Percentage of women who orgasm

[NippleMuncher]

It is an urban myth that women are capable of orgasm.

<ducks and runs for cover>

 

[littlebabyclit]

..........................................

 

[desertslave]

I don't understand why women who don't orgasm bother to have sex in the first place. They must live miserable lives just going through the motions to make some guy happy.

Not necessarily. I have this from friends, mind you, since I've been orgasmic since I was pretty young. But friends say they still enjoy the closeness, they enjoy the physical sensations even without climax, and they enjoy giving pleasure to their partners.

 

[desertslave]

If you are going to look at sex where A+B=C then why not ask the basic question of: why are we having sex if the objective isn't to reproduce. After all that's the point of sex.

Says who? LOL

 

[EroticApology]

Says who? LOL[/QUO


LOL... The point is we are not animals in the wild where sex is to fulfill natures mission...REPRODUCE!!! LOL.

 

[desertslave]

You must be a whole lot younger than me...that was my point. When I started having sex, back when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth, the guys I was with didn't give a shit if I orgasmed or not. It wasn't until a few years ago that I ever heard a guy going off about how "she always has to cum first," and I wondered where the hell he was when I was in college. It just has never been a priority.

I call a few dinosaurs "kid" and was raised on the cusp between "good girls don't" and the free love generation (or close to it), but I just kind of expected my guys to take care of me or at least help me out. I can't quite say I demanded it, but ...well, there were a few guys who never got a 2nd chance if they were that selfish to begin with.

Oh, and funny...I'm from PA too, but I escaped.

 

[desertslave]

Says who? LOL[/QUO


LOL... The point is we are not animals in the wild where sex is to fulfill natures mission...REPRODUCE!!! LOL.

Nope, we do it cuz it feels gooooood!

 

[EroticApology]

Nope, we do it cuz it feels gooooood!

EXACTLY...sex is about feeling good. For example there are times when I want to be fucked hard...but I know I will not orgasm from being fucked hard. But it feels good. We do what feels good and turns us on...

 

[NippleMuncher]

I personally would take it as a challenge to figure out how to make my partner orgasm, contrary to my earlier post where I was teasing.

I think that a complete inability to orgasm is an anomaly, and has more to do with the mindset of the receiver and the willingness and abilities of the giver to provide the proper stimulation to achieve success.

I am reminded of countless other discussions we've had on this forum about women "training" their men to believe they're doing the right thing when in fact they are not. This also would be appropriate to men not willing to put in the effort and women not willing to open up and train their men to do things right. Are these assumptions the rule, no, but I would bet money that this is more the rule than the exception. Keeping in mind that most of us on this site are sex positive and forward thinkers when it comes to bedroom activities. As for my own sexual histories, this is the norm.

And, for the record, I am a pleaser and do everything I can to make sure she gets her cookie(s ) first, though I may tease now and again to the contrary.

 

[EroticApology]

What I'm curious about is...if a person is unable to orgasm for whatever reason. Does that eventually affect the mans psyche because he is unable to make his partner orgasm.

 

[mike2010fc]

.....

 

[Ellafun]

I call a few dinosaurs "kid" and was raised on the cusp between "good girls don't" and the free love generation (or close to it), but I just kind of expected my guys to take care of me or at least help me out. I can't quite say I demanded it, but ...well, there were a few guys who never got a 2nd chance if they were that selfish to begin with.

lol! Goddamn the 80's. I really should have been part of the whole "love the one you're with" culture.

Well, that's not far off the mark, at least for me personally. I've never orgasmed. Never been able to, still can't figure it out. It has impacted my sexual identity greatly and made me pretty miserable all my adult life.

I've gone through years of having sex with my spouse, going through the motions to keep him happy, even if sex didn't make me happy.

<snip> an endgame where orgasm is the prize.

You and I need to talk. I you more than you can possibly know.

For what it's worth, I have trouble finishing, maybe succeeding 80% of the time, I dunno. But when it's over, I still cuddle and feel love. I only consider it a failure if she doesn't orgasm!

Mike

My husband, also. Don't know if it's an age thing, a "hey, there's teenagers awake in the house" thing, or what...and we don't really care. Intimacy is awesome.

 

[ohjanesays]

What I'm curious about is...if a person is unable to orgasm for whatever reason. Does that eventually affect the mans psyche because he is unable to make his partner orgasm.

I usually can't orgasm if my boyfriend is going down or fingering. For me to have one, it just requires a certain amount of pressure that only I can do with my hands for some reason. So usually we have foreplay and then we switch to the way I can do it and he just helps out in other ways that makes it way more intense than if I just did it alone.

I asked him if it ever bothered him that he couldn't get me off by himself, but he said it didn't bother him. His goal is just for me to feel pleasure and if I can achieve that in other ways, he did his job.

 

[wicked woman]

For what it's worth, I have trouble finishing, maybe succeeding 80% of the time, I dunno. But when it's over, I still cuddle and feel love. I only consider it a failure if she doesn't orgasm!

Mike

And how would you feel if your sexual partner thought she was a failure when you didn't orgasm?

 

[BiTodd]

I don't orgasm sometimes. But it is usually intentional for edging.

 

[wicked woman]

I don't understand all the emphasis on the end goal of an orgasm. Trust me, I've got nothing against orgasms. I quite enjoy them and I know how fortunate I am, and appreciate the fact, that I'm capable of being multi-orgasmic.

But that doesn't mean that the journey is any less important. I love giving and receiving thousands of physical sensations. I love when our connection is so strong it creates an almost unbelievable intimacy. I love when his desire for me is so strong that he takes me, with little regard for my pleasure. I love when he sits back and let's me pleasure him. I could go on and on. To me, saying there's no point to sex without orgasm is negating all of the pleasure that we have from everything except an orgasm and personally I refuse to do it.

 

[_me_]

I have never had sex and not orgasmed. It's like chewing food and spitting it out. Maybe a girl can shed some light. Is it okay to have sex and not orgasm? I mean, that seems blasphemous. My wife has had sex with me and not orgasmed, but simply for the fact that she was just doing it for me. Like a quickie or something. But no chance on earth would she allow that to happen very often. And she shouldn't.

I've had sex & no orgasm.
I need clit stimulation to orgasm & therefore sometimes I just need fucking.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest, maybe I'm strange?

 

[Edensgarden]

I don't understand why women who don't orgasm bother to have sex in the first place. They must live miserable lives just going through the motions to make some guy happy.

If a female has truly never had an orgasm before, by any method, then she physically doesn't really know what she is missing out on. She can only go by how others describe it and the way her partner reacts when having one.

I have to imagine it would be very frustrating for her to try to achieve something that she has never experienced and is not sure what to do exactly to get there. I would also think that could possibly make some women want to continue working on it in the hopes they will succeed. If she doesn't continue to try then she never will experience this pleasure. She also has to have a partner who is willing to try everything to get her there as well. If her partner is not willing to do that for her, that may be part of the issue.

As for the "going through the motions to make some guy happy" statement, I will gladly go through the motions to make my guy happy, regardless if I have an O or not. I may not be in the mood sometimes for sex, but I go through the motions of giving him a blow job just to make him happy. Hell, I give him a blow job just to make ME happy.

I guess my point is there are other reasons people have sex than to orgasm. Your statement was pretty lame in my opinion.

 

[EroticApology]

I usually can't orgasm if my boyfriend is going down or fingering. For me to have one, it just requires a certain amount of pressure that only I can do with my hands for some reason. So usually we have foreplay and then we switch to the way I can do it and he just helps out in other ways that makes it way more intense than if I just did it alone.

I asked him if it ever bothered him that he couldn't get me off by himself, but he said it didn't bother him. His goal is just for me to feel pleasure and if I can achieve that in other ways, he did his job.

So he can't mimic what you do to yourself?

 

[Lord Pmann]

So he can't mimic what you do to yourself?

If its anything like for me, a guy, it's very easy for me to make myself cum. So, let's say with the right stimulation, I could be up and cumming, start to finish in under two minutes. Now, if my wife were to administer a lubed up handjibber, practically the same type of stimulation, it takes MUCH longer. Now, it feels way better when she does it and the orgasm is more intense. But she could never mimic the exact skills I have attained over the last 15 years of masturbatory research. I presume it's similar.

 

[EroticApology]

If its anything like for me, a guy, it's very easy for me to make myself cum. So, let's say with the right stimulation, I could be up and cumming, start to finish in under two minutes. Now, if my wife were to administer a lubed up handjibber, practically the same type of stimulation, it takes MUCH longer. Now, it feels way better when she does it and the orgasm is more intense. But she could never mimic the exact skills I have attained over the last 15 years of masturbatory research. I presume it's similar.

Nevertheless you do orgasm because she's doing what you like...she's not you and will never be. You wife might mimic you in order to get you off...In the case of Ohjanesays...she says she cant. She has to take over to orgasm. I'm sure that's not the case with you and your wife.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Nevertheless you do orgasm because she's doing what you like...she's not you and will never be. You wife might mimic you in order to get you off...In the case of Ohjanesays...she says she cant. She has to take over to orgasm. I'm sure that's not the case with you and your wife.

Sometimes it is. There are times if we've been having sex for a while or changing positions too much that I have to take matters into my own hands so to speak. Not often. But it happens.

 

[EroticApology]

Sometimes it is. There are times if we've been having sex for a while or changing positions too much that I have to take matters into my own hands so to speak. Not often. But it happens.

Well I can understand that. You might have to relax your mind and body again in order to orgasm after all the changing of positions. Or you might be anxious that's why you don't orgasm...any number of things. But I still think your case is way different. I'm wondering if she's just use to her hand making her orgasm. If its someone else then its not going to work for her.

 

[ohjanesays]

Well I can understand that. You might have to relax your mind and body again in order to orgasm after all the changing of positions. Or you might be anxious that's why you don't orgasm...any number of things. But I still think your case is way different. I'm wondering if she's just use to her hand making her orgasm. If its someone else then its not going to work for her.

I am used to my hand and it's an unusual way of doing it. I looked it up once and others have the same problem where only they can only get off with the right position of the legs and hand. He has tried to mimic it a couple times, but it produces varying results and ultimately not as good my own. Like pmann said, I've perfected it on my own as well. But ultimately if he is completely in charge of making me orgasm, then it usually doesn't happen. I have to take over in one way or another.

 

[EroticApology]

I am used to my hand and it's an unusual way of doing it. I looked it up once and others have the same problem where only they can only get off with the right position of the legs and hand. He has tried to mimic it a couple times, but it produces varying results and ultimately not as good my own. Like pmann said, I've perfected it on my own as well. But ultimately if he is completely in charge of making me orgasm, then it usually doesn't happen. I have to take over in one way or another.

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