Not cumming

[huskie]

During sex much anymore. Not that I'm really complaining cause it DOES allow me to fuck longer and I love that most of all. I have no problem in getting a hard on.....just not quite reaching orgasm. Should I be concerned? Is the next thing to go, the erection all together?

 

[PoeticMusings]

No. The purpose of sex is not to orgasm. The purpose of sex is to have fun, feel good and, if you wish, to form a connection with your lover.

Orgasms and cumming have nada to do with it, and as long as the equiptment is working properly, you've got nothing to worry about.

 

[SweetErika]

Do you masturbate a lot, Huskie? If so, try to lay off of that for a while and see if it improves your ability to orgasm during sex. A lot of people just get used to their own touch, and sex provides less stimulation than the stronger grip of a hand, so they can have trouble getting off with sex. Not masturbating, thus re-sensitizing themselves to sex, usually helps.

You might also want to read a story, think about aspects of sex or your partner that really turn you on, or even recall some hot porn during sex, since there's often a mental component to this issue.

 

[wolfpackinCA]

Do you drink very often? Sometimes when I am drinking every night, I start to have problems finishing.

 

[travelboy]

Huskie,

Welcome to the club. I have never been able to cum easily - i have my own reasons which i understand but to answer yr point - its been about 14 yrs later i still am able to maintain an erection forever (well on average about 90 minutes when i start to get a bit raw" ... so unless this is a new issue for you ... i dont think maitaining an erection will be a problem.

ONe of my early girlfriends sent me to a shirnk cause she thought i was holidng out on her and holding back the "gift".

Whilst i understand how frustrating this can be i have too found great benefit in that i have found that now i dont care much whether i do or not and focus more on my partner's experience - which has created all kinds of different levels of awareness and enjoyment.

I will make some generic comments a bit later but specifically i ejaculate more easily when;

- the sex is very unexpected
- I am very tired
- if i get woken up in the middle of the night for sex
- if whilst i am penetratign a girl she runs her hand under my balls and puts two fingers around my shaft, gripping it gently just at the entrance to her vagina
- if i am very relaxed and or a bit drunk.stoned (not that i really do this anymore) etc
- girl specific - i can honestly say out of all my sexual parnters - there have been a handful where it happens with more regularity
- stick the tip of your tongue into the roof of yr mouth (tho this prolongs it for some) or practise any other things that are regular triggers - ie things that may be successful if you masturbate - then try and translate them into sexual intercourse
-the girl has extraordinary vag. muscle control

- i agree that less masturbation can help/extended periods wihtout - but that's no guarantee

-anal does not offer extraordinary benefits - for me anyway

the shrink reckoned i was okay but we discussed a couple of things;

if you are very eager to ejaculate easily during intercourse try
- a little bit of alcohol or dope - or any meditaion etc to relax some more
- if you are getting close try and remember/take yrself back to other "successful " encounters; a bit like muscle memory

I have also found it helps to be open to discussion and experimentation. try and reduce the nu. of partners you have and try and develop a monogomous relationship or at least be with someone who is quite focused on you reaching an end result.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

Eitherway if its just an episode you will be the wiser and most probab better lover for it. ..

l

 

[huskie]

Don't drink or jack off a lot..... I'm thinking it's more my age and not being in real good shape plus I take Blood Pressure meds. But, like I said....I don't have a problem getting hard and lord knows I'm as sexually minded as the next perv.

 

[travelboy]

well if ever there was a reason to get into shape then thats it. but i am in good shape and its never helped me.

how about a chat with a doc.

 

[slok]

Are you circumsized? I believe that if you are that this can lead do slight desinsitization as your head would rub more on underwear etc. The foreskin would usually protect the head so it would be more sensitive to touch when retracted.

Masturbation could also cause you to need more intense stimulation so it may help to lay off that a little if it's something that is done regularly.

Doesn't sound like it's stopping you from doing the job though so try not to worry about it too much.

 

[ralph06]

Cant come

Wondering whats happening to me too. Wife let me do her doggie style, first time ever and Im an ass man but couldnt come!!!

Then she surprised me by getting up to pee at 6am and then getting back in the bunk and snuggling up next to me .....naked and had some great sex and....I couldnt come!!!.

Ive been on BP meds for 5 or 6 years and used to happen a scattered time but the DW has a bit of a low drive so usually Ive got a big load saved up.
No trouble getting hard..it just dont want to pop!

 

[golfadikt2]

I have to admit, I'm glad to see other guys talking about this problem. Although I seem to have the opposite problem. I went to a sex therapist thinking I had premature ejaculation syndrome (is that right?) and she said no, I just masturbated too much. So i laid of masturbating and when my girlfriend and I started making out, I would shoot off.

It's to the point now that I get off, then start eating her out until i'm hard again and able to continue. Of course, the oral and other stimulation I give her in that time pleasures her (often times wearing her out), so I can't complain, but i've never been able to "put it in her" without shooting after a couple of strokes.

 

[SweetErika]

I have to admit, I'm glad to see other guys talking about this problem. Although I seem to have the opposite problem. I went to a sex therapist thinking I had premature ejaculation syndrome (is that right?) and she said no, I just masturbated too much. So i laid of masturbating and when my girlfriend and I started making out, I would shoot off.

It's to the point now that I get off, then start eating her out until i'm hard again and able to continue. Of course, the oral and other stimulation I give her in that time pleasures her (often times wearing her out), so I can't complain, but i've never been able to "put it in her" without shooting after a couple of strokes.

Did this sex therapist explain why she felt masturbation was contributing to your premature/quick ejaculation? Every therapist I've heard speak on this issue gave the exact opposite advice (i.e. masturbating more, before an encounter, or otherwise getting off before sex, helps most guys last longer during sex because there's not such a sense of urgency), so I'm stumped as to why yours would think masturbating too much is a problem.

Furthermore, it seems like not masturbating didn't work at all for you, but getting off first (which could also be accomplished via masturbation) did. Maybe she suggested getting off w/ your partner instead of masturbating for increased intimacy or another psychological reason? If not, I'd say you saw a therapist who didn't know what the hell she was talking about, or perhaps there was some miscommunication.

 

[Quoll]

There does seem to be a link to blood pressure meds and ejaculation ( and other problems ).Harvard

Other problems attributed to high blood pressure or drug therapy for it include: impotence and ejaculation problems in men, painful or uncomfortable intercourse, difficulty having an orgasm in women, and lack of desire in both sexes.