On Writing: Immersion

[XerXesXu]

Newspapers, reading level is not target audience, and check your math if you are going to do incredulous at me.

???????
I've not heard of a '5th Grade' (Elementary School) rule before, only an '8th Grade' (Middle School) rule. I'd be interested to hear where the '5th Grade' rule comes from and its purpose.

 

[AG31]

These are all things being done in service of improving the story for someone who's reading the story.

This was a great list of things to check for when you're trying to make your narration as good as it can be. But I disagree that it's "for someone who's reading the story." I take pleasure in recording my fantasies as perfectly as possible. For myself. I'm happy when I bump into a reader who happens to share my tastes. They're few and far between. But I didn't perfect my story for the sake of attracting them. They'll be attracted for the content, with the style as icing on the cake.

 

[AG31]

When I read, I don't hear the words, I see the shape of them, the beats of the tall letters, the short and the low hanging, are they pleasing to the eye? I look for that, I look for a nice rolling flow that will keep me going.

Fascinating! The variety of kinds of human thinking is mind boggling!

 

[AG31]

I am interested in seeing whether others found my story interesting. However, I don't write for them, I write for myself.

Hear, hear!!!

 

[liliput1]

???????
I've not heard of a '5th Grade' (Elementary School) rule before, only an '8th Grade' (Middle School) rule. I'd be interested to hear where the '5th Grade' rule comes from and its purpose.

Alright, so I don’t know where I got 5th grade lodged in my head. Turns out newspapers don’t have a fixed reading level, that it varies by institution (7-11), but 8th is close enough for horseshoes. I hit post college on the aptitude tests in 4th grade so wtf do I know about reading levels. I think I was still binging Charles Schultz’s back catalog at that age. The one where Linus bumped his head had me in tears and stitches.

5th graders are 11 years old if not older. Not 8. Eight to eleven is a ton of reading and emotional growth. And the way you said targeting eight graders implied the emotional level not the reading aptitude. 8th graders are little monsters. We aren’t targeting them emotionally or psychologically, that would make the whole world (more) awful, we are targeting adults, who maybe don’t read that well, but whose money spends just fine.

 

[StillStunned]

Here's an example of plinkage from a story I submitted yesterday. Can you spot it?

She turned to see a knight in shiny armour come charging along the track towards the bridge.

"Shiny" is a deliberate choice, instead of "shining". The reader is supposed to stop and take another look, and hopefully suspect that this knight isn't quite what he seems.

 

[liliput1]

Here's an example of plinkage from a story I submitted yesterday. Can you spot it?

She turned to see a knight in shiny armour come charging along the track towards the bridge.

"Shiny" is a deliberate choice, instead of "shining". The reader is supposed to stop and take another look, and hopefully suspect that this knight isn't quite what he seems.

Knight in Shining Armor has a very particular meaning.

I don't know what comes before this in the story but I would wonder about her opinion of chivalry in general. Because 'shiny' sounds dismissive here, and thus could be as much about her as about him. "Oh here's another one." Could still end up where you wanted, if she's been disappointed by knights before and is expecting to be again. This isn't Camelot after all.

 

[Britva415]

Here's an example of plinkage from a story I submitted yesterday. Can you spot it?

She turned to see a knight in shiny armour come charging along the track towards the bridge.

"Shiny" is a deliberate choice, instead of "shining". The reader is supposed to stop and take another look, and hopefully suspect that this knight isn't quite what he seems.

Oh. Was going to guess “armoUr”

 

[anthrodisiac]

Real sneaky bit of plinkage/immersion. Names.

Especially for fantasy and sci-fi names you're making it, it's good to make sure it's something the reader is able to easily pronounce and/or understand, and when that isn't the case, giving that character a nickname instead. Why? Because a reader who can't figure out how to pronounce or remember the name of is harder to connect to than a name they can easily store and ascribe meaning and value to. If it's just a messed-up jumble, it's not as easy to feel a sense of connection. Plus, plenty of opportunity for confusion and mixing characters up if their names are all freakish mismashes, and especially if they're similar. (Although I've definitely done this, but for satiric purposes, and not for anything long.)

Xmamoeniqrlnixdrjkil looked around the empty bar. She couldn't place any of the newbies, but the regs, oh, she knew the regs like the back of her sqpldinrjke.

Now imagine a whole story like that. Yeah, exactly. Making the reader do a ton of extra work, try to remember if Xmamoeniqrlnixdrjkil is different from Xnqrldryksmaneon and if a sqpldinrjke is similar to a spqdkikaen.

Also, if every time you come across that name, you have two choices: try to actually figure out how to pronounce it, and spend time studying and sounding it out, or you just give up and gloss over it. First one is an unnecessary stoppage, second one is much worse, they've given up and now the character is just "incomprehensible name" in their head, and it's harder to vibe with a character you mentally call "incomprehensible name" than one you can put an actual name to.

 

[StillStunned]

Also, if every time you come across that name, you have two choices: try to actually figure out how to pronounce it, and spend time studying and sounding it out, or you just give up and gloss over it. First one is an unnecessary stoppage, second one is much worse, they've given up and now the character is just "incomprehensible name" in their head, and it's harder to vibe with a character you mentally call "incomprehensible name" than one you can put an actual name to.

It's like our writing brains were separated at birth.

 

[anthrodisiac]

It's like our writing brains were separated at birth.

And they found each other again!

 

[caullywally]

Knight in Shining Armor has a very particular meaning.

I don't know what comes before this in the story but I would wonder about her opinion of chivalry in general. Because 'shiny' sounds dismissive here, and thus could be as much about her as about him. "Oh here's another one." Could still end up where you wanted, if she's been disappointed by knights before and is expecting to be again. This isn't Camelot after all.

Camelot... was nothing... research Bannockburn

 

[NuclearFairy]

Here's an example of plinkage from a story I submitted yesterday. Can you spot it?

She turned to see a knight in shiny armour come charging along the track towards the bridge.

"Shiny" is a deliberate choice, instead of "shining". The reader is supposed to stop and take another look, and hopefully suspect that this knight isn't quite what he seems.

I first read that as "tiny armor" and so now I have a knight running around in a metallic mankini in my head.

 

[liliput1]

Oh. Was going to guess “armoUr”

I confess that my dropping of the U was a very deliberate choice in my followup.

Real sneaky bit of plinkage/immersion. Names.

Especially for fantasy and sci-fi names you're making it, it's good to make sure it's something the reader is able to easily pronounce and/or understand, and when that isn't the case, giving that character a nickname instead. Why? Because a reader who can't figure out how to pronounce or remember the name of is harder to connect to than a name they can easily store and ascribe meaning and value to. If it's just a messed-up jumble, it's not as easy to feel a sense of connection. Plus, plenty of opportunity for confusion and mixing characters up if their names are all freakish mismashes, and especially if they're similar. (Although I've definitely done this, but for satiric purposes, and not for anything long.)

Xmamoeniqrlnixdrjkil looked around the empty bar. She couldn't place any of the newbies, but the regs, oh, she knew the regs like the back of her sqpldinrjke.

Now imagine a whole story like that. Yeah, exactly. Making the reader do a ton of extra work, try to remember if Xmamoeniqrlnixdrjkil is different from Xnqrldryksmaneon

That's gonna be 'mamo' or 'zmamo' in my head.

and if a sqpldinrjke is similar to a spqdkikaen.

But this part would be a 'go fuck yourself, I'm out'. Long words with different prefixes you can sometimes get away with but different suffixes are going to infuriate.

Also, if every time you come across that name, you have two choices: try to actually figure out how to pronounce it, and spend time studying and sounding it out, or you just give up and gloss over it. First one is an unnecessary stoppage, second one is much worse, they've given up and now the character is just "incomprehensible name" in their head, and it's harder to vibe with a character you mentally call "incomprehensible name" than one you can put an actual name to.

See also: "Ebon"

Herger the Joyous is my spirit animal

 

[anthrodisiac]

I first read that as "tiny armor" and so now I have a knight running around in a metallic mankini in my head.

Chainmail banana hammock!

 

[caullywally]

Chainmail banana hammock!

Life of Brian... go check .. you will absolutely piss yourself laughing... promise

 

[anthrodisiac]

I confess that my dropping of the U was a very deliberate choice in my followup.

That's gonna be 'mamo' or 'zmamo' in my head.


But this part would be a 'go fuck yourself, I'm out'. Long words with different prefixes you can sometimes get away with but different suffixes are going to infuriate.



See also: "Ebon"

It's tropey, but aliens/fantasy creatures with stupid long names that are basically incomprehensible say them, the people just sort of look at them, then go, "So, Bob?" You wouldn't want to do a serious piece with crazy long names, but for more comedic tone, those long names and crazy words can give you fun interactions where a person just looks at them funny, then comes up with a shortened version.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Life of Brian... go check .. you will absolutely piss yourself laughing... promise

It's in my queue of movies to watch, which only ever seems to grow, never shrink But I will make sure to bring some adult bird diapers and wet wipes for afterward, thanks for the tip!

 

[liliput1]

It's tropey, but aliens/fantasy creatures with stupid long names that are basically incomprehensible say them, the people just sort of look at them, then go, "So, Bob?" You wouldn't want to do a serious piece with crazy long names, but for more comedic tone, those long names and crazy words can give you fun interactions where a person just looks at them funny, then comes up with a shortened version.

"Ebon" in The 13 Warrior and Leeloo Dallas (MULTIPASS) in The 5th Element for two. I'm not sure the similarity in the naming convention is anything but a coincidence.

 

[caullywally]

It's in my queue of movies to watch, which only ever seems to grow, never shrink But I will make sure to bring some adult bird diapers and wet wipes for afterward, thanks for the tip!

Welcome. Just watch by self ... you will be in awe of the comedy.... its fuckin brilliant

 

[AG31]

Here's an example of plinkage from a story I submitted yesterday. Can you spot it?

She turned to see a knight in shiny armour come charging along the track towards the bridge.

"Shiny" is a deliberate choice, instead of "shining". The reader is supposed to stop and take another look, and hopefully suspect that this knight isn't quite what he seems.

Yup, I caught it. For the right reasons.

 

[liliput1]

Welcome. Just watch by self ... you will be in awe of the comedy.... its fuckin brilliant

When you're chewin' on life's gristle,
don't grumble! Give a whistle!
And this'll
make things turn out for the best
and