Seriously Paranoid About...

[Netzach]

NOT getting old and not being able to eat anything normal.

 

[neonflux]

on the macro-level:
global warming
government intrusion
the possibility of wwIII should the U.S. decide to bomb Iran
the possibility of another "great depression" considering the U.S.'s current level of debt under the bush administration

gee, am I a paranoid grrl or what?

on a more personal note:
not growing old (wrinkles can be sexy) but becoming frail and dependent once I do so
related fear - osteoporosis
never being able to retire
not getting paid by clients in a timely way
my debt (this last is my most immediate concern/fear right now as a number of big clients are late in paying me and I still haven't received the very teeny inheritance that i was supposed to receive by April and that would have provided me with some breathing room.)

OK, scratch the last comment - biggest fear? my lack of money management skills, something I'm trying to change right now.

 

[Etoile]

Whether or not I remembered to take my meds that day, or the night before.

Right now the handful of meds I take barely controls my disease, so if I miss a single dose, I am going to be in hell for the next 24-36 hours.

 

[Netzach]

Whether or not I remembered to take my meds that day, or the night before.

Right now the handful of meds I take barely controls my disease, so if I miss a single dose, I am going to be in hell for the next 24-36 hours.

I am paranoid about M forgetting his adderol.

Unfortunately, the very nature of the PROBLEM means he often forgets his adderol....

 

[Etoile]

I am paranoid about M forgetting his adderol.

Unfortunately, the very nature of the PROBLEM means he often forgets his adderol....

That's one of mine. I can function okay if I miss my Strattera for a day, but any longer than that and I get a little unbearable (for others!).

 

[catalina_francisco]

Traffic stops....

Right before I left the country, I got pulled over at {Of all things} a construction stop.. Since I was less than a week away from being out of the country for over six months, I had not been attentive to what was expiring...

*sigh*

It still gives me a twinge when I'm driving..

Doesn't help that my I see VERY well in the dark... So the damned blue lights really fuck with my vision...


Oh...It cost me a bit over $1500 when I got back, to straighten things back out and drive again.

Hmmm, though I have never had a fine or parking ticket or anything like it, I admit I break out in a sweat if I see a traffic stop ahead....maybe I was in trouble in a past life.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I share Catalina's concern -- it is one of the reasons that I took so long to make my first post here.

Frankly, I try to avoid using Google unless it is the absolute last way to find something. They never delete anything -- and since they're checking the words in gmail to match ad -- try to stay very far away from that.

It is not so much that I worry about my 'kink' coming out but hey, I have a paper shredder for every unsolicited piece of financial junk mail that comes into the house. Did you know that every one of those pre-approved credit card and mortgage re-financing notes has been credit checked? I've put a block on it with the credit rating agencies here in the US because even more than being 'outed' identity theft is a big concern.

Even if it doesn't end up costing you much in terms of lost money it will cost you big time in the hours necessary to get your records cleaned up so that you can 'do business' again.

I figure every email is basically a post card so you just have to use some discretion and be a little careful.

On the other hand, we can't live in the modern work without it so I have all the virus / spam / whatever protection I can think of and do whatever else I can think of to make my 'stuff' just a bit harder than average to get to. I figure that most misfits will take the path of least resistance. If they have to work at getting my information they're first choice will be to move on to the next person who hasn't thrown up some barriers.

Damn, I can't even be blissful in ignorance because being slave to the one I am, with talents which earn his company huge bucks, I know there is nothing that is inpenetrable in cyberspace, nor is it easy to permanently remove anything so it cannot be retraced with the right equipment and knowledge. I swear, I try not to think how much invasion we have into our personal/private lives because the reality is privacy is a thing of the past. I am even becoming paranoid about using public toilets in popular public spaces because I know the unthinkable has begun, and some of those are having cameras installed (not the pervy variety of the porn type, but surveliiance type). It is a sad world we live in when we can't even pee without it being observed and recorded.

Catalina

 

[zuzub]

Crossing the border. For some reason, every time I go through Customs I feel like I have a mobile Meth lab in my trunk.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ever since 9/11 I'm afraid to be away from my kids. I have nightmares about being in a building that's been hit by a bomb, and being able to hear my kids but not get to them. The entire time I was in San Francisco I was praying that we didn't get bombed. I won't go into the drugs it took to get me ON the plane.

It is a sad reality. I am not amazed the women in Iraq, Iran etc., are living on anti-depressants to deal with the stress. How they live with their reality year in and year out I have no idea....my hat is off to them for their strength in keeping going and trying to protect their children.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

but where could they get that from?

My paranoia - good ol garden variety hypochondria.

LOL, I have a fascination with health related things and read voraciously when the chance arises. My mother has always insisted she has everything we have been diagnosed with throughout our lives so that sort of helped me stop myself when I found myself looking at whether I had the symptoms of whatever the latest thing was I read about. It is difficult not to thought at times.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

My paranoias:

Walking down stone or concrete steps
Germs - particularly bathrooms
Insects crawling on or in me while I sleep
Locking my doors (did I remember or not? That's a nightly ritual)
Turning off the stove, coffee pot, unplugging toasters, hairdryers when I leave the house
People not washing their hands (I'm in business and HATE shaking hands)
Rotting food (Is it expired or not? The sheer volume of food I've thrown out is just wrong but I'm paranoid it will make me sick)
Loosing my teeth = insane dental hygiene rituals
Eating in restaurants or cafeterias or other people's houses - Cleanness of silverware, plates, wait staff, food prep
Insects or stray animals being in my house

I could go on, but it already clear I'm a little bit of a loon.

Oh I am with you on the germ phobia thing....I have it relatively under control, but I have noticed since moving to NL it has been harder to do so because what passes here in public food retailing and catering would never get past the health and safety inspectors in Oz. I am not as bad as I was when I first came here, but it is still a concern at times. The turning things off and rechecking locked doors is also an issue for me. I have been known to get almost to the shops and drive back home to check the door is closed when I know it will be.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

All the time, that and laws that seem to be tighting on peoples freedoms, plus the grocey store loyalty cards, I still can not figure out why they/we need them. The massive amount of credit, and refi offer that are pre-approved I get in the mail, which I never ask for, plus the call for the same, even thou I am on the national do not call list, (I was wary to sign up for that) the military style weapons that alot of police officers are carry... I could go on.

It is a problem. I also can't figure out why they need to record what I buy at the supermarket and keep it on file. If it was that they kept record of what was sold but not to who I could justify it as a means of making sure they cater to the customer demand, but to actually record what each customer buys and file it under their name just is beyond me.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'm afraid of the world (as I know it) ending. Lately I walk through the grocery store and realize how amazing it is to have all this stuff at my finger tips. We don't even think twice about it. Abundance R Us. What will happen if resources aren't so easily come by?

Is one of the reasons I strongly support controlling birth rates, working to be environmentally aware, preserving resources and not abusing what is available, limiting packaging, and most of all, I would love to be self sufficient but that is a dream here. Still I spend a lot of time each week thinking of how I can cut back further, save more in terms of using of resources, powere etc., and am addicted to any programs which show how people are incorporating new ideas into becoming self sufficient in any way. At the moment I am driving everyone in the house nuts by switching off everything that is on stand by and not being used....all but a couple of electrical items are made so they no longer have an on/off switch and have to be switched off at the wall to avoid being on stand by and wasting power...it is disgusting.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

How about if you don't have a credit/debit card it's becoming more and more difficult to pay bills or do anything? I had to borrow my moms credit card to fly to SF. I had the money, just no way of buying the ticket without a credit card. It used to be you could go to a travel agent and pay them - but now it's done online and for that you need a . . .credit/debit card.

Yep, just easier to monitor your movements. I also hate how it is now becoming impossible to pay some bills with cash or any other means except using your ATM card or credit card, and how banks are now beginning to decide whether they want to have your business or not. LOL, then again I had a huge culture shock when I came here and found banks actually are not like in OZ and the US. Basically you do most things through their machines and not a teller at the counter. One bank even said they no longer handle cash, everything comes out of or goes into a machine and the couple of people behind the little desk in the middle of the floor are there only to take care of problems such as non-working ATM cards, wanting to open an account etc. I wanted to exchange some Australian money for Dutch and got a strange look and the explanation they don't deal with money.....many of them are actually filling their windows now with house sale advertising and renting and handling real estate instead of traditional banking even though they are still a bank.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

The fact that you have to have a credit history with the credit bureau in order to rent an apartment, start up utilities, etc. Ironic that I can be in major debt but can do all of those things because I have a credit history and yet my son (who has listened to me say DON'T get caught up in credit cards and such) is penalized since he pays cash for everything and has no credit file. He has to pay extra deposits on all of his utilities, and got turned down automatically for several places he was looking to rent. Several others would rent if he would get a cosigner or pay a huge deposit.

All of that on top of having to have a debit/credit card to do what prior posters have mentioned. My paranoia is around our government and watching more of our rights and privacy slip away.


~kierae

It is scary...and more scary is how banks in Oz at least are obligated to notify the government of any 'unusual activity' on your account. It doesn't have to be huge.....my mother wanted to put $50 in my account for my birthday one year and was questioned by the bank as to why she was taking it from her account and putting it into mine and was told they had to file a report wqith the government so it could be checked up on if they felt it necessary....it has happened several times now. She even gets reorts filed when she withdraws a bigger sum than is her usual and she is a feeble, frail old pensioner barely able to stand up even with a walker.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Being left.

Because they are done with me or even if they die, it's still all about them leaving me.

I used to share this one but do not any longer..it can be very crippling if it gets a grip.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

being left alone by myself and not knowing where i am or how to get back to a safe place (can you say abandonment issues?)

being lost (kind of the same)

parades (see both above)

That must be terrible. I know when I came here and got lost a couple of times in a small town with no english speakers, not tolerant of foreigners, and without any access to a phone I got paniced...I have a phone with me at all times now and a GPS for the car.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Getting old and/or fat.

Not sure how you will avoid the getting old..it isn't that bad actually. Like all things, it has its positives.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

NOT getting old and not being able to eat anything normal.

Definately worth worrying about.

Catalina

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

...my husband's driving.

 

[catalina_francisco]

on the macro-level:
global warming
government intrusion
the possibility of wwIII should the U.S. decide to bomb Iran
the possibility of another "great depression" considering the U.S.'s current level of debt under the bush administration

gee, am I a paranoid grrl or what?

on a more personal note:
not growing old (wrinkles can be sexy) but becoming frail and dependent once I do so
related fear - osteoporosis
never being able to retire
not getting paid by clients in a timely way
my debt (this last is my most immediate concern/fear right now as a number of big clients are late in paying me and I still haven't received the very teeny inheritance that i was supposed to receive by April and that would have provided me with some breathing room.)

OK, scratch the last comment - biggest fear? my lack of money management skills, something I'm trying to change right now.

I am certainly with you on your macro list. I also worry unnecessarily about money in old age which I think comes from my mother always telling us we have to make sure we have a rood over our heads and don't end up dying in poverty. We have made provisions for it, and these days I am responsible for our financial management with him checking when he feels like it, so though I get paranoid at times and make sure I put away every cent I can squirrel out, it is becoming a manageable level of concern most times. He is surprised with what I have done so far with his money.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Whether or not I remembered to take my meds that day, or the night before.

Right now the handful of meds I take barely controls my disease, so if I miss a single dose, I am going to be in hell for the next 24-36 hours.

When I was on meds I began to write down when and what I took just to make sure. These days I try to avoid them all for as many years as I can.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Crossing the border. For some reason, every time I go through Customs I feel like I have a mobile Meth lab in my trunk.

LOL, everytime I go back home for a visit and we go through Singapore, I get pulled over to take off shoes and be scanned again for some reason. The last time though I was alone and it didn't happen and I began to wonder if it was because my son is usually with me and he has beautiful pale blond waist length hair which they might associate with suspicious behaviour. It is a pain as I feel stressed at the thought of him doing the trip alone now even though he is much better at change overs and getting from A to B than me. Given the problems he has it would not be good for him to be alone and get seriously searched or pulled for questioning so for the time being I want him to be with F or me when making the trip.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

...my husband's driving.

LOL, my lips are sealed!!

Catalina

 

[zuzub]

Is one of the reasons I strongly support controlling birth rates, working to be environmentally aware, preserving resources and not abusing what is available, limiting packaging, and most of all, I would love to be self sufficient but that is a dream here. Still I spend a lot of time each week thinking of how I can cut back further, save more in terms of using of resources, powere etc., and am addicted to any programs which show how people are incorporating new ideas into becoming self sufficient in any way. At the moment I am driving everyone in the house nuts by switching off everything that is on stand by and not being used....all but a couple of electrical items are made so they no longer have an on/off switch and have to be switched off at the wall to avoid being on stand by and wasting power...it is disgusting.

Catalina

I never realized how wasteful we are (in North America) until I lived in Belfast in the mid eighties. I was absolutely shocked. For a lot of people, hot water didn't just come out of the tap - you had to manually turn on the water heater and wait. Only certain rooms in a house were heated. Everything was turned off when not in use. Phone calls were to the point because they cost money. Anyway, it was a VERY good education and I've tried to use resources responsibily ever since. But you see it all the time - people go out and leave every light in the house (+ the tv) on. It's enough to make Irish people shudder!