New Literotica Phone Information touch prompts

[Just_4_Giggles]

OMG - this is hilarious!

 

[Eilan]

Press 68 if you'd like to partake in a political discussion, debate, or flame war. Thank you. Your call is important to us. You will be directed to the General Board.
Press 69 if you'd like to know more about the simultaneous giving and receiving of oral gratification.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Hope no one minds if I jump ahead here ...

Dial 666 to have the person of your dreams talk you through a fantazmagorical phone sex session and then hang up on you just before you're going to reach orgasm.

 

[Quoll]

L1k3 D1@l 7o 1f u w@n7 2 5p33k l33t n c4@7 Lolzz.

 

[jadefirefly]

L1k3 D1@l 7o 1f u w@n7 2 5p33k l33t n c4@7 Lolzz.

*laughs* I can't believe I didn't think of this one! Nicely done.

(The sad part is admitting I can read this. Easily. Curse you, online gaming!!!)

 

[Cardinal]

Dial 70 if you just want to make a comment about your 9" uncircumsized penis and pretend to be concerned that women might think it's too big.

 

[Quoll]

Dial 70 if you just want to make a comment about your 9" uncircumsized penis and pretend to be concerned that women might think it's too big.

LOL U C4N7 U5E 70. 70 IS FOR L337
9!1!!1 LOL OMFG TAHTS HU6E LOLZ!11!1!1!!111!1!!!!1! OMG WTF

 

[princess4u]

press 71 if you want to know which foods affect the taste of your cum

 

[SweetErika]

Press 72 if you're a hypocrite [We may overload the line with this one, folks]

 

[Eilan]

Press 73 if you'd like to let your fellow Litsters know that your kinks are superior to theirs.

 

[Cardinal]

Press 74 if you want to know what you can use as a dildo instead of just paying $8 and getting one for yourself.
Press 75 if you want to ask "is this normal" and hope that people say something stupid like "I've never actually tired putting that in there but it sounds fun."
Press 76 if you would like to ask or say something so juvenile that we all know you are only 16 and shouldn't be in here anyway.

 

[riftheotherone]

Press 55 if you're a guy who's afraid that liking a dildo in your ass makes you gay.
Press 56 if you don't know what Kegels are.
Press 57 if you're seeking medical advice.
Press 58 to request Eilan's presence in a cock size thread.

I pressed 56, it didn't tell me what kegels were ;-)

Off to look it up !!

 

[riftheotherone]

I pressed 56, it didn't tell me what kegels were ;-)

Off to look it up !!

Ignorant no more....keep up the 'fitness' regime *lol*

 

[Quoll]

Ignorant no more....keep up the 'fitness' regime *lol*

Thanks for the idea.

Press 77 if you have a question that can be answered by google in 2.5 seconds but you can't be bothered and you want someone else to do it.

 

[CopyCarver]

Press 68 if you’re a stalker who’s trying to con a volunteer editor into giving you the address/phone number/private e-mail of one of Literotica’s authors. (68 will make a direct connection to Jack Kevorkian, thereby terminating your scam with extreme prejudice.)

 

[princess4u]

press 78 if you would like a list of GB'ers who consider themselves superior to anyone on any of the other Lit forums

 

[SweetErika]

Press 79 if your arsenal of helpful advice consists of, "PM me if you need help/a volunteer/someone to practice with/a taste test."

 

[Cardinal]

Press 80 if you are a sweet young inexperienced virgin who is just interested in pleasing her boyfriend and wonders if swallowing would make him happy.
Press 81 if you want to know what cum taste like so when you do please your boyfriend you won't be suprized.

 

[Cardinal]

Press 82 if you are having a hard time coming up with a question to your perversion that just keeps the topic current for you