Pure Moonlight (closed)

[KieranSoares]

Kreston followed Selena to the door, watching her go in silence. He resigned himself to waiting for her, going to make tea for himself while he awaited her.

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena's hike through the woods seemed aimless. She had no rhyme or reason as to where she was going, but her head was pounding fiercely. Before she knew it, she found herself in a clearing in the woods. It was familiar to her. It was the place where the Invernessian Kings had been buried for centuries.

She made her way to the last stone, staring down at it as she thought about her father. She had never seen any good in him. He was a terrible man who had caused pain for his family. She hated him, but she also saw a lot of him in herself. It was inescapable.

With a long sigh, she sat down at the foot of his grave, thinking about the twists and turns her life had taken. "I'll never understand why you hated me so much. All I wanted was a Da that loved me. Now I have to worry that I'll turn out like you one day."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Never hated any o' ya," a soft, deep voice murmured in her head. "Never hated anyone, really... 'cept maybe my own Da."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Of course you hated us." Selena murmured at the voice in her head. "If you loved us, you wouldn't have beat our mother. You would have let us all be happy. We wouldn't carry the scars that you left on our hearts, our minds, and our bodies. I was happy the day that I learned you died."

She couldn't help the tears that came as she said that. She had once loved her father, even if she couldn't remember it. She had hurt so bad as a little girl that she had turned to Ghell who raised her like his own. She hadn't been happy that Tamblin had died. Not in the least. The news had been like a dagger to the heart, even if she hid it well from the rest of her family.

 

[KieranSoares]

A dim shape came to Selena's side, walking stiffly and sitting down beside her with some difficulty. "I loved ya... Ye were my first little girl. But I didn't know what t'do with ya... But I lost m'self."

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena couldn't bring herself to look at the figure of her father. She still couldn't face the man and he had been dead for so many years. That was a wound that hurt deeply even still today.

"None of us wanted much from you. We wanted our Ma to be happy. You said and did such horrible things to her." Selena accused, remembering the fights he would start after Valentina was born. "I can't be happy in my life anymore because I fear I'm turning into you."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I was a monster... Right up until the end..." Of course Selena knew the story from her brother and mother about how Tamblin had suffered for a few days after his defeat at Brogan's hand. But in that time, he'd found clarity, and made sure to tell his son and wife how he loved them before the end. Apparently he'd asked them to tell Selena and the other children the same, but Durban and Boar refused to hear it while Ashien and Kayla just didn't believe it. Kitty had continued to hold that he really was good inside, but afraid of the world, and she still believed it and never said a cruel word about the man despite how she suffered most.

"You won' be me, Selena..." the dim figure murmured in that familiar gravelly growl. "You could love yer children openly... You never hurt yer man though 'e was gone so long. An' now yer part of a community tha' loves ya. Any one o' those oughta prove you ain' gonna be me. Ye've got yer Ma's heart, but yer afraid o' the world like I was. There's a lot t'be scared of... But nothin' truly worth hurtin' anyone for. 'Specially not yer babies 'r yer love."

Then he quietly added, "I did love 'er, y'know... More'n life itself."

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena wasn't sure that she could take comfort in her father's words. She wanted to believe so badly that she wouldn't become bitter and crazy like he had been. If that turned out to be the case, she knew that she would take her own life rather than put her family through all of that turmoil.

"And she loves you still." Selena said softly, the tears that had been gathering in her eyes falling. "And I wish so much that I could love you too."

 

[KieranSoares]

"There's no shame in love, darlin'," Tamblin murmured. "Tha's what I realized when it was too late. Don' deprive yerself an' yer family o' love like I did. Ye'll be alright if ya do." She could almost feel a cold, large hand on her shoulder, bringing back a ghost of a memory of sitting in his lap as a tiny girl.

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena could barely remember a time when her Da loved her. He had always been so afraid of the world around him. She remembered all of the fear and uncertainty and any love that she might have held for him was gone the day she had to run away from Inverness. Still, there was a part of her that wanted to love him simply because he was her father.

"If anything you taught me that my family was the most important part of me." Selena said softly as she felt that icy hand on her shoulder. "I hold them dear. I'm afraid of letting them go."

Selena finally turned to face the shadowed figure, her heart squeezing tightly as she saw familiar brown eyes looking back at her. "Perhaps in time I can love you. Right now I'm simply trying to remember the good."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Ye'll be alright, little lass," he muttered. "Ye've got yer Ma's heart an' strength. Jus' never let yer babies ferget ya love 'em." He began to rise stiffly to leave her side.

 

[heartofcourage]

Selena watched him stand to go, her heart aching painfully. He still had so many demons and no rest. Perhaps one day Tamblin would find that peace he sorely needed. A wave of fatigue washed over her suddenly and before she knew it, she was curled up on his grave, her eyes closing heavily.

She woke to the sounds of thunder. It was raining and the sky was much lighter. She felt odd, freezing cold and unable to move. Something was wrong.

"Ma!" Luna's familiar voice came through the trees, calling out for her mother as she and her family searched the woods for the woman who never returned home the night before.

The rain has dampened her scent, leaving them unable to track where she had gone. Luna and the rest of the family were desperately worried about her.

 

[KieranSoares]

Jan was close beside Luna. As she cried out for her mother again, Jan darted away from her side. "Selena?" He called, stepping out into a clearing that Luna had only ever seen a couple times in her life. The tan wolf came into Selena's sight, looking down at her with surprise and deep concern. "Luna!" He called back, "She's here!" He pulled off his cloak to wrap it around Selena.

 

[heartofcourage]

Luna was quick to leap into the clearing the sight of her mother lying on her father's grave. She knew something was wrong as she knelt beside her and saw that she was trying to talk and was unable to. Luna felt fear because this was her mother not just any other patient.

"Go get my Da and Ruben. Then run into Inverness for my Grandpa." Luna murmured as she placed her hand on her mother's cheek. "Ma, just hold on for me."

 

[KieranSoares]

Jan was off like a shot, and it was only a couple minutes before Kreston and Ruben arrived. Kreston slid to his knees beside Selena and Ruben knelt by Luna. "Tell us what we need to do, Luna," Ruben murmured quickly as it became clear Kreston was deeply affected by the sight of his wife so broken down and fading to illness.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't know." Luna murmured as her father just stood there and stared at her mother as Ruben struggled come up with something to do. "It could be a stroke. She's had headaches lately. She can't talk. She hasn't moved since I came."

Luna sat back and thought for a moment. "Hold your cloak over her, Ru. We can keep her dry until help comes. Da, I need my herbs from home."

 

[KieranSoares]

Kreston hurried off despite a moment's hesitation, and Ruben pulled off his cloak to shield his mother from the rain. By the time Kreston returned, thundering hooves were following him. Vincenzo and Jan came galloping through the trees, followed shortly by Valentina and Theo. Vincenzo took over immediately, kneeling to take a close look into Selena's eyes and to check her breathing and her heart. "Selena? Can you say anything at all?" He asked softly, his warm hands resting on her cheeks. When she was unable to reply, he slowly and carefully sat her up and had her lean back against Kreston. "Ruben, Jan, come here." The two men approached and between themselves and Vincenzo, they got Selena up on a horse. With the two men holding her steady, Vincenzo climbed up to take hold of Selena and let her rest back against him.

"Slow and steady," he told them, giving his horse a small nudge. It was painfully slow going, but they walked back to the village all while keeping Selena awake and dry as possible. Between Vincenzo, Valentina, and Luna, Selena was soon in her bed in dry clothes and everyone else, save Theo who was laying out herbs on the side, waited in painful silence in the den.

 

[heartofcourage]

Luna was there every step of the way. She was watching, observing the situation and learning from her grandfather and aunt. They were two of the very best and even if this was her mother, it was a learning experience. As everyone stood in the house quietly, she was thinking through all of the possibilities.

"She's been having headaches but she would always get better." Luna murmured, looking at her aunt as she checked over Selena.

"Were they painful?" Valentina asked, glancing towards Luna.

"Some. She's been under a lot of stress lately." Luna murmured softly. "I don't think it's a stroke. It's more...like her mind has left her."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I'll have to watch over her a while to understand... Until then, we need to work on staving off pneumonia." Vincenzo directed Valentina to get a fire going and start boiling water.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Will she be alright, Grandpa?" Luna asked not as a fellow healer but as a daughter who needed some good words of encouragement about her mother. She felt as helpless as a newborn cub watching her mother struggle so much.

 

[KieranSoares]

"It may take time... but yes, love, I'm sure she'll be alright. She has a lot to live for." Vincenzo came to kiss her forehead. "Go to your father. He needs a little reassurance of his own.

 

[heartofcourage]

Luna nodded as Vincenzo told her to go and take care of her father. She glanced towards her mother for another long moment, her face pale and drawn as her lashes rested heavily on her cheeks. She had never seen her mother looking so fragile. Selena Ghis was a strong woman, one who had been through hell many times. She was sure that her mother would pull through, but she wasn't sure in what state she would come back to them in.

When she left the room, she saw Ruben sitting with Telma. Telma was trying her best to calm her mate, taking care of him as she best could. Luna then looked at Jan and gave him a slight nod before she stepped outside to find her father.

"Daddy?" Luna murmured softly as she found him sitting under his tree in the pouring rain. "Are you sure you want to stay out here in this weather?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"I should've gotten her help sooner," was Kreston's muttered response. "I knew something was wrong... She was hurting so badly and her heart was breaking... I should've taken her to Vincenzo last night before she had a chance to go out on that walk..."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Because of me and Ruben?" Luna asked softly as she took a seat next to her father on the wet ground, her cloak hood pulled up over her head and ears as she glanced towards him with those ice blue eyes. "With all of her headaches lately, I thought it was just the stress of returning home that was getting to her. I had no idea that it was about the two of us."

She reached over and took her father's hand in her own, squeezing it tightly. "Grandpa says that she'll be alright. We have to help her through but she will be alright. You know how stubborn Ma is about leaving any of us behind."

"Ruben and I can't simply stop our lives because she needs us to stay. As much as I enjoyed my childhood with the both of you, it's time that I start living for myself. That doesn't mean that I'll go far away and never come home." Luna tried to soothe her father with those words, unsure of what he needed to hear in that moment.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know that, love. You and Ruben have never been the sort to want to go halfway across the world. The furthest I ever would've expected you two to go is the village on the other side of town, or maybe another tribe in Scotland. I'm okay with that, though it hurts any parent to watch their cubs grow up and go away. But your mother... her entire life has been about caring for others. Now that you two are going off, she doesn't feel like she has a purpose any more. I've tried to tell her to live for herself, find some passions and hobbies to pursue... but she's lost."