need help finding a woman

[yaitsmeagain]

Ya I know Im 23 and Im new to the dateing seen. Well I have been on dates and hade sex with one woman. But for the last two years I have had no dates and havent realy been looking. I got hooked on a online video game and.....well. I just havent been out there. what I would like to know is were to look. Is the only option a bar or club. And what do I need to do to get to the point of asking out someone. And another thing how do I get the word virgin out from under my login name ?

 

[M's girl]

Last things first.... "Virgin" is your Literotica-status at this moment. After 100 posts it will change automatically into "Experienced", then onto "Very Experienced" and after 500 posts you become a "Literotica Guru" and I think you can change that title into (almost) anything you want as far as I know. Also, if you were wondering.... you can only use an Avatar after (I think) 100 posts.

For answers to a lot of questions like this check out "The Blank Manual". Also take a look there before posting a question yourself; you may already find a lot of answers there...

Oh, and welcome to Lit.... by the way.

So, that was the easy one (question to answer). About your first one? Let me see.... There is no sure place to find women. Bars may work but will you find the kind of woman you are looking for there? You will see that you will meet 'her' in a place you least expect. Can be the supermarket too.... for instance. Lots of contacts nowadays are established online.... that's how I met M. If you would have asked me before if I believed such a relationship could ever start like that or be successfull I would have laughed at you.... but it did.

Other friends of mine hooked up with someone they got to know through mutual friends. Sportsclubs or other places where you will meet other people who share the same interest as you might work as well. But you can sign up with 3 clubs and look online and still find 'the one' living right next door to you. It is something, in my opinion, that just has to find it's way to you...

PS There is also the Literotica Personals (forum) section... you can meet people there too. I have not been there so can't tell you if it's any good, but you can give it a try...

 

[yaitsmeagain]

Ya thats about what I was thinking I would have to do. Im not a big drinker so I think bar are out.. well most of the time. Gues I need to go bye a digetal cam to get my picture on some of the dateing sites. Any body have anything other then that to say? Im still listining. Oh ya and thanks M's girl

 

[_Nina_]

Hi all!
I think M was right with what she said about meeting sum1 with similar interests. Coz meeting in bars & clubs can be ok for a quick fling, if that's what ur after. But especially if ur not a drinker, you'll prob jus end up feelin fake and desparate!!!
I say, get ou there and join sum clubs or groups, whether its an astronomy club, a line dancing class, or a brass band!!!! Lol! Whatever floats ur boat!!
You're more likely to have fun, and start meeting ppl in general, and who knows where it'll lead!

 

[human_male]

Forget the dating sites. You need to get involved in something that has a social scene. Getting together with friends from work, joining some sort of club, anything where you can meet new people. Meeting women comes from there.

 

[M's girl]

Ya thats about what I was thinking I would have to do. Im not a big drinker so I think bar are out.. well most of the time. Gues I need to go bye a digetal cam to get my picture on some of the dateing sites. Any body have anything other then that to say? Im still listining. Oh ya and thanks M's girl

No thanks! Good luck.... and keep us updated.

PS Dating sites is not how I went about it. I still don't believe in the commercial ones. I put an ad on a site like E-Bay, believe it or not. It started out as sort of a joke, although my text was serious. I was just curious what would happen; who would respond and if they would respond at all. I was not desperate, nor was I looking for a serious relationship, but a friend of mine was browsing the section I later put my ad in and I was amazed at number (well, almost all) of shallow ones and thought I could do better. Haha.

To my surprise I got over a dozen reactions within the hour, and they were all kind of serious. Like I said, I would never have though before that, that I would ever meet someone that way, but I did. What was best about it is that we e-mailed and IM-ed and talked on the phone for a few weeks before we decided to meet. By then we knew so much about each other already. We had talked about everything: work, education, politics, music, movies, sex, children, relationships... everything. We had exchanged pictures too. I liked the way this worked out and would do it again, but hope I will never again have to....

 

[M's girl]

Forget the dating sites. You need to get involved in something that has a social scene. Getting together with friends from work, joining some sort of club, anything where you can meet new people. Meeting women comes from there.

I agree. Or from shops....

 

[Eilan]

I agree with what's been said already--you don't have to go to a bar or club to meet women. In fact, I think if you go anywhere with the intention of meeting women, you'll set yourself up for failure.

Is there a discussion forum for this online game you were hooked on? That might be a way to meet someone who has at least one thing in common with you. Unless, of course, you're trying to distance yourself from all that.

If you decide to try the online personals route, keep in mind that on a lot of those sites, men vastly outnumber women, so you have to put effort into your profile and responses to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Even then, there are no guarantees.

Good luck.

 

[SweetErika]

I'll second M's girl's welcome, and would suggest you check out the FAQ to Read Before Posting at the top of this forum. Lots of newbie questions are answered right there.

You've received great advice, and I'd like to add a tip on finding people online. I'd suggest aiming to meet people for friendship, while being open to more if you "click." As Eilan said, men often outnumber women, and many men have the same "Let's hook up/I want a relationship" type of message. I find ads that are clearly aiming for developing a solid friendship through commonalities to be far more attractive and less intimidating because I usually get the impression they (a) have fewer expectations for things like sex and I might feel more comfortable; (b) are more willing to put the time and effort in to develop something good; and (c) probably understand the importance of commonalities, communication, honesty, trust, etc.

Aiming for meeting new people and developing friendships may also be a better way to ease back into the dating world and "brush up" on your skills if necessary. There are lots of completely free sites that are a little more friendship-oriented; OKCupid is one of the top of my head, but Google should yield many more. Interacting and developing friendships on a site like this can also yield great relationships.

Best of luck!

 

[jadefirefly]

I got hooked on a online video game and.....well. I just havent been out there.

Well...

I met my last, and most current, SO's through an online game. Mebbe it's stupid, but if it's that, or a dating site... I'd pick the "interactive chat room", as some are called, over dating sites any day.

You see, it's important to get involved with what you like to do. This is how you find others who like to do what you like to do. Me... I like to play online games.

Of course... I -did- have a slight advantage, being female. The male to female ratio in most games is, what.... 25:1 or so?