Sex with Strangers - how safe ?

[mommielover]

I read loads of posts about (mainly guys) having sex with strangers, with a lot stating how much spunk is flying around, fully swallowing or taking a load. In these days of HIV+ and STD's - is this really what we want to be shouting about - should we not as a community temper these stories to be aware of the risks involved, or is that an over-reaction ??

 

[drobert44]

I read loads of posts about (mainly guys) having sex with strangers, with a lot stating how much spunk is flying around, fully swallowing or taking a load. In these days of HIV+ and STD's - is this really what we want to be shouting about - should we not as a community temper these stories to be aware of the risks involved, or is that an over-reaction ??

Not at all; I wouldnt do sex with a stranger, unless of course, a paid whore.

 

[BInowGay]

Not at all; I wouldnt do sex with a stranger, unless of course, a paid whore.

You wouldn't have to pay me. No worries about an STD either.

 

[drobert44]

You wouldn't have to pay me. No worries about an STD either.

Right; dont give disease to a pal.

 

[Britva415]

I read loads of posts about (mainly guys) having sex with strangers, with a lot stating how much spunk is flying around, fully swallowing or taking a load. In these days of HIV+ and STD's - is this really what we want to be shouting about - should we not as a community temper these stories to be aware of the risks involved, or is that an over-reaction ??

We're already aware.

I'm kind of laughing behind my hand over here at the idea that somehow you think you know but the rest of us don't.

 

[mommielover]

We're already aware.

I'm kind of laughing behind my hand over here at the idea that somehow you think you know but the rest of us don't.

I'm not trying to suggest that - but over-emphasising high-risk behaviour that can potentially ruin someone's life, does not strike me a sensible approach, when discussing stories.

 

[DaveJ99]

I hear what you are saying and when I first started to have sex with men and was younger although I dearly wanted to feel him breeding me I played safe, GF/wife, kids to look after etc. Now, well since I was in my 50's I figured enough of my responsibilities are behind me so in the right circumstances I'd play the risk and enjoy the whole experience. I absolutely love feeling a guy go bare in me and either swallowing his cum or the feel of it trickling out of me.

I'll always discuss and agree risk with him before we get started however, tho of course you're relying on trust with someone you may never have met before. Obviously in some circumstances no discussion happens, not exactly a convo you'd have at a gloryhole after all, cock appears and you just get down and worship ;-)

Having said all that, while I had free time and was considering checking out a gay sauna a little way from me, we had the whole monkey-pox thing kicking off here and news made it sound like gay men were more at risk, so I ended up parking that idea even tho it was something I'd wanted to go explore. Still haven't but probably will when the crazy work schedule eases off some.

 

[TallOne]

On Truvada Prep, get tested every 3 months with that. Wife and I seek out play partners doing the same.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm not trying to suggest that - but over-emphasising high-risk behaviour that can potentially ruin someone's life, does not strike me a sensible approach, when discussing stories.

Really?

You’re worried about “high-risk behavior that can potentially ruin someone’s life” in fiction?

The first thing that comes to mind for me is stupid ass car chases and how they influence real world drivers to be reckless.

But then I guess reckless erotica does the same thing, especially teen romance stories.

Still, who wants explicit condom use in a fantasy?

 

[cubbyfire04]

I read loads of posts about (mainly guys) having sex with strangers, with a lot stating how much spunk is flying around, fully swallowing or taking a load. In these days of HIV+ and STD's - is this really what we want to be shouting about - should we not as a community temper these stories to be aware of the risks involved, or is that an over-reaction ??

While I appreciate the sentiment here and your sense of personal responsibility, the vast majority of folks are here to indulge and share fantasies or even true stories.

I've discussed many of my real-life "risky adventures" here, but it's just not sexy to talk about how I've handled the safety aspect of things beforehand.

I'm also not without fault. I've had many "probably-shouldn't-have-done-that-moments" and taken calculated risks that I regretted immediately. But at the end of the day, safety is nobody's responsibility but your own. If you're old enough to be in these forums, you should already know how to protect yourself from STIs and that you should. But you're also old enough to choose not to as well.

 

[Britva415]

is that an over-reaction ?

Yes.

Choosing to not behave this way is a fine way to react.

Asking other people not to even talk about it is fucking bullshit.

Imagining that nobody who does behave this way is totally ignorant of how to stay safe while doing it is your own uninformed projection.

If you want to start a thread or drop comments about how to reduce the risks while still enjoying this behavior, go ahead. Many of us have done exactly that.

 

[Lemmetri]

It's a fair comment and question for him to ask. It is good to hear from others about their risk tolerance. No judgements just good dialogue.

 

[ck_san]

I read loads of posts about (mainly guys) having sex with strangers, with a lot stating how much spunk is flying around, fully swallowing or taking a load. In these days of HIV+ and STD's - is this really what we want to be shouting about - should we not as a community temper these stories to be aware of the risks involved, or is that an over-reaction ??

The risks are low if you're using protection.
PreP is like 99.9% effective and gets better effectivensss if everyone is on it. Herpes is HSV2 is really hit or miss. It's usually asymptomatic in most people. Then syphallus is bad but curable. Everything just realy sucks.

Absolute hookups are common fod tjose who find it interesting but not everyone dies. I have met openly gay men and I haven't met anyone who admits to stranger gangbangs. Sure hook ups sometimes but most people like regular partners or vetted strangers.

Orgies are fantasies for most and never become reality

 

[TryGuy35]

Really?

You’re worried about “high-risk behavior that can potentially ruin someone’s life” in fiction?

The first thing that comes to mind for me is stupid ass car chases and how they influence real world drivers to be reckless.

But then I guess reckless erotica does the same thing, especially teen romance stories.

Still, who wants explicit condom use in a fantasy?

In fantasy and in Lit chats/forums, 100% agree. This is the place to be free and live out the most naughty and erotic fantasies you can think of…raw sex, random sex, orgies, etc…..and the best part is its risk free and fun!

 

[chapter6plan]

I've started to schedule an appointment to get PrEP many times & never actually done it. I'd be a lot more adventurous if I had an Rx. But I chicken out ... mainly because I don't know what to expect from the clinic or my regular doctor. Also, I'm DL, and don't want family to know.
Maybe someone would share their experience getting PrEP for the first time?

 

[liqueur]

I've started to schedule an appointment to get PrEP many times & never actually done it. I'd be a lot more adventurous if I had an Rx. But I chicken out ... mainly because I don't know what to expect from the clinic or my regular doctor. Also, I'm DL, and don't want family to know.
Maybe someone would share their experience getting PrEP for the first time?

I got as far as having it prescribed to me. But then I didn't go through with it. The reason being, it only protects you against AIDS. In the heat of the moment, it could give you a false sense of confidence. There's a lot of other very nasty stuff out there that you didn't want to mess with. So, much as I love a hard cock in my ass, I have a hard line: if you want to fuck me, either you have paper evidence of recent clean testing, all STDs, or you wear a condom.

 

[liqueur]

Herpes is HSV2 is really hit or miss. It's usually asymptomatic in most people.

In men, yes. An asymptomatic man can pass it on to a partner, and it can be hell on wheels for a woman.

 

[Britva415]

I'm not a doctor, but as long as you're asking for PrEP, ask for DoxyPEP too. It's a regular antibiotic and takes care of an awful lot of the other likely bugs, including syphilis.

I'm DL, and don't want family to know.
Maybe someone would share their experience getting PrEP for the first time?

Well, I'm not DL, I'm uncloseted and in an open marriage, so, it's no trouble if my wife knows.

Nevertheless, my clinic doesn't "leak" information to my family members. If you're concerned that yours would, that's... a problem. And a surprise. I don't know what country you're in but in the USA this is generally not done without explicit authorization by the patient, or, a court order.

Doctors have seen it all. They should not be surprised or fazed by a patient just talking out loud about their sex life and risk factors. If they are, they're being severely unprofessional. Just talk to them.

 

[Britva415]

I want to also point out that the whole "strangers" thing is a total red herring. Having sex with someone who's not a stranger isn't safer. You need to manage this stuff whether it's a stranger or not.

The "strangers" concern stinks of moral-panic.

 

[Lemmetri]

You can get free prep online with their screening process and virtual doctor visit. The problems: they will not send the testing kit or the medication to a PO box. Where do you have it sent if you are in the closet? Anybody have any ideas?

 

[TrailerHitch]

Just a question for you all. Isn't everyone a stranger until you meet them? Also, just because you "know" someone doesn't mean they don't have HIV or some other STD. Practice safe sex and you reduce your odds immensely.

 

[chapter6plan]

Thank you all for your replies. @Britva415, I agree that knowing someone doesn't mean you know they are clean. And I know that my medical info is private (I'm in Minnesota), but it's still hard to come out to ... even my doctor (who I see once a year & barely know).
I appreciate your thoughts and experiences and would like to hear more. I don't want to hijack this thread, but I'll bet I'm not the only one here who hasn't been as safe as they should be and could use some encouragement.

 

[liqueur]

I want to also point out that the whole "strangers" thing is a total red herring. Having sex with someone who's not a stranger isn't safer. You need to manage this stuff whether it's a stranger or not.

The "strangers" concern stinks of moral-panic.

This! ↑

 

[liqueur]

I know that my medical info is private (I'm in Minnesota), but it's still hard to come out to ... even my doctor (who I see once a year & barely know).

I came out to my doctor. Turned out she's queer too! Sadly, she's just moved to a practice not near me.

 

[TallOne]

I've started to schedule an appointment to get PrEP many times & never actually done it. I'd be a lot more adventurous if I had an Rx. But I chicken out ... mainly because I don't know what to expect from the clinic or my regular doctor. Also, I'm DL, and don't want family to know.
Maybe someone would share their experience getting PrEP for the first time?

You can get it, for free, online with heymistr.com and a few other providers.

The virtual doctor visit with them will check your other meds and medical history for any possible interactions and every 3 months you get an at home sti and kidney function test, but still would be best practice to disclose to your doc that you take it on your medication list.