New Dom for me!

[rosco rathbone]

Good luck!

A woman's domdar always knows the good apples from the bad. Trust your feeelings, Luke!

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yes, I am aware that sex is probably the most important thing on his mind. I spoke to him on the phone last night, and he said a lot of stuff in regards to sex. I guess what I like is that sex is not the only thing he wants to talk about. We've talked about stuff we both like, music, politics, languages, and he seems to really want to be friends as well as lover/master or whatever.

you keep saying yes im aware, yes i know and yes you are right and adding but right behind it to anything that is posted. you are asking for your own trouble an it seems you want the ppl who post heres blessing, you arent gonna get it because i think we all can see from past posts from you how silly what you are doin really is. im thinking i for one can see why your parents have you on a short leash.im not trying to be rude but i am gonna be honest. grow up first, learn more about the real world, make yourself into a strong productive person and then if this lifestyle is still what you want ...go for it.
BTW...and this is totally my opinion... you have responsibilites as a sub just as a dom does. you cant exchange power or give up control to a person if you dont hold both of those in your own hand first darling. Would that be fair to the dominant?

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Oh no, I really do understand what everyone has said. I read it, and then I wonder how I go about accomplishing all this. I mean it's very easy to say to join a group of some sort and make friends, it's just not as easy as that for me. I know everyone means well, but it's just not that easy. As far as getting everyone's blessing, I don't think I'm trying to do that. however, I do seem to need my parents blessing for everything I want to do, and no matter what it is, I never get it. I don't know, I'm messed up and don't know how to get straightened out.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Oh no, I really do understand what everyone has said. I read it, and then I wonder how I go about accomplishing all this. I mean it's very easy to say to join a group of some sort and make friends, it's just not as easy as that for me. I know everyone means well, but it's just not that easy. As far as getting everyone's blessing, I don't think I'm trying to do that. however, I do seem to need my parents blessing for everything I want to do, and no matter what it is, I never get it. I don't know, I'm messed up and don't know how to get straightened out.

you keep saying its just not easy....***** and living it are not easy things to do darling, but you dont have much of a choice. stop making excuses and just do what you have to do to make your life more livable, and that doesnt mean finding a dom...it means finding you first.

 

[shelleb4]

Nice one KC

so submissivedove? what BUT's can you come up with now? umm?
or are you gonna start living!

ps, im 3/4 blind myself, it doesnt bother me, if you cant change something, dont stress over it, move around it.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Well, I certainly will try. I have counselors at Services for the blind and they've been telling me a lot of the same stuff. I feel like I can after talking to them, but then I get home and my parnets give me grief, and I go back to thinking negatively again. There have been things I've overcome, but for the past three years it's been worse. It was the same way when I had limited vision in one eye too.

 

[heckle]

Have you ever sat down and talked with your parents abotu why they give you so much grief or even let them know that you feel that way? They sound like they are worried abotu you and they do not want anything happening to you. But, they have to give you room to grow. You have to make choices of your own and deal with them on your own. Noone has ever said that life is fair and it is not. In order for someone to exist in this lifestyle, they have to be strong. I do not mean physically strong but strong on the inside. From what I have read about your situation, you are looking for acceptance in any form. This can lead to trouble for someone who does not have a strong positive image of themselves. It takes a strong person to give up control to another. To do this you have to have a good grip on yourself and be able to look at the bigger picture.

Anyone who you meet online who says that they just want to be friends first and talk about sex is a bad sign. This normally means that they want to meet, screw you and then move on. If you are looking for acceptance for who you are, look around for a local Munch or group function. If I remember right, you are in RI. There are some BDSM groups in the Newport area and I am sure other places. I know a couple of people from there who are members of the same BDSM group I am a member of. If you would like, I could try to put you in contact with them. Instead of jumping back into a relationship, why not stroll in smoothly and slowly. If you would like, drop me a PM or an e-mail or just reply here if you will feel better. The only thing that I ask is that you take a look at what you are doing, where your road is taking you and make an honest decesion. Find out who you are and what you want. Find out if there are any classes that you can take to help you relax. Yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, etc.

We can all give you our thoughts, experiances and advice but you are the one who will make the final decesion. If you have questions, please ask. When people answer, please take the answers under advisement. Others may have been in a similar situation or helped others through something similar. Once you have some advice, "step back" and try to think of other options and what else could be chosen. Then you can make an informed decesion. If you want to use forums like this as a sounding board, that is fine. The key point is in making an informed choice.

Take care and good luck.

 

[Vixandra]

You have to trust and love yourself before you can do the same for another or exect someone else to love and trust you.

I'm not the social butterfly type, I've a few close friends and everyone else is kept out of that inner part of me. Its hard letting down that wall but you have to or you're going to be all alone.

The kind of alone where you're sitting in a room of people and yet still feel as if there's no one around you, no one who could understand.

 

[NCShin]

I noticed in your profile you state, "unemployed due to disability"

I think that might be at least part of your problem. I'm not blind, and honestly I can't say I even know anyone who is. I have to think that there are jobs that you can get though, there has to be websites, or resources for you that offer training, and lists of jobs that blindness can be worked around.

It doesn't have to be a great job, but something to get you out of the house, meet other people, make friends in real life.

When I wasn't working it was one of the lowest points in my life. I sat home, surfing the web, bored for 95% of the day. I had to move back home with my parents, and I was depressed. How could I have gotten into a relationship when I was in such a state? I couldn't have, it would have been pointless. I wasn't happy with myself, how could I have been happy with someone else?

My point is much the same as the above posters. Get yourself together before trying to get involved with someone else.

 

[Marquis]

How do blind people use the internet?

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

"How do blind people use the internet?"

I use a screen reader which reads everything on the screen to me. It can be annoying at times, but most of the time, I block out the voice, lol. I don't need it for typing though, I taught myself how to type way before I lost my sight.

As far as the job goes, I agree. I think it would help quite a bit. I've been working on getting a job, but so far haven't been able to. I'm still trying though.

 

[Xelebes]

My point is much the same as the above posters. Get yourself together before trying to get involved with someone else.

This is exactly what I am doing. Too much instability right now that I am way too unsure of myself to get into a relationship. One step at a time.

 

[Waltheof]

A sub ?????

My lovely young friend,

you are not a sub, and so, do not need a master.
I do not know your history, so you must accept my applologies for being so frank.

You have an over-reliance upon your parents which has led to you believing that you need to be controlled. Inspite of popular beliefe, most subs have seen life from both sides and have chosen to be lead. This, in my view, you have not.

You have many and complicated issues in your life, and you need to take control of all this ephemera before you can truly "give" yourself to someone else. I have somebody who wishes to serve me and be dominated, not someone who wishes me to control them.

I agree with the idea of picking a degree, any degree that you fancy, and sticking too it. One of the things that we all need, as human beings, is the validation of our own success. A good sub knows that they are successful, how else can they know when they are doing there're best?

So you can't find a job because of your lack of experience! Well get up of your backside and volounteer your services with a charitable organisation. You are obviously reasonably skilled with a keyboard, and you are net savvy. So don't just sit there whining, do something!!!!! You will meet new and wonderful people, and travel to new and wonderful places, and you will gain the experience that any employer would need.

BEWARE!!!!
This site is set up and run by and for people who want sex, cyber-sex,....imaginary sex.....real sex....kinky sex......all kinds of sex, BUT!!! sex is the reason we are all here. Think long and hard before you make any on-line relationship, here or anywhere else, because in one shape or form......we are all preditors, even you with your broken wing.

I wish for you only the things that you desire.

take care Broken Wing

W.

 

[NCShin]

Re: A sub ?????

BEWARE!!!!
This site is set up and run by and for people who want sex, cyber-sex,....imaginary sex.....real sex....kinky sex......all kinds of sex, BUT!!! sex is the reason we are all here. Think long and hard before you make any on-line relationship, here or anywhere else, because in one shape or form......we are all preditors, even you with your broken wing.


W.

I disagree with this 100% I think that there are many here who are not preditors. I think many are here to learn.

 

[Xelebes]

Re: Re: A sub ?????

I disagree with this 100% I think that there are many here who are not preditors. I think many are here to learn.

Like me, I think.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

I really don't know what to say.In my mind, sex is good, it's not bad. I may not think of it entirely as everyone else does.

I've had a very emotional day, which I was going to tell my mother about, but then I thought, "Why bother, she doesn't listen anyway, she's too drunk"

 

[Esclava]

SubmissiveDove,

I cannot tell you anything that hasn't already been said on this thread.

I do feel the need to send you a hug and let you know that you do not have to be as dependent as you have been. OK, so your eyesight is gone. Your life is not over...Take it back! Take back your life, your sanity, your independence - All of it!

You have to WANT it to make it happen. Take small steps - baby steps - but take the steps. You will find that with each small step, you develop a little more confidence and with each shot of confidence, you will WANT to take another step.

DREAM like you'll live forever; and LIVE like you'll die tomorrow!

Find yourself, first! I promise the search will be more than worth it. Be well and best of luck to you!

Esclava

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Regarding your parents:


Now, I don't have the difficulty with my eyes that you have, and I am fortunate in that. I do, however, have asthma that is pretty severe sometimes, and I've had multiple trips to the hospital over it, when medications or allergies go out of whack. So I do have that 'disability', if you will.

The two most liberating things I've done regarding my parents went in this order:

1) I told my mother to fuck off, I was not her, and to quit trying to live through me, because I wouldn't be her success story.

2) I moved out. I was at home for the summer in 2002, and was looking for work, having NO luck finding it.. and I went out with friends one night. My dad got pissed because he felt that I wasn't trying hard enough to find work, and he kind of flipped.. screamed at me, and hung up the phone (I had called to tell him I would be home later than we'd thought... at least I'd called!). I went home than night, literally afraid of being hit, I had never heard my dad so angry (there was a lot behind that, it was only a couple months before my parents announced their separation). Anyway, I left the next day to go to the island to visit my bf, and two days later we came back to my house, packed all my stuff, and moved me, all in one day. I just refused to live there anymore. And I have never looked back.

Both of those things were hard things to do. They were things that could have gotten a huge grudge against me, but they were things I NEEDED to do for my own happiness. My mom and I have gotten MUCH closer, and she's gotten MUCH more normal since I yelled the truth at her. And my parents.. me moving out made it so that they could be honest with each other, and not try to keep the family together for mine and my brother's sake. JEsus, I'd been waiting for the divorce since I was 11.

My point here, is that these things were tough. They were risky. I mean, what if my bf and I broke up? Then I'd be out of a home. What if my mom never forgave me for what I said? Then I'd be short one mother. In the end, Happiness is the Most Important Thing in the world. And I believe that if you believe you can attain it, almost nothing is too precious a thing to give up. In 9 hours, I moved everything I owned out of my parents' house, and into my boyfriend's. We'd not even been dating a year. In 35 seconds, I screamed every angry, awful thing I'd thought about my mom for years, into her face. And y'know what? I landed on my feet.

You have to take risks in order to get where you want to be in this life. Nothing comes without a price... and often the price of happiness is just trusting that you've been a good enough person that karma will reward you.

I wish you luck.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I should add:

I was afraid of being hit that one night, but my parents have NEVER hit me in anger. This night... I was just afraid cus he was so angry.


And secondly, my parents, both of them, and I are closer than we ever were.

 

[incubus'_sub]

I really think we're being strung along here. Now we have a drunken mother on top of all the other dreadful woes, although on second thought, maybe she has to get drunk to cope with such a pitiful excuse for a daughter. I'm almost driven to drink & I only read about it !!

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

incubus'_sub

Excuse Me! I do have my good points, I just don't have any opportunities to use them. I know it may just sound like another excuse, but it's kind of hard to go out and do things when I can't even get out of my house! I'm scared to death of breaking my neck going down my ramp, that's how steep it is. I know I could have it redone, but that takes money, and money is something I don't have!

 

[heckle]

Escuse Me! I do have my good points, I just don't have any opportunities to use them. I know it may just sound like another excuse, but it's kind of hard to go out and do things when I can't even get out of my house! I'm scared to death of breaking my neck going down my ramp, that's how steep it is. I know I could have it redone, but that takes money, and money is something I don't have!

Not to sound mean or anything but, if you have these disabilities that effect you to such a degree, have you filed for disability or SSI?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Not to sound mean or anything but, if you have these disabilities that effect you to such a degree, have you filed for disability or SSI?

and why hasnt social services tried to help you get a job and if you cant work why is there not an aide in your home helping you get around?

 

[Marquis]

This isn't rocket science people, try not to miss the forest for the trees.

 

[SubmissiveDove5]

Change of pace

Recently, a friend of mine told me to make a list of everything that was great about me. He said I could be as conceeded as I wanted to be. So I made a list, and he thought it was very good. Now just to show everyone the good side of me, I'm going to post it.

1) I am smart (Just to expand…I was an honor student throughout my entire primary school career and have maintained a 3.6 gpa in college)

2) I am a very good listener (I seem to have a knack for listening to other people’s problems and have the ability to see the situation objectively)

3) I am very strong willed when it comes to drugs and alcahol (I will not allow myself under any circumstance to become an alcaholic like so many in
my family have had failed at overcoming. I am able to recognize the difference between want and need, and I can honestly say that if ever I decide to drink,
it will be because I want to, not because I need to)

4) I am open-minded

5) I have a good singing voice

6) I am compassionate

7) I am a good writer (I always get anxious when I have to write a paper for a class, but without pressure I enjoy it)

8) I believe that no matter what awful thing someone may have done, everyone has some part of themselves that is good.

9) I have a wide range of interests

10) I love learning new things.

11) I pick up on other languages quickly (I can read Italian pretty well. I may not know what I’m saying, but I can read it)

12) I am very loyal

13) I am an honest person

14) I am attractive

15) I am very obedient.

16) I will listen to any style of music.

17) I am very organized.

18) I always think of others while trying to make a decision.

19) I am a very good typist.

20) I have a photographic memory.

21) I have a good sense of humor.


Now, after I sent my friend this list, he told me this is all the stuff I have to offer a dom. I wouldn't say that I am pathetic, I'd say that I am a generous, caring person, who can't seem to accomplish anything she wants to accomplish because of circumstances she has no control over.