Pillow Talk

[Wild_Honey_66]

Me: I have to get up at 5
Him: So?
Me: it's past midnight
Him: and?
Me: mmmpfff ...sigh

may!

Really!!!! You like it rough then? I haven't washed my dick for a week.

I see. So what i hear you saying is that you have an unnatural aversion to bathing.

And how does that makes you feel?

*makes notes*

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

See if you can guess who said what in the following exchange:

Please put on a condom. I want you to fuck me!
Am I hard enough?
I don't know! You tell me!
*checks* Nope.
*sighs, gives blowie*

In some cases, the humor in a situation becomes more apparent over time.

 

[smtst5]

See if you can guess who said what in the following exchange:

Please put on a condom. I want you to fuck me!
Am I hard enough?
I don't know! You tell me!
*checks* Nope.
*sighs, gives blowie*

In some cases, the humor in a situation becomes more apparent over time.

Honey you have some pervy pillows

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Honey you have some pervy pillows

Like you don't.

 

[smtst5]

Like you don't.

You've been talking to my pillows

 

[numeniusa]

Me: *grasping* Bloody hell, that's huge
Him: Morning holiday high altitude cock... *smug grin*
Me: That's the holy grail really, isn't it?
Him: Hmmm. Morning holiday high altitude cock in a cock ring?
Me: *gulp*

Holiday cock - enormous erections due to relaxation, lack of stress, lots of free time etc
High altitude cock - well, the air pressure is lower up here, stands to reason, no?

 

[suckonsimon]

Context: I've just had that huge delight for a man of pressing in, first time in the session, to a freshly orgasmed pussy -sopping with honey, clenching still underway. [Isn't that fuckingly delicious, guys?] Unsure if she's feeling totally satisfied and a little tender, or up for lots more:

Me: "How d'you want it, babe?"

Her: "Have me. Have me darling."

Green light for me to pound and screw and thrust without a thought to her further pleasuring and purely for my own release and satisfaction.

 

[suckonsimon]

Context: a woman who just cannot decide which of three dresses to wear for work which today includes attendance at a charity presentation lunch. She needs help with zips, silk scarves, on, off, on, off ...

This dressing and undressing my woman, standing behind her as she does a little wiggle in front of a long mirror, helping her to position her bra right, whispering words of compliment into her ear before nibbling it and reminding her of the handsome dudes who'll be there watching her ... so tedious for a guy ...

 

[suckonsimon]

Kitchen talk on a rather cool February Saturday after lunch, the 'pillow talk' plan having been made during smooching this morning:

Me: "I'll put the heat on in the bedroom before I get back into the garden."

Her: "That'll be good, love."

I like it that we can on occasion be so matter of fact about our intention to fuck in a little while. We both love it, we both want it and often, so no need for a careful dance around the issue, other than playfully when the mood for that kind of foreplay takes us.

 

[numeniusa]

Me: I don't think I have the technique right here, do I just pull?
Him: Yes, pull. When you put it back in though you have to sort of pump it with your hand.

Pause.

Smutty grins all round.

A vacuum wine saver device.... That is all....

 

[numeniusa]

Me: Bugger. I didn't pack enough 'every day' bras for the journey home. How did I manage that? I'll have to wear the nice lingerie sets for those three days...

Him: Oh. What a shame.

Pause

Him: I think I can cope....

 

[Little_Sister]

Last night...

Him "I have to get up early" (code for no sex tonight)
Me "Ok" (I was reading on my tablet anyway)
Him "Ok?"
Me "Yeah, it's fine" (distracted. I was reading)
(quiet for a few)
Him "Can we cuddle?" (aka press your ass against me and rub it on my dick until I finally stick it inside)

It was good tho. I should totally work this distracted angle more often.

 

[numeniusa]

Him (to the cat): Hello, little furry contraceptive...
Cat: *looks confused* (this is normal)
Me: I think we're way past all that now...
Him: Alright, little furry cock-blocker, then
Me: But... it's always him that's thrown off, not you...
Cat: *looks aggrieved, but also resigned*

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Wonderful posts! Thank you, all.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

After an extended stay with Beardy...

Me: (texting him at work) I'm going to have to wash the mattress pad. We made a mess.
Him: Okay. *snickers*

Later that day...

Me: (texting again, deeply mortified) It's not coming clean.
Him: *guffaws, chest swelling with pride*

 

[numeniusa]

After an extended stay with Beardy...

Me: (texting him at work) I'm going to have to wash the mattress pad. We made a mess.
Him: Okay. *snickers*

Later that day...

Me: (texting again, deeply mortified) It's not coming clean.
Him: *guffaws, chest swelling with pride*

Is the mattress pad his or yours?

 

[johnmatrix0143]

Last night...

Him "I have to get up early" (code for no sex tonight)
Me "Ok" (I was reading on my tablet anyway)
Him "Ok?"
Me "Yeah, it's fine" (distracted. I was reading)
(quiet for a few)
Him "Can we cuddle?" (aka press your ass against me and rub it on my dick until I finally stick it inside)

It was good tho. I should totally work this distracted angle more often.

Very nice Tumblr page!!!!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Is the mattress pad his or yours?

His.

It may have been the sexy new panties he bought me wot done it.

 

[suckonsimon]

Here's a bit of a different one:

"Love, you must remind me not to go out in my dressing gown when the bees are flying."

I could go further with her comments about them doing their spring poo on her washing but I'll leave you to imagine how that might have gone.

 

[numeniusa]

Here's a bit of a different one:

"Love, you must remind me not to go out in my dressing gown when the bees are flying."

I could go further with her comments about them doing their spring poo on her washing but I'll leave you to imagine how that might have gone.

Did you get stung? Where did you get stung? Do you need someone to, er, kiss it better?

 

[suckonsimon]

Did you get stung? Where did you get stung? Do you need someone to, er, kiss it better?

This was her, Numi, out in her dressing gown hanging out washing!
No, she was not stung, but anxious about a couple flying around her hem as, if they had gone underneath,they might have got distressed.

I once had one get under the elasticated hem of my beekeeping smock. First I knew about it was when it was wandering about on my neck tickling me very nicely actually. As I had an open hive I had to continue with my work regardless. After a while it crawled down the front of my shirt onto my chest and I knew it would get distressed there with the confinement and the hairs, however calm I stayed. When I'm stung, feel I have let a bee down, as of course it loses its life once it has once used its sting.

 

[Hornblende]

This was her, Numi, out in her dressing gown hanging out washing!
No, she was not stung, but anxious about a couple flying around her hem as, if they had gone underneath,they might have got distressed.

I once had one get under the elasticated hem of my beekeeping smock. First I knew about it was when it was wandering about on my neck tickling me very nicely actually. As I had an open hive I had to continue with my work regardless. After a while it crawled down the front of my shirt onto my chest and I knew it would get distressed there with the confinement and the hairs, however calm I stayed. When I'm stung, feel I have let a bee down, as of course it loses its life once it has once used its sting.

You're a gentle soul as well as a gentleman, Si...

 

[numeniusa]

Although I am not fond of wasps, I have never felt threatened by a bee, they are such lovely creatures, so gentle, and their community is something to behold. I absolutely hate to see honey wasted, especially having been gifted honey by bee-keeping acquaintances...

Last summer in France we had a constant bee-patrol around the lavender-surrounded pool. I can't tell you how many we as a group rescued from the water, but none of us could bear to see them suffer...

Which reminds me - must post my tale of other, er, poolside activities...

 

[ChainedUp]

"I'll massage your scalp, sometimes I do get over-zealous with the hair pulling"

 

[suckonsimon]

Once back in bed, really late, after an unexpected last thing furious lay:

She: How did that happen?
He: You started it!
She: What do you mean?
He: Luscious lips
She: Well I'm not kissing you again then.