Romance

[shy slave]

Tonight, I was asked by a vanilla friend if Andante was romantic.

She described romance as opening car doors, opening any doors, buying flowers or small gifts and paying for meals out.

I laughed, Andante is not romantic in her world at all!!

I prefer that he isn't. Of course, I like nice gestures but they also make me very uncomfortable.
I like him to acknowledge my birthday and Christmas, but I don't see that as romance; I see it as giving a damn about me.

I don't think I am particularly romantic, although I buy stupid gifts for him now and then.

This woman is Swedish and thinks Scandinavian men are too direct to be romantic.

I don't find British men romantic, some of those gestures are aimed at trying to get you into bed. Of course that is a generalisation, but sometimes they do those things because it is expected; not because they want to.


So what in vanilla terms do you see as 'romantic?'
Do you think there is either a particular nationality or US state that are more or less romantic than other people?
What romantic gestures do you like to receive, regardless of whether you are PYL or a pyl?

 

[FurryFury]

Tonight, I was asked by a vanilla friend if Andante was romantic.

She described romance as opening car doors, opening any doors, buying flowers or small gifts and paying for meals out.

I laughed, Andante is not romantic in her world at all!!

I prefer that he isn't. Of course, I like nice gestures but they also make me very uncomfortable.
I like him to acknowledge my birthday and Christmas, but I don't see that as romance; I see it as giving a damn about me.

I don't think I am particularly romantic, although I buy stupid gifts for him now and then.

This woman is Swedish and thinks Scandinavian men are too direct to be romantic.

I don't find British men romantic, some of those gestures are aimed at trying to get you into bed. Of course that is a generalisation, but sometimes they do those things because it is expected; not because they want to.


1.) So what in vanilla terms do you see as 'romantic?'

2.) Do you think there is either a particular nationality or US state that are more or less romantic than other people?

3,) What romantic gestures do you like to receive, regardless of whether you are PYL or a pyl?

1.) I see picnics, flowers, kisses, smiles, hugs, candles, a night away at a hotel and much more as romantic.

2.) It never occurred to me that there might be a US state, or particular nationality that might be more or less romantic. I tend to think of women as more romantic than men in general.

3.) I like dining by candlelight, I like getting flowers once or twice a year, I like going on romantic weekends twice a year. I do not like getting expensive jewelry which I could better use the money spent on other things but I put up with it.

I'm an angel donja know?

Fury

 

[Bandit58]

Master Gil buys me flowers occasionally. He also holds my hand when we are out, kisses me in public, sometimes opens the car door for me and is generally attentive to me. Stark contrast to my previous husband who would not hold my hand in public let alone kiss me, never bought me flowers (or anything really) and couldn't even remember my birthday or the day we got married

Like Fury I am quite content with hugs and kisses and don't need expensive presents. It annoys me no end when advertisements for expensive jewellery come on TV, notoriously around Valentine's Day and Christmas, assuming that every woman wants a diamond ring that costs in excess of $5000 There's a whole lot more that we could do with that money than wear it as a rock on my finger - like get ourselves a smaller more up-to-date car

 

[graceanne]

I consider the oddest things romantic. I do not consider flowers romantic, that's too cliche' and easy to do. When I had D he took all the rolls of film around the house and got them developed for me. When I had A he went to a specialty chocolate store and got me handmade chocolate covered cherries. *bliss* The last time I was in the hospital he put up a mirror I'd been nagging him to hang. When I'm feeling crappy and I take a nap and I get up and the house is picked up . . . I consider those things romantic because thought goes into them.

 

[Zinfandel]

I don't know that I need or want 'romance', or even what a good definition of it is for me. What I do love though is when he does something for no other reason than because he loves me.

When I'm cranky and PMSing, my husband will stop on his way home from work and bring me chocolate. He doesn't ask ahead of time, doesn't make a big deal about it, he just comes to me with M&Ms and a smile and says "I thought these might help make you feel better" and gives me a kiss.

 

[callinectes]

I'm easy to please, I'm happy with the sweet gestures and the big honking ring.

Seriously though, if one can afford it and is so inclined, an important piece of jewlery to commerate a major milestone in a relationship is something I find very nice. I'm talking engagement, 25th anniversarty, big events.

Having said that, I adore the thoughtful gestures and think they oftentimes have far more feeling behind them than the big gifts. It's easy enough to pop down to the jewelers and drop 5k on a necklace. Taking the time to set up a surprise like Andante did is real romance IMHO. Sorry to bust your bubble Shy, but I think that was as romatic as anything becuase it made you so happy.

 

[satindesire]

Oral that lasts for more than three minutes.

 

[FurryFury]

I adore night walks, while holding hands under the moon.

A bud of mine says he and his wife eat dinner in the hot tub almost every night. I consider that romantic. I'm a bit jealous.

Fury

 

[BiBunny]

I'm not a romantic. At. All. I'm a hardcore cynic if there ever was one. That being said, if B. remembers my as-yet-unexplained neck pain and either pops it for me or massages it (or both) without me whining, "Goddammit, my neck hurts," I'm an annoyingly melting puddle of lovey-doveyness. Nope, ladies and gentleman, it don't take much at all to get to me.

 

[shy slave]

FurryFury ~ An angel Huh,

callinectes, you didn't burst my bubble at all I agree his surprise was romantic; but in relation to what my vanilla friend terms 'romance' neither of us are romantic at all.

Interesting to see that the people who have posted in general think expensive presents are not romantic but are an easy option .

The most romantic thing I can think that we do for each other is we hold hands when we are out together and we enjoy the small touches and caresses when we are in each others company.
He has held me many, many times when I have cried and cried and thought I would never stop, not sure it is romance but it shows he cares.

It is the small gestures that involve thought that shows someone cares.

But are those gestures 'romance?'

The media would have us believe that romance is wine and roses etc etc etc.

I am not really interested in the 'wine and roses' kind of gestures, they somehow seem very contrived.
I like the day-to-day small gestures instead of grandstanding efforts once in a blue moon.

Maybe I am a cynic, but if a man acts in how my vanilla friend sees romance I have one of two thoughts:
1. What has he done and feels guilty about
2. Does he want sex

 

[ShyGuy68]

2. Does he want sex

Most men wants sex, if they like the woman And some want it as well even if they don't like her, but just find her attractive, or he's drunk enough

 

[Chicklet]

not at all into "romance" and more or less put off if a guy tries to do it... I've received flowers once and I liked it, but I think more than once and I would have flipped out. The guy that gave them to me wasn't even dating me

I think the thing I'd like most that could be described as romantic is just... having a man who desired to see me, even if it wasn't possible right then. I think that would be wonderful... My last boyfriend/PYL was always so busy that making time for me was a big hassle, and he always made it seem like he was doing me a favor by allowing me to spend time with him.

 

[shy slave]

Most men wants sex, if they like the woman And some want it as well even if they don't like her, but just find her attractive, or he's drunk enough

True.

When I was younger and single I used to hate all the lead up men seemed to think was necessary before asking for sex.

If they wanted it they should be upfront and say so, the answer may not be 'yes' but either way it saved time, effort and money.

Several men said I was odd in thinking like that.

My response was that women used the knowledge that the man wanted sex to get what they could out of a relationship before finally saying 'no'

 

[shy slave]

not at all into "romance" and more or less put off if a guy tries to do it... I've received flowers once and I liked it, but I think more than once and I would have flipped out. The guy that gave them to me wasn't even dating me

I think the thing I'd like most that could be described as romantic is just... having a man who desired to see me, even if it wasn't possible right then. I think that would be wonderful... My last boyfriend/PYL was always so busy that making time for me was a big hassle, and he always made it seem like he was doing me a favor by allowing me to spend time with him.

I like that, romance being that he desires to see you, even if it is not possible.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[trisquel_astur]

I'm very romantic and I not only own my birdie... I really love her!

Song: Have you ever really loved a woman
Artist: Bryan Adams

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N´ give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin´ helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman you tell her
that she´s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she´s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that it´s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You´ve gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N´ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she´s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she´s the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
that you´ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin´ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...​

 

[lil_slave_rose]

FurryFury ~ An angel Huh,

callinectes, you didn't burst my bubble at all I agree his surprise was romantic; but in relation to what my vanilla friend terms 'romance' neither of us are romantic at all.

Interesting to see that the people who have posted in general think expensive presents are not romantic but are an easy option .

The most romantic thing I can think that we do for each other is we hold hands when we are out together and we enjoy the small touches and caresses when we are in each others company.
He has held me many, many times when I have cried and cried and thought I would never stop, not sure it is romance but it shows he cares.

It is the small gestures that involve thought that shows someone cares.

But are those gestures 'romance?'

The media would have us believe that romance is wine and roses etc etc etc.

I am not really interested in the 'wine and roses' kind of gestures, they somehow seem very contrived.
I like the day-to-day small gestures instead of grandstanding efforts once in a blue moon.

Maybe I am a cynic, but if a man acts in how my vanilla friend sees romance I have one of two thoughts:
1. What has he done and feels guilty about
2. Does he want sex

very good thread and has made me think..lol. Master does Open doors for me when we are going in somewhere, but not so much when i'm getting out of my car, which i'm glad for because i find it annoying..LOL i'm a big girl, i can open my own car door, and i HATE waiting to get out of the car.

as far as big fancy things being bought for me, naw, that's not romance in my eyes, though i do like to get flowers occasionally, especially the rose He brought me from His very own rose bush the first time He came to see me *grins* i'm with everyone else, it's the little things that matter most. a card on my birthday, an i love You for no other reason than because He felt like saying it, holding my hand while we walk down the street, a quick kiss to let me know He loves me....things like that are all the most 'romantic' to me....

 

[catalina_francisco]

So what in vanilla terms do you see as 'romantic?'

Hmmm, I think it depends on the people and relationship most times. Sometimes it can be the traditional type things like chocolate, flowers, opening doors, othjer times it might be doing something houseworky or errand like when you know your partner is totally pooped and can't muster the energy or motivation to do it themselves.

Do you think there is either a particular nationality or US state that are more or less romantic than other people?

LOL, I am biased I guess, but I have always found Latin men, dare I say Spanish men, to be the ultimate in romance. F warned me he was not in the least romantic, but as with a few things, he has found since we have been together what was once true for him is no more because he now is motivated by love to do things he always thought a waste of time with other women. So yes, I get flowers for no reason at all (recently 2 weeks in a row), if I am not well or tired he will open car doors for me, he buys me special chocolate at times, will give me a back rub or massage at times when I am unwell or stressed, will cook a beautiful meal for me as a special treat, and doesn't let a day pass without telling me several times a day how much I mean to him, how much he loves me, and how much he knows we were meant to be together...then of course there is that smile of his which I think is one of the most romantic things he does because it seems there is one he has just for me. Then there are the million and one kisses and hugs I get daily, and something else I can't mention but leaves no doubt in my mind as to how he feels.

What romantic gestures do you like to receive, regardless of whether you are PYL or a pyl?

All of the above and also a good SM session.

Catalina

 

[JMohegan]

So what in vanilla terms do you see as 'romantic?

It's romantic if it makes her girlfriends say: "Ohhh, that's sooooo sweeeet!" and makes some of your guy friends roll their eyes in mock or genuine disgust.

It's romantic if it takes effort, reflects familiarity with the recipient as an individual, involves an accurate understanding of the recipient's personal preferences, and demonstrates genuine affection, love, or interest in developing the same.

It's *not* romantic if it is expected, requested, or something commonly done.


That's my answer to your question, Shy. How the heck have you been?

 

[Jeanx2storm]

great thread

wow- this is great, I think its that building up of tension... desire..., "the romancing", so it may be different in each moment, in fact its better if it grows and changes with the relationship... it can be a word... or touch or a picture or...

 

[tzigane]

How to define romance...
I've had SOs who brought me flowers and candies and jewelry before. Most of them did it because they thought it was expected of them and didn't put much, if any, thought into it - one of them even let his mother pick out the jewelry. That's not romantic, even if it is the media's definition.
T., on the other hand...he does those things too. But he puts thought into them. The first date we had, he cooked dinner for me and lit candles and gave me the rose he'd bought for the table. He made jewelry for me for Valentine's Day and my birthday last year; this year, he spent a long time looking for and far too much of his money on a beautiful vintage bracelet. I am terribly picky about jewelry - no one else in my entire life has been able to pick out pieces I've liked - but I love every piece he's given me.
And it's not even those things that I think are most romantic. It's the coming up behind me and putting his arms around me and kissing the back of my neck while I'm doing something mundane in the kitchen (damn, that turns me on), or the way he pushes my hair out of my eyes. It's the way he looks at me across the breakfast table. It's his willingness to experiment and to push my limits, to make me try new things.
And, of course, the way he holds me down, the way he looks tied up, and how amazingly good he is in bed!

 

[Toa_lin]

Simply, i think romance is inherant in the feeling of love. Plain and simple, and however you choose to show your SO how much you love them. Each person is different, so each person show's romance differently.

 

[minx1]

I am sure I find romance in the things that he wouldn't expect me to. For me romance isn't in a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates, its usually something he says or does just for me because he knows it will make make smile. It could be as simple as a text message out of the blue to tell me he loves me and is thinking about me

 

[liberatedslave]

I travelled to see my Sir on Monday. I was fine when I left the house. I spent 3 and a half hours on trains and an hour crossing London on the tube in between. By the time I got to him (dragging my case in heeled boots, stockings, suspenders and a short skirt no less) I had a sore throat. We went for a meal in one of out favourite restaurants and had a wonderful night together.

Then I woke up with the mother of all sore throats, a blocked nose and a screaming headache.

I did not leave his bed tuesday or wednesday except to use the bathroom (which he cleaned for me beforehand cause he's not much of a homemaker and it was a little gross. 3 guys sharing 1 bathroom He cooked for us and made me hot drinks and generally fussed around me while I lay in bed surrounded with paracetamol and tissues. Not the way I was planning to spend my time with him. I got lots of hugs and kisses even though I was a snotty mess. Then, this morning, just when I'm feeling a little better and he's starting to feel like shit with the same thing, I have to travel home, as planned. I feel so bad that I can't fuss over him too. You know what he said?

"I look forward to every second I spend with you and if I can be there to take care of you, fine. I don't care if you're snotty and sick or not. You're always gorgeous to me."

Isn't he just fucking wonderful?

*swoons*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I travelled to see my Sir on Monday. I was fine when I left the house. I spent 3 and a half hours on trains and an hour crossing London on the tube in between. By the time I got to him (dragging my case in heeled boots, stockings, suspenders and a short skirt no less) I had a sore throat. We went for a meal in one of out favourite restaurants and had a wonderful night together.

Then I woke up with the mother of all sore throats, a blocked nose and a screaming headache.

I did not leave his bed tuesday or wednesday except to use the bathroom (which he cleaned for me beforehand cause he's not much of a homemaker and it was a little gross. 3 guys sharing 1 bathroom He cooked for us and made me hot drinks and generally fussed around me while I lay in bed surrounded with paracetamol and tissues. Not the way I was planning to spend my time with him. I got lots of hugs and kisses even though I was a snotty mess. Then, this morning, just when I'm feeling a little better and he's starting to feel like shit with the same thing, I have to travel home, as planned. I feel so bad that I can't fuss over him too. You know what he said?

"I look forward to every second I spend with you and if I can be there to take care of you, fine. I don't care if you're snotty and sick or not. You're always gorgeous to me."

Isn't he just fucking wonderful?

*swoons*

this brought a smile to my face. how wonderful of Him to say that. that's the little things i was talking about that are 'romantic' to me. and i would feel the same way about not being able to take care of Master, especially if i had given Him the illness..LOL....glad to know you are feeling better and i hope your Sir gets better soon......