Old(er) guy needing advice

[docisin]

Yeah. The str8 put me off too.

Not sure why this is, most forums of this nature are interested in sexual orientation, but thanks for taking the time to respond

 

[docisin]

Get off the computer; get out and meet someone face to face. Dating sites tend to make people “picky” hoping for someone better to come along.

Yeah, agreed; I’m not overly picky, but they are disposable people sites...thanks for the response....

 

[docisin]

If you have some activity or hobby that you care about, is there an off-the-internet way for you network and meet with other people who share that hobby?

Yep, constantly doing this. Thanks for the response...

 

[docisin]

What the...it's not just gonna be handed to you, my guy!

You will always have to work and hustle for the connections you want with other people until you croak. Especially regarding love, affection, intimacy and sex.

I mean, at age sixty-four, you should know this already. You should have a lifetime of experiences in your bank to glean wisdom from.

But if you can honestly say you find "most women boring," then you are living in the wrong city!].

Thanks for taking the time to respond; I don’t respond to things like I “should” be this, I “should” be that...I am what I am....but I think there’s wisdom in what you say about living in the wrong city...I went from NYC to LA..and yep, lots of differences. I’ll just leave it at that...thanks again...

 

[docisin]

You could give a site like okcupid a try. It's free and people on it seem to be a little bit more laid back and playful since there is not a big monthly fee.

Have fun with your profile, but only post pictures of yourself that are less than 6 months to 1 yr old. Its not cool to pretend to be something you're not just to get a woman's attention. Remember, the end goal is to actually go out on real live dates. I've ended dates very quickly when the man was not honest. Just be yourself, but don't overload your profile with too much rambling information.

One last thing, never send a welcome message with only one or two words... it's too hard to respond to so it will get deleted more often than replied to.

Best of luck to you!

I appreciate the thoughtful response; thanks for taking the time....

 

[docisin]

If you're thinking of going gay you might have accidently stumbled onto your difficulty finding a compatible female.

My attempt at wit. But thanks for taking the time to respond....

 

[docisin]

When it comes to looks, not personality.
But maybe you're right, and that's why he gets stuck with dullards: because he only dates the 10's.

“He” meaning me? Well, I don’t get stuck at the moment with anyone; hence this post. And I’m for SURE not holding out for a 10!

 

[docisin]

You could ask your friends if they know someone who they think you might hit it off with and get an introduction that way or for your coupled up friends if they know someone and would invite them out for a couples/blind date.

You don't know till you try.

Great suggestions; thanks for taking the time to respond....

 

[docisin]

Here’s an observation. High school offers people a chance to meet people in one centralized location, further aided by changing classes periodically. College would be a continuation of that as well. However, once a person settles down, the luxury of meeting numerous people in one centralized location greatly diminishes once they are single again.

So what are the options?

Online dating is successful if you can get past the idea that no one is ever going to be a perfect “10”.

For those who choose not to go that route, there’s other options: church, sporting events, school functions, shopping, etc. The key here is changing places and locations frequently. If you have the same routine of stopping at a certain store on the way to work, you limit the people you meet. Stop at a different store, get gas at another place. Go to the movies at a different time. Don’t do all your shopping at Walmart. Go to Best Buy. Go to clothing stores. Go to Publix, etc. What I’m driving at is change your routine, increase the amount of people you meet.

Will any of this help? There’s no guarantee, but doing the same things over and over doesn’t yield a different result. Sorry.

Oh, and before you run to the bar and buy someone a drink, think twice. Dating someone you meet at a bar guarantees one of two things: either they have a problem or someone got rid of a problem.

Yeah, I’m doing all of this, all of the time; but I do appreciate you taking the time to respond....the advice about the bar....priceless! And true....

 

[docisin]

I'm a woman, age 60. I find most women to be boring. Or at least they seem to be interested in things that I'm not. I don't want to hear what's in that baby diaper. I don't want to hear about that fabulous sale on jeans. Or discuss movies or TV shows. And I don't wear makeup so don't give me advice on that!

That being said, I would never join a dating site. I did briefly only because my daughter said my ex was on there and I wanted to see what lies he was spreading about himself. To do so, I had to join. He must have blocked me as I couldn't see his profile. I immediately closed my account. All but two of those guys (and they were very young) looked like they walked into a wall and didn't recover from it!

I do run across wonderful men online that I click with, but they are always far away. I seem to have nothing in common with the local guys I meet. Not that we really need to have a lot in common but they seem to be into nothing more than sports, hunting, fishing or the great outdoors.

As I was telling a friend the other day, for as much as I hate camping, I could see myself doing it once in a while if I was really into the other person. There just has to be that spark there.

I don't really have much advice for you as we both seem to be in the same or a similar boat. I will say that my single female friends who are my age or older, want nothing to do with men. They'd rather be alone than with a man. Sad.

Thanks for the thoughtful response; I agree pretty much with your assessment; I’m not much one for complaining, but I do look around and observe what’s going on...I think you’re right....

 

[SpeareChucker]

Get a dog.



Cats might eat you should you falter.

 

[docisin]

Get a dog.



Cats might eat you should you falter.

Already been married, thanks

 

[Comshaw]

Okay, serious advice here, please. I’m 64, decent looking (I’ve been told), str8 male and I simply cannot find a partner, g/f, woman, you name it. I’m on the dating sites, I’ve had plenty of “coffee dates,” but I’ve not met a woman I’d be interested in meeting again; granted, I’m an artistic type, kind of off the wall, and I find most women, frankly boring. Maybe it’s the sites I’m on, but I’m looking for advice on how to meet women, where to go, etc. I’ve been told there are far more eligible women looking to meet guys my age, but I’ve yet to see any of that. I’m almost giving up. Hell yes, I want to get laid, but I also want a whole lot more. Thanks for the help. Just sign me:
Thinking of going gay...

There are a lot of eligible women your age. I don't think that's the problem. From the above bolded statement I think it's who your looking for and not where you're looking that is the problem. You've constructed a criteria for a partner and have limited yourself to those parameters. Consequently you view all other available females that don't meet your criteria as unacceptable. I do not say that as criticism. It is neither good or bad, it just is.

Because you're looking for a certain type the only advice i have is look where they are, find out where those who meet your standards congregate and search there. Where that would be I haven't a clue because you didn't detail what you are looking for so I can't offer any suggestions. As a crusty old fisherman though I learned a long time ago, you'll never catch a fish if you're fishing in barren waters.

good luck.

Comshaw

 

[Satinfan162]

Find a volunteer job.

First off I am married and not looking for a date.

If you want to impress a women, volunteer. I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity. Wow, the number of young gals that hit on me was incredible. "Look how strong you are!" "I wish I had you around my place." "Are you single?" "Did you get those abs working here (No!)"

How about Meetup? I am super into astro-photography and joined a Meetup group for a few years. 250 members in our group. Average meetup had 5-10 single gals. My favorite was 62. I was 48 at the time. She would constantly ask if I had any hot single friends that might be interested in her!

I am 52 and my buddy is my age, he has been crushing the babes at the booming sport of pickleball. All kinds of people are playing as it is social and easy as hell.

Doubles players are 20 feet from each other. I see yoga pants and spandex more at pickle ball courts than the tennis courts (My sport of choice).

Church? The Mormons will pair you up with a young once (only by ex husband) banged hottie if you got cash and willing to pay the required 10% to marry in their temples.

Women at the last available Catholic Mass on Sunday night are often loose, drunk, and looking to party after church. Show up late and look in the last few rows. Ask them if they want to go to Happy Hour after church? I did this all the time until I got married worked great.

My buddy has tat's on his fingers. He joined a Christian Dating site looking like a complete punk. Got laid a lot. Many of the girls bought him home to Mom and Dad to start a war with the uber christian parents. So fun!

 

[Kantarii]

Yeah, I’m doing all of this, all of the time; but I do appreciate you taking the time to respond....the advice about the bar....priceless! And true....

Yeah, I thought you’d get a kick out of the advice about the bar.

 

[docisin]

There are a lot of eligible women your age. I don't think that's the problem. From the above bolded statement I think it's who your looking for and not where you're looking that is the problem. You've constructed a criteria for a partner and have limited yourself to those parameters. Consequently you view all other available females that don't meet your criteria as unacceptable. I do not say that as criticism. It is neither good or bad, it just is.

Because you're looking for a certain type the only advice i have is look where they are, find out where those who meet your standards congregate and search there. Where that would be I haven't a clue because you didn't detail what you are looking for so I can't offer any suggestions. As a crusty old fisherman though I learned a long time ago, you'll never catch a fish if you're fishing in barren waters.

good luck.

Comshaw

Absolutely true, and spot on. Thanks for taking the time to offer the advice...

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

Wookin Pa Nub ~ Buckwheat


https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Buckwheat-.png

 

[butters]

what is it you are looking for in a woman? be clear in your own mind as to what would make a woman "interesting" to you and not boring.

if it's a case of shared interests, books/mythology/music/the paranormal/exploring science... whatever it is, there are websites all over to join and make friends. don't go looking to hit on someone, take your time to have conversations, get to know people.

if you find people 'boring' who like the sort of things a lot of women around your age seem to (everyone's different but the surface conversations may give a false impression), find a soul young at heart - or even young! if you crave a soul who loves to dance and eat toasted marshmallows off a stick whilst listening to you talk about your art (whatever that is) and find you endlessly fascinating because they don't paint/write/sing whatever, then make sure you advertise the sort of person you'd really like to meet. if you want someone you can share detailed discussions with regarding the art-form you like, don't choose someone who'd rather eat worms than educate themselves/already have a shared interest there.

is it a case of them saying they're mentally/spiritually like this when they're really like that? oh well, happens to everyone. maybe they thought you were something other than they expected, too.

there's no fixed equation; you could find what you're seeking in the most unlikely places, and the most likely may offer only more ennui. my best advice is quit looking, start enjoying being you; makes you infinitely more attractive to women and gives them a better idea of who you really are - so that'll improve your chances of finding someone more in keeping with your artistry.


of course, if your 'artistic' nature means you enjoy endless hours of tying someone up shibari style and get offended when the woman doesn't really find it a fun date - i would say you've gotta fish in the right pond (as comshaw suggests!) honesty's the most important thing in all of this - honesty with yourself and honesty with people you speak with.