Say What You Need to Say II

[AtramentousRex]

I want to believe that all the pain and sadness of love and loss, has a reason. That I played a small part in the others I love finding happiness, even if I do end up alone. I have to have faith that this was all worth something.

 

[AtramentousRex]

The message is always about healing and seeking happiness. I try my hardest to find a way to get better. These are not stories, they are my life and the real things that happen to me. The events I talk about in this thread, the heart attack, all of it happened just a few months ago. In the course of those events I also had an ongoing love affair that failed in real life. I also had a relationship on Lit that failed just recently. I've been trying to get assistance irl, but everything keeps falling through. I haven't wanted to lie about anything, so its been sad and depressing. What I can do is stop sharing. Sorry.

 

[Littlewolf8258]

The message is always about healing and seeking happiness. I try my hardest to find a way to get better. These are not stories, they are my life and the real things that happen to me. The events I talk about in this thread, the heart attack, all of it happened just a few months ago. In the course of those events I also had an ongoing love affair that failed in real life. I also had a relationship on Lit that failed just recently. I've been trying to get assistance irl, but everything keeps falling through. I haven't wanted to lie about anything, so its been sad and depressing. What I can do is stop sharing. Sorry.

Please don’t stop sharing. Your posts are real and while some may be looking to escape reality here, there are others who will find comfort in the fact that someone is going through something similar. The most important thing you can do in this world is be yourself. You never know who that might impact, because if someone else who is struggling can see your honesty and the fact that you haven’t given up, it may inspire them to keep going too.

 

[AtramentousRex]

 

[justanormaldude87]

I just want her to love me like she used too and then maybe the sex can return to its normal state.

 

[AtramentousRex]

Seems as if AI is taking over all of the internet and making unilateral decisions about the content that is allowed to exist. Images, comments and all sorts of data has been erased all across all forms of social media. That isn't worrisome at all.

 

[BellaAveena]

I am not okay. I typed that and had to blink at the stubborn stupidity it takes to need to form that thought. How the fuck could I be?

A lot of ppeople have been treating my recent experiences very casually, so I fell into the same habit. But I just lived through some shit that most people need therapy for.

So of course I am not okay. Physically, psychologically. Even spiritually, Im struggling. Today was a very hard day. I felt like I was slipping out into the darkness, like drifting into space, further and further away from people.

I still feel it at the edges, even with the help of the THC. If I hadn't vaped, I

I can relate on the deepest of levels. And that kinda sucks to have to say but it’s true. Sucks for you to have to say it and for me to easily relate.
Hug

 

[AtramentousRex]

I can relate on the deepest of levels. And that kinda sucks to have to say but it’s true. Sucks for you to have to say it and for me to easily relate.
Hug

Im sorry that you can relate. I wish nobody ever had those kinds of experiences.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I'm tired of the assumption that older means wiser. I don't usually knock people, but not all men age well..

Lol, us old people get less tolerant that's for sure.
Older in many cases means life experience but some of us went to the school of hard knocks and got that wisdom earlier in life but believe me at 64 I am still learning how to navigate life because the world is changing at warp speed

 

[AtramentousRex]

It has been a very tough year. I lost a lot, made a lot of mistakes, did some bad things, gained people I came to care about very much and lost them all. I'm sad because people I cared about, pretty much hate me now. Its an old pattern for me.
But I think at least I'm learning some things.

Everything, no matter how dark, pathetic, or disgusting, has the right to try to live.

Despite all of my delusions of grandeur, I am absolutely boring and ordinary in every way. I've never been special.

I have been lucky enough to know some amazing, extraordinary people. Maybe those delusions allowed me to do that, to talk to those kind folks who pretended to kneel down to my level for a little while. Now I just have to stop pretending that I was ever or could ever be one of them. Time to grow up and know my place.

 

[VamPal1]

I'm sick of Trump. I'm sick of the people who still support him and refuse to see what he is and what he's doing.

 

[AtramentousRex]

Well, its time for another insane ramble from a maniac who wanders. Lets talk about grace. Have you ever looked up the definition of the word? In Webster's 1828 dictionary, "grace" is primarily defined as the free, unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits humans receive from Him. As a Noun, it means - A simple elegance or refinement of movement. Take a moment and sit with that.

Have you ever known someone with uncommon grace? Whether the divine kind, or the noun. Someone who walks in a path lighted by the grace of some light from another realm. Who dances through the world, lighting up the darkness. Someone who walks into a room and somehow everybody there notices them. They do it on the internet, too.

It's a subtle thing, like a beautiful smile. But just like the smile, it is a very real thing, with a palpable effect on the world. Like a force of nature, it can change. It catalyses those who are touched by it, that kind of grace. People who have it are remembered long after they leave. Their presence has an echo that takes a long time to fade.

Do you ever wonder if maybe you are like that, to other people? To someone who knows you, right now, you walk in a halo. You are the source of light in their darkness. The brightest spot in a whole world. Maybe its your partner, or your child, your sibling or parent. Your best friend. Maybe its the mailman. Or your dog. It might be some creepy loner.

If you look at things from the right perspective, maybe we all have a measure of that Grace. We just don't see it in ourselves. It takes seeing yourself through another's eyes, to understand. Or perhaps taking a far enough step to see the big picture. How all the threads in the tapestry interweave with one another.

Each light, no matter how small, or how apart from others, touches the next light. which touches two more and then ten, twenty. All the little lights touch each other and create a glow in the night. And that is what we are. Fireflies in the dark, attracted to one another's light. We always have been, still are, and forever will be. Go in peace my friends.

*flutters away into the shadows*

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Well, its time for another insane ramble from a maniac who wanders. Lets talk about grace. Have you ever looked up the definition of the word? In Webster's 1828 dictionary, "grace" is primarily defined as the free, unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits humans receive from Him. As a Noun, it means - A simple elegance or refinement of movement. Take a moment and sit with that.

Have you ever known someone with uncommon grace? Whether the divine kind, or the noun. Someone who walks in a path lighted by the grace of some light from another realm. Who dances through the world, lighting up the darkness. Someone who walks into a room and somehow everybody there notices them. They do it on the internet, too.

It's a subtle thing, like a beautiful smile. But just like the smile, it is a very real thing, with a palpable effect on the world. Like a force of nature, it can change. It catalyses those who are touched by it, that kind of grace. People who have it are remembered long after they leave. Their presence has an echo that takes a long time to fade.

Do you ever wonder if maybe you are like that, to other people? To someone who knows you, right now, you walk in a halo. You are the source of light in their darkness. The brightest spot in a whole world. Maybe its your partner, or your child, your sibling or parent. Your best friend. Maybe its the mailman. Or your dog. It might be some creepy loner.

If you look at things from the right perspective, maybe we all have a measure of that Grace. We just don't see it in ourselves. It takes seeing yourself through another's eyes, to understand. Or perhaps taking a far enough step to see the big picture. How all the threads in the tapestry interweave with one another.

Each light, no matter how small, or how apart from others, touches the next light. which touches two more and then ten, twenty. All the little lights touch each other and create a glow in the night. And that is what we are. Fireflies in the dark, attracted to one another's light. We always have been, still are, and forever will be. Go in peace my friends.

*flutters away into the shadows*

This was beautiful.

 

[latecomer91364]

I used to be here every day, and now that I come back to visit, everything that used to be easy, like posting self-made memes is impossible. Even asking the moderators for advice, nothing works.

Fortunately, I'm only visiting.

 

[AtramentousRex]

I know we are not supposed to talk about anything serious or negative, or real. But I want to talk about the virtual impossibility of finding work in this economy. Tell me about your experiences and I'll talk about mine. I don't want this to be a fight, so this is a discussion of JUST YOUR EXPERIENCES. No mocking or ridiculing.

To start, I'll admit that I've always struggled to get and keep jobs. The longest I ever lasted was 6 years working for a security company. Most places its a couple years. I went to college but do not have a degree, just debt.
Mostly I worked security, but I've also worked in health care and customer service/tech support.

Due to personal events, I went from living and working in a major city, to a very rural, economically dead area. It was dead 20 years ago and still is. But its also the only place I had to go. Its this or give up and live in my car. So the only jobs right now here, are manufacturing jobs. I have no experience or certifications for anything in these production jobs.

I'm trying everything, all fast food, all retail. I had a job at a gas station for a month and then that ended. I've tried to use an app called Varyable, but when I put in bids for jobs, I don't get accepted. I'm pretty sure the problem is too many people are bidding for the same small number of jobs. Ive gotten dodged by fast food hiring managers.

It makes me wonder if anyone is actually hiring. Maybe they just need to say they are looking to avoid paying back COVID loans? Or perhaps the situation is so tenuous that they are waiting and avoiding any decisions.
What do you think?

 

[SpicyBean99]

There was a thread once where people could say the things they were holding back. Where it did not need to be pretty, or fun or sexy all the time.

Sometimes the real problems and feelings bleed through despite the stigma against letting it happen. Because even though everyone comes here to flirt and laugh and get off, we are all human and sometimes we just need to be real.

In honor of that thread and the ongoing need for there to be something genuine and heartfelt in this peculiar place, I decided to start another.

Say it, Lit. Even if it hurts to say it, or makes you unpopular.

There was a thread once where people could say the things they were holding back. Where it did not need to be pretty, or fun or sexy all the time.

Sometimes the real problems and feelings bleed through despite the stigma against letting it happen. Because even though everyone comes here to flirt and laugh and get off, we are all human and sometimes we just need to be real.

In honor of that thread and the ongoing need for there to be something genuine and heartfelt in this peculiar place, I decided to start another.

Say it, Lit. Even if it hurts to say it, or makes you unpopular.

Meh. I say many “unpopular” things on lit so one more won’t hurt.

Engagement on picture threads, run by women,
have become almost…entirely transactional.
Attention is largely exchanged for visual stimulation, and the more explicit the content, the more reliably it performs. Not exactly surprising in a space like this but from what I’ve noticed most interactions within singular owned threads, that ask for conversation, thought, or curiosity tends to struggle unless paired with something immediately consumable and/or sexual.

There used to be room here for flirtation and conversation, eroticism and exchange. Maybe there still is and it’s something I’m doing wrong but it really does feel as though words alone rarely earn attention (the Authors Hangout would maybe suit me better but I feel that they’re all rather judgemental there of those who have run pictures threads).

I’m not anti nude images, obviously, they’re literally the point of the AM pics threads, but I am ?INCREDIBLY resistant to the idea that offering your body should be the price of interesting conversation. If engagement only follows nudity, then curiosity, humour, and intellect quietly become background noise.

Saying this out loud I think makes this sad, one dimensional dynamic visible… and once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.

Peace out

 

[MindYaBitness]

Meh. I say many “unpopular” things on lit so one more won’t hurt.

Engagement on picture threads, run by women,
have become almost…entirely transactional.
Attention is largely exchanged for visual stimulation, and the more explicit the content, the more reliably it performs. Not exactly surprising in a space like this but from what I’ve noticed most interactions within singular owned threads, that ask for conversation, thought, or curiosity tends to struggle unless paired with something immediately consumable and/or sexual.

There used to be room here for flirtation and conversation, eroticism and exchange. Maybe there still is and it’s something I’m doing wrong but it really does feel as though words alone rarely earn attention (the Authors Hangout would maybe suit me better but I feel that they’re all rather judgemental there of those who have run pictures threads).

I’m not anti nude images, obviously, they’re literally the point of the AM pics threads, but I am ?INCREDIBLY resistant to the idea that offering your body should be the price of interesting conversation. If engagement only follows nudity, then curiosity, humour, and intellect quietly become background noise.

Saying this out loud I think makes this sad, one dimensional dynamic visible… and once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.

Peace out

There are a few threads, but you won't be in Am Pics. This is the place that I get that exhibitionist kink out of my system, but I'm not comfortable bearing it all, so my pics are pretty PG-13 compared to what you can find elsewhere here. There is the sense of entitlement, though. As though by sharing some, I should be required to share all. Or, that if they're giving charming conversation I somehow owe them a more explicit pic. Nope. Take it or leave it folks. I'm pretty firm with my boundaries.

In The Playground forum you'll find Cock Talk, or some of PLP's threads are a great place for conversation. Photog1rl has an aural thread where it's all voice notes, that can be fun. I miss the Sex & Shenanigans thread. It was flirty, funny & fast moving. It was always the first & last thread I checked on here. But, most of them have left Lit for another app once the site changed and the owners refused to communicate anything helpful. So, now I just float around the forums & find conversation where I can

Just remember, you don't owe anyone anything. Don't tolerate those users requiring a pay-to-play style of engagement.

 

[Jeanie99]

Why do I have to be sick and tired all the time? Why cant I have one fucking day where I dont hurt? Where my body isn't attacking itself and ruining my life.

 

[angelofthenorth]

Wanna get drunk and fool around?

 

[AtramentousRex]

I've always felt far too deeply, for people who do not feel anything of the kind in return. It happens too quickly and despite all the 3 month rules in the world, those feelings do not tend to fade. It doesn't happen that way with everyone, but with those I do really connect with, its very real to me. I know that does not mean it is real for anyone else.

When thoughts about how much I might love that person or even the notion that we might make each other happy, begins to waken, I have to keep it to myself and wait to let it die down. Like waves and tides. Because I know that whatever else may be true, my past has shown that I self destruct completely over the uncertainty of such feelings.

I completely cave in on myself and the madness takes control and I hurt myself badly in both emotional ways and sometimes physical ones. My core programming is fighting with something else...something soft and deep inside me, longing for the things I've never had and was taught that I do not deserve. Its very hard being my friend.

Just know how grateful I am to those strong and compassionate enough to try.

 

[Wandering_Sen]

Conventional wisdom says that misanthropy is a bad thing. Or at least a learned response to bad things. Personally, I find it refreshing to be honest with myself that I think we are all a bunch of wackjobs who have made a very big mess and can't agree on how to fix our existence. I do not hate humanity, I just am tired of faking niceties and pretending to care.

Still, life is worth the laughs and coffee is always a good thing. Cheers folks!

 

[Nightbird]

This fucking cold and the coughing all night sucks.. And I miss her, I should be over her by now by I still miss talking to her everyday.