Self Spanking Gurus - Some Questions

[BarefootNikki]

Well, the time has arrived. For the first time in many years, my spanking life now matches my sex life, in that I find that I just have to get my toys out and do it myself.

So, after a few initial attempts that have gone not great, I have questions for anyone who does this, or helps others to.

One - I mean, it's an obvious one, but how do you not pull back on severity? I'm no wimp but I'm not even getting close.

Two - For me it's all about ritual as much as the whacking. Lines, soaping, essays, how to create that setting yourself?

Three - Consistency. Yeah, I'm just not gonna wallop myself with that today. Too easy. How to avoid avoidance?

Four - Cane. How and how?


So, yeah. Any help appreciated.

 

[Scooter58]

Thank you for starting this thread. I have some of the same questions and would be interested in hearing other’s perspectives.

 

[RogerThat208]

Great topic. I appreciate both the conundrum and your sincerity in trying to sort it out.

I think it starts with considering why you're doing it, and then defining some structure and accountability around that.

Consider why you need it, and why you're doing it. What's your motivation for willingly punishing yourself?

Begin with the end in mind. What are the specific objectives of your punishment? E.g. To administer 50 half-hearted strokes with your bare hand, or receive a dozen severe swats with a wooden bath brush. Or maybe something like "spank myself with my paddle until I start crying real tears, and then give myself 10 more good swats."

To whom are you accountable for successfully administering your punishment on time, and to the degree expected? To yourself? To someone else? Be quite specific about this, even if you choose to only be accountable to yourself.

If you fail to meet expectations and/or objectives for the punishment, whether set by yourself or someone else, you should expect in advance to receive appropriately meaningful and motivational consequences in return.

Pick some experiences or things, positive or negative, that actually mean something to you. Things that you desire or detest so much that you'd rather successfully administer and endure the punishment rather than give them up (the good things) or perform them (the unpleasant things.)

For example, "If I skip my scheduled discipline or fail to administer it properly, then I must give up coffee (or alcohol or weed or whatever) for the next week before permitting myself to try again." Stuff like that.

It's unclear how sexual arousal and release plays into your specific kink, because you haven't said. But in general I'd suggest using sexual arousal, release, or denial as motivators to help keep you focused and enthusiastically motivated. Your Dom/Domme, if you had one, wouldn't reward your laziness and/or poor performance with generous sexual favors or privileges, so it seems silly for you to cheat and award them to yourself either.

You mentioned the discipline of writing lines and essays etc. in your post. Everything I wrote above is a great opportunity for you to exercise your submissive mental muscle to that end. I.e. write it down, do it, review the results, and then enjoy the rewards or suffer the consequences. Rinse, lather, and repeat as necessary.

In the end though, if you're not capable of holding yourself accountable to your own detailed and documented objectives, then this is probably a futile exercise for solo play.

Just my three cents... (because inflation, lol.)

 

[Scooter58]

I bought a leather flogger with longer tails in the hopes that I could flick it backwards over my shoulders and it would at least reach my lower back. I found out that I needed one that was even longer AND that the width of the tails on the one I bought were too wide and didn’t land with enough “sting”.
The search continues…

 

[Mustang61]

I had lover who loved to be spank, no paddle, but my boots with treads.... NUDE over my lap, then he'd nurse and also wanted to be peed on. Younger than me... It was an experience

 

[PleasureDaddy]

I find some items work better than others. And it can be extra sensual if being told what to do. The obedience adds to the experience. Wooden spoons, rulers, a looped belt, rubber spatula for pussy spanking, and dowel rods for thighs if feeling like enjoying a sharp mark..