Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

It has been found out that the worlds first successfully cloned human, known as Model DeckardNYC, has actually been cloned twenty times over. If you spot one near a post, call 9-1-1 immediately.

Tried to mug an old lady and got beaten.
 
Man shoots elephant in his pajamas. How the elephant got in his pajamas, no one will ever know.
 
Woman found in Caspian Sea two weeks after plane crash. She credits her survival on her floatation devices. More after the break.
 
He posted provocative pictures of shoes on church websites and they gathered en masse in the streets to pray for his demented soul, causing traffic bottlenecks and mayhem throughout the city.
 
He posted provocative pictures of shoes on church websites and they gathered en masse in the streets to pray for his demented soul, causing traffic bottlenecks and mayhem throughout the city.

He was explaining once and for all why he crossed the road.
 
This just in: Sources indicate that--Wait! This guy again? Really? He's become quite the attention whore, hasn't he? Okay, no more news spots concerning him unless it involved something truly obscene. What? He did? This just in: Man breaks into local animal shelter and sacrifices all animals held within to Zarkon the Space God with the hope that he will have a bountiful harvest this year. More on this story as it breaks.
 
This just in: Sources indicate that--Wait! This guy again? Really? He's become quite the attention whore, hasn't he? Okay, no more news spots concerning him unless it involved something truly obscene. What? He did? This just in: Man breaks into local animal shelter and sacrifices all animals held within to Zarkon the Space God with the hope that he will have a bountiful harvest this year. More on this story as it breaks.

Sentenced for felony prolixity.
 
This just in: The most perfect body has finally been uncovered. What? Fuck going to a commercial break. I'm staying live with this story.
 
This just in: The most perfect body has finally been uncovered. What? Fuck going to a commercial break. I'm staying live with this story.

He lost his head when he learned that chickens don't have a cock, and ran through Times Square headless.
 
This just in: Local inventor, DeckardNYC, has been sued over licensing infringement with his new line of sex dolls called Pubic Patch Kids.
 
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