Need sagely advice please!

[TheAverseVirgin]

Hello all!

I need advice on a predicament that struck me the night before...

I'm 23, male, and still a virgin. It was mostly by choice, I spent about the last four years dealing with personal issues, very little social life while I went through a lot of self-psychiatry. After finally sorting myself out I've gotten back out there, and have now been dating a certain fine young girl for a couple weeks now.

So two nights ago after a hard day of holiday shopping I go over to give her a (in my best Austin Powers impression) sensual massage. I used some wonderful watermelon flavored warming massage oil. Thing were going along nicely, VERY nicely. I had her dripping wet and begging for me (many thanks to all you How To contributors for some fine tips!), but I had one major issue.

I just couldn't get erect. I was unbelievably turned on by her, it's insane how sexy she is. I fell totally comfortable with too, it's not like I was nervous. Quite the opposite in fact, I was dying to give it to her, it just seems the only part of me not interested was the one part I really needed to cooperate.

The only thing I can think of is the fact that I've been helping myself to myself for so long my psyche is just too tuned in into porn and not the real thing. I'm holding off on any self-gratification in hopes that it will help me, but I'd also apreciate any thoughts or tips from you ladies and gents.

PS~ Another big thanks to you How To contributors. I may have gone home personally a little dissapointed, but at least I was able to give my girl a good time.

PPS~ Cunnilingus is great!

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Dude its nerves. I went through the same thing the first time I went to have sex. Even if you are not nervous, mentally you can be scared, or shy about being naked around her, or countless other things. Don't worry about it. What I did was spent time on her more and waited for my guy to do his job when he was ready. I helped myself with some masterbating, but nothing huge, just enough to help it go, It took about 2 experiences to get myself going and now I am fine.

Don't worry about it at all, happens to alot of people. Just get more comfortable with her naked, and you naked and you will be really fine.


Ravin

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Hello all!

I need advice on a predicament that struck me the night before...

I'm 23, male, and still a virgin. It was mostly by choice, I spent about the last four years dealing with personal issues, very little social life while I went through a lot of self-psychiatry. After finally sorting myself out I've gotten back out there, and have now been dating a certain fine young girl for a couple weeks now.

So two nights ago after a hard day of holiday shopping I go over to give her a (in my best Austin Powers impression) sensual massage. I used some wonderful watermelon flavored warming massage oil. Thing were going along nicely, VERY nicely. I had her dripping wet and begging for me (many thanks to all you How To contributors for some fine tips!), but I had one major issue.

I just couldn't get erect. I was unbelievably turned on by her, it's insane how sexy she is. I fell totally comfortable with too, it's not like I was nervous. Quite the opposite in fact, I was dying to give it to her, it just seems the only part of me not interested was the one part I really needed to cooperate.

The only thing I can think of is the fact that I've been helping myself to myself for so long my psyche is just too tuned in into porn and not the real thing. I'm holding off on any self-gratification in hopes that it will help me, but I'd also apreciate any thoughts or tips from you ladies and gents.

PS~ Another big thanks to you How To contributors. I may have gone home personally a little dissapointed, but at least I was able to give my girl a good time.

PPS~ Cunnilingus is great!

It does sound like you've put some pressure on yourself and that's probably stopping you up a bit. When I was regularly dating I would go through that from time to time with women that I wasn't yet comfortable around. Not sure why. But we would typically find ways around it and everything would be fine in the long run.

Maybe she should give you the massage?

 

[human_male]

Well, just to make sure there's nothing physically wrong I'd go get looked at. If you're ok, I think you just need to be relaxed around her in a naked sort of way and not worry about it. In time, when you're cool with just laying there all floppy, and you realise she's ok with it and doesn't take it personally, then things will sort themselves out. So that's where talking to her about it comes in.

When I had a girl friend long, long ago, the same thing happened to me. In my case though, although I wanted to do it, I wasn't really turned on by her but I was too young to realise that. When I realised that I couldn't get hard with her I became totally unwilling to get naked in front of her, or let her go anywhere near it. I can remember laying there on her bed, during an afternoon of petting, and she starts unbuckling my belt. I actually made an excuse about having to use the bathroom. I should have just relaxed, let her get it out and just got comfortable with that. If she showed concern about why it wasn't hard I could have just assured her there wasn't a problem with her and I was loving what she was doing.

So I think that's what you should do. I think her giving you a massage is a great idea, just let her know you're enjoying her touching you and you ARE turned on. Then just see how things go.

Or, if you want to go the more immediate rout, get some viagra and try that just for the first one or two times.

Let us know how you go.

 

[tryptamine]

You also need to keep in mind that for you to get an erection it's going to need more than you just wanting her...she is going to have to do things that turn you on. You might really enjoy turning her on and that might do lots for you, but she also needs to give it back.

You don't get an erection by just wanting one, you get one by experiencing things that arouse you.