Sexless Marriages

[Bulldog88]

I just love when my wife will spend the day teasing, then just go to bed and get mad at me for trying to cash in on all her playfulness that she did. So I roll over and open up the hub. Story of my life

 

[ned63]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

Sorry to hear that Sassy, Lets talk and see what we like that others around us don't know mmm DM me

 

[Volk359]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

A pity you don’t live closer, I’m sure we could work something out to help each other.

 

[Abeona1]

This sounds like it’s not just about a sexless relationship, but about love and sharing; wanting hang out together? It’s one thing to be made to feel undesired (undesirable even?) but another to be criticised. It sounds like you’re not driving yourself mad… you’re being driven mad. The way people treat you does not define you. It’s a tendency of humans to turn inwards and blame oneself when situations become uncomfortably stuck and it’s hard to extract oneself. If you feel tempted then what is it that you feel you would lose? And what on the other hand do you feel is an opportunity to gain for yourself?

This came up in my feed yesterday. It may be relevant for this whole thread, but I remembered it as I read your post.

I hope you will find the happiness you deserve.

Thank you so much for your time.
About being able to recover from anything really hit home. Thanks again.

 

[SensualKat78]

Wise words. There are always routes through... and there will be one for me and my partner too, and hopefully the other posters on this thread. It will take time and some figuring out because separation would be so extremely difficult to navigate for my partner, that I would prefer peace of mind to ensure she is supported while she adjusts away from her dependency on me in many different ways. If the shoe was on the other foot and I was dependent on her, I probably would have left by now as I am a very independent type of person. The opposite is true of my partner. We shall see. Thank you again.

Each person has their own journey...

 

[Robbo694u]

I am a 64 year old female and I haven't been sexually active with my husband for over 5 years now. God, I want some fun.

There's always fun to be found, it just depends what kind of fun is needed

 

[darkantx6669]

Wow, I can’t believe I found this thread and so many people just like me! 45 with a crazy sex drive and a husband that isn’t interested in me at all. I just want to be needed and craved by someone. I’ve had so many conversations with him about it and he is not interested in me at all. I’ve gained some weight recently due to some health issues and I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive. We are roommates, living under the same roof and not having a real relationship. 21 years of marriage so it’s hard to walk away.

I know what you're feeling. I'm 48 and my wife is the same about me. She's not interested. I too am looking for someone to have conversations with...

 

[Carmina24]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

 

[Tweedledude]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

 

[Carmina24]

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

You're too kind. Thank you.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

An amazingly artistic poet. Wow

You should read her first story

 

[masterslave00]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

 

[Carmina24]

Advice for All of Us on Lit
Because sometimes, what someone needs isn't sex - it's to feel seen.

It’s easy to forget, in a place like this, that there’s a real person behind the screen. A person with longing. A person with history. A person who might be carrying silence heavier than words can hold.

I’ve come to realize that many who reach out - especially those in sexless marriages - aren’t just here for sin or flirtation. They’re here because they ache to be touched - not just physically, but emotionally. They want to be seen. Heard. Chosen. Even for a moment.

So when someone messages you, pause before you dismiss or judge.

There might be desperation in their tone - but also vulnerability.
There might be innuendo - but also hope.
There might be a sexual request - but underneath, a human asking, “Am I still desirable? Am I still worth connection?”

And maybe your reply doesn’t have to be an invitation.
Maybe it can be a kindness. A boundary held with gentleness. A reminder that they’re not invisible.

And if you choose not to continue, let your silence not be cruel.
Because ghosting isn’t just absence - it’s an echo.
It leaves the other person questioning, doubting, unraveling the threads of what they shared with you.
Sometimes a gentle word of parting carries more kindness than a vanishing act.

Here on Lit, we play, we tease, we write - but we also carry each other, sometimes without even knowing.

So let’s be mindful. Let’s be kind.
Let’s remember: every message is a heartbeat trying not to disappear.

 

[darkantx6669]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

That was amazing. That really hits hard. Thank you for posting this...

 

[Tweedledude]

Advice for All of Us on Lit
Because sometimes, what someone needs isn't sex - it's to feel seen.

It’s easy to forget, in a place like this, that there’s a real person behind the screen. A person with longing. A person with history. A person who might be carrying silence heavier than words can hold.

I’ve come to realize that many who reach out - especially those in sexless marriages - aren’t just here for sin or flirtation. They’re here because they ache to be touched - not just physically, but emotionally. They want to be seen. Heard. Chosen. Even for a moment.

So when someone messages you, pause before you dismiss or judge.

There might be desperation in their tone - but also vulnerability.
There might be innuendo - but also hope.
There might be a sexual request - but underneath, a human asking, “Am I still desirable? Am I still worth connection?”

And maybe your reply doesn’t have to be an invitation.
Maybe it can be a kindness. A boundary held with gentleness. A reminder that they’re not invisible.

Here on Lit, we play, we tease, we write - but we also carry each other, sometimes without even knowing.

So let’s be mindful. Let’s be kind.
Let’s remember: every message is a heartbeat trying not to disappear.

You so well said. I wonder why people get into that mindset that leads to this kind of sad desperation. I have asked some people have you read a book on relationships? Have you gone to a symposium? Have you actually done anything that would cause you to think to question to wonder if you are doing enough. Strangely in almost 100 percent of the situations where I’ve asked the answer is no I’ve done none of those things. So I’m left wondering why they would think anything would change. I asked my SO those questions and the answer was no. I knew that before i asked. Then one day driving to the gym to meet my trainer i thought wow why wouldn’t ya hire a relationship coach ? We get a piano teacher to learn to play the piano. We hire trainer to improve our physical performance. We’re go to a physiologist to improve our thinking. Why not a relationship coach? So asking my SO the answer was a resounding no not interested. I have since given myself permission to enjoy life in every situation. It’s hard to do it’s hard to maintain we are all filled with this idea that allot of life’s experiences are shared with that one individual. Well all i can say is go and do. It’s sure a struggle it’s a change of an entire life’s mind set but why not. If both partners are not willing to lean into the relationship then one is left to fall on one’s face. It’s truly time for us to stand on our own two feet and enjoy the people that come and go in and out of our lives.

 

[Volk359]

The Silence Between Skin

We don’t talk enough about the loneliness of being touched less in a world that touches everything but you.

We don’t talk about what it does to your soul when the person who once undressed you with a single glance now looks right through you.

We don’t talk about the nights you lie beside someone and still feel entirely alone.

Sexless marriage.

It’s not just about the act - it’s about the silence. The hollow ache of being undesired. The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.

And yet - here, in this place called Lit - we find others.

People who know. People who feel.

Writers who give language to what we’ve buried. Readers who understand the sharp edge of longing. Strangers who say, I see you, and mean it in a way that matters more than we can explain.

Sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes a story. Sometimes a wicked flirt that makes you smile again - for the first time in weeks.

Here, our thoughts are not “too much.”
Here, desire is not shameful.
Here, our imagination doesn’t rot - it blooms.

Lit has become more than an escape. It’s a reclamation. Of pleasure. Of connection. Of the parts of us we thought were gone.

So if you're reading this and feeling that same quiet despair - know this:

You are not the only one who has forgotten what it feels like to be wanted.
And you are not the only one learning to feel alive again through words, mischief, and the magic of being seen.

And if we're lucky - just maybe - we’ll find someone here who doesn’t just understand the loneliness… but knows how to touch it away.

That’s awesome, and so true. So many words to describe what I’m feeling and what I’m not feeling.

“The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.”

 

[Tweedledude]

That’s awesome, and so true. So many words to describe what I’m feeling and what I’m not feeling.

“The part of you that slowly stops reaching, stops hoping, stops existing in the way you used to.”

That part gets replaced with resentment and disappointments and ice cream and Cold Stone

 

[LeeKee]

It’s me! I feel it’s all my fault! She doesn’t want me! Been many years. She has zero interest in sex. Dream of it, tried talking to her, and get a hand job once a month. Crazy about my wife. Been married 25 plus years. Porn alone is my only outlet. In a few years I will be 60! Been working on my body and attitude. Gave up talking about it with her…. Guilt and shaming is worse than my ideas about sex!

Im in the same boat, five years behind you. It was so great for years then it turned a bit rough then turned worse. Its literally torture.

 

[LeeKee]

This is very moving. I feel like answering.

What do you wish your partner knew about the way it feels?
What is the sentence you whisper into the dark that no one has ever heard?

I wish she knew the sinking feeling of rejection I got when I spent some time naked in the holiday villa, asking her gently to join me in the bed, and all she was able to say is “why are you spending so much time without your clothes on?”. I got dressed and took a massage with acupuncture in the grounds of the resort and later fantasised about the pretty dutch lady by the pool, who smiled at me so warmly that day.

I wish she knew how affected I was when I offered to put my arms around her and kiss her, only to be told that she felt like she was being “molested”. I didn’t cry, but by then having been in a relationship for 9 years, I recognised the significance of that moment.

I have never tried again… who would? I would rather bear the ethical dilemma of having a sexual relationship elsewhere, than to receive that kind of hurtful rejection from someone who knows me. Fierce like fire when she talks to me, and cold like ice to the touch.

There are reasons for us to still be together… for now.

Passion and physical intimacy are a core human need for many of us and I see how much I’m not alone, even though the reasons are as numerous as there are replies here.

The way my wife has gone a out it is cruel. Even used an excuse of a medical condition. What medical condition would include lack of even speaking or holding hands? Or and contact whatsoever? That condition would be called ice queen. Just divorce and be done. But she is only around for benefits. From beginning 20 years ago to now. Benefits and that's it.

 

[Carmina24]

Sometimes the marriage is a grave.
But here… here is resurrection.
Here, words strip you naked faster than hands.
Here, strangers know exactly how to ruin you -
and you let them.
They pull the hunger from your bones,
wake the pulse you thought was dead,
and set it pounding in your throat.
You burn in the open,
and you don’t even care who sees the flames.

 

[Abeona1]

Radio 4 woman's hour on Friday did a section on sexless relationships. Think they may do more.
My SO won't talk to me about why.
Would like to know why.
In this day and age how have so many of us got into this situation?
And 50% of the relationship is getting what it wants. Where is the compromise?

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Radio 4 woman's hour on Friday did a section on sexless relationships. Think they may do more.
My SO won't talk to me about why.
Would like to know why.
In this day and age how have so many of us got into this situation?
And 50% of the relationship is getting what it wants. Where is the compromise?

Will have to see if it is archived. R4 always does good work.

 

[Abeona1]

Will have to see if it is archived. R4 always does good work.

You can listen on BBC sounds

 

[Spongo]

Just need to help each other get off once in a while. Sounds fun to me.

 

[Tweedledude]

Radio 4 woman's hour on Friday did a section on sexless relationships. Think they may do more.
My SO won't talk to me about why.
Would like to know why.
In this day and age how have so many of us got into this situation?
And 50% of the relationship is getting what it wants. Where is the compromise?

One of life’s hardest unanswered questions.