Personal Rant

[DarkSimian]

I want a like button.

I want an easy button, like at Staples

 

[daddysbaby150]

Having just left a marriage (with no children involved), all I can offer is this.

You can't make anyone happy if you're not happy with you.

Very wise words. It has been within the past year that I have truly experienced this. It can be both liberating and terrifying at the same time. Everyone is different. What is right for one person or situation isn't going to work for another. Follow your instinct and you will all be ok.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

D(.)(.)

Someone mentioned there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. My husband dated me when I was nothing but white trash mistreated and tortured by my own family. Both of our parents and friends said it would never last. We've been married over 57 years and dated two years before that.

Hubby says maybe it won't last, but after four kids, many surgeries, heartbreak, and more our love has pulled us thru. We're often asked to give advice at times. Honestly we don't know how you feel. We've never had those problems.
Just a note to show there is hope and somewhere someone is looking for you.

We do know living together and hating is worse for the kids than divorce.

 

[RyanBooks]

I appreciate all the advice, i truly do.

I was (am) looking to vent. For multiple reasons, divorce isn't an option. It isn't that love has left the building, ... i guess it is kind of hard to explain, or maybe I just don't really want to type it out, because of the conflict (guilt) I feel.

Deep down, I guess what I am wanting is to make a connection with someone who understands and we can commiserate together and provide for each other what we are not getting in RL, and maybe just maybe the online connection will help our RL situation...

maybe that wont work, maybe that is wrong, maybe I am being stupid... at this point, I don't really care and that is the path I am choosing... just looking for someone to walk that path with me.

 

[RyanBooks]

Well, one last rant. Sorry for taking up space here, I realize this will not be great reading. I am not looking for advice, while it is appreciated the advice I need can't really be given over the net without having personal understanding of me, more than I really want to share here. I just want to rant. Thanks...

I generally think of myself as a good person, then again here I am a married man secretly on a porn website that my wife doesn't know about, looking for someone to commiserate with. So, I am a cheating adultrous man... Maybe I am not really that good of person then. Truth be told, I have even upset, frustrated, and hurt a few people here that have connected with. To you, I am sorry. I suck as a person.

I am tired. I am tired of trying, tired of suggesting, tired of explaining what I want/need/desire... I am tired of watching a movie (not porn) a TV show, or even reading things here wanting to be touched, embraced, surprised,... I am tired of wanting intimacy, seduction, spontaneity, infatuation. I am tired of wanting...

So, this is life. I am resolved to it is what it is.

I sit alone in a booth in am empty Burger King, this is a sum of my life. Overweight, alone yet married, a wonderful family, yet a lousy husband, father, man.

I know, I need to change. If only I lost weight, if only I did this or did that. Is it so wrong just to have my wife come beside me and hold me without needing to ask or explain what's wrong. Is it so wrong... Well, it seems like maybe it is.

Well, enough of the pity party for me.

Thanks for listening/reading.

In light of Brussel attacks today, my needs pale in comparison.

 

[RyanBooks]

So, I am deciding to try to make some changes.

I have written enough here to say how tired I am... well, there is one more thing that I am tired of and I have decided that I can do something about it.

I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of putting myself down and taking blame when something happens.

Perhaps I will swing the pendulum to far the other way and really piss people off, I hope not. But I don't want the pendulum to be stuck where it is any longer.

Maybe my real life relation doesn't fully understand or embrace that I am a great guy and for whatever reason doesn't seem to show it... but at least here I can embrace it.

Maybe I am not the greatest looking person, maybe I am overweight, maybe I am not the ideal male specimen. So what...

I am me... and damn it, I am a good me.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

So pissed right now.... Someone broke into my Mom's house. She has been threw so much lately, the passing my step-dad and the aggravation with, and now just recently re-married at 75 years old and he just turned 80...

What get me is the thieves didn't realize I use to work for the local sheriff's office here in town... Boy ain't Karma great! My buds are all over it now...

 

[daddysbaby150]

So, I am deciding to try to make some changes.

I have written enough here to say how tired I am... well, there is one more thing that I am tired of and I have decided that I can do something about it.

I am tired of feeling sorry for myself. I am tired of putting myself down and taking blame when something happens.

Perhaps I will swing the pendulum to far the other way and really piss people off, I hope not. But I don't want the pendulum to be stuck where it is any longer.

Maybe my real life relation doesn't fully understand or embrace that I am a great guy and for whatever reason doesn't seem to show it... but at least here I can embrace it.

Maybe I am not the greatest looking person, maybe I am overweight, maybe I am not the ideal male specimen. So what...

I am me... and damn it, I am a good me.

Hey. You haven't posted in a bit. Hope you are well and most importantly, are still trying to treat yourself better.

 

[suckonsimon]

RyanBooks

If you log on again any time, here's another guy who, reading your posts, can see that you are made of good stuff which goes deep. You feel like having a pm conversation? You could check me out from my profile and posts and see if I might just be some kind of online sounding board for you. I'm around often enough.

Go well.

Simon

 

[SoulAssasin247]

I apologize if this is not the correct place for it, but I really did not see anywhere else it would fit.

There is a part of me that is just tired. I wish I knew how to better communicate it, better explain it. I am just tired. I try, I seek to understand, I seek to change and be different, I seek to give the benefit of doubt... and yet... deep down, I don't think what I desire is all that wrong or unthinkable.

I tired of feeling like the fifth child. I don't need a mother and I don't need to be mothered. I need to be loved, to be seen as a man, as a sexual being. I need to know that I am just as desirable.

I am tired of needing to plan when it will happen.. can't it just happen. Can't I just be taking a shower and out of nowhere a hand reach in.... Can't I just come up behind you, reach around.... can't we just cuddle?

I am tired of being subtly rejected. I am tired of expressing my needs and wishes, for it not to making a lasting difference. I am tired of expressing my needs and wishes, and being the one to have to understand and therefore being the one to change.

Maybe I should just deal... maybe I should just realize that this is how it is...Maybe it is silly of me being here, trying to find that person to connect with... sure, I know I am not going to change my situation, I know that chances are nothing would ever happen in the 'real world'..... but couldn't there be someone that can't wait to PM me and I can't wait to PM them... that brings back those butterfly feelings, those sly, silly, teenage flirtations, but with the knowledge and experience of someone older and more imaginative....

Well... thanks for reading. sorry for the rant. Feel free to ignore....

Sometimes in these especially with the kids sex is bound to slow down. You say you're getting treated like the 5th child maybe you need to help her more. Children are beautiful but their energy and soul suckers lmao in a joking way. Help her with the kids and with home issues. Is your appearance up to par go to the gym dress nice hygeine improve yourself.. Leave her love and nasty little letters from time to time. Ask a friend or either of your parents to take them for a night be assertive and romantic. Run a bubble bath rub her back and you give her the hand job and get her in the mood. If you do all of this and nothing is even remotely improving then I agree with Low maybe it's time for a divorce.

 

[NextDoorSecret]

I apologize if this is not the correct place for it, but I really did not see anywhere else it would fit.

There is a part of me that is just tired. I wish I knew how to better communicate it, better explain it. I am just tired. I try, I seek to understand, I seek to change and be different, I seek to give the benefit of doubt... and yet... deep down, I don't think what I desire is all that wrong or unthinkable.

I tired of feeling like the fifth child. I don't need a mother and I don't need to be mothered. I need to be loved, to be seen as a man, as a sexual being. I need to know that I am just as desirable.

I am tired of needing to plan when it will happen.. can't it just happen. Can't I just be taking a shower and out of nowhere a hand reach in.... Can't I just come up behind you, reach around.... can't we just cuddle?

I am tired of being subtly rejected. I am tired of expressing my needs and wishes, for it not to making a lasting difference. I am tired of expressing my needs and wishes, and being the one to have to understand and therefore being the one to change.

Maybe I should just deal... maybe I should just realize that this is how it is...Maybe it is silly of me being here, trying to find that person to connect with... sure, I know I am not going to change my situation, I know that chances are nothing would ever happen in the 'real world'..... but couldn't there be someone that can't wait to PM me and I can't wait to PM them... that brings back those butterfly feelings, those sly, silly, teenage flirtations, but with the knowledge and experience of someone older and more imaginative....

Well... thanks for reading. sorry for the rant. Feel free to ignore....

I do understand, because I could have written this from the opposite perspective.
I'm sure you've tried and I haven't read all the responses, but have you tried telling her exactly what you wrote here, with no anger, no demands, but just a simple "I miss this. I want this. I miss feeling like you can't wait to touch me"
I don't know if it'll work for you, it did not for me, but at least then you will know you did try everything?

Or if what you are looking for is someone to dally with here, I'm sure the opportunity will present itself sooner or later. Either way, best of luck, I feel you on a near cellular level.
It eats at your soul to be rejected constantly. Here's to a brighter today and tomorrow, whatever that means.