Puns

[SirConradPeckereye]

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

German sausage jokes are just the wurst

 

[investor2020]

 

[investor2020]

 

[investor2020]

 

[investor2020]

 

[investor2020]

 

[investor2020]

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'

*throws roses at your feet while you flourish your coat tails and take multiple bows

 

[Whitneysub]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Lactose intolerant

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

View attachment 2169194

I bet it's yoking delicious though!

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Guy walks into a bar and lays a dead giraffe on the floor. The bartender says "Hey..what's that lyin' there." The man said "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

2 blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. Its deer tracks. No, it's bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird, Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos....

 

[investor2020]

^^^^
Somebody got up way too early this morning, Sir Conrad.