Seeking very anxious woman for character insight

[dasgoodshit]

I feel like I should start every post with “I’m not trying to be argumentative”.

I do research too. But I either use Google, or I talk to friends who might help. I’m not questioning research, just the research method.

Anyway, I wish you luck with the story.

Em

I didn't think you were being argumentative.

 

[lovecraft68]

Chik Filet is the most mediocre chicken ever.

I'll die on that hill .

If that's how you feel, that's cool. But if-and I say if to make a point-you're saying that with the attitude of "It sucks cause the guy's..." that's the difference.

But that type needs to be careful because I heard a rumbling KFC's Sanders was racist so eat that at your own peril now.

Can't wait until the woke-and the wingers with their Bud light stupidity-have nothing left to eat or drink and die adhering to their phony principles.

Call me names, but if I like a brand I'll buy it no matter who says what or who they stick on their can unless of course its a literal criminal like Ezra Miller, that's a different story. Nice to see that movie bombed. Nice move James Gunn.

 

[lovecraft68]

Cool meme. Not sure what it has to do with me, but I do love me some Heath Ledger Joker.

Think Phoenix was better? I do, but also a very different movie.

 

[Djmac1031]

unless of course its a literal criminal like Ezra Miller, that's a different story. Nice to see that movie bombed. Nice move James Gunn.

I went to see it in spite of Miller; lots of other people worked on that movie besides him and I decided to give it a fair shot.

It sucked, of course.

 

[Djmac1031]

Think Phoenix was better? I do, but also a very different movie.

I enjoyed JPs take on it, sure. Like you said, VERY different movie of course.

 

[Euphony]

Anxiety can be a very serious and harmful medical condition, and isn't something to be treated lightly. It can be debilitating for someone who suffers it, and for those around them.

May I suggest you use Google, and read up on it.

What always confounds me on these I need a female to help me with X conditioned character (if we charitably assume honest intentions) is asked sample size.

There's some implied "intimacy of the experience" that will allow an author to tell a truer tale if, and a huge freaking IF, the two random internet strangers can achieve the level of intimacy necessary to co-understand and transfer the nature of X experience to the other.

Even if so, rare are others experiences of the same conditions but so similar AND how often does the affected have the ability to recognize the whole of their experience while they are IN it and later summarize it in a common vocabulary? Complicated doesn't begin to describe the task.

Maybe my research background makes me prone to seek academic, broader spectrum sources but it just makes so much more sense to me as to make me wonder what real probabilities of anything approaching useful to the discussions let alone penned fiction can actually come about?

I've written conditions I've not experienced and did so by researching to bordering on exhaustion of the topic (I'd be mortified if I did the opposite of positively representing those I hope to shine a light on) and prioritizing empathy and the universality of a human experience (as much as there can be)

When you can't speak from personal experience but must write on a subject, heavy research and all due diligence is a must and double down on your empathy. Put yourself back into similar uncomfortable spaces where you've resided in the hopes that maybe you'll tap a shared nerve.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Chik Filet is the most mediocre chicken ever.

I'll die on that hill .

As long as you die.

Chick-fil-A is the GOAT!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Please don't derail my thread with comments that have nothing to do with the original post, thank you.

You must knew that we've had like - four? - such posts in which guys asked women to volunteer to help them with some aspect of a story. That was in the last few months; it's become almost a trope (or a standing joke?) on AH. So far we haven't seen any women asking for a male point-of-view. (Am I correct, or did I miss one?)

It does seem more than a bit off. It's not just the gender issue. You're asking for a stranger to reveal her psychological issues to you (it doesn't matter that it might be under a user name.)

It's sort of analogous to asking: "I need somebody to describe their addiction struggles and stints in rehab so I can write about such things." You probably can find various such memoirs online or in print where people have decided to tell their stories publicly; in fact, I'm sure they exist. But that is quite different from what you're asking for.

 

[Djmac1031]

As long as you die.

Chick-fil-A is the GOAT!

Harsh.

*sad piano music as I slowly walk away*

 

[Euphony]

You must knew that we've had like - four? - such posts in which guys asked women to volunteer to help them with some aspect of a story.

If only four, he's had 2 of them. This and the bisexual one. 50%!

Further supporting my "is this a serious form of inquiry" doubts.

 

[Euphony]

Harsh.

*sad piano music as I slowly walk away*

She doesn't want you dead, just if it ever comes down to it, tie goes to the chicken.

Baring like a million bajillion things going completely against you, I think you'll live.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Harsh.

*sad piano music as I slowly walk away*

I've been waiting to use that comeback for a long time. You were, unfortunately, my first clean shot.

My heart goes out to you.

*Penny-whistle from Celine Dion's: My Heart Will Go On*

 

[Euphony]

Chick-fil-A is the GOAT!

I understand the fervor but once they started selling the sauces in quantity to the public, they lost their iron grip on me.

Oh they still siren song me, no doubt, but I have made better at home. (and yes, you have to source and use the MSG. Necessary evil if you want true Fil-A dom)

 

[Djmac1031]

I've been waiting to use that comeback for a long time. You were, unfortunately, my first clean shot.

My heart goes out to you.

*Penny-whistle from Celine Dion's: My Heart Will Go On*

It was a merciful kill, at least.

(Dammit. I just KNEW Celine Dion was gonna haunt me in the afterlife.)

 

[Djmac1031]

Baring like a million bajillion things going completely against you, I think you'll live.

Unless I eat too much processed chicken

 

[gunhilltrain]

It's tough dude. No joke, I've been trying to learn about it for almost ten years. It's just really hard for me to understand.

That's ok though, I'll table this thread and figure it out on my own, maybe in another ten years or so.

Are you sure you're not JohnSm123? I just told you what to do. If you go to YouTube and search for, say, "psych ward," you'll get many people telling you about their experiences with that. (Plus there are some historical documentaries too.) Just look for whatever condition or issue that concerns you. It won't take you ten years; you can get what you need in a couple of weeks, I bet. You want me to find more of this for you?

 

[Euphony]

Unless I eat too much processed chicken

Legitimately the fact I'm not already dead means you have nothing to worry about.

My Chick Fil a history is obscene for someone never employed by them.

 

[dasgoodshit]

Are you sure you're not JohnSm123? I just told you what to do. If you go to YouTube and search for, say, "psych ward," you'll get many people telling you about their experiences with that. (Plus there are some historical documentaries too.) Just look for whatever condition or issue that concerns you. It won't take you ten years; you can get what you need in a couple of weeks, I bet. You want me to find more of this for you?

correlation does not imply causation

it's like this bro, somebody can tell you all day what it's like to be x, y, z, but until you can say it back to them, you don't truly know.4

also, there are all kinds of different people in the world. if you assume that everyone is like you, then you've made a lot of mistakes in your life.

 

[Euphony]

until you can say it back to them, you don't truly know.

You realize even clinicians don't have this level of understanding you seek.

I doubt the fates would conspire you yo meet the fitting stranger on an anxiety forum let alone an erotica writers website that severely dilutes your pool.

To say nothing of how your post reads of seeking a certain unattainable perfection which is perfect procrastination fuel.

Gunhill is right and kinder than most, knowledge is out there and, even not measuring up to your idea of what is seemingly necessary, will go far in furthering your writers goals and, whatever *might* be lacking will make no appreciable difference on the final product.

Unlike obsessing over minutia which has killed more stories than suspect research ever has.

 

[Djmac1031]

I have a female character with uncontrollable anxiety. I need someone that is both, to review < 3k words for character mentality. Bonus points if you are into bondage. Feel free to PM me. Your help is much appreciated!

Look, I get it. This place can be snarky.

I still remember my early days coming in asking about the female orgasm experience for a story and getting hammered by forum members who believed I was simply trolling to get women to talk about sex stuff.

I wasn't. But after being here awhile, I understood why they may have thought so.

Because there tend to be a LOT of "I need a Woman to ____" posts around here.

And way too many of them asking for "private collaborations."

I think your honest best bet is simply Google articles online that talk about anxiety and what people of any gender experience with it.

I think that would go a lot further to improving your story than waiting around here for a response that, in all probability, won't come.

Good luck with it though.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I didn't think you were being argumentative.

I wish you were more in the majority!

Em

 

[dasgoodshit]

And way too many of them asking for "private collaborations."

Yeah, I just said they could PM me because a few people were being weird. I get it though. It's just that, years ago, when tackling a new project a work, I learned to say, "Let me say that back to you," and I would. In doing so, assumptions and misunderstandings that you have about the topic are revealed. Without that conversation, it is not possible to truly understand.

 

[gunhilltrain]

correlation does not imply causation

it's like this bro, somebody can tell you all day what it's like to be x, y, z, but until you can say it back to them, you don't truly know.4

also, there are all kinds of different people in the world. if you assume that everyone is like you, then you've made a lot of mistakes in your life.

Okay, so why are you asking this again? You started off with, "I have a female character with uncontrollable anxiety. I need someone that is both, to review < 3k words for character mentality. Bonus points if you are into bondage. Feel free to PM me. Your help is much appreciated!"

Then you get to: "it's like this bro, somebody can tell you all day what it's like to be x, y, z, but until you can say it back to them, you don't truly know."

So why did you ask in the first place? What is this "very anxious woman for character insight" going to tell you? I can't read your mind, but perhaps you are disappointed that one hasn't shown up yet? True, you did get a number of arguably snarky and irrelevant comments, but I could have predicted that. You want me to look at some other boards where such questions might be better received? You'll have to give me some time for that.

 

[dasgoodshit]

Okay, so why are you asking this again?

You've lost me. I don't know who you are. Bye.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You've lost me. I don't know who you are. Bye.

He’s trying to be helpful, hun.

He’s the sort of person who would go off and research it and give you a 2,000 word précis with citations.

Em