Older or Younger? Your choice!

[Sapphiregem]

Seriously, thanks hon. When the sex is over, if you can't communicate, what happens...turn over and go to sleep...what the hell is that good for? [/B]

Well I think, the sex is over when you want it to be over?

And communicate, without be able to talk, then I feel everything is over, I agree with you Hornymama I could not just meet anyone just for sex

 

[College_geek]

you're a smart man....yes, sex is a wonderful thing but i would have to have the communication and such that goes with a good relationship. i couldn't have sex for just "sex" i don't think...

That's the main reason I'm against casual sex. Granted people can do whatever the hell they want, I can't change the way they think, but personally, I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone if there wasn't going to be talk before, during, and after the intimacy. Wait, I take that back. I don't consider "sex for just sex" to be intimate, because of the lack of communication. Talking is one of the most intimate things a person can do, to me at least. I wouldn't want to share myself with someone who wouldn't share themselves with me verbally as well as physically, or wouldn't speak with me again after we has been physical. (I've heard too many stories of friendships ending because of casual sex between one another.)

 

[Sapphiregem]

That's the main reason I'm against casual sex. Granted people can do whatever the hell they want, I can't change the way they think, but personally, I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone if there wasn't going to be talk before, during, and after the intimacy. Wait, I take that back. I don't consider "sex for just sex" to be intimate, because of the lack of communication. Talking is one of the most intimate things a person can do, to me at least. I wouldn't want to share myself with someone who wouldn't share themselves with me verbally as well as physically, or wouldn't speak with me again after we has been physical. (I've heard too many stories of friendships ending because of casual sex between one another.)

Right I agreewhit you On casual sex, also how can people just look for F/B? Wow to me they must be really hard up?

 

[tn_8tiv]

Very interesting comments here. I know a lot of people in their 40's and 50's that are so self-centered that their only desire is to satisfy their own desires and have no concern for their partner's. For them, sex is a one-sided activity that leads to an orgasm and after that, nothing! So sad!

Sex, to me, goes through three phases. The first is when passion brings two people together and the only driver is the desire to get as close to each other as physically possible. It is a purely physical attraction and this is why people tend to migrate toward their own age and the physical appearances of each other.

The second phase of sex is when two people begin to understand each other's needs and begins to learn how to best fulfill those needs while satisfying their own desires. This requires open communication between both individuals and in a lot of instances, requires the breakdown of taboos that resulted from childhood training. There are many people who never reach this phase of a relationship. It just takes too much effort.

The final phase of sex is when two people can simply look into each other's eyes and the communication takes place. The love, the passion, the desire communicates itself. The act of intercourse simply blends into the whole of the relationship and words, spoken or unspoken, take on a unique and deep meaning.

When two people reach this third level of a relationship, there is a bond that exists that permits the sexual acts to be something extraordinary and wonderful.

One thing about Lit that I find interesting. The primal urge to have a polygamous relationship drives people to stray. On Lit, people can live out those fantasies without damaging their own individual real life relationships.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

 

[Sapphiregem]

Anyway, just my thoughts. [/B]

And those are very good thoughts

Well said

 

[Hornymama]

Very interesting comments here. I know a lot of people in their 40's and 50's that are so self-centered that their only desire is to satisfy their own desires and have no concern for their partner's. For them, sex is a one-sided activity that leads to an orgasm and after that, nothing! So sad!

Sex, to me, goes through three phases. The first is when passion brings two people together and the only driver is the desire to get as close to each other as physically possible. It is a purely physical attraction and this is why people tend to migrate toward their own age and the physical appearances of each other.

The second phase of sex is when two people begin to understand each other's needs and begins to learn how to best fulfill those needs while satisfying their own desires. This requires open communication between both individuals and in a lot of instances, requires the breakdown of taboos that resulted from childhood training. There are many people who never reach this phase of a relationship. It just takes too much effort.

The final phase of sex is when two people can simply look into each other's eyes and the communication takes place. The love, the passion, the desire communicates itself. The act of intercourse simply blends into the whole of the relationship and words, spoken or unspoken, take on a unique and deep meaning.

When two people reach this third level of a relationship, there is a bond that exists that permits the sexual acts to be something extraordinary and wonderful.

One thing about Lit that I find interesting. The primal urge to have a polygamous relationship drives people to stray. On Lit, people can live out those fantasies without damaging their own individual real life relationships.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

i couldn't agree with you more. it's such a specialt thing between two people when you can just feel what the other is thinking or feeling and to be content sometimes just to hold each other.

i agree with you about Lit...i know i love playing here and i'm a big flirt but it's all harmless....at least that's how i feel....a place where i can come and flirt and such and then turn to my husband to finish things off...

 

[Guest]

I'm usually attracted to older women, though my wife is younger than me by a few years. I find when we go to the swingers club, or on Lit, I tend to gravitate to older women, but I know I'm plenty attracted to girls who are younger. I guess maybe it's not really a preference, but I love women in general I hope that's not a bad thing.

 

[Sapphiregem]

i couldn't agree with you more. it's such a specialt thing between two people when you can just feel what the other is thinking or feeling and to be content sometimes just to hold each other.

i agree with you about Lit...i know i love playing here and i'm a big flirt but it's all harmless....at least that's how i feel....a place where i can come and flirt and such and then turn to my husband to finish things off...

You are so right as thats what I do just come and play.

I will say I have talked to a few that were very nice, as you say I finish off elsewhere

 

[Sapphiregem]

I'm usually attracted to older women, though my wife is younger than me by a few years. I find when we go to the swingers club, or on Lit, I tend to gravitate to older women, but I know I'm plenty attracted to girls who are younger. I guess maybe it's not really a preference, but I love women in general I hope that's not a bad thing.

Well there is nothing wrong with that. I am starting to see myself always looking for older men? But I guess it is not looking for them for sex, but more as someone caring and almost like a Father figure. I lost both of my parents when I was very young? So maybe that is what is ?

 

[Hornymama]

Well there is nothing wrong with that. I am starting to see myself always looking for older men? But I guess it is not looking for them for sex, but more as someone caring and almost like a Father figure. I lost both of my parents when I was very young? So maybe that is what is ?

could very well be...i know my husband met and talked to a very sweet lady on here...well actually we both talked to her...she was quite a bit younger and i think she seen us both maybe as "parents" maybe but it was a very nice relationship and we all enjoyed each other's company a lot.

i do know i am definately not interested in the pm's or messages i guess from some that are looking for a mother/son relationship... our son is 22 and that would just feel so strange.....no thank you...lol

 

[Hornymama]

That's the main reason I'm against casual sex. Granted people can do whatever the hell they want, I can't change the way they think, but personally, I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone if there wasn't going to be talk before, during, and after the intimacy. Wait, I take that back. I don't consider "sex for just sex" to be intimate, because of the lack of communication. Talking is one of the most intimate things a person can do, to me at least. I wouldn't want to share myself with someone who wouldn't share themselves with me verbally as well as physically, or wouldn't speak with me again after we has been physical. (I've heard too many stories of friendships ending because of casual sex between one another.)

you're a very smart girl...sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and aren't letting your hormones take over...

i know our daughter is 19 and she says she'll never have a relationship with any of her guy friends. their friendship is too inportant to screw up she says...

 

[Sapphiregem]

could very well be...i know my husband met and talked to a very sweet lady on here...well actually we both talked to her...she was quite a bit younger and i think she seen us both maybe as "parents" maybe but it was a very nice relationship and we all enjoyed each other's company a lot.

i do know i am definately not interested in the pm's or messages i guess from some that are looking for a mother/son relationship... our son is 22 and that would just feel so strange.....no thank you...lol

Right I am not into the PM's too. Yes I know the feeling for my oldest son is 23......I guess you can call me the old fashion type.
Have a great day I am off to do housework. OMG I have been playing too much today

 

[Hornymama]

Right I am not into the PM's too. Yes I know the feeling for my oldest son is 23......I guess you can call me the old fashion type.
Have a great day I am off to do housework. OMG I have been playing too much today

lol you and me both....have a great day and it was very nice meeting you

 

[Arden]

Very interesting comments here. I know a lot of people in their 40's and 50's that are so self-centered that their only desire is to satisfy their own desires and have no concern for their partner's. For them, sex is a one-sided activity that leads to an orgasm and after that, nothing! So sad!

Sex, to me, goes through three phases. The first is when passion brings two people together and the only driver is the desire to get as close to each other as physically possible. It is a purely physical attraction and this is why people tend to migrate toward their own age and the physical appearances of each other.

The second phase of sex is when two people begin to understand each other's needs and begins to learn how to best fulfill those needs while satisfying their own desires. This requires open communication between both individuals and in a lot of instances, requires the breakdown of taboos that resulted from childhood training. There are many people who never reach this phase of a relationship. It just takes too much effort.

The final phase of sex is when two people can simply look into each other's eyes and the communication takes place. The love, the passion, the desire communicates itself. The act of intercourse simply blends into the whole of the relationship and words, spoken or unspoken, take on a unique and deep meaning.

When two people reach this third level of a relationship, there is a bond that exists that permits the sexual acts to be something extraordinary and wonderful.

One thing about Lit that I find interesting. The primal urge to have a polygamous relationship drives people to stray. On Lit, people can live out those fantasies without damaging their own individual real life relationships.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

I was once married to one of those self-centered, selfish partners. It grew old quickly, but I accepted it. The marriage ended for other reasons, but I'll never forget how empty that kind of partner makes you feel. I'd never go there again.

I chuckled when you stated that a primal urge to be polygamous leads people astray, though. If the basis of a predisposed 'natural urge' is procreation and species survival, then why not have sex with your own partner? I don't think any animal would go out looking for another animal to fuck when there's already one close at hand. (I'm staying out of the area of sexual dysfunction on purpose, we're talking natural urges here lol)

While many play with the consent of their spouse or partner, solo or together, (which is fine with me if it works for them) there are just as many that do whatever they damn well please and use the "natural urge" line to justify their own selfish and destructive behavior.

There are also those that are fiercely loyal to their partner or spouse, and the thought of having sex outside of that relationship is never a consideration.

The final phase of sex is when two people can simply look into each other's eyes and the communication takes place. The love, the passion, the desire communicates itself. The act of intercourse simply blends into the whole of the relationship and words, spoken or unspoken, take on a unique and deep meaning.

When two people reach this third level of a relationship, there is a bond that exists that permits the sexual acts to be something extraordinary and wonderful.

It's a long journey there, and many give up before reaching that place for various reasons. I think those that are lucky enough to reach that level would be less likely to feel the need to stray or take on play partners... but I could be wrong.

*Ducks*


What was this thread about? Oh yeah... I'll take older and wiser. But it's really the mind that attracts me more than anything... emotional maturity and the ability to give and receive love can't be measured in years.

 

[tn_8tiv]

I was once married to one of those self-centered, selfish partners. It grew old quickly, but I accepted it. The marriage ended for other reasons, but I'll never forget how empty that kind of partner makes you feel. I'd never go there again.

I chuckled when you stated that a primal urge to be polygamous leads people astray, though. If the basis of a predisposed 'natural urge' is procreation and species survival, then why not have sex with your own partner? I don't think any animal would go out looking for another animal to fuck when there's already one close at hand. (I'm staying out of the area of sexual dysfunction on purpose, we're talking natural urges here lol)

While many play with the consent of their spouse or partner, solo or together, (which is fine with me if it works for them) there are just as many that do whatever they damn well please and use the "natural urge" line to justify their own selfish and destructive behavior.

There are also those that are fiercely loyal to their partner or spouse, and the thought of having sex outside of that relationship is never a consideration.

The final phase of sex is when two people can simply look into each other's eyes and the communication takes place. The love, the passion, the desire communicates itself. The act of intercourse simply blends into the whole of the relationship and words, spoken or unspoken, take on a unique and deep meaning.

When two people reach this third level of a relationship, there is a bond that exists that permits the sexual acts to be something extraordinary and wonderful.

It's a long journey there, and many give up before reaching that place for various reasons. I think those that are lucky enough to reach that level would be less likely to feel the need to stray or take on play partners... but I could be wrong.

*Ducks*


What was this thread about? Oh yeah... I'll take older and wiser. But it's really the mind that attracts me more than anything... emotional maturity and the ability to give and receive love can't be measured in years.

Don't duck Arden. You have some excellent points to contribute.

Thanks

 

[College_geek]

Don't duck Arden. You have some excellent points to contribute.

Thanks

I agree, you have some very excellent points. It's nice to hear from people who have experienced stuff like that first hand.

 

[Darksaint]

Wow, this thread took off overnight! First of all I want to thank you all for your wonderful posts!
I'm agree with everyone that there is more to a relationship than just sex - it needs communication and honesty. I'm an old fashioned guy myself(holding doors, getting flowers for no reason, etc) and believe in talking to your mate/spouse/partner to make sure they are included in on the relationship. I've been in some one sided relationships, where I've been the one wanting to get something going long term - but sometimes people just aren't ready when you are.
Always keeping each other in mind is very good advice. Even if your going to be a little late home - it's nice to get a phone call to hear.
Age doesn't matter in my mind, I'm not deciding to like or dislike someone just becuase they are older or younger. Like I said on page one - I woud love to just meet someone who can be herself in any situation and return the love I'd have for her. =)

 

[badmatt]

I said older but honestly lately I've been turned on by damn near every guy that walks by me.

chrys...I have the same problem!!!!! but with women

 

[chrys]

Seven months without sex does bad things to the mind.

 

[badmatt]

Seven months without sex does bad things to the mind.

is that what did it to you?
for me I think it was birth.

 

[chrys]

Well maybe it's a little of that too, or it could just be that I'm a pervert lol.

 

[replicant]

I didn't vote since it didn't have my option like zerg pointed out.
I like women ranging from 18-80. Any younger or older and it just feels weird.

 

[tendril]

I agree with Arden - I have always been attracted to the older and wiser combination.

 

[tn_8tiv]

Seven months without sex does bad things to the mind.

Not to mention what it does to your libido.

 

[whspr]

I've been attracted to older and younger men....I can find some good points with both ends of the spectrum....

whspr