or lunch?


Now then, should I
a) apply for the job after all, in spite of my above arguments;
b) do nothing;
c) write to the basturd favouriting line manager to ask him his advice, and hint that if I were to be given the teaching contract which is also being floated around, I wouldn't want the management job he clearly wants to give to someone-else.

 

[TxRad]

Ah, the fowl politics of academia.

I'd take the one up on the lunch, stick them with the check, and then tell the other one you were being bribed to keep your mouth shut. Now about that full time teaching job?

 

[oggbashan]

I...



Now then, should I
a) apply for the job after all, in spite of my above arguments;
b) do nothing;
c) write to the basturd favouriting line manager to ask him his advice, and hint that if I were to be given the teaching contract which is also being floated around, I wouldn't want the management job he clearly wants to give to someone-else.

My advice, for what it is worth, is a modification of c).

In that missive, explain that you are concerned not so much about the manager's job but that you have not been given feedback about the posts you unsuccessfully applied for, and make it clear that lack of teaching contracts and unpredicability of appointments are jeopardising your ability to earn a sufficent annual income working for them. What do you have to do to consistently attract more teaching contracts? If you had a more balanced teaching income, you would be happier with your employers...

 

[JackLuis]

I know a little bit about sailing, -
Meanwhile, did I get any reply from my line managers to my request that they provide proper information to show that this mystery appointment was not an act of favouritism?

No, I got a message from the one line manager offering me additional - paid - work doing a presentation which I realised I could build on to write a paper about teaching. And I got a message from the other line manager saying: Would you like to go for coffee or lunch?


Now then, should I
a) apply for the job after all, in spite of my above arguments;
b) do nothing;
c) write to the basturd favouriting line manager to ask him his advice, and hint that if I were to be given the teaching contract which is also being floated around, I wouldn't want the management job he clearly wants to give to someone-else.

I'd say take the money and write your paper on teaching. Money is good, recognition is good and Lunch is better than coffee, assuming it a proper lunch.

 

[MrBennet]

Dear Naoko, I am again indebted for your concern and I only wish I could offer something constructive in return, but the mascinations of the educational world are as opaque as an opaque thing to me. I have friends and relatives who work in education, so your exasperation is sadly familiar. One niece-in-law has even offered several times to come and work for me rather than return to teaching.
Our employee role is not an large one as we have only two employees plus ourselves! Ask me something pithy about the Pensions Regulator and I'll be the one to answer: did you know for instance that their website only functions with IE and Windows 10? I have taken to sending Signed-for letters to them and strangley enough, have found that works quite effectively.
Talking of websites, In researching a sailing club close to you, I have been infuriated by the RYA website. My searches thus far have ended in 404s but I have written their website managers a couple of stiffly worded emails - perhaps a signed-for would be more effective? This is why I let my membership lapse. Watch this space as I'm sure Piglet, being courageous and scientific, would find the idea of propulsion by wind alone intriguing and great fun and we have plenty of enthusiastic kids doing just that most weekends. We don't have any old salts with pipes but I could find a suitable stand-in if I asked around. We do have a genuine ex-RN Commodore but he's so antique I think his pipe went out in the 1980s.
I've already taken up too much page space from your regulars but will briefly apologise that my iPad is not fully grammar trained and subsequently corrects inaccurately. Trying to go back and edit is a little,vexing ( see that?! ) so here's some commas: please distribute as you see fit ,,,,,,, Best wishes

 

[NaokoSmith]

Thank you so much, guys.

Now about that full time teaching job?

Well, the Union have been in negotiations for only six years now about making our contracts permanent - and have been able to get a (possible) date when that might happen!

August 2018

My advice, for what it is worth, is a modification of c).

I know. I will try. Unfortunately I have been doing that for years and years and years. I know why I don't get fair do's - and I have got solid proof of it, it's straightforward rank discrimination. They forget that I am a whizzo teacher and analyst and think I am just a walking pair of boobs. (Whereas in fact my two line managers are actually the walking pair of boobs.)

I'd say take the money and write your paper on teaching.

There isn't much money, but I will take it, and I will write my paper and also make them pay (which currently they're still doing) for my Fellowship with the Higher Education Academy. That might be worth doing.

I'm also going to get my proper contact details logged in with the local Labour Party. We call it the Taffia (River Taff runs through Cardiff). They are in power here, and as I have been delivering leaflets in a humble fashion for them for years, they look on me favourably. In fact, their meetings are one of the few places where I felt as if they immediately assumed I am intelligent even though I look like someone bought me off the internet and paid for my passport.

We don't have any old salts with pipes but I could find a suitable stand-in if I asked around. We do have a genuine ex-RN Commodore but he's so antique I think his pipe went out in the 1980s.

He sounds delicious I can do without the pipe! I'm quite sure it had no pedagogic value at all.

They do run these sailing courses down in the Bay; £170 for a weekend. What do you think, Jane and MrB? That's pretty reasonable? They are RYA certified.
http://cbwac.com/content/sailing/adult.htm
Presumably cheaper for kids, I haven't got time to check now as I must go and cook breakfast. I'm making MILF French toast! (French toast with brown bread - as we MILFs are always thinking of your LOL)

 

[SamScribble]

They do run these sailing courses down in the Bay; £170 for a weekend. What do you think, Jane and MrB? That's pretty reasonable? They are RYA certified. LOL)

Hello, Honey

Things may have changed slightly since I was a lad (well, everything has changed since I was a land), but if you cruise the odd marina, it's sometimes surprising who needs a pair of younger hands in exchange for a little sailing tuition. This is how I got started; and I ended up in the 'after guard', sailing in some of the world's 'headline' yachting events.

 

[stickygirl]

Morning Naoko x
Yes - that's the course you'd need to take assuming you're sure you'll (both) like it. That cost is about right too. Why not ring and ask if you can pop down to have a look round first - that way you can see how organised they are and if it seems a friendly place?

 

[NaokoSmith]

Hello, Honey

... it's sometimes surprising who needs a pair of younger hands in exchange for a little sailing tuition....

'Lo Sugar


I love how he regards me as a "younger" pair of hands! (If only I could get my hands on him )

Morning Naoko x
Yes - that's the course you'd need to take assuming you're sure you'll (both) like it. That cost is about right too. Why not ring and ask if you can pop down to have a look round first - that way you can see how organised they are and if it seems a friendly place?

Good idea. I might even pick up an old sea salt without pipe! The marina is in Cardiff Bay which is a nice location to go and pootle about with Piglet. Right next to the government buildings, if I felt the urge to go and schmoozle with the politicos. It's so cool how this city is tiny and everything is next door to everything-else.

I feel great about deciding not to go for that evil management post! The minute I decided not to bother with it, I felt much more relaxed and happy. I know I need the money, but I really don't need the stress. It was a real epiphany. Most of my life I would run after very high-stress short-term opportunities, instead of looking to build something long-term. I feel like this is an important watershed moment.

Awww, saying 'watershed' reminds me of an email pal, who sent me a message a little while ago entitled 'watershed' as he and his ex-wife had got it back together again, so he was going back to be happy with her and wouldn't be popping up occasionally in my inbox any more, to send me pictures of his lace knickers and stories of jocks with cocks he had come across (literally).

 

[Handley_Page]

Gosh; what a lot I missed.

I have been working my socks off in the last couple of months and have just got myself back to a place where I can row back a bit, relax and survey my surroundings, spend some time swimming, and even come back on here for a little gentle posting. I don't want to give that up in order to run after a job I'm not even going to get.

I got a message from the one line manager offering me additional - paid - work doing a presentation which I realised I could build on to write a paper about teaching. And I got a message from the other line manager saying: Would you like to go for coffee or lunch?


Now then, should I
a) apply for the job after all, in spite of my above arguments;
b) do nothing;
c) write to the basturd favouriting line manager to ask him his advice, and hint that if I were to be given the teaching contract which is also being floated around, I wouldn't want the management job he clearly wants to give to someone-else.

I suggest 'take the Lunch'.
and:
Option [c] seems a good one.

 

[redzinger]

I suggest 'take the Lunch'.
and:
Option [c] seems a good one.

Added to recommending that someone you think could do the line manager job apply for it.
I know power goes to some people's heads, but if there is a colleague who may not be shit-hot at teaching but is organised and sensible enough to be able to line-manage, would that not make you all happy?

 

[NaokoSmith]

Chaps, Jane has written a review for my blog, about the book None of the Above. Check it out.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Hullo HP, Hullo Toria!


The manager post really is a poisoned chalice. Not only do you have to manage the Awkward Squad like me, who know your job much better than you do, you have Basturd Manager to support and advise you. He has always run the job as a private exploitation racket, so he will be vague about how you should deliver it, tell you to do things wrongs, finagle you into making poor decisions with him, dump you with the blame when things go wrong (he is a real expert at this), and generally make it impossible for you to deliver.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

Curiously enough, he can sometimes be quite decent - if you are one of his favourites. He is not a pleasant person to hang out with, as he is also whiney and a little bit sleazy, but he has a lot of power. Luckily these days he is scared of me, as he had his head kicked in behind the bike sheds when I fingered him in my discrimination grievance, so I can exercise some inflluence to improve matters. He also recently came to a much greater respect for me, as he has had to manage me and has realised I actually work very hard and am devoted to my teaching. (Yes, of course he should have realised that in the first place, but he is a sexist old goat! he assumed I am a dolly bird.)

I'm still feeling this sense of elation, as if I'd been walking along a narrow path and had just escaped falling into a ravine full of poisonous snakes and man-eating tigers. Yesterday I had a lovely day off: swimming, shopping. I was a bit tired but I was very good and did a lot of tidying up and cleaning just as I'd hoped to do. I didn't manage to mow the lawn; it's still very damp so I might leave most of it till next week.

This morning started misty and the day promises to be a fine one! I have come out to the Wifi deli cafe and enjoyed a splendid breakfast of eggs on toast with chorizo sausage. I'm going to sneak off for the morning, and do gardening and stuff until lunch time, and only then go on my work email. I will have to do a bit of repair work on this cushion cover Piglet made in Needlework classes. I took it into town yesterday to get a cushion for it, but while I was fitting a cushion into it, it became horribly apparent that Piglet had not learned stitching very well as lots of gaps appeared in the seams!

I couldn't do all this if I were even applying for the management post - let alone if I got it!

 

[MichaelinChina]

Hullo HP, Hullo Toria!


The manager post really is a poisoned chalice. Not only do you have to manage the Awkward Squad like me, who know your job much better than you do, you have Basturd Manager to support and advise you. He has always run the job as a private exploitation racket, so he will be vague about how you should deliver it, tell you to do things wrongs, finagle you into making poor decisions with him, dump you with the blame when things go wrong (he is a real expert at this), and generally make it impossible for you to deliver.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!

Curiously enough, he can sometimes be quite decent - if you are one of his favourites. He is not a pleasant person to hang out with, as he is also whiney and a little bit sleazy, but he has a lot of power. Luckily these days he is scared of me, as he had his head kicked in behind the bike sheds when I fingered him in my discrimination grievance, so I can exercise some inflluence to improve matters. He also recently came to a much greater respect for me, as he has had to manage me and has realised I actually work very hard and am devoted to my teaching. (Yes, of course he should have realised that in the first place, but he is a sexist old goat! he assumed I am a dolly bird.)

I'm still feeling this sense of elation, as if I'd been walking along a narrow path and had just escaped falling into a ravine full of poisonous snakes and man-eating tigers. Yesterday I had a lovely day off: swimming, shopping. I was a bit tired but I was very good and did a lot of tidying up and cleaning just as I'd hoped to do. I didn't manage to mow the lawn; it's still very damp so I might leave most of it till next week.

This morning started misty and the day promises to be a fine one! I have come out to the Wifi deli cafe and enjoyed a splendid breakfast of eggs on toast with chorizo sausage. I'm going to sneak off for the morning, and do gardening and stuff until lunch time, and only then go on my work email. I will have to do a bit of repair work on this cushion cover Piglet made in Needlework classes. I took it into town yesterday to get a cushion for it, but while I was fitting a cushion into it, it became horribly apparent that Piglet had not learned stitching very well as lots of gaps appeared in the seams!

I couldn't do all this if I were even applying for the management post - let alone if I got it!

Hullo Naoko

 

[stickygirl]

Chaps, Jane has written a review for my blog, about the book None of the Above. Check it out.

Thanks Naoko - and it is a good read for any age

We have a manager we call 'shit-for-brains', happily not in my department. Just using the title is empowering, if childish

 

[Handley_Page]

Thanks Naoko - and it is a good read for any age

We have a manager we call 'shit-for-brains', happily not in my department. Just using the title is empowering, if childish

An old military expression, I think
A good one, though

 

[MrBennet]

I know you'll have been on ten taboos ( that's autocorrect for tentahooks ) about my dealings with HMRC and how I'm loving being a director, then pull up a comfy rack. HMRC Insist that we pay online these days because cheques are so 20th century. It's important when one pays by BACS to include the 000/00000AA reference, sort code and so on. I did this in January, ahead of deadline. In Feb they wrote a letter ( how quaint ) saying that we had not paid and interest would be charged. I have made four telephone calls and have since paid the April PAYE by credit card over the phone because " that way we can't lose the payment" which cost £13 because we don't have a bank card, only a credit one.
This evening I came home to a brown HMRC envelope, telling me HMRC have been unable to allocate the recent payment and that there was still an amount outstanding of £xx . To my home address.
Fuck this country and fuck running a business. Add to that my co-director threw a hissy fit before he trounced off without saying goodbye.
I am so out of here.
So
How was your week?
I did an emoticon

 

[Handley_Page]

I know you'll have been on ten taboos ( that's autocorrect for tentahooks ) about my dealings with HMRC and how I'm loving being a director, then pull up a comfy rack. HMRC Insist that we pay online these days because cheques are so 20th century. It's important when one pays by BACS to include the 000/00000AA reference, sort code and so on. I did this in January, ahead of deadline. In Feb they wrote a letter ( how quaint ) saying that we had not paid and interest would be charged. I have made four telephone calls and have since paid the April PAYE by credit card over the phone because " that way we can't lose the payment" which cost £13 because we don't have a bank card, only a credit one.
This evening I came home to a brown HMRC envelope, telling me HMRC have been unable to allocate the recent payment and that there was still an amount outstanding of £xx . To my home address.
Fuck this country and fuck running a business. Add to that my co-director threw a hissy fit before he trounced off without saying goodbye.
I am so out of here.
So
How was your week?
I did an emoticon

I suggest you go visit your local Tax Office and explain it all.
Do not forget to "Appeal", as it stops everything from evolving.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thanks Naoko - and it is a good read for any age

We have a manager we call 'shit-for-brains', happily not in my department. Just using the title is empowering, if childish

My partner used to have a macro set up for work so that every time she typed "fuckface" it replaced it with a certain manager's name.

 

[curl4ever]

My partner used to have a macro set up for work so that every time she typed "fuckface" it replaced it with a certain manager's name.

Brilliant! Beautiful!

<daydreaming about what cases I might implement>

- curl

 

[beachbum1958]

Brilliant! Beautiful!

<daydreaming about what cases I might implement>

- curl

When I worked in the NHS, lo these many moons ago, we doctors had some fun and meaningful names for managers for use in memo's and patients' notes, especially the execu-drones known as 'Unit Manager'', who seem to have no function, yet walk around like they owned the place. Here are some of the best:

Adminisphere - where hospital managers work, in their own world
Administrivia - pointless emails and notices
BBF's - Belly-button Fluff, as in 'about as useful as...'
BUNDY - But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet...
BVA - Breathing Valuable Air
CCTD - Career Circling The Drain
MR DILLIGAF - Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck
Meets the DSP (Dumb Shit Profile) to a T
MUPET (Most Useless Person Ever Trained)
WISH - Why Is She Here
PNF - Person With No Function
BDSW - Brain Dead, Still Walking
HPVI - Highly Paid Village Idiot

I could go on, we had some very inventive and erudite people back then at UCH. We used to request patients that they refer to their 'Unit Manager' as the HPVI', and most Unit Managers thought it was standard NHS nomenclature or an acronym for their job and never bothered to look further.

 

[MrBennet]

I suggest you go visit your local Tax Office and explain it all.
Do not forget to "Appeal", as it stops everything from evolving.

Thank you Mr P, I feel a stiff one coming on. I'll send it registered post.
Loved those acronyms Beachbum - those are excellent. The only one I'd heard of was MAH meaning mad as a hatter.

 

[Handley_Page]

Thank you Mr P, I feel a stiff one coming on. I'll send it registered post.
Loved those acronyms Beachbum - those are excellent. The only one I'd heard of was MAH meaning mad as a hatter.

Mr B, I strongly suggest that you take the letter PERSONALLY to your local tax office. Real soon.
Ask to talk to an Inspector (they cannot refuse) and explain it all to him,/her.

Of course, if you happen to have a pocket memo handy and on, so much the better.

Good Luck.

 

[MrBennet]

Mr B, I strongly suggest that you take the letter PERSONALLY to your local tax office. Real soon.
Ask to talk to an Inspector (they cannot refuse) and explain it all to him,/her.

Of course, if you happen to have a pocket memo handy and on, so much the better.

Good Luck.

Believe me, there's nothing I'd like better than visit a tax office and log onto my account to show them the record of the BACS transfer, however all the local tax offices closed at the end of last year and have been replaced with super efficient regional offices. Heyho, I'll ring them again on Monday and announce I am recording the call and send them a registered letter.
Fair winds on the lake tomorrow so hopefully chance to unwind? Geddit? Sorry, couldn't help myself.