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Nominated for Oblivion

GroverLang said:
Sounds like the inspiration for a contest. Story must not exceed 2000 words and to include as many “cock as thick as a beer can” etc as possible. Any amount of repetition allowed. An opportunity to write the best, or worst, parody possible.
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I so wan't to say "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! But I have way too much to do. :)
 
Budding Breasts.

The most obvious under aged description of a young girl possible, but yet always seems to make it past that strict under aged rule:confused:
 
Ginlover said:
Yes, yes, yes a short cliche filled story contest.

On 4 inch heels she shimmed towards him. "Hello, stud," she breathed.

"On your knees, bitch," he growled, as his eyes roamed her 5 foot 6 frame with 36 EE pert, volumus, breasts and 24 inch waist and 36 inch hips. Good thing he's a tailor, he thought to himself.

She sank to her knees, pulling his zipper down with her teeth. "Yummy," she gasped, freeing his 10 inch cock, which was at least 5 inches in diameter. She smiled pleased the math class had be helpful.

"Suck" he ordered
"Okay," she mumbled
"Harder," he groaned
"Like this?" she moaned
"Yes," he whispered
"What was that?" she slurped
"Yes," he howled
"Ugh," she choked
"Yes, " he shouted
"Yes," she wailed

Okay I'm losing the will to live

If we do a cliche competition please can we have as much head hopping as possible too?
Click to expand...

The only problem is that in reality people usually do say cliches during sex. They're too distracted to think of anything original.
 
Lori_the_Hoosier said:
You'd be amazed/saddened/mystified at some of the places we've pulled Lego pieces out of; 'nostrils' doesn't even come into it...
Click to expand...

Having lived with a Lego-obsessive teenager, I'm not surprised. It's like beach sand, it gets EVERYWHERE. We were still picking little bits out of the carpet for years after the kid moved out.
 
gunhilltrain said:
The only problem is that in reality people usually do say cliches during sex. They're too distracted to think of anything original.
Click to expand...

In reality it is rather hard to talk with a cock in your mouth. Cliche or eloquent does not really matter that much when you are struggling for breath :)
 
gunhilltrain said:
The only problem is that in reality people usually do say cliches during sex. They're too distracted to think of anything original.
Click to expand...

I totally agree!

This is one reason why I don't have anything on my list for oblivion. Cliches can have their place in erotica, because they capture the way people actually DO think about sex when they are having it or fantasizing about it.
 
AnnieLit said:
In reality it is rather hard to talk with a cock in your mouth. Cliche or eloquent does not really matter that much when you are struggling for breath :)
Click to expand...

I had one story where the (Catholic) lovers had to 'confess' to each other their sexual sins since they had last seen each other (it was part of their foreplay) and then had to do penance.

Lisa: 'And I finally get to the end and he gives me my penance, I have to say five "Hail Marys" with his cock in my mouth. I start busting up laughing and then of course I have to have him do the same thing, and I get his list of sins.'

Even more amusing when the male had to do his penance with his tongue up Lisa.
 
Last edited:
Parody?

If you’re going to go for the parody you should fuck up the systems of measure.

His throbbing 8cm manhood!
 
Does anyone measure cocks in feet? "The taste of his one foot cock was enough for a lifetime..."
 
AlinaX said:
Does anyone measure cocks in feet? "The taste of his one foot cock was enough for a lifetime..."
Click to expand...

Nigerians do, apparently. They've got the record. (Was tempted to write that, "They're holding the record.")
 
AlexBailey said:
If you’re going to go for the parody you should fuck up the systems of measure.

His throbbing 8cm manhood!
Click to expand...

It was the biggest cock she had ever seen. "It must be 228,600μm from tip to sack!" she thought, licking her lips.
 
Ginlover said:
Yes, yes, yes a short cliche filled story contest.

On 4 inch heels she shimmed towards him. "Hello, stud," she breathed.

"On your knees, bitch," he growled, as his eyes roamed her 5 foot 6 frame with 36 EE pert, volumus, breasts and 24 inch waist and 36 inch hips. Good thing he's a tailor, he thought to himself.

She sank to her knees, pulling his zipper down with her teeth. "Yummy," she gasped, freeing his 10 inch cock, which was at least 5 inches in diameter. She smiled pleased the math class had be helpful.

"Suck" he ordered
"Okay," she mumbled
"Harder," he groaned
"Like this?" she moaned
"Yes," he whispered
"What was that?" she slurped
"Yes," he howled
"Ugh," she choked
"Yes, " he shouted
"Yes," she wailed
Click to expand...

Oh, hey, you've read some of my stories :D
 
AlinaX said:
Once again her Vernier caliper proved its worth.
Click to expand...


She rolls her vast tool-chest across the room on impeccably lubricated wheels. Her gloved phalanges probe the depths of its drawers one by one, until she locates and extracts the finest available instruments of measure.
 
yowser said:
Jules Vernier?

Twenty Thousand Cock-lengths Under the Sea?
Click to expand...

"Here, M. Aronnax, are the several dimensions: It is an elongated cylinder, very like a cigar in shape, a shape already adopted in London in several erections of the same sort. The length of this, from stem to stern, is exactly 232 feet, and its maximum breadth is twenty-six feet. It is not built quite like yours, but its lines are sufficiently long, and its curves prolonged enough, to allow it to slide, and oppose no obstacle to its passage. These two dimensions enable you to obtain by a simple calculation the surface and cubic contents. Its area measures 6,032 feet; and its contents about 1,500 cubic yards; that is to say, it weighs 1,500 tons..."
 
Foster's 200-yard erotic gherkin plundered St Mary's Axe, his tall shaft of metal and glass thrusting into London's Leadenhall Street, already a wide open gash in the cityscape...

Most of the reviews were along these lines when the new skyscraper opened...

The building may no longer be known as the Erotic Gherkin, but will be dubbed the Gherkin forever. And vibrators in that design are available.
 
He plunged his 0.0833 fathomed cock into the depths of her welcoming, constricting cunt.
 
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