Patients, Doctors, and Patience

[Bandit58]

When it comes to medical, we're a joint operation

We both attend each other's doctor's appointments, although Sir draws the line at going to my mammograms and pap smears - I've been handling those myself for years. He made sure I went and got a colonoscopy/CT and MRI plus heart checks to make sure I keep healthy to take care of Him (and because He cares. This is still a wonder to me btw, having lived for so long with someone who couldn't give a crap about me).

When it comes to Sir's dialysis, we are a team. We do it at home (haemo) 3x a week/8 hours a time. That is why I always refer to "we" and "us" when talking about it. Sir's renal specialist gives me the blood forms and prescriptions. He asks questions, and looks at both of us not just Sir. I'm fully involved in His treatment.

That's why it pissed me off so much when, after a colonoscopy Sir had problems with serious bleeding which needed an ambulance and a trip to the ER. I was pushed aside and felt like I was being treated like an idiot. I wasn't panicking or having hysterics, I was perfectly calm and keeping out of the way, but I was told to "sit here and wait". I understand that the staff were just doing their job, but Sir wasn't in any condition to answer questions and I could have been very helpful, if they'd let me.

But once they let me back in, I wasn't going anywhere. It did Sir good to know that I was there, even though He could see how scared I was (I thought I hid it well but He knew!)

 

[kittyn_]

What I find amusing about this thread is that everything involving medical decisions is about the patient looking elsewhere for advice or permission. I remember when I was in labor the nurse pushing like crazy for me to get some variety of pain meds and I continued to refuse. About two hours after they started with the drip for my induction, she started trying to get my hubby to talk me into accepting them. His response? "If it's bad enough she wants pain medications, she'll let someone know. I already told her it was completely her decision." We got a funny look, but she stopped popping in every 30 seconds to see if I'd changed my mind yet.

Just thought it was funny that my experience was so contrary to the other statements that have come up, particularly Soumis' objection to women referring to their males on meds and treatment.

 

[Soumis]

What I find amusing about this thread is that everything involving medical decisions is about the patient looking elsewhere for advice or permission. I remember when I was in labor the nurse pushing like crazy for me to get some variety of pain meds and I continued to refuse. About two hours after they started with the drip for my induction, she started trying to get my hubby to talk me into accepting them. His response? "If it's bad enough she wants pain medications, she'll let someone know. I already told her it was completely her decision." We got a funny look, but she stopped popping in every 30 seconds to see if I'd changed my mind yet.

Just thought it was funny that my experience was so contrary to the other statements that have come up, particularly Soumis' objection to women referring to their males on meds and treatment.

Sorry to hear you were pestered. I'm not one of those people that thinks everyone needs pain meds to deliver; what I do think is that it should be the patient's decision whether she has pain meds or not. And that the patient should be thoroughly educated on pain control options. There are a lot of misconceptions out there regarding pain meds and labor. The option for pain control should also be available regardless of income. There was a time when my hospital didn't give anyone without insurance epidurals. Eventually this was judged unethical.

At one point a study revealed that 80% of the patient population delivering at work was illegal immigrants. I can go days without having an English speaking patient. Months without having one who has private insurance. I've had patients have to read their ID bracelets to write their names. Most of them don't bother signing their name, they sign an 'x'. I think that it's important these woman have someone who is going to tell them all of their options and provide them with pain relief if they so choose.

 

[kittyn_]

I'm not disagreeing, just found it to be an amusing difference.

If someone wants or feels the need for meds, then by all means, they should take them, and I don't much see it being anyone else's concern. Yes, I'm all for listening to the opinion of your partner, but it, ultimately, is your body. You know better than anyone else exactly what you're feeling and how much you can take, and what exactly needs to be done. It may be a quirk of my relationship, but I know that said husband is more worried about possible pain to me, at least medically, than I am.

He thought I was insane for opting out of meds, but respected my opinion and agreed.

In your hospital situation, do you think any of your concerns may actually come from language or general communication abilities? Just curious, not trying to diss anyones ability to speak spanish

 

[graceanne]

Anesthesia is a funny business. No denying some people are flat out better at administering it than others.

And most people labor better on their side, and babies tolerate it better on the side, but pillows are generally enough to shift weight.

They wanted me on my side because my blood pressure was lower on my side. I do not understand why, it just was.

 

[Soumis]

I'm not disagreeing, just found it to be an amusing difference.

If someone wants or feels the need for meds, then by all means, they should take them, and I don't much see it being anyone else's concern. Yes, I'm all for listening to the opinion of your partner, but it, ultimately, is your body. You know better than anyone else exactly what you're feeling and how much you can take, and what exactly needs to be done. It may be a quirk of my relationship, but I know that said husband is more worried about possible pain to me, at least medically, than I am.

He thought I was insane for opting out of meds, but respected my opinion and agreed.

In your hospital situation, do you think any of your concerns may actually come from language or general communication abilities? Just curious, not trying to diss anyones ability to speak spanish

I wonder if part of the difference is private vs public in hospitals and doctors. *shrugs* I'm not sure how recently that was for you, but I think we're seeing a pleasant swing toward middle ground concerning pain meds. For the longest time it was epidurals for everyone, now people are reappreciating a more holistic approach. About 40% of the deliveries at work are done by certified nurse midwives who are keen on natural childbirth.

And I'm sure some my difficulties at work arise from my situational Spanish. All of my Spanish I learned on the job. I consider myself proficient most of the time, but if there are any doubts, that's what translators are for. Translators are required for consents; we rightly don't trust unofficial Spanish for them.

 

[Soumis]

They wanted me on my side because my blood pressure was lower on my side. I do not understand why, it just was.

Your blood pressure will always read lower on a limb that is elevated above your heart.