Romance vs. Raunch

[patchman69]

monday bump

bump bump bump

 

[va_angel2u]

Re: monday bump

bump bump bump

howdy Patch. How's things?

 

[va_angel2u]

thought I'd come in to give a hump bump.

Hope all is well.

 

[bashfull]

Bumpity Bump

Howdy

 

[Beauteous]

romance

My ex used to do grandiose romantic gestures, but I often felt they were more for his reputation than me. In private, I might as well have been a chair.

My boyfriend is a whole new wonderful dimension of romance. It's the little things I enjoy.

The fact that he tells me he loves me several times a day,

that he always hugs and kisses me hello,

that he holds my hand for hours,

that he blows me secret little kisses when we're in an inappropriate place to kiss,

that he does kiss me sometimes right in the middle of a crowd,

that he notices the little things, understands what I like and dislike, KNOWS me better than anyone

that he tells me I'm beautiful and he makes me feel beautiful

that he brings me little surprises

tells me hes not the jealous type but keeps an eye on men who check me out anyway

loves to make me laugh

comforts me exactly the way I need when I'm upset

says the things I need to hear

looks into my eyes when we make love

has NO doubts that we are going to be together forever.

He also knows how and when to get raunchy:

when I'm feeling naughty, he delights in it and never makes me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed

does impulsive sexy things that make me laugh from surprise and then jump his bad boy ass

will do just about anything and everything in bed you could imagine

is willing to go along with any "out there" fantasy I have

whispers naughty things to me to get me going, sometimes when I can't do anything about it

does incredible phone sex

will share erotica/porn pictures, movies, stories that he thinks I might like.

The key is that we took one step at a time, getting to know what turns each other on and where the lines are (although they are pretty darn wide). As well, the relationship is always first, so the romance flows. Raunchy is just for fun, like dessert. Romance is the main course.

If a man or woman is in love, these things come naturally. Mutual respect, patience, understanding, that's all you need.

 

[Curious_Fem]

Re: romance

~snip~

If a man or woman is in love, these things come naturally. Mutual respect, patience, understanding, that's all you need.

What an amazing first post. This last sentence struck me. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.

 

[bashfull]

Re: romance

My ex used to do grandiose romantic gestures, but I often felt they were more for his reputation than me. In private, I might as well have been a chair.

My boyfriend is a whole new wonderful dimension of romance. It's the little things I enjoy.

The fact that he tells me he loves me several times a day,

that he always hugs and kisses me hello,

that he holds my hand for hours,

that he blows me secret little kisses when we're in an inappropriate place to kiss,

that he does kiss me sometimes right in the middle of a crowd,

that he notices the little things, understands what I like and dislike, KNOWS me better than anyone

that he tells me I'm beautiful and he makes me feel beautiful

that he brings me little surprises

tells me hes not the jealous type but keeps an eye on men who check me out anyway

loves to make me laugh

comforts me exactly the way I need when I'm upset

says the things I need to hear

looks into my eyes when we make love

has NO doubts that we are going to be together forever.

He also knows how and when to get raunchy:

when I'm feeling naughty, he delights in it and never makes me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed

does impulsive sexy things that make me laugh from surprise and then jump his bad boy ass

will do just about anything and everything in bed you could imagine

is willing to go along with any "out there" fantasy I have

whispers naughty things to me to get me going, sometimes when I can't do anything about it

does incredible phone sex

will share erotica/porn pictures, movies, stories that he thinks I might like.

The key is that we took one step at a time, getting to know what turns each other on and where the lines are (although they are pretty darn wide). As well, the relationship is always first, so the romance flows. Raunchy is just for fun, like dessert. Romance is the main course.

If a man or woman is in love, these things come naturally. Mutual respect, patience, understanding, that's all you need.

Sounds like you've got a good thing going, darlin'. Welcome to Lit. And thanks for making this thread your first post. Hope to see you around some more.



Bash

 

[Noor]

I have been thinking about how one of my relationships tends to go in circles from romance to rauch to romance to raunch... Sometimes I would like to give up the raunch because there isn't as much depth to it, but the romance also bugs me at times. I guess I would really prefer something in the middle most times with brief forays into the extremes.

That being said, if a certain someone were to turn up today I would probably jump him first then romance him
I have visions of pushing him up against the wall, pressing myself against him, covering his face and lips with hungry kisses, my hand snaking slowly and insistently down his chest to his jeans (I wish I wasn't work so I could continue and elobarate on this fantasy )



ps. wecome back.iceman

 

[Beauteous]

first post

Sounds like you've got a good thing going, darlin'. Welcome to Lit. And thanks for making this thread your first post. Hope to see you around some more.



Bash

To be honest, it isn't my first post. I started writing for Literotica about a year and a half ago and started a picture thread about a year ago. I got what I wanted out of them and chose to move on. I took them off a couple of weeks ago, and the Literotica moderators took off my sign in name along with everything else, so I'm back to the beginning. I didn't expect that.

But, that's okay. A fresh start. A new approach. I prefer to be on the sidelines for a while.

 

[bashfull]

Re: first post

To be honest, it isn't my first post. I started writing for Literotica about a year and a half ago and started a picture thread about a year ago. I got what I wanted out of them and chose to move on. I took them off a couple of weeks ago, and the Literotica moderators took off my sign in name along with everything else, so I'm back to the beginning. I didn't expect that.

But, that's okay. A fresh start. A new approach. I prefer to be on the sidelines for a while.

OIC. A name that I might recognize? I understand if you prefer to remain silent on the subject.



Bash

 

[Beauteous]

Re: Re: first post

OIC. A name that I might recognize? I understand if you prefer to remain silent on the subject.



Bash

I used this name. A major reason I deleted everything was that the stories and photographs were beginning to build a pretty comprehensive picture (no pun intended) of me. Also, I wanted to get back to writing other things. Unless you happened to catch my stories or my thread "Brand New Camera", you wouldn't recognize "Beauteous."

I've read through about half your postings and am amazed at what it generated. Romance seems to be something everyone wants. But, romance is empty without love. It's a one-man play, don't you think?

May I ask why you started this thread?

 

[bashfull]

Re: Re: Re: first post

I used this name. A major reason I deleted everything was that the stories and photographs were beginning to build a pretty comprehensive picture (no pun intended) of me. Also, I wanted to get back to writing other things. Unless you happened to catch my stories or my thread "Brand New Camera", you wouldn't recognize "Beauteous."

I've read through about half your postings and am amazed at what it generated. Romance seems to be something everyone wants. But, romance is empty without love. It's a one-man play, don't you think?

May I ask why you started this thread?

I disagree. I believe romance should always be present. Love is a different issue. Romance is action in how you treat each other, think of each other, both physically and emotionally.

 

[Beauteous]

Re: Re: Re: Re: first post

I disagree. I believe romance should always be present. Love is a different issue. Romance is action in how you treat each other, think of each other, both physically and emotionally.

I stand by "Romance is empty without love." Love is the fuel, romance is the fire. I think a good relationship has both. Some men have difficulty with romance, but if they are truly in love, they can probably learn how to express it in a more romantic way. Of course, people have different ideas of what is romantic. I think some women don't see the motive behind the action and adhere to the "romance is chocolates, candles, flowers, and moonlit walks" theory, not realizing that a man may actually be putting more thought and effort into showing his love in a non-typical fashion. To me, romance is connection, attention, gentle sweetness, affection, showing someone that they are the centre of your world and there is no where else you would rather be, than with them.

 

[bashfull]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: first post

I stand by "Romance is empty without love." Love is the fuel, romance is the fire. I think a good relationship has both. Some men have difficulty with romance, but if they are truly in love, they can probably learn how to express it in a more romantic way. Of course, people have different ideas of what is romantic. I think some women don't see the motive behind the action and adhere to the "romance is chocolates, candles, flowers, and moonlit walks" theory, not realizing that a man may actually be putting more thought and effort into showing his love in a non-typical fashion. To me, romance is connection, attention, gentle sweetness, affection, showing someone that they are the centre of your world and there is no where else you would rather be, than with them.

So if I go on a first date with a woman, meet her at the door with flowers...compliment her...open her car door, open all doors, gaze into her eyes, reserve a secluded alcove, light a candle, hold her chair for her as she sits, rise when she stands, look at no other woman during the course of the evening, do everything I can to make her feel special and appreciated, develop a connection, then I must be in love? If so, then I've been in love many, many times. Or I am not being romantic? And if not, then what?

As for motive, does there need to be one? Other than to make the person you are with the center of your universe, even if for a short time? To be appreciate of her time, attention, and perhaps affection?

Perhaps we need to redress the definition of romance. Cause now I'm confused (but what else is new?).

Bash

 

[Noor]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: first post

So if I go on a first date with a woman, meet her at the door with flowers...compliment her...open her car door, open all doors, gaze into her eyes, reserve a secluded alcove, light a candle, hold her chair for her as she sits, rise when she stands, look at no other woman during the course of the evening, do everything I can to make her feel special and appreciated, develop a connection, then I must be in love? If so, then I've been in love many, many times. Or I am not being romantic? And if not, then what?

As for motive, does there need to be one? Other than to make the person you are with the center of your universe, even if for a short time? To be appreciate of her time, attention, and perhaps affection?

Perhaps we need to redress the definition of romance. Cause now I'm confused (but what else is new?).

Bash

there are lots of definitions of romance

I agree with Bash, giving someone your undivided attention, making them the center of your universe, focusing your energy on them, is a wonderful romantic gift. There doesn't have to be anything else, any definitions, any strings beyond that, and that does not make it an empty gesture.
I think the feelings and actions of being in love, in lust, acting with loving kindness, love, respect and romantic gestures can be all part of a relationship and interaction between people but none of them alone necessarily precedes or even implies any other.

If I see a sad man and I have roses, I may give him a rose, a definite romantic gesture, but have no other feeling behind it beyond not wanting to see another person so sad. I have done this before, and somehow the person receiving the rose understands.

I know some people look at life and relationships as a series of trades, if you do that, I will do this, but I don't.

To me the highest form of friendship and of love is to be able to give unconditionally.

 

[Beauteous]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: first post

So if I go on a first date with a woman, meet her at the door with flowers...compliment her...open her car door, open all doors, gaze into her eyes, reserve a secluded alcove, light a candle, hold her chair for her as she sits, rise when she stands, look at no other woman during the course of the evening, do everything I can to make her feel special and appreciated, develop a connection, then I must be in love? If so, then I've been in love many, many times. Or I am not being romantic? And if not, then what?

As for motive, does there need to be one? Other than to make the person you are with the center of your universe, even if for a short time? To be appreciate of her time, attention, and perhaps affection?

Perhaps we need to redress the definition of romance. Cause now I'm confused (but what else is new?).

Bash

You're right, of course. That is romantic. Hmmm, maybe there's romantic behaviour for courting and romance in a relationship, similar but different. The first is like a perfect strawberry tart. The second is like a dessert trolley. If you did half those things, any girl would love the romance. I know I would.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: first post

there are lots of definitions of romance

I agree with Bash, giving someone your undivided attention, making them the center of your universe, focusing your energy on them, is a wonderful romantic gift. There doesn't have to be anything else, any definitions, any strings beyond that, and that does not make it an empty gesture.
I think the feelings and actions of being in love, in lust, acting with loving kindness, love, respect and romantic gestures can be all part of a relationship and interaction between people but none of them alone necessarily precedes or even implies any other.

If I see a sad man and I have roses, I may give him a rose, a definite romantic gesture, but have no other feeling behind it beyond not wanting to see another person so sad. I have done this before, and somehow the person receiving the rose understands.

I know some people look at life and relationships as a series of trades, if you do that, I will do this, but I don't.

To me the highest form of friendship and of love is to be able to give unconditionally.

To be able to give and NOT expect anything at all in return is a wonderful thing indeed ,however I dont know too many people who can say that they never ever expect anything back ...at the very least appreciation for the kind gesture you did would be nice..
Also in my case ,I feel that the physical part of our relationship is very importanat as well ,altho if anything happened medically to change that ,we'd still love each other tremendously cause our Bond goes beyond that..
I feel romantic gestures are fine of course ,just make sure that mixed signals arent sent... some people are very sensitive about things while yet others are just plain naive..
Too many ppl THINK they are 'in love' just cause someone gives them a bit of attention,etc or does a few nice things for them,I feel you really have to spend some quality time with someone ,be it offline or on and get to know a little about them before you allow your heart to take you on an emotional rollercoaster...Just speaking from experience and hope I didnt offend anyone


alot of men will romance ,wine and dine a woman just to get in her pants ,lol....well the romance should continue even AFTER the relationship is established cause making a woman feel special goes a long way ...I am still surprised when Dracoa gets me a rose spontaneously,or grabs me a hershey bar at the store ( my fav candy) but it lets me know ,I am on his mind. as well as in his heart.

 

[bashfull]

You're right, of course. That is romantic. Hmmm, maybe there's romantic behaviour for courting and romance in a relationship, similar but different. The first is like a perfect strawberry tart. The second is like a dessert trolley. If you did half those things, any girl would love the romance. I know I would.

Any relationship should begin with romance and then continue to develop. One should never stop "courting". As for doing half those things I mentioned, it is how I believe in treating every lady in my company, socially, personally, and physically. Romance shouldn't stop at the bedroom door. Instead, romance should enhance the physical.

Bash

 

[va_angel2u]

Any relationship should begin with romance and then continue to develop. One should never stop "courting". As for doing half those things I mentioned, it is how I believe in treating every lady in my company, socially, personally, and physically. Romance shouldn't stop at the bedroom door. Instead, romance should enhance the physical.

Bash

Bash, not many men (for whatever reason, and wmn also can forget the "small things") actually realize that. The romantic gestures, as Dream pointed out, show that you have that person on your mind, that you appreciate them, and care about them. For wmn in particular, imho as a wmn , having someone make you feel that way will elicite more of the physical responses in return.

A friend of mine was actually starting to worry something serious was wrong w/ her. She did not want to make love to her husband, many times she didnt even want to be around him. She left him 2 yrs ago and has just met a new guy who is so different from hubby... hubby really didnt want to be seen w/ her in public, not do things w/ her family, wanted her to spend money she earned on him but never him on her, etc...

The new guy has surprised her w/ roses (oh, hubby gave her roses for mothers day from their child, he had them in the attic for a WEEK before mothers day... they had molded, turned brown and were just yucky), won't let her pay for much of anything when they go out, fixed her car, bought her a necklace etc... and she snuck him into a utility building the other week (so child wouldn't surprise them )and had a nooner. So now she's surprised by HAVING the hormones..lol. That, however, is what having someone make you feel desireable will do for the hormones, rather than being treated just as a fuck hole.

just my .02 cents worth.....as I sneak back out.

 

[va_angel2u]

just saw your new "location"...hehe....so I have to ask....."are you 'Big and Rich'" :d

 

[bashfull]

Re: first post

there are lots of definitions of romance
~snip~


I know some people look at life and relationships as a series of trades, if you do that, I will do this, but I don't.

~snip~

It is interesting that there are those who might view these as trades. I never expect anything other than respect and some modicum of consideration (and not that type of consideration, you perverts!). Just being in the company of someone on whom I would bestow these jestures is my reward. Through my experience in all things has taught me that the more I give, the more I receive. And I give w/o conditions, in business, charity, socially, romantically, and sexually (though I may not have much to give on that last one).

 

[bashfull]

Re: first post

~snip~If you did half those things, any girl would love the romance. I know I would.

Darlin',

That is how I believe in treating a lady in my company. Tis I who benefits for I might win some of her attention.



Bash

 

[Noor]

Re: Re: first post

It is interesting that there are those who might view these as trades. I never expect anything other than respect and some modicum of consideration (and not that type of consideration, you perverts!). Just being in the company of someone on whom I would bestow these jestures is my reward. Through my experience in all things has taught me that the more I give, the more I receive. And I give w/o conditions, in business, charity, socially, romantically, and sexually (though I may not have much to give on that last one).

No wonder I like you so much Bash

 

[Noor]

Any relationship should begin with romance and then continue to develop. One should never stop "courting". As for doing half those things I mentioned, it is how I believe in treating every lady in my company, socially, personally, and physically. Romance shouldn't stop at the bedroom door. Instead, romance should enhance the physical.

Bash

Romance doesn't have to be proscribed items or activities like candles, flowers, candy, holding doors open and other traditional courting gestures. It is doing things that make people smile, that make the other person feel good.

I tend to distrust overly romantic gestures of the classic kind, makes me wonder what they want. I prefer more personal subtle kinds, like finding me something of my favorite singer songwriter in a flea market, mistakenly labeling vegetables in the garden with my name, sending me cards with photos and music I like, being there when I need someone, giving me an image to fall asleep with, making me laugh, painting my toenails, bringing me my favorite bubble tea, being there in some fashion when I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning, saying you like my nicknames du jour for you, paying attention to what is going on in my life even when you are stressed yourself, being silly with me, making me laugh when things go wrong, planting lettuce with curly red edges that remind you of my hair, being told you think about me (and in what manner!) when you are away, ...

oh I forgot, and how could I forget?
Telling me about his dreams with me in them.

 

[Beauteous]

subtle

Romance doesn't have to be proscribed items or activities like candles, flowers, candy, holding doors open and other traditional courting gestures. It is doing things that make people smile, that make the other person feel good.

I tend to distrust overly romantic gestures of the classic kind, makes me wonder what they want. I prefer more personal subtle kinds, like finding me something of my favorite singer songwriter in a flea market ...

I totally agree. Anyone can buy flowers, hold open a door, or light a candle. It takes someone who CARES and knows you to do the personal gestures. My boyfriend hardly ever buys me flowers, but he is the most romantic man I have ever known. He's also naughty, flirtatous, sexy, funny, intense, sweet, and generous of heart. Romance is just one spice in the delectable dish.