Sex advice

[Arrow2891]

I'm 26. I'm not ugly, but not all that attractive either. I have a very small penis. There's absolutely nothing special about my life. Does anyone have any good advice on how do get women to sleep with a guy like me? Not cheesy advice, that makes you turn into another person, but subtle advice that somehow works? Thanks for any help.

 

[Plainly_Jane]

I'm 26. I'm not ugly, but not all that attractive either. I have a very small penis. There's absolutely nothing special about my life. Does anyone have any good advice on how do get women to sleep with a guy like me? Not cheesy advice, that makes you turn into another person, but subtle advice that somehow works? Thanks for any help.

There is more involved to good, mutually satisfying sex than having a large penis to offer a woman. I can't tell if you're looking for a relationship that leads into sexual intimacy with a woman, or some short flings or one night stands. If you're hoping to find a long-term girlfriend, then focus on making yourself attractive to the type of person you want.

What I look for in a guy:

a. he's gainfully employed, hopefully at more than a dead-end job, and/or he's working toward a career goal. I like men who know what they want to achieve and are working toward that.

b. Makes me laugh. Cannot be emphasized enough that a sense of humor is very sexy. Not mean humor, such as laughing at fat kids or something, but rather the ability to laugh at oneself, to see the absurd in life. Basically upbeat and positive, not always focusing on the negative or how life is unfair. (it's unfair in one way or another to all of us)

c. Has good relationships already in his life - i.e., long-term friendships, gets along with his parents and siblings (unless they're crazy or something). In other words, a demonstrated ability to connect with others over the long term.

d. Reliable. When he says he will arrive at a certain time, or call at a certain time - he follows through. Someone I can count on.

I had a lover whose penis was smaller than average. He was one hell of a lover. It's not about the size, but about the whole package, how you treat your woman in the bedroom and outside of it, that makes a man a keeper.

 

[Sunndance07]

llllllllllllllllllllllll

 

[gloriann]

I agree with the other two posters... seems like you need to ask yourself, do you actually want a relationship with someone, or just sex?

 

[Arrow2891]

There is more involved to good, mutually satisfying sex than having a large penis to offer a woman. I can't tell if you're looking for a relationship that leads into sexual intimacy with a woman, or some short flings or one night stands. If you're hoping to find a long-term girlfriend, then focus on making yourself attractive to the type of person you want.

What I look for in a guy:

a. he's gainfully employed, hopefully at more than a dead-end job, and/or he's working toward a career goal. I like men who know what they want to achieve and are working toward that.

b. Makes me laugh. Cannot be emphasized enough that a sense of humor is very sexy. Not mean humor, such as laughing at fat kids or something, but rather the ability to laugh at oneself, to see the absurd in life. Basically upbeat and positive, not always focusing on the negative or how life is unfair. (it's unfair in one way or another to all of us)

c. Has good relationships already in his life - i.e., long-term friendships, gets along with his parents and siblings (unless they're crazy or something). In other words, a demonstrated ability to connect with others over the long term.

d. Reliable. When he says he will arrive at a certain time, or call at a certain time - he follows through. Someone I can count on.

I had a lover whose penis was smaller than average. He was one hell of a lover. It's not about the size, but about the whole package, how you treat your woman in the bedroom and outside of it, that makes a man a keeper.

Thanks . I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I've done a simliar thread in the past, but this thread is about specific advice on how to attract women for sex, despite a lot of shortcomings.

 

[Plainly_Jane]

Thanks . I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I've done a simliar thread in the past, but this thread is about specific advice on how to attract women for sex, despite a lot of shortcomings.

Okay - good luck and I hope someone can give you good advice. I think that's hit and miss, no matter what sort of guy you are, because I don't know too many women who go out looking for impersonal sex. I guess your best bet would be cruising the bars, late at night, and finding someone who's drunk and horny. And it goes without saying, definitely wear a condom.

 

[Juggins]

I don't and have never had a one night stand, but the key to finding someone sexually attractive to me is confidence. When you see someone across the room who looks like he knows what he wants and will get it.
I don't want to fuck the guy who is sitting in the corner moping. No offense.

 

[Arrow2891]

I forgot another shortcoming: I'm only 5'5.

 

[Arrow2891]

I don't and have never had a one night stand, but the key to finding someone sexually attractive to me is confidence. When you see someone across the room who looks like he knows what he wants and will get it.
I don't want to fuck the guy who is sitting in the corner moping. No offense.

Interesting, thanks.

 

[shykittyme]

I've been reading this thread for the last little bit, and instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, why don't you tell us about some of your attributes. Believe me, if you emphasize them, a woman is more likely to want to spend time with you. However, I agree with janey...there aren't many women out there that are just waiting for some guy to come along who only wants sex from them. Not to say that there aren't any...but you'll have a tough time finding them if you're going on about your shortcomings...

And as for the size of your genitals...trust me, if you make sure that the girl you're having sex with has a great time, and I mean GREAT...then she's not going to be that concerned about it. But sex is like many other things in life, you get back what you put into it...pun intended.

 

[coastal-boy]

argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours.

If you believe you are worthless...people will perceive you are worthless. If all you are going to do is point out your flaws, that is all anyone will see in you. I don't know how many different ways to say it, but this is a mental issue...not a physical issue.

Whatever is special in our life, we have made. It is all a matter of perception. You must use perception or you will lose it.

 

[SweetErika]

argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours.

If you believe you are worthless...people will perceive you are worthless. If all you are going to do is point out your flaws, that is all anyone will see in you. I don't know how many different ways to say it, but this is a mental issue...not a physical issue.

Whatever is special in our life, we have made. It is all a matter of perception. You must use perception or you will lose it.

Quoted for truth.

If you just want sex, you could hire a hooker. It's expensive and risky, even with condoms, but you won't have to worry about any relationship stuff or being accused of rape when you fuck that drunk chick from the bar (in the eyes of the law, impaired people can't consent, so picking up drunk/drugged women is a very bad idea). Click me for advice if this is a route you want to consider.

Regardless of what type of relationship you're looking for, the same basic advice still applies: be confident, respectful, interesting, funny, attentive, put yourself together as best you can (work with what you have; accentuate your positives), and never, ever, look desperate. Do that and make an effort to meet women, and you shouldn't have a problem. Continue to point out your perceived shortcomings and expect women who want the same as you to fall right into your lap, and you're going to have a great deal of trouble.

 

[silverwhisper]

arrow, i was once like you: intensely down on myself and unable to see my good qualities. fortunately, i've had good friends who were able to take me out of that place.

when you come right down to, arrow, everyone has something to offer in a conversation, and what we're talking about here is the ability to make conversation.

if you're like i was, my big selling point was being a good listener. and if you're like i was, that's been in part the bane of your existence: being the "brother", never the "lover".

the key here is to identify something you do well--no, something you do very well. maybe it's a backrub, maybe it's listening, maybe it's playing an instrument or writing poetry: but you absolutely must find out what that thing is.

once you do identify that quality: make it the highlight of your outward demeanor. if you cannot be an advocate for yourself, you don't give strangers any reason to be so. the thing is that i've always found people want a reason to extend the benefit of the doubt.

you just have to give them a reason.

i've long advocate the "fake it 'til you make it" approach, but it seems, based on what you've said in this thread, that this may not work for you, at least not yet.

i think that you need to do a little soul-searching here. let me leave you with a question, then: what is there that you do better than just about anyone you know? i don't know you from adam: tell me why you're an interesting person with whom i might want to have a conversation.

and no: "i'm not interesting" is not a viable response. everyone is interesting, in some way, shape or form.

ed

 

[Noira]

and no: "i'm not interesting" is not a viable response. everyone is interesting, in some way, shape or form.

ed

Yes, exactly. It doesn't matter how droll you think you are, but you have to make yourself interesting. Being short isn't a big deal. I like short guys too. In fact, I'm short and fat so most tall guys just ignore me.

But "I'm not interesting" won't get you laid. Make yourself interesting. SELL yourself. Do you want to buy the used car, or the sleek, pre-tested and experienced, comfortable vehicle that's already been broken in for your convenience with cupholders?

Myself, I hate my art and writing, but I don't tell people that. Nope, I can use it as a selling point when people ask about me. "Well, I've written a 100,000 word novel in a month..." and they go WHOA. I don't say "and I hate the manuscript and want to burn it but everyone's told me it's better than I think"... nope, I go "and I'm editing it, and looking into the publication business". And I know what I'm talking about, when I talk about writing. I've studied publication seriously. I work for a publishing company. (I don't tell people that this publishing company practically consists of me and another person, who work for the newspaper) I make myself interesting, even if I'm dull.

It doesn't matter if there's nothing special about your life, you just have to make it SOUND that way. It's no big deal that I've written a few crappy novels exceeeedingly fast, but dangnabit, it makes a great conversation starter! "Heyyy, baby. I like books. >.>" Except I'm a gal. (coughs) There's something you can do too, to make conversation and keep it going. You can cook one of these, you dream about going skydiving, you...

Something.

There's always something there, and if you were so completely normal as to be completely and utterly lacking in uniquities or interest, you'd be unique simply because I've NEVER met someone who doesn't have something interesting going on in their favor, somehow! You've just got to sit down and find out what that is.

But yeah, confidence, being funny helps, and being clean! I cannot stress enough that hygein and personal appearance comes right into play. You don't want to be scruffy and smell like you play Dungeons and Dragons in a stinky basement with three other guys who haven't bathed in a month. Make yourself look good and sound good. Just because you feel you have shortcomings, doesn't mean that gal over there will.

So act like it. Confidence is unfortunately almost always the key.

 

[Arrow2891]

Thanks everyone for the advice.

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

There is more involved to good, mutually satisfying sex than having a large penis to offer a woman. I can't tell if you're looking for a relationship that leads into sexual intimacy with a woman, or some short flings or one night stands. If you're hoping to find a long-term girlfriend, then focus on making yourself attractive to the type of person you want.

What I look for in a guy:

a. he's gainfully employed, hopefully at more than a dead-end job, and/or he's working toward a career goal. I like men who know what they want to achieve and are working toward that.

b. Makes me laugh. Cannot be emphasized enough that a sense of humor is very sexy. Not mean humor, such as laughing at fat kids or something, but rather the ability to laugh at oneself, to see the absurd in life. Basically upbeat and positive, not always focusing on the negative or how life is unfair. (it's unfair in one way or another to all of us)

c. Has good relationships already in his life - i.e., long-term friendships, gets along with his parents and siblings (unless they're crazy or something). In other words, a demonstrated ability to connect with others over the long term.

d. Reliable. When he says he will arrive at a certain time, or call at a certain time - he follows through. Someone I can count on.

I had a lover whose penis was smaller than average. He was one hell of a lover. It's not about the size, but about the whole package, how you treat your woman in the bedroom and outside of it, that makes a man a keeper.

I had a partner who was around 5'6" who consistantly rocked my world in the bedroom... he was about average penis size. Honestly at first I was like.. uhoh, this might not work so well for me. I'm glad I didn't instantly discount him that first time.

Plain_Jane wrote some very good things.. I can't add much to it.

 

[subwannabe]

I didn't have sex until I was 25. No particular reason or faults, that's just the way it worked out. I know you are probably younger than that and horny so I kind of understand where you are coming from. I am going to give you some straight forward, great advice - masturbate for as long as it takes until you find the right woman where you actually want to have a relationship. I know you are anxious and eager to experience sex, but most of the time it's really not worth it until you find someone you can bond with, not to mention you may have sex with the wrong person and get diseases or have to pay child support to someone who has no intention of marrying you. You're actually lucky to have not had sex with the wrong person yet. Be careful for what you wish for.

 

[Angellika]

If you want people to like you, I think you have to like yourself first. If you are happy with who you are, you just come out as a confident person. Don't be needy, no one likes that. And just dare talking to girls, you don't lose anything.
Good luck!

 

[SubNebGuy]

Take $100 down to where the prostitutes work. No amount of shortcomings will keep you from getting laid.

But I'd wrap it twice.