Paging miss ultramarineblue!

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm not to great at picking out who has good or bad intentions. I'm not always mild and meek but right now I don't really have the energy to be anything but struggling to keep up with everything going on. I'm a pretty lucky person but lately several things have happened to make me wonder if I'm on the right path. The hard part about that is that I had recently just accepted that I am what I am and now these things are making me question that.

Regardless of what happens to us, we "am what [we] am." Don't let outside circumstances shove you into not continuing to accept yourself for the person you are.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Regardless of what happens to us, we "am what [we] am." Don't let outside circumstances shove you into not continuing to accept yourself for the person you are.

It still makes me wonder if I'm beating my head against a wall though.

I just don't want to convince myself I'm something I'm not.

 

[StrayKat]

I'm not to great at picking out who has good or bad intentions. I'm not always mild and meek but right now I don't really have the energy to be anything but struggling to keep up with everything going on. I'm a pretty lucky person but lately several things have happened to make me wonder if I'm on the right path. The hard part about that is that I had recently just accepted that I am what I am and now these things are making me question that.

My dear, its not always about being mild and meek. Please dont think that my notion about "gentle women who lack inbuilt defiance" was any kind of looking down on them. I wish there were more such women in the world, they are true source of good, gentle feelings for the rest of us sometimes.
The thing is that you probably dont have those internal walls crawling with warriors ready to fight. I said probably, mind. It is good thing to have defense, but only if you are able to lower the bridge and let the friendly visitor come inside the castle. Personally I was never able to do that, there is no gate in my walls and none can ever come as close as I might like them sometimes. Its kind of hell too you know.

Now I dont know about you but I am always wondering if I am on the right path. I am sometimes even sure I am on the wrong one yet I have to keep walking for whatever reason and can just hope I will find a crossroad and take another path.
I wish I could see all possible options and outcomes in front of me so I can always chose right, but I hardly ever do. And I am always aware that there might have been some better or easier path even if I think I am walking the right one.

You seem to be seriously depressed. Lot of bad feelings and doubts can come out of it. Did you try talking to a therapist maybe?

 

[Nymphomaniacal]

Change the pills lady!
I told you talk about different pills. The one ugh i cant remember the name of it....Lexapro! That one. It generally isnt all that great for longer than six months. It doesnt do much for most of the people ive talked to that have taken it.

And woman if you talk about taking yourself out of anywhere im coming to kick your butt. We care and love you so much missy, none of us want to see you feel like this.

Like i said, Good friends will stick by you no matter what, no matter how you feel. We are here for you.

 

[sb2009]

Is there even just one "right path?" I don't know...sometimes I think of it as a series of turns and switches that we walk down, making the choice at the time that seems to make the most sense. Sure, looking back I can say "damn it, I really shouldn't have done A and done B instead because that was what led me to this fine little mess!" but it's pointless to beat ourselves up for making choices we already made.

Unless someone out there has a time machine. If anyone does, I'd better get a PM telling me the construction details!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I just don't want to convince myself I'm something I'm not.

I think one problem is that when you're down or depressed, you're not viewing the world accurately. Things seem perfectly self-evident (limitations, a bleak future, whatever) that, if you weren't down, you'd recognize as your mind looking into some sort of warped funhouse mirror. Maybe this goes to sb's point about regret and thinking there's only one path.

Who knows what you can be? Feel free to tell me to butt out, ultramarineblue, but maybe a therapist could help you figure out when your mind is fucking with you.

 

[sb2009]

not to keep harping on this..(sorry!) but one thing I have learned from doing some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that just because I *feel* a certain way and my brain is telling me a *certain* thing, it does not make it true. Feelings are not always the best way to judge a situation.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

not to keep harping on this..(sorry!) but one thing I have learned from doing some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that just because I *feel* a certain way and my brain is telling me a *certain* thing, it does not make it true. Feelings are not always the best way to judge a situation.

http://www.bumperstickerz.com/images/1000035-03-03-03-00_lg.png

 

[ultramarineblue]

Thanks everybody for the responses. There is only so much therapy or pills can do. I'm working on it all. I'm going to see about changing the meds next week.

I really want to respond more but I'm so tired right now that I can't do anything with much thought.

 

[sb2009]

just take care and be easy on yourself!!!! and trust me, I know batshit crazy, and you aren't it.

 

[rida]

Just throwing it in as a site that I've found very helpful for reading up about different medications:

www.crazymeds.us






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