Naoko's news, views and shoes thread

[MichaelinChina]

To quote beachbum:

We used to request patients that they refer to their 'Unit Manager' as the HPVI', and most Unit Managers thought it was standard NHS nomenclature or an acronym for their job and never bothered to look further.

That was hilarious!

 

[NaokoSmith]

New blogpost about upcoming Seattle Erotica festival starting on 22nd!

Guys, I promise to pop back and catch up on the thread properly very soon - like tomorrow.

I'm not going to share any lurid details about my recent absence, I'm afraid . However, I came home today from a second date with someone who seems like an excellent prospective match, looking like the Cheshire Cat's smile.

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.polyvore.com%2Fcgi%2Fimg-thing%3F.out%3Djpg%26size%3Dl%26tid%3D15348770&f=1

 

[stickygirl]

I know what'll happen - you'll ABANDON us Off you'll go with your fancy man ( or woman ) and never give us a second thought. Well, good luck to you Naoko, but I hope they know how lucky they are or I'll set HP on them and then there'll be trouble xx

 

[curl4ever]

I know what'll happen - you'll ABANDON us Off you'll go with your fancy man ( or woman ) and never give us a second thought. Well, good luck to you Naoko, but I hope they know how lucky they are or I'll set HP on them and then there'll be trouble xx

Ditto! (I will cheerfully offer to physically threaten anyone who would consider hurting our Naoko.)

- curl

 

[Handley_Page]

I know what'll happen - you'll ABANDON us Off you'll go with your fancy man ( or woman ) and never give us a second thought. Well, good luck to you Naoko, but I hope they know how lucky they are or I'll set HP on them and then there'll be trouble xx

I'll get the Dragon to sharpen his talons - properly.

Ditto! (I will cheerfully offer to physically threaten anyone who would consider hurting our Naoko.)

- curl

hear hear

 

[MrBennet]

You can't keep a good girl down!

 

[Hypoxia]

Update

I mentioned here a few months ago about acquiring a new housecar and going on extended travels. Well, that new one (slim 25-foot class-C RV on a Mercedes Sprinter 3-liter turbodiesel platform getting 18-20 mpg) has had, shall we say, teething problems. Like, Thor Industries (the maker) has shitty quality control.

We have needed MONTHS of warranty service to fix problems with leaks, generator, missing pieces, similar crap. And Thor is supposedly one of the better builders. [/me sends bad vibes to their management] We missed the desert superbloom. We missed a few festivals we'd planned on. We are really pissed at their service.

We bought our previous two 25-foot RVs used. The bugs had already been addressed. We'll never buy another new one.

Everything is supposedly fixed now. We are ready to actually take off. A quick run from our trailer-trash home below Lake Tahoe to our old home area in Sonoma County's banana-slug / redwood forest belt. Then to San Francisco to see the (grand)kids. Then slowly down the Pacific coast with maybe a stop at the Museum of Jurassic Technology in L.A. Then up to higher elevations in the Mohave Desert for remaining blooms. Then... well, we'll wing it from there. We improvise.

We haven't finalized our technology options. How will we stay online whilst remote? Sat.phones are prohibitive. Cell phone w/WiFi hotspot won't work in our favored primitive off.grid locales. We need a net.capable sat.TV dish. We're still trying to figure the most cost-effective stuff. Shit is complex. Yow.

I hope the journeys kick my muse back into action. Might as well write stuff when we're hanging out naked in the Black Rock Desert for a few days.

 

[jaF0]

One word ... lemon-law.

 

[Handley_Page]

I mentioned here a few months ago about acquiring a new housecar and going on extended travels. Well, that new one (slim 25-foot class-C RV on a Mercedes Sprinter 3-liter turbodiesel platform getting 18-20 mpg) has had, shall we say, teething problems. Like, Thor Industries (the maker) has shitty quality control.

We have needed MONTHS of warranty service to fix problems with leaks, generator, missing pieces, similar crap. And Thor is supposedly one of the better builders. [/me sends bad vibes to their management] We missed the desert superbloom. We missed a few festivals we'd planned on. We are really pissed at their service.

We bought our previous two 25-foot RVs used. The bugs had already been addressed. We'll never buy another new one.

Everything is supposedly fixed now. We are ready to actually take off. A quick run from our trailer-trash home below Lake Tahoe to our old home area in Sonoma County's banana-slug / redwood forest belt. Then to San Francisco to see the (grand)kids. Then slowly down the Pacific coast with maybe a stop at the Museum of Jurassic Technology in L.A. Then up to higher elevations in the Mohave Desert for remaining blooms. Then... well, we'll wing it from there. We improvise.

We haven't finalized our technology options. How will we stay online whilst remote? Sat.phones are prohibitive. Cell phone w/WiFi hotspot won't work in our favored primitive off.grid locales. We need a net.capable sat.TV dish. We're still trying to figure the most cost-effective stuff. Shit is complex. Yow.

I hope the journeys kick my muse back into action. Might as well write stuff when we're hanging out naked in the Black Rock Desert for a few days.

I just hope that the supplier has re-set the warranty clock each time .
Good Luck

 

[Hypoxia]

I just hope that the supplier has re-set the warranty clock each time .
Good Luck

Thanks, and HAH! No, time doesn't work like that around here. But we have a 7-year warranty; we're bothered more by downtime now, than by possible downstream expenses. We missed the superbloom, dammit!

Seems like Thor, and most other RV makers, play the old Microsoft trick of slapping something together, shipping it, and letting customers find the bugs, rather than 'wasting' money on quality control at the factory. Yeah, customers as volunteer beta-testers. Makers seem to get away with it as long as the defects aren't life-threatening. They managed not to screw up the Mercedes Sprinter platform too much, just enough to render it unusable as a housecar.

Enough of that. Medics gave me a clean bill of health today. We'll load up The Slim Princess over the weekend and probably roll next Tuesday. The blue horizon awaits. Onwards!

 

[Handley_Page]

Thanks, and HAH! No, time doesn't work like that around here. But we have a 7-year warranty; we're bothered more by downtime now, than by possible downstream expenses. We missed the superbloom, dammit!

Seems like Thor, and most other RV makers, play the old Microsoft trick of slapping something together, shipping it, and letting customers find the bugs, rather than 'wasting' money on quality control at the factory. Yeah, customers as volunteer beta-testers. Makers seem to get away with it as long as the defects aren't life-threatening. They managed not to screw up the Mercedes Sprinter platform too much, just enough to render it unusable as a housecar.

Enough of that. Medics gave me a clean bill of health today. We'll load up The Slim Princess over the weekend and probably roll next Tuesday. The blue horizon awaits. Onwards!

A firm doing that round here would soon find itself in Very Serious Bother (various Motor Vehicle Regulations, Trading Standards and possibly the Fraud Office).

Go to it, young man, and God speed

 

[NaokoSmith]

*hug*s HP, Michael and a warm hullo to jaF0

Beachbum, the acronyms are superb! Although I do need one for Basturd Line Manager who Deliberately Fucks Everything Up so He can Give Little Jobs (not blow ones) to his Favoured Few.

Any news of Lori?

Thank you Mr P, I feel a stiff one coming on.

Ooh! excitement! Ah, you mean wind, don't you. *sigh*

I know what'll happen - you'll ABANDON us Off you'll go with your fancy man ( or woman ) and never give us a second thought. Well, good luck to you Naoko, but I hope they know how lucky they are or I'll set HP on them and then there'll be trouble xx

No, I will not abandon you! LOL. I have been thinking about you all lots, just preoccupied with Piglet care and how to buy my new boiler and getting my career sorted. (If only.)

You can't keep a good girl down!

Well, you might be allowed to if you had handcuffs colour co-ordinated to her lingerie ....

 

[beachbum1958]

*hug*s HP, Michael and a warm hullo to jaF0

Beachbum, the acronyms are superb! Although I do need one for Basturd Line Manager who Deliberately Fucks Everything Up so He can Give Little Jobs (not blow ones) to his Favoured Few.

Any news of Lori?



Ooh! excitement! Ah, you mean wind, don't you. *sigh*



No, I will not abandon you! LOL. I have been thinking about you all lots, just preoccupied with Piglet care and how to buy my new boiler and getting my career sorted. (If only.)




Well, you might be allowed to if you had handcuffs colour co-ordinated to her lingerie ....

Hi Lady N,

Lori's doing fine, thank you; the acute light hypersensitivity, headaches and tinnitus have now pretty much disappeared, her last 3 MRI's were all clear, no causes for concern there, and the bone seems to be healing and remodelling nicely. Her black eyes are still very visible, but not as bad as they were. All in all, she's doing better than I hoped for, she's obviously a lot tougher than I give her credit for. She's off work now until the end of June, so, as a little treat, when her hair is grown in sufficiently to cover the craniotomy site, she and Rowena are having a trip to Paris and a private show at Christian Louboutin at Rue Jean-Jacques Rousseau so they can indulge their shoe worship rituals AND pretend they had a cultural time time at the Louvre around the corner.

Rowena's going along because I think she'd also like another night at the Crazy Horse, and her French is perfect, unlike my angel, who speaks Cajun French, which she unfortunately thinks is perfectly fine French, and so she yaks away in her version of French, while the Parisians listen in incomprehension. She thinks she's being perfectly understood, while I suspect the French think she's some kind of avant-garde street theatre.

Medical Acronyms:

In need of PHARTS Procedure (Place Hand Around Throat; Squeeze)
SFNFL - Stupid Fucker, Not Fit To Live
Dagenham Jack - Three Stops Beyond Barking - Insane
LBT - Low Brainpower Threshold
Mushroom Farmer - keeps everyone in the dark and periodically drops them in the shit
SHPOS - Subhuman Piece Of Shit
WOMBAT - Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time

 

[NaokoSmith]

Yayyy! Now I know; my line manager is a WOMBAT!

Hypoxia, sorry to hear about the delays on the travelling. Hanging out naked in the Black Rock Desert sounds good though!

 

[oggbashan]

A Wombat like this?

http://i.imgur.com/6JQo0Bn.jpg

They even poop differently:

http://healthylifemed.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/wombat-poop.jpg

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--3ac2iWmX--/18lp38yjptegkjpg.jpg

They eat, sleep, poop cubically, and dig bloody big holes for themselves.

 

[Handley_Page]

I was under the illusion that a WOMBAT was a 37mm anti-tank gun
(see HERE )

Imagine that, but belt-fed. . .

 

[R. Richard]

Well, the wombat in the picture is also recoilless.

 

[Hypoxia]

Hypoxia, sorry to hear about the delays on the travelling. Hanging out naked in the Black Rock Desert sounds good though!

One damn bloody thing after another. We may finally get away next weekend. We're still working on mobile internet access but otherwise we're about set. Unless more leaks develop...

[/me envisages mooning Morro Rock and frightening sea lions]

 

[SamScribble]

Dagenham Jack - Three Stops Beyond Barking - Insane

Many years ago, Dagenham Jack was my boss. Yes, he came from Dagenham. And, yes, he was insane. About a month after he fired me, he suddenly dropped dead. Apparently, he had a massive (undiagnosed) brain tumour.

 

[Handley_Page]

Many years ago, Dagenham Jack was my boss. Yes, he came from Dagenham. And, yes, he was insane. About a month after he fired me, he suddenly dropped dead. Apparently, he had a massive (undiagnosed) brain tumour.

A case for retrospective re-employment ?

 

[ishtat]

Many years ago, Dagenham Jack was my boss. Yes, he came from Dagenham. And, yes, he was insane. About a month after he fired me, he suddenly dropped dead. Apparently, he had a massive (undiagnosed) brain tumour.

Hmm, I had to let some people go a couple of weeks back from our operation in Raleigh NC. Mebbe time for a brain scan.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Hey guys! what a cuddly wombat. Sadly Basturd Line Manager looks nothing like that, he is more gormless and his poop is mainly in the form of blooper cr@p-ups which would have had him fired long ago if he had worked in the private sector.

As an example, he once asked us all to release to the students a podcast he had made and proudly titled: 'Motherhood and hopeless tossers'. I don't know if it really had any social science insights in it, as I not only didn't circulate it round my students, I didn't even listen to it myself.

Honest to God, true story

Well, it's been showery and there was some hail even (while I was on the bus, so that was OK) and now beautiful spring sunshine is bathing my garden and pouring through the window over my pussy - the tabby one. This is my 'day off' - when Piglet goes over to her Dad's to scrape her violin (just passed Grade 2!!! ) and be fed and generally cared for by him. I went into the city centre, had a swim, met my ex line manager (see Isolated Blurt ) and had a tootle round the shops. As I don't have to rush home to get Piglet's swill poured into a bucket, I then tootled into a real ale bar and had a glass of something dark and delicious.

 

[colddiesel]

Mobile land mine!

I was under the illusion that a WOMBAT was a 37mm anti-tank gun
(see HERE )

Imagine that, but belt-fed. . .

No HP, a wombat (the cuddly version) is actually a mobile land mine. They are very solid and very low to the ground. Like all marsupials they have a fatal attraction to car lights; unlike 'roos which try to hop out of the way - usually unsuccessfully, wombats freeze and lie still in the middle of the road.

I was in a 3.9 litre Holden about 15 years ago which ran over a wombat - knocked the engine partially off its mountings and buggered up the diff.
A fairly common story, and as Og could confirm just part of the marsupial carnage on Australian roads.

 

[NaokoSmith]

No HP, a wombat (the cuddly version) is actually a mobile land mine.... and as Og could confirm just part of the marsupial carnage on Australian roads.

Ah, something which lies down in your path and stops you getting on with your work is just like Basturd Line Manager!

 

[NaokoSmith]

What a lovely sunny morning! Rain is forecast later; I plan to go to a concert then so as long as I get the laundry in before I go, that will be OK. As I mowed the lawn on Sunday, I can view the rain with complacency.

Clear warm sunshine is throwing the shadows of the trees across the park, the birds are singing and the cats are watching them through the window.

I shall go out and hang the washing. The two cats insist on coming with me when I do this, and hang around glaring at any dogs who walk past, LOL. Then I shall have some more (decaff) coffee and a buttered bun for breakfast.


(sunglasses help with hayfever)