Thanks for the analysis, but you have to also ask...do I really know whats going on. Im also dealing with someone who is Uber connected and conniving. So, thanks, but, you are assuming too much, too simplified.
Spoken like someone with nothing to lose. If your in a brand new marriage what the hell were you thinking ? Should of known before you took the plunge.
For most of us, there's a lot more in the picture than just the bedroom. Do I miss it yes, but when you look at everything, we have built together the family and life after 43 years, I can live in a sexless marriage.
I know that was part of my downfall. I wasn't listening as I should have been soon enough
Very well said, if it was that easy there wouldn’t be all those posts over the years.
I’m fortunate to have a specialist that ensures my hormone levels are closely monitored.
Im working on it. That was my goal this year.
Yeah, well, she has no desire to even look at any potential things that could help. So, I don't agree with everything you say, as she has pointed out, she does not need sex anymore, she says she is fine not having any desire any longer. Like you, she was basically a freak in bed pretty much every day, then bam, nope, no desire anymore. So she has decided I don't get any affection ever again unless I leave, because deal with it or leave. This is on her, not me. Oh, and I gave up asking if she would discuss it with her doctor. Basically torture at this point.
That’s very unfortunate. But that’s when you decide whether that’s the life you want or not. I had to make that decision with my last husband. We had nothing in common but got along great. He had a significantly lower sex drive than I did. It seriously would not hurt my feelings at all if my husband told me I wasn’t meeting his needs and he needed someone who loved sports more and needed more sex and affection than I do. Everyone has needs. If they’re repeatedly not being met, consideration has to be given to an alternative life.
Every day, coming up on 17 year's and no end in sight
Very much so. I wish I could find someone in a similar situation. Someone not looking to date or be emotionally involved, just to occasionally have sex, to be physically intimate with.
Not every woman is a candidate for HRT and HRT doesn’t always fix low libido.
I understand that but do you think she should at least check into HRT? Asking because she wouldn't even consider it or talk to the Dr.
I find it interesting that your advice is only to men, as if women don’t find themselves with the same problem. I’m having the highest libido of my life while my husband has ED and nothing works to fix it. He is a sweet man and I love him dearly so even though I have needs that are not being met, Im not going to kick him to the curb. We have been married for 40 years and have too much invested in one another and this close to retirement neither one of us needs to lose the house and all of the wealth we built up together. There are more important things than sex and I see a lot of shallowness and misogyny in your response.
My advice is still valid, even for a woman. Apparently, you have made your choice - - your marriage and financial position is more important than your sexual happiness. Perhaps if your husband loves you as much as you love him, then perhaps he should allow you, (with his blessing), to take a lover. That happens more often with men who suffer from ED than you might think.
I don't know your wife, or her age. There are justified medical reasons to go on HRT, but it's probably now being over prescribed because everyone thinks it will fix everything. If she won't talk to her doctor about it, what are you gonna do? There are other health considerations like cardiovascular disease, that might make it a worthwhile discussion with her doctor. But, it also comes with other risks like cancer and blood clots. Everyone is different, but it's not the magic pill social media is marketing it as.
Unfortunately like many other drugs, there can be unwanted side effects. Each woman is different of course. I wonder how easily it would be to suggest to the wife to try it, when some think there is no problem, and they don't need sexual desires to make them feel better? Just wondering.....
I think this is fair. It’s entirely possible she is asexual. It’s also entirely possible she thinks you bringing it up is shaming her, in a way, for not wanting it. I think people should approach HRT for more reasons than libido. There are libido meds for women but most doctors don’t know about them.
If my husband told me to try HRT for my libido I’d never try it. Women don’t really need sex. Many women are happy to eliminate the pressure to have sex as they get older. HRT has other benefits like bone health and CV health. Metabolic health like cholesterol and blood sugar. ‘I keep seeing articles about how many more women are trying HRT for their heart and bone health - have you ever considered it?’ Would be a much better approach.Unfortunately like many other drugs, there can be unwanted side effects. Each woman is different of course. I wonder how easily it would be to suggest to the wife to try it, when some think there is no problem, and they don't need sexual desires to make them feel better? Just wondering.....
You are correct just took me a while to understand what she was trying to tell me and yes she has admitted she is now A-sexual, doesn't think or want sex with anyone ever again.
This is unfair of her. Sorry. You’ve stuck it out with nothing for this long, it shows you’ve made peace with the situation. She should be able to do that. That’s problematic, to me.
