Opposites attract. . . or do they?

[silverwhisper]

sure, opposites may attract, but similarities are the ties that bind, IMHO.

my wife & i are very similar WRT our views and positions on things. sure, there are differences, but in our case, those differences are generally pretty minor: on the important things, we're on the same page. but then again, i believe i've found my soulmate. :>

[/sappy]

ed

 

[Stefani]

sure, opposites may attract, but similarities are the ties that bind, IMHO.

ed

Totally agree. I've lived with some men that were from cultures completely different from my own, and ultimately we ended up going our separate ways.

Having common ground really seems to help. Otherwise you're each doing your own thing, and if you're doing everything alone, why even bother being a couple?

Currently I'm involved with a woman that I share a lot in common with. We both enjoy reading, writing, poetry, biking, swimming, socializing, the same bands... It's great because I don't have to do all of these things alone, I have a built-in buddy. We even read the same books, and then discuss them as we're reading them.

We started out as friends first, before we were ever lovers. We knew each other for years, always got along great, and things just progressed to the point where recently we started sleeping together. All of which is unusual for me. Typically I jump into bed first, and realize later that we have nothing in common, and then go through an agonizing breakup.

We share so much in common, i feel like we connect on every level, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, even political... which makes her feel like a true soul mate. Can't say that I ever felt this way with someone I had nothing in common with.

Steffie

 

[silverwhisper]

stef: it's always good to hear that people have a similar experience. :>

ed

 

[Quoll]

• Quoll
• Introvert
• Voracious reader
• Not so cuddly
• Not outwardly emotional
• Do most of my thinking within
• Sexually outgoing
• Hates shopping

• Poss
• Extrovert
• Not so
• Very
• Very
• Does most of her thinking verbally (Grrr how can I be in denial when she keeps talking about it. )
• Sexually not so confident
• Loves shopping

Of course over the years these things change and swap around, at the moment I am very emotional and cuddly, almost smothering at times, which is a little hard for her to cope with after years of being the opposite.
One thing we do have in comon is communication, we try never to let problems build and fester, rarely go to bed angry, and ALWAYS kiss goodnight or goodbye.
We support each other on disciplining the kids and if we disagree we discuss it out of earshot.
Oh yeah one other thing we have in common, we have both always been able to see ourselves grow old together.

 

[Eilan]

Wow--I'd almost forgotten about this thread! Silly me.

I know that I mentioned earlier that my husband and I do have some differences, though we're alike in a lot of ways, and I think the similarities outweigh the differences. However, after hearing an eHarmony ad on the radio the other day, I was joking to my husband that I don't think we would've been matched up there.

I wasn't even thinking about this at the time that I started this thread, but my husband is 16 years older than I am. Perhaps the age difference is a big deal for some people/couples, but I don't think it's bothered us too much, particularly since I was 27 and he was 43 when we met--I was hardly an impressionable kid. It's kind of amusing, however, to think that my husband started the job that he'll be retiring from this summer the same year I started kindergarten! AND to think that he has toddlers, when most of his colleagues who are retiring have grown children--and, in some cases, grandchildren!

 

[Undomiel]

What's the point of saying something as far fetched as "if you don't stop screaming I'm leaving you here", which I heard in the grocery shop just this morning. Make it something you can actually do, and something that you implement regularly so your child knows you're serious.

When I was little and me and Mum went shopping, I'd start screaming for sweets at the counter. My Mum threatened to leave me and she did, lol. She'd just walk off on me because she knew I'd shut up pretty quickly and follow her! Nowadays my Mum is one of my best friends.

 

[SweetErika]

Wow--I'd almost forgotten about this thread! Silly me.

I know that I mentioned earlier that my husband and I do have some differences, though we're alike in a lot of ways, and I think the similarities outweigh the differences. However, after hearing an eHarmony ad on the radio the other day, I was joking to my husband that I don't think we would've been matched up there.

I wasn't even thinking about this at the time that I started this thread, but my husband is 16 years older than I am. Perhaps the age difference is a big deal for some people/couples, but I don't think it's bothered us too much, particularly since I was 27 and he was 43 when we met--I was hardly an impressionable kid. It's kind of amusing, however, to think that my husband started the job that he'll be retiring from this summer the same year I started kindergarten! AND to think that he has toddlers, when most of his colleagues who are retiring have grown children--and, in some cases, grandchildren!

Thought I'd give this thread a little bump for fresh ideas and further discussion.

Age differences are interesting to me. My husband and I are close, but most of my partners and friends have been at least five years older. I don't really know why, but we seem to have more in common.

Has an age difference been difficult for anyone?

 

[Eilan]

Age differences are interesting to me. My husband and I are close, but most of my partners and friends have been at least five years older. I don't really know why, but we seem to have more in common.

Has an age difference been difficult for anyone?

Since I happen to be here, I'll participate in the bumping of my thread.

Although I wasn't even two years old when he graduated from high school, I wouldn't say that the age difference between my hubby and me has been problematic. He was married twice before. His first marriage was to his high-school sweetheart, who's a little over a year older than he is, and they were married for about 15 years. He was married to wife #2 for about six years; she's 13 years younger than he is. We often joke that we HAVE to stay married, or he'll get arrested when he goes looking for his next wife.

For what it's worth, my ex and I are the same age.

I can, however, see age-difference problems being an issue in certain relationships. For example, my brother just turned 29. His fiancée will be 19 in July; she just graduated from high school last week, and she's planning to start college in the fall. They've been together for a couple of years and have lived together most of that time, mostly because--to be honest--her mom's just as happy NOT to have her kids around, particularly when SHE has a boyfriend. I think, knowing my brother the way I do, he deliberately targets younger girls because he thinks he can "control" them. But that's another thread for another time.

My best friend is my age (a few months older, actually), but interestingly enough, some of my other friends are old enough to be my parents. I'm not sure why that is. Perhaps I'm no longer "young at heart"?

 

[Seduce]

When one is in romantic relationship with someone one has to make compromises and without respect and love it would be poor relationship.

If one is mature enough to realise others can have different views, and can respect their opinions, it it goes well however opposite you may be.

Although, I like to have a partner I could understand completely..... sort of he starts a sentence and I can finish it cos I know exactly what he means.
I could never live with someone I dont understand very deeply and vice versa.

Opposites may attract me but not for long terms relationships.

I differed with my ex in many ways, but our opinions on raising children, on politics, and life in general were almost indentical.
The thing that drove us apart after 17 years was that we differed in sex too much....... if we could only be friends and not lovers it would be much better.

 

[Norseman0124]

When one is in romantic relationship with someone one has to make compromises and without respect and love it would be poor relationship.

If one is mature enough to realise others can have different views, and can respect their opinions, it it goes well however opposite you may be.

Although, I like to have a partner I could understand completely..... sort of he starts a sentence and I can finish it cos I know exactly what he means.
I could never live with someone I dont understand very deeply and vice versa.

Opposites may attract me but not for long terms relationships.

I differed with my ex in many ways, but our opinions on raising children, on politics, and life in general were almost indentical.
The thing that drove us apart after 17 years was that we differed in sex too much....... if we could only be friends and not lovers it would be much better.

I totally agreed. Compromise for the sake of compromise just wont work. It is bound by the respect and love that each has for one another where compromises are achieved.

 

[Little Bird]

Age differences are interesting to me. My husband and I are close, but most of my partners and friends have been at least five years older. I don't really know why, but we seem to have more in common.

There were three "potential" partners in my life. The first was 24 when I was 21, the second could have been even older and now I'm 21 and she's 17 (it's a simple fact, I think it can write it here). If 5 years are 25% of your live, that can be a huge difference.
I think every time it was something about taking care of someone from the one side and being tutored from the other side.
As much as I enjoyed having my wise girl and my strong man, I enjoy it now equally to show and teach someone the mysteries and joys of passion (even though I'm virgin, and she's not ).

Though they all where and still are very dear to me and I really liked them and was strongly attracted to them, I now think that none of them could have been a partner for a lasting relationship. Opposites attract, and that is undenyable true, but I think the verymost important thing for a strong and lasting relationship is "similarity" (you know which word I mean ).

My first love was quite tearfull for me. I thought she didn't want a relationship because she feared for our friendship but after six months I finaly understood that she knew that we could be really close and loved each other as strong as two friends could, but also that it would not have lasted.
She was 4 years older and had most probalby 8 years more of experiance than me, she LOVED cars and I'm happy that I gat them started, she likes to go to paries at 3:00 AM when I want nothing more than get to sleep, she's sometimes drunk and I'm never, she smokes and it hurts me to see it and in fact she was an adult woman and I was a child! It would have been fun for a month or two but I don't even want to think about what would than have been with me...
I really would like to thank her for it, now that I understand this but unfortunately we lost contact.
The next time was different and I nearly made even greater mistakes but I learned many things from it.
Now Im learning many things again, even if it's from someone much yunger than me.
I thought I was ready for a girlyfriend when I was 15 and there where several moments in the last six years when I though NOW is the time I'm really ready, but now I'm very happy this young boy did never get it's hands on any girl...

 

[ozbloke1980]

Opposites can attract yes but they can also be a deadly combination.