Need help, love amateur

[Ahala09]

Hi all, this is my first post and I've read the boards for a little less than a week now. My name is Frank, I just turned 18..8 days ago on the 6th. Anyway, as I said I'm 18 and I'm a bit of a loser you could say. I've never had a kiss, definitely never done...it, or really, had a girlfriend in about 4 years minus the one I'm with now (one 4 years ago kind of turned me off from the whole boyfriend/girlfriend idea until this one). The other day I was taking her home from the traditional movies and dinner and ran into bit of a mix-up and embarassing moment when we got to her house. I've known this girl for a while and we've been friends for a while (never like this mind you). I walked her to the door and we were saying goonight and after a moment I got the feeling that she was expecting a kiss. I backed up not knowing what to do, fell over a plant, and the rest is history that you can guess. I've called her since then several times but got no answer and haven't been able to catch her and talk to her. I really think I unintentionally hurt her feelings and need help patching things up. I shouldn't have panicked but I don't want to mess this up.

 

[bisexplicit]

She might have thought that you were uninterested in kissing her, and naturally she'd be hurt.
And trust me, things always go awkwardly at first and you rarely have those love movie type moments...but you figure it out. It all tends to come fairly naturally.

 

[Ezzy]

Hi all, this is my first post and I've read the boards for a little less than a week now.

My name is Frank, I just turned 18..8 days ago on the 6th. Anyway, as I said I'm 18 and I'm a bit of a loser you could say. I've never had a kiss, definitely never done...it, or really, had a girlfriend in about 4 years minus the one I'm with now (one 4 years ago kind of turned me off from the whole boyfriend/girlfriend idea until this one).

The other day I was taking her home from the traditional movies and dinner and ran into bit of a mix-up and embarassing moment when we got to her house.

I've known this girl for a while and we've been friends for a while (never like this mind you). I walked her to the door and we were saying goonight and after a moment I got the feeling that she was expecting a kiss.

I backed up not knowing what to do, fell over a plant, and the rest is history that you can guess. I've called her since then several times but got no answer and haven't been able to catch her and talk to her.

I really think I unintentionally hurt her feelings and need help patching things up. I shouldn't have panicked but I don't want to mess this up.

If you enjoyed the rest of the evening and it all worked out ok, I would have some flowers delivered with a simple card saying, "I enjoyed the other night, until I fell over like an idiot, please phone me. Frank".

The main thing is to communicate with her as soon as possible, if you don't get on it before the weekend you have probably blown it off to long.

If you know where she works send them there! If you don't then send them to her house!

 

[Ahala09]

Any suggestions?

Any ideas or suggestions of what to do? I've always been very shy and not much experience in any of this. Do I just let it blow over? Do I just keept calling? So confused.

 

[Ahala09]

If you enjoyed the rest of the evening and it all worked out ok, I would have some flowers delivered with a simple card saying, "I enjoyed the other night, until I fell over like an idiot, please phone me. Frank".

The main thing is to communicate with her as soon as possible, if you don't get on it before the weekend you have probably blown it off to long.

If you know where she works send them there! If you don't then send them to her house!

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll try flowers.

 

[SweetErika]

I think the flowers and note are a great idea. Also, when you see her again, be honest. Tell her you really wanted to kiss her because (insert a genuine reason/compliment here), but you got a little nervous, resulting in the fall. Depending on how she responds and where you are, maybe ask if you can give her a hug and kiss right now. I (and I think most women) really respond to that kind of honesty and men sharing their feelings, in large part because it doesn't happen very often. I'd think hearing something like that would be very sweet, make me feel good that I'm special enough to be nervous over, and only add to my attraction.

Good luck! And remember, you may be inexperienced, but you're not a loser, and stuff like this always gets easier with practice.

 

[joseph49]

Don't sweat it

I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18, and on our first date, I kind of picked up on a "kiss me" vibe at the end of the date. I was nervous as hell, but finally leaned in, and she leaned in, and one of my feet slipped on her wet porch, I fell forward and hit my mouth on her bare shoulder(she was wearing a spaghetti strap shirt), cutting her, falling to the porch where I chipped a tooth, sprained a wrist, and actually passed out from the wave of pain. She drove me to the emergency room, where they held me overnight, and I was sure she would never want to speak to me again. The next day, I sent flowers (flowers are ALWAYS good) with a card that read "I had a wonderful time. Emergency room was a storybook ending to a beautiful date. Let's try it without the ER next time." We got married two years ago. So if I can overcome that, you can overcome this.

 

[RamapoNJ]

I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18, and on our first date, I kind of picked up on a "kiss me" vibe at the end of the date. I was nervous as hell, but finally leaned in, and she leaned in, and one of my feet slipped on her wet porch, I fell forward and hit my mouth on her bare shoulder(she was wearing a spaghetti strap shirt), cutting her, falling to the porch where I chipped a tooth, sprained a wrist, and actually passed out from the wave of pain. She drove me to the emergency room, where they held me overnight, and I was sure she would never want to speak to me again. The next day, I sent flowers (flowers are ALWAYS good) with a card that read "I had a wonderful time. Emergency room was a storybook ending to a beautiful date. Let's try it without the ER next time." We got married two years ago. So if I can overcome that, you can overcome this.

amazing story.

 

[TBKahuna123]

OK ladies, slap me if I'm wrong (bisexplicit should be lurking, hand at the ready ) but most women seem to love honesty and vulnerability. I think when a young woman sees a young man who is unnerved by them, they take it more often as a sign that he really likes them, rather than that he is a loser. I'll also go out on a limb and say that any woman who would think you are a loser because of this is shallow and not worth having anyway.

The flowers and card is a superb idea, and if she responds, you'll know what kind of girl she is. If she just blows you off, don't worry about it because it means she's probably pretty shallow and you got off light.

I'll also go along with what Bisexplicit said, the akwardness is natural. I'd also say that the akwardness is fun, at least looking back on it. Those akward moments are some of my best memories.

Well, most of em, anyways.

 

[SweetErika]

OK ladies, slap me if I'm wrong (bisexplicit should be lurking, hand at the ready ) but most women seem to love honesty and vulnerability. I think when a young woman sees a young man who is unnerved by them, they take it more often as a sign that he really likes them, rather than that he is a loser. I'll also go out on a limb and say that any woman who would think you are a loser because of this is shallow and not worth having anyway.

The flowers and card is a superb idea, and if she responds, you'll know what kind of girl she is. If she just blows you off, don't worry about it because it means she's probably pretty shallow and you got off light.

I'll also go along with what Bisexplicit said, the akwardness is natural. I'd also say that the akwardness is fun, at least looking back on it. Those akward moments are some of my best memories.

Well, most of em, anyways.

You're not wrong...those were the points I was trying to make a few posts ago. The moments of raw honesty, vulnerability, and awkwardness are some of my best memories as well, and it's nice to hear some men like you feel the same. A lot of people kick themselves after for "sounding stupid" or being "weak," but I think those times show true character and strength.

 

[taolanes]

I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18, and on our first date, I kind of picked up on a "kiss me" vibe at the end of the date. I was nervous as hell, but finally leaned in, and she leaned in, and one of my feet slipped on her wet porch, I fell forward and hit my mouth on her bare shoulder(she was wearing a spaghetti strap shirt), cutting her, falling to the porch where I chipped a tooth, sprained a wrist, and actually passed out from the wave of pain. She drove me to the emergency room, where they held me overnight

It sounds like there's something about mary. Except I don't think anything could be worse than getting your penis caught during the prom lol

 

[silverwhisper]

joseph, that's beautiful, man. :>

ahala, i think you've gotten some really good advice here. please keep us posted on how it goes! :>

ed

 

[Tonofnoise]

Just my 2 cents

If you really like this person try taking them out during the day. Broad daylight and go to a park or someplace open and talk about how much fun you had last that night. If you get the same responce back be honest. "I have to confess there was one thing I wanted to do last night but I held back." If they ask tell them. If you get the responce "I know" or "So did I" thank go for it and land a nice non-wet one. Most people I've kissed first I kept the thought that I'm out going in almost everything I do so if I don't lay it on the line I'll kick myself later.

PS good luck with what ever you do.

 

[bisexplicit]

OK ladies, slap me if I'm wrong (bisexplicit should be lurking, hand at the ready ) but most women seem to love honesty and vulnerability. I think when a young woman sees a young man who is unnerved by them, they take it more often as a sign that he really likes them, rather than that he is a loser. I'll also go out on a limb and say that any woman who would think you are a loser because of this is shallow and not worth having anyway.

The flowers and card is a superb idea, and if she responds, you'll know what kind of girl she is. If she just blows you off, don't worry about it because it means she's probably pretty shallow and you got off light.

I'll also go along with what Bisexplicit said, the akwardness is natural. I'd also say that the akwardness is fun, at least looking back on it. Those akward moments are some of my best memories.

Well, most of em, anyways.

*puts slapping hand away*

I agree.

 

[Râleclins]

And you're not the only one who has hardly ever had a girlfriend at age 18. I myself got my first kiss when I was 18 year old. Of course, during high school, we thought that everybody was already dating and fucking. But the fact is, they weren't.
Many, many, many people have never kissed (and don't even speak about fucking) at your age. I think there was a thread like "I've had my first kiss a week ago..." some days ago.

And I remember being very clumsy too with my first ex. Don't worry. You'll laugh at this story soon.

 

[Ahala09]

Well

Going to take the suggestions and go pick up some flowers today. Going to take them to her house after she gets off work (and pray work hasn't gotten her down) and try the other night over again...minus the falling and embarassment part that is.

 

[bisexplicit]

Even if things don't go perfectly this time - or even if she rejects another chance for you two to be together - realize that its gonna be okay and work out. Things have to go bad before things can get better, most of the time. And now, you'll know what to do (at least, sortof) in the future.

 

[SummerMorning]

I remember my glasses fogging. That was annoying. However, the rest of the kissing went rather well - it didn't get much further than that though.

Ahala "Frank", trust me, even if the flowers and everything else doesn't work out, it's no biggie. You're just 18. You're male so you'll be 'young' (and stupid like the rest of us) for at least 20 more years. Then about five years later you'll have a midlife crisis and be stupid for another 20 years. Then you'll settle down for about five years, by which time you'll start taking viagra Mk 4 and you'll be stupid for another 20 years. Then you'll die. But you'll have fun.

Honestly, I don't know *what* women see in us men. :lol:

 

[bisexplicit]

Honestly, I don't know *what* women see in us men. :lol:

Most of the time, we don't know what we see in you either.

 

[Ahala09]

You're male so you'll be 'young' (and stupid like the rest of us) for at least 20 more years. Then about five years later you'll have a midlife crisis and be stupid for another 20 years. Then you'll settle down for about five years, by which time you'll start taking viagra Mk 4 and you'll be stupid for another 20 years. Then you'll die. But you'll have fun.

lol...that makes me feel really good

 

[Wickid Cherry Pie]

This thread is so endearing, reminds me of all those awkward moments that I experienced as I delved into the world of romance.
The flowers will be an excellent gesture.
I really don't have any advice to offer that hasn't already been given, just wanted to wish you luck and please keep us updated.

 

[Ahala09]

Cheers...I think

Well, I did what was suggested. I took the flowers and we sat for a while at her house just talking and I explained what happened. She was pretty understanding about it and just said that she had no idea that I was...unexperienced in these things. She agreed to not be mad but I have to go see the kissiest, mushiest, most chick flickish movie with her on Friday...oh the torture. After that I plan on making up for my little mishap by doing my best. It may not be pretty but I'll try lol.

 

[Eilan]

Well, I did what was suggested. I took the flowers and we sat for a while at her house just talking and I explained what happened. She was pretty understanding about it and just said that she had no idea that I was...unexperienced in these things. She agreed to not be mad but I have to go see the kissiest, mushiest, most chick flickish movie with her on Friday...oh the torture. After that I plan on making up for my little mishap by doing my best. It may not be pretty but I'll try lol.

Good for you.

 

[SweetErika]

Well, I did what was suggested. I took the flowers and we sat for a while at her house just talking and I explained what happened. She was pretty understanding about it and just said that she had no idea that I was...unexperienced in these things. She agreed to not be mad but I have to go see the kissiest, mushiest, most chick flickish movie with her on Friday...oh the torture. After that I plan on making up for my little mishap by doing my best. It may not be pretty but I'll try lol.

Great job, and it sounds like she's a good woman. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully on Friday night. Best of luck!

 

[Ezzy]

Yeh! Way to go...

Always remember you get further with a soft word and some flowers than with just a soft word.