Sexual History

[Chemscout]

Ok, so after getting divorced, I'm wondering how one goes about asking a prospective partner for a sexual history. Not something I've had to deal with in years. I was told today as some coworkers and I were discussing it to ask for "a complete sexual history"...but what does this really mean? Other than the number of partners, do I need to know the number of times with each one? The period of time in which the sex took place? Type of sex?

I hope this isn't a stupid question, but some help for the recently reintroduced to the dating world would be greatly appreciated.

CS

 

[gemaussieslut]

I'm not sure why you would need to know the exact number of sexual partners, though sometimes it can be interesting to know (I know when I meet someone new, it's not something I disclose, nor would I tell them my number)

- I'd be primarly concerned with their sexual health. If they had been checked for STIs and whether or not they want to use a condom.

With all new sexual partners you need to make sure you protect yourself with a condom.
Also it may be wise to get yourself checked for STIs to make sure you know you have a clean bill of health yourself.

If this prospective partner turns into something serious, then you might talk more about how many people they have slept with in the past. Initially though it isn't something I would be concerned about. I have slept with x number of people, all my parnter needs to know is I have a clean bill of health and with all my partners i have used a condom and don't have any STIs


Though this is just my opinion - it isn't gospel and I'm sure others will have an opinion. I don't think how many people is relevant, but their health definitely is

regardless, be safe and have fun.

 

[Ex Princess]

Most of my partners were open enough to tell me without me even having to ask anything. The ones that did not volunteer this information right away, I just gave a brief rundown of the who, what, how, when and why of my sexual history and then asked about theirs.

I've had interesting experiences sexually so I won't lie, I have had men decline to continue relationships with me but still it is better to know.

 

[wicked woman]

I'm not sure why you would need to know the exact number of sexual partners, though sometimes it can be interesting to know (I know when I meet someone new, it's not something I disclose, nor would I tell them my number)

- I'd be primarly concerned with their sexual health. If they had been checked for STIs and whether or not they want to use a condom.

With all new sexual partners you need to make sure you protect yourself with a condom.
Also it may be wise to get yourself checked for STIs to make sure you know you have a clean bill of health yourself.

If this prospective partner turns into something serious, then you might talk more about how many people they have slept with in the past. Initially though it isn't something I would be concerned about. I have slept with x number of people, all my parnter needs to know is I have a clean bill of health and with all my partners i have used a condom and don't have any STIs


Though this is just my opinion - it isn't gospel and I'm sure others will have an opinion. I don't think how many people is relevant, but their health definitely is

regardless, be safe and have fun.

This.

there's no way I'd share my sexual history. Not the way I think your co-workers are suggesting. Frankly, none of their business and I've never had anyone ask. oh and I've never asked for a sexual history either.

That's not to say that I might not mention something...like in the past I've loved anal...but that's more about sharing my likes/dislikes than it is about the intimate details of who, what, where and when.

 

[twister947]

Why ask? People are liars. Condom, or a test. Period.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Ok, so after getting divorced, I'm wondering how one goes about asking a prospective partner for a sexual history. Not something I've had to deal with in years. I was told today as some coworkers and I were discussing it to ask for "a complete sexual history"...but what does this really mean? Other than the number of partners, do I need to know the number of times with each one? The period of time in which the sex took place? Type of sex?

I hope this isn't a stupid question, but some help for the recently reintroduced to the dating world would be greatly appreciated.

CS

I think for most people, to be quizzed about your sexual history by someone you just met would be an insult. Would you like to be quizzed about your sexual history by someone you just met?

 

[Chemscout]

I apologize if I expressed myself poorly. This wasn't presented as a "first date" kind of discussion, but rather more along the lines of a discussion one has with someone that might progress beyond the casual stages and into a serious relationship. Whether that sort of thing is important to know. The men with whom I spoke were very divided on it, and I'm frankly at a loss.

 

[Chemscout]

......

 

[ILmonamour]

It's not 1955

It's not 1955, and I'm certainly not 21 anymore. When it comes to new partners (because I'm a perpetual spinster) I don't want to know numbers, but always ask for protection. Because it's MY body. If we end up in a relationship well that's a whole otherr story of questions but apart from that...I don't want to know who's had your stick, where you've been and I sure as hell am not explaining my vagabond lifestyle. Nope, so don't count on it. But, I trust the man of the minute to at least be safe until we figure a mutual plan that is beneficial.

 

[SweetErika]

I at least want to know about a partner's STI and testing history, as well as what they do and will agree to in terms of safer sex practices. Those things give me some idea of where they're coming from (like if they don't get tested regularly and/or believe in condoms, that's a big red flag for me), but I always assume talk is cheap and there's some risk of catching something, no matter what the status of the relationship is. Even in my marriage, I recognize there's no such thing as total safety. I'm confident my husband doesn't cheat, but I accept the risk that he could and expose me to something as some point.

The topic of our sexual health histories has come up organically with partners in the past. When we've gotten close to sexual activity, one of us has brought it up by saying something like, "How do you feel about condoms and other safer sex practices?" That's led into a conversation about STIs and the like. It's really no big deal - I'd be seriously uncomfortable if a partner didn't ask or want to talk about it.

 

[Scotsman69]

My partner and I have fully shared our sexual histories. Well, I have anyway....

 

[Babyslave]

Why ask? People are liars. Condom, or a test. Period.

I'm with you there... Short and to the point. Whether it's a lie, or a simple omission, the result is the same. Why ask, indeed.

My partner and I have fully shared our sexual histories. Well, I have anyway....

Really? Anyone that says they have shared fully or everything. at least in my experience has not. Never all, never fully, never everything. Surely there must be at least something that you've withheld.... something you believe your partner doesn't need to know.

 

[Primalex]

(like if they don't get tested regularly and/or believe in condoms, that's a big red flag for me),

Someone who does get tested regularly and/or who does not use condoms, would worry me.

 

[Primalex]

.....

 

[Cameo_Fleur]

One word: condom

 

[Joshua_silver]

if you're ready to have sex with someone you should be cofortable talking to them about it.

 

[TheLM]

I hope nobody in this topic tries to donate blood... They'll ask for a bit of sexual history! XD