Ok then, what about a rally car with the co driver's life in the hands of the driver? Should the driver not accept someone in the passenger seat? Or indeed any passenger, riding pillion on a motor bike? Motor Cycling on public roads is far more dangerous than bondage. In the UK several hundred motor cyclists die every year. I just don't see ordinary bondage as very dangerous as long as you don't do anything deliberately stupid e.g. Leaving someone gagged and/or hooded.
Safe and sustainable bondage positions?
- Thread starter aluzion
- Start date
Thanks for the answer!
JaneRamsey
Really Experienced
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- Jun 28, 2018
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Maybe you can have your Cell phone to call the neighbor to come get you out if it gets too much....... I dunno.....I tend to agree, completely unsupervised for that long sounds like a bad idea.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
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- Apr 17, 2002
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- 11,416
Bad idea. The risk far out weighs any benefit, even though you might not agree.
The phrase Safe, Sane and Consensual is there for a reason. And sure, you should take all three into consideration, but safety comes first. No matter how much you desire to do something, your sexual desire can NEVER overpower safety.
What can go wrong? No matter how low the possibility is, you still have to assume even that can go wrong, if you leave someone bound and unsupervised.
Personally, I have something called Murphy's Law that follows me around. Some people just call it bad luck, but I tend to think it is someone somewhere who gets a thrill out of messing with my life. Mostly it's just saying to yourself, "anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
I have the ability to overpower this bad luck by not giving it a chance. But, I end up checking things over and over and going beyond the norm to make sure things are going to go as planned. Anything I don't check or think through is what's going to go wrong. I would NEVER think of leaving someone helpless for even a short time.
Once you decide something is safe, you look at the sanity of it. Sometimes, just looking at the safety of something will also show you if it's sane or not. They can go hand in hand. Like with me, I would consider it insane to leave someone helpless and alone.
You also should never allow your desires to overpower the sanity of something. Sexual desire is a strong feeling. But no matter how strong it may be, we need to think with a clear head, when deciding on how sane something is. Sure, you might feel like you're willing to take that chance, because of the sexual thrill that you'll get, but that's letting your desires overpower your common sense.
When the human body is bound for long periods of time, it can have muscle twitches. We don't notice these things when we're free to move around, because those muscles aren't stagnate like they are when you're bound.
These twitches can develop into contractions and full blown charlie horses. Not being able to release a leg or an arm to deal with that charlie horse is quite painful and it can become serious.
Bodily functions tend to happen at the least expected moment. Some people can have the water turned on and they have to pee. Others just have to have the suggestion for it to be necessary. And with others, just certain movements can cause it. Now, when it comes to pee, I guess your sub could just pee on herself, if it becomes necessary, but there are other bodily functions that aren't as easy to clean up.
And a stomach ache or other sickness has already been mentioned. How often does someone know when they are going to get the flu, until they actually have it? I think you might get chills or something before, but the whole process only takes a short time before you know it's the flu.
If you happen to be the only one in the room and you are bound, just how long can you deal with it before you really just want to curl up in a warm bed? Oh, but you might have several hours yet, before that can happen. And are you still thinking about your sexual desires at that point?
OK, I've suggested a few things that may never happen. And a few of them are even on the remote list for some people. But, most of us have the luxury of living out our sexual fantasies. and when we engage in the kinky things we enjoy, there are things we should always think about first.
We're all adults here and other adults who came before us created rules to follow, when playing our sexual games. Safe, Sane and Consensual is pretty basic, but it's easy to understand. We've seen the bad things happen. We know not to let things be left to chance. That Murphy guy is always there, so, being an adult, I take the proper steps so I'm sure my partner is safe. Are you an adult, too?
The phrase Safe, Sane and Consensual is there for a reason. And sure, you should take all three into consideration, but safety comes first. No matter how much you desire to do something, your sexual desire can NEVER overpower safety.
What can go wrong? No matter how low the possibility is, you still have to assume even that can go wrong, if you leave someone bound and unsupervised.
Personally, I have something called Murphy's Law that follows me around. Some people just call it bad luck, but I tend to think it is someone somewhere who gets a thrill out of messing with my life. Mostly it's just saying to yourself, "anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
I have the ability to overpower this bad luck by not giving it a chance. But, I end up checking things over and over and going beyond the norm to make sure things are going to go as planned. Anything I don't check or think through is what's going to go wrong. I would NEVER think of leaving someone helpless for even a short time.
Once you decide something is safe, you look at the sanity of it. Sometimes, just looking at the safety of something will also show you if it's sane or not. They can go hand in hand. Like with me, I would consider it insane to leave someone helpless and alone.
You also should never allow your desires to overpower the sanity of something. Sexual desire is a strong feeling. But no matter how strong it may be, we need to think with a clear head, when deciding on how sane something is. Sure, you might feel like you're willing to take that chance, because of the sexual thrill that you'll get, but that's letting your desires overpower your common sense.
When the human body is bound for long periods of time, it can have muscle twitches. We don't notice these things when we're free to move around, because those muscles aren't stagnate like they are when you're bound.
These twitches can develop into contractions and full blown charlie horses. Not being able to release a leg or an arm to deal with that charlie horse is quite painful and it can become serious.
Bodily functions tend to happen at the least expected moment. Some people can have the water turned on and they have to pee. Others just have to have the suggestion for it to be necessary. And with others, just certain movements can cause it. Now, when it comes to pee, I guess your sub could just pee on herself, if it becomes necessary, but there are other bodily functions that aren't as easy to clean up.
And a stomach ache or other sickness has already been mentioned. How often does someone know when they are going to get the flu, until they actually have it? I think you might get chills or something before, but the whole process only takes a short time before you know it's the flu.
If you happen to be the only one in the room and you are bound, just how long can you deal with it before you really just want to curl up in a warm bed? Oh, but you might have several hours yet, before that can happen. And are you still thinking about your sexual desires at that point?
OK, I've suggested a few things that may never happen. And a few of them are even on the remote list for some people. But, most of us have the luxury of living out our sexual fantasies. and when we engage in the kinky things we enjoy, there are things we should always think about first.
We're all adults here and other adults who came before us created rules to follow, when playing our sexual games. Safe, Sane and Consensual is pretty basic, but it's easy to understand. We've seen the bad things happen. We know not to let things be left to chance. That Murphy guy is always there, so, being an adult, I take the proper steps so I'm sure my partner is safe. Are you an adult, too?
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Posts
- 17,838
FWIW, I lean towards RACK rather than SSC - IMHO consenting adults get to decide what risks they're comfortable taking, even if those aren't risks that I would accept for myself. But understanding of those risks is important...
By what measure?
Transport risk is usually measured in terms of "deaths per billion person-miles travelled", which obviously isn't applicable to bondage. This is like saying "is a tuba louder than an elephant is tall?"
About the only way that one might compare the two is in terms of deaths per person-hour involved in the activity. This is a poor measure, since it effectively says that the more time your bike spends stopped in traffic, the "safer" it becomes... but even if we ignore that limitation, I'm not aware of any data on how many hours people spend in bondage activities each year.
The other complication here is that "bondage" covers a huge range of different things, each with their own risks. To the extent that bondage is a "safe" activity, it's probably because most of us are following rules like "don't leave a helpless person alone". If you're not following those rules, then your risks might be very different.
It's kinda like saying "air travel is very safe, so there's no need to worry about pilot training and safety checks" - no, air travel is only safe because people worry about those things.
Note also that when somebody dies in the course of a BDSM activity - even if it's a completely random heart attack that just happened to coincide with that play - then there is a risk of unpleasant legal consequences for the survivor, quite unlike the risks involved when somebody has a heart attack in your car. That might not be fair, but it's how the world is.
Leaving somebody unattended with no way to free themselves is not "ordinary bondage". Every BDSM guide I've ever read has made some strong recommendations on that point.
* * * * *
One compromise I've seen for people who want to do stuff like self-bondage while managing risk is to provide an escape option that's unpleasant to use. For example, the key is placed in a bottle full of oil, and can only be accessed by tipping the oil out onto the carpet.
By what measure?
Transport risk is usually measured in terms of "deaths per billion person-miles travelled", which obviously isn't applicable to bondage. This is like saying "is a tuba louder than an elephant is tall?"
About the only way that one might compare the two is in terms of deaths per person-hour involved in the activity. This is a poor measure, since it effectively says that the more time your bike spends stopped in traffic, the "safer" it becomes... but even if we ignore that limitation, I'm not aware of any data on how many hours people spend in bondage activities each year.
The other complication here is that "bondage" covers a huge range of different things, each with their own risks. To the extent that bondage is a "safe" activity, it's probably because most of us are following rules like "don't leave a helpless person alone". If you're not following those rules, then your risks might be very different.
It's kinda like saying "air travel is very safe, so there's no need to worry about pilot training and safety checks" - no, air travel is only safe because people worry about those things.
Note also that when somebody dies in the course of a BDSM activity - even if it's a completely random heart attack that just happened to coincide with that play - then there is a risk of unpleasant legal consequences for the survivor, quite unlike the risks involved when somebody has a heart attack in your car. That might not be fair, but it's how the world is.
Leaving somebody unattended with no way to free themselves is not "ordinary bondage". Every BDSM guide I've ever read has made some strong recommendations on that point.
* * * * *
One compromise I've seen for people who want to do stuff like self-bondage while managing risk is to provide an escape option that's unpleasant to use. For example, the key is placed in a bottle full of oil, and can only be accessed by tipping the oil out onto the carpet.
I once read a story here in which the sub was tied up with crepe paper and told not to move (have the feeling it may have been one of yours DVS?) while their dom went out. Would work well in real life as it’s easy to escape from in an emergency but will still let a dom know if they’ve been disobeyed...
Miles Long
Fuck victoriously!
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- Oct 21, 2005
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"is a tuba louder than an elephant is tall?"
I love Bramblethorn!
I love Bramblethorn!
ouchfeelsgood
Sane pervert
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- Nov 12, 2007
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- 23,020
Another consideration which makes unattended bondage a bad idea is the risk of a fire starting on the premises (possibly from a short circuit or other source), with no possible escape for the bound person. While a very small possibility, the consequences could be fatal should it happen. Certainly not worth the risk.
