Nerves, long distance relationship, etc.

[Precious Enchantment]

Well, I've posted a few times here and received some great advice [thanks guys!] so I figure, hey.. why not.

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now, and have never met in person. We met online, through a mutual friend [he works with him, I knew him from an online community where I DJ] and clicked pretty much instantly. He is in Phoenix, Arizona - I am in Byron Bay, Australia.

He was recovering from a messy, eight year relationship wherein he had taken her on a vacation planning to propose and she acted distant the whole time, then - at the end of said vacation - told him she wasn't going home with her. He's 24 and I am soon to turn 20. We've spent probably a thousand hours talking on the phone, and many many more chatting via the internet.

Now that you have a little background.

I'm heading over there on the 9th of September so that we can finally meet. I am rather nervous and looking for any advice those of you who've had online-come-real-life relationships have about how to manage our first meeting and .. well.. everything after that.

We've had a fairly active '[phone] sex life' since we started talking and I'm really nervous about bringing that to real life. As I've mentioned in previous threads I am a 'plus size' lady and have in the past found it difficult to feel sexy with a guy.. the phone sex made it so much easier for me, and I've found myself so comfortable with him because while he has seen me on webcam and in photos, I've always been clothed so I never felt.. I don't know, un-sexy. So I'm also looking for words of advice on how to feel more comfortable with myself, or maybe even feel a little more sexy. I've tried buying sexy lingerie [which proves to be difficult as a size 42DD] and it DOES make me feel a little naughty, but you've gotta take that off at some point, right? hehe.

Thanks for reading this novel, and I hope to get some helpful replies.

Love,
Precious Enchantment.

 

[bertrande]

Well, I've posted a few times here and received some great advice [thanks guys!] so I figure, hey.. why not.

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months now, and have never met in person. We met online, through a mutual friend [he works with him, I knew him from an online community where I DJ] and clicked pretty much instantly. He is in Phoenix, Arizona - I am in Byron Bay, Australia.

He was recovering from a messy, eight year relationship wherein he had taken her on a vacation planning to propose and she acted distant the whole time, then - at the end of said vacation - told him she wasn't going home with her. He's 24 and I am soon to turn 20. We've spent probably a thousand hours talking on the phone, and many many more chatting via the internet.

Now that you have a little background.

I'm heading over there on the 9th of September so that we can finally meet. I am rather nervous and looking for any advice those of you who've had online-come-real-life relationships have about how to manage our first meeting and .. well.. everything after that.

We've had a fairly active '[phone] sex life' since we started talking and I'm really nervous about bringing that to real life. As I've mentioned in previous threads I am a 'plus size' lady and have in the past found it difficult to feel sexy with a guy.. the phone sex made it so much easier for me, and I've found myself so comfortable with him because while he has seen me on webcam and in photos, I've always been clothed so I never felt.. I don't know, un-sexy. So I'm also looking for words of advice on how to feel more comfortable with myself, or maybe even feel a little more sexy. I've tried buying sexy lingerie [which proves to be difficult as a size 42DD] and it DOES make me feel a little naughty, but you've gotta take that off at some point, right? hehe.

Thanks for reading this novel, and I hope to get some helpful replies.

Love,
Precious Enchantment.

Good on you for having the guts to go and meet this guy.


I met (and propositioned) a guy online earlier this year and we have met. We both live in the same state in Aus -although 200 k's apart - and have challenges just trying to get together. We have different working hours, both have kids and other lives that get in the way.

I found the most negative thing to be, that I want to spend more time with him but we find it difficult to swing it at times (we have 4 whole days together in October, our longest period together). The most positive thing is that we have had to learn to communicate in a very different way from most new relationships - a lot of new relationships are very physical to begin with, yet with online relationships it is often different (IMO).

I met him at my house (the first time and had sex with him too) but for some reason it seemed right - I would be hesitant to do it the same way again if we don't make it as a couple.

As you can see by my AV I am a voluptuous woman with DD breasts and a size 14 (Aus) bottom half. Feeling sexy is more in the mind than anything else. You dress a shop dummy in sexy clothing but without living breathing flesh underneath it will not be the same - embrace who you are. He has seen you on cam. Go meet him and have the time of your life.


PM me if you would like to talk more in private at all.


Good luck

 

[ShyVixen]

I am in exactly the same situation. I'm going to meet my online love for the first time in November, although I'm nervous, I cannot wait to see him.

As for the lingerie, again I was in the same predicament (I'm a 38DD and an english size 18 on the bottom half), but I found a wonderful website:

http://shop.hipsandcurves.com/Index.asp

they have some lovely stuff, and very sexy too I might add

 

[averageblonde]

My friend met somebody online and she has been talking to him for 6 months now and she is meeting him on the 19th of September. They have never seen each other, so this might be weird for them. The only advice that I can really give you is that sexy is an attitude. You are fine just the way you are; and this guy has seen you before and didn't go running screaming, so you will be fine. Good luck!

 

[red_jane_doe]

As far as being reluctant to take off your clothes in front of him, I have always figured that people can tell when I AM wearing clothes that I am a big girl, they're not going to be very surprised when I'm naked that I'm big then too! If you get to the point of being intimate with him you've got to assume that he's attracted to you already. If he's wanting to have sex with you, he's attracted to something about you. If you feel sexy, you'll be sexy!

The only lingerie I can wear are pretty panty/bra sets with maybe a sheer robe because when I try to wear a nightie, my boobs hang way below where they are supposed to and look silly! Lane Bryant has pretty lingerie, usually!

 

[AngelicAnguish]

I met my SO online in 1998. We talked for about 6 months before we decided to meet, well ok he took a joke I said about coming to visit and informed me the next day he had bought a ticket. I was petrified. I had never seen a picture of him though we had talked for hours on end. At that time he was nothing more than a good friend. I showed up to the airport late to pick him up. But once we were together we talked about everything and anything. It just clicked!

You two have spent so much time talking and getting to know one another that when you see each other in person it will probably just flow naturally.

Just role with it. I remember the one thing I told my mom was even if we didn't "hit it off" we would at least have alot of fun since we had the same interests!

Here we are now in 2005... married with 2 kids and happier than I could have imagined!

Good luck!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

My man and I met a little more than a year ago online, and within a week we met in person. I can tell you that I was a little bit nervous about the whole size thing and what he would think since I'm a plus size girl too. We didnt talk a whole lot on the phone or anything before getting together. But at one point, I did bring it up, despite knowing that he'd seen a few pictures of me. He reassured me some on the phone that size didnt matter, but I still had my doubts. Let me tell you, if he's okay with it on the phone and online, he will most likely not have any problems in person with you (my man and I have been together over a year now).

I was a bit nervous about the whole meeting for the first time with the thoughts of "what if he thinks I'm not pretty enough" and whatever else along those lines. When I first saw him, and I noticed he was checking me out some, that totally made all of those thoughts disappear and made me feel like I was some sort of a goddess (and it's a feeling that I doubt will ever go away). You can be nervous all you want beforehand, just keep in mind that he will probably be thrilled to have you and more than excited to be with you.

As far as expecting the real sex to be, don't. That will only cause your thoughts to wander and your expectations to soar. Fantasize some, but not too much, and dont expect it to happen on the first night. Just relax some about it overall and dont push for it, even though it's pretty obvious that you want it to happen.

The one thing that has helped me over the years, that may help you, is that I tell myself that size is not a physical state, it is a mental state. So, if you feel like you're beautiful and normal and are confident, than that is how you will portray yourself to him.